We made a King Cake and had pancakes for dinner. The kids handed out Mardi Gras beads at swim practice. Tomorrow we will get a drive through ashes. My priest is using new gloves for each person so we can still have crosses rather than get sprinkled.

I just want to say that my autistic kid would laugh when she got in trouble. It really was just a nervous release, but it would really get under my husband’s skin. It felt so disrespectful to him. She only made it through kindergarten and 1/2 of first grade in school settings, but I told her teachers that when she acted that way, they should pretend she was crying because she was feeling similar to a kid who might cry in uncomfortable situations, but she was just expressing it differently.

I have a Maltese that is mainly in the house, a female Pyr that is mainly in the house, and a male Pyr that is mainly outside. That is because that’s what he prefers. Yet there are a few neighbors here that get all emotional when the low is under 60 degrees and I let him stay outside. They are the same people who believe pet ownership is the same as slavery. One neighbor tried to tell me it is illegal to let out cat out when she literally only goes on the porch, on my car, or in my yard. That neighbor now crosses the street rather than talk to me.

My girls also buy shorts and pants from the boy’s section until they start sewing their own.

I’m actually enjoying having Dh working from home. I particularly like how he puts my coffee next to the bed when I get up so I can drink it in bed. But for context, he has always had a long commute on a good day and traveled for work more than 50% of the time, so for decades, we would literally have a conversation every few weeks. It wasn’t our preference, just our reality and I really never expected it to change. My situation is different too, because my kids are older and I tore something in my knee, so I’m mostly resting in bed or resting on the couch. I love it when he comes in and talks to me about the call he has coming up at 1:00 or the resolution he finally got concerning a coworker. He is working from home until at least June and probably only return to the office a few days each month after that, so the pandemic’s ending won’t cause his work life to go back to how it was a year ago, and I’m glad about that. On the other hand, I have an adult kid who I am really ready to have leave the nest. I love her, but we have had way too much togetherness in the last year. I had a come-to-Jesus talk with her this weekend and her attitude has been better. It is just hard never getting a break from each other. In a way, I feel like we have hit our pandemic stride and could continue without too much inconvenience for the next 6 months or so. It helps that my younger kids have gotten more independent with their school work and they are still able to compete in their sport and see their friends outside every day. It is a weird new reality for us, but one we have adapted to as much as possible.

I would think that how long it takes is directly related to why you are anemic. For example, I got 5 bags of IV iron last year and my hemoglobin was lower after each bag, because I had occult bleeding. The doctor on call said that iron is like giving me bricks when I need shelter. It might work eventually, but it would take way too long to be effective. I had a couple of blood transfusions after that. They only helped short term too, and my level didn’t stay up until they were surgically able to stop the source of the bleeding. So I guess I’m wondering if there is a standard answer to how long iron supplements last affect your blood test results or if it really is a situation where there are too many underlying factors to predict this.

I’ve had 6 miscarriages. Some were earlier and some were later, but all were after seeing a heart beat, so clearly, not a chemical pregnancy, or an incorrectly read test. I’ve found that reacted differently and have grieved differently depending on the circumstances. Some broke me, and some I was able to get over more quickly. A kind of funny side note-When I was in the hospital, my nurse read my chart before introducing herself to me at the beginning of the shift. When she read that I’d had 6 miscarriages, she got so sad that she couldn’t read more at the moment. She was just so sad that I had never been able to have children, but I had apparently just kept trying. She laughed and laughed when one kid after another poured in to visit me. Then other kids who aren’t mine, but whom I try to mother started visiting. My nurse asked one of them where she fell in the birth order. She replied,”I’m the 6th child that she never wanted, but can’t seem to get rid of.” Anyone who knows me, knows I really did want that 6th child.

I like “Care by Design” and also “Restore” I do use a CBD/THC blend because I’m in California, but my doctor is thrilled that it controls my pain to the point where I don’t take any opioids any longer and don’t need a sleep aid either. I’m hoping that it helps me get off my last medication soon. Good luck!

I think this is an important point. I am not sure how to create the solution. I grew up in very diverse schools and neighborhoods. My older kids grew up in very white neighborhoods, so I was very thankful for my sister-in-laws books and stories and conversations over the years that helped my older kids become more aware that they were living in just a tiny slice of what the world has to offer. My younger kids are growing up in a city that was the “most racially/ethnically diverse city in the United States in 2015”. Their reality is so different. They are the only white kids in Sunday school. When we go to parties, we are the only white family there. Their friend groups are 100% black and brown. Their swim team hosted a diversity camp and my then 13 year old wrote to the people putting it on. She said that she didn’t meet any of the criteria, but she wanted permission to attend and learn how to be a better ally. I feel like their friendships teach them so much more than just books ever could, but I also see how many people don’t have that luxury. Sometimes the jobs a family needs are in an area that isn’t diverse at all. Books are better than nothing in that situation. But I think Carol is right about setting the example. That something we can all do, no matter where we live.

I was so lucky about 20 years ago when I first started homeschooling. My sister-in-law is a professor and I had her read the first edition of TWTM when she was visiting one Christmas. She said it was great except for the lack of diversity, so she took on that challenge of supplementing with books and other resources for the kids as they were growing up. So my advice would be to delegate the job to someone who is really knowledgeable and has an investment in your kids’ educations. Worked for me. LOL!

We mix eggs and finely grated cheese and cook in the waffle maker to make a low carb bread. It freezes well and at least you know it doesn’t have any extra undesirable ingredients.

I wish.

This has been our experience as well. My oldest got a full scholarship to CC and got her two year degree and still qualified for merit scholarships at her 4 year school. I know that is not the case everywhere. I had many friends who would not let their teens take classes at the CC because that would screw up their kid’s chance to get a swim scholarship at 18. Exactly zero of their kids were offered swim scholarships. So there is that. What I’ve learned here is that the quality of CC varies significantly from one location to another. We have been very lucky in Texas and in California as well to have access to CC with exceptional professors who continue to support and mentor my kids long after they have left CC. I think that you really have to look at all of the angles, as OP states. My kids may need CC more than the next person’s because I neither test nor grade in homeschool. Also, I know some posters live in areas where the CC only teaches subjects that their kids have already mastered at home. Every family and every kid is going to have different needs. I’m just thankful to have a great CC nearby, and if COVID is under control in the fall, I’ll sign my then 15 year old up for one class in the fall and maybe two in the Spring, just to start transitioning her to an outside school environment. The advisors at our CC do give the kids a list of the classes they need to transfer to the state flagship. They allow them to choose their classes from that list.

I grew up in a family with a lot of yelling, so I married a man with considerable self control, and we just don’t have yelling. When someone here has something to say, they need to wait until they are in control enough to speak calmly and respectfully. In our family, yelling is as taboo as if one of us just started hitting the other. The only reason I’m posting is that I wanted to commemorate with you about that attitude that you are the stupidest person in the world. Every one of my kids has gone through a stage of treating me that way. It just happens like clockwork. My sweet adoring child turns into an arrogant, smug teen with a superiority complex. I remind myself that they are doing exactly what they are supposed to be doing at this age, and that they are never going to be able to separate from me and become their own strong adult self if our relationship stays in the same honeymoon stage of infancy and childhood. I try to treat their newfound distain for my intelligence with humor, so hopefully we can all end up laughing about it. When there is a real issue, not just a snotty attitude, I never use punishment because that just strengthens the message that we are on 2 different sides. Also, my kids are so dang stubborn that if I started trying to take privileges away from them, the game would be on to outsmart me and sneak around behind my back. That would all take the focus off of working on whatever the real issue was originally. We do a lot of problem solving together with the emphasis on being on the same team and having the same goals. I tell them to expect us to come up with a bunch of solutions that just don’t end up working before we find something that does because that is just how problem solving works. The good news is that after decades of practicing this, we have become pretty good collaborators, and once they out grow their teen years, even after they grow up and move across the country, they still come to me for advice and respect my opinions, which is my ultimate goal, not just obedience. I just wanted to let you know that your kid is just acting like a kid, and that behavior is going to last until maturity starts taking over. I’m not sure if there is anything that parents can do to shorten that time, so I try to make that period as low stress as possible and focus on the kind of relationship I want to have with them when they finally emerge on the other side. I have a 14 year old who is deep into her teen attitude and an 11 year old who is just testing the waters. My experience is that my kids start coming out of it at about age 22 so I have a lot longer to live with the eye rolling and resistance. It is in my own best interest to learn how to live with it with the least amount of conflict possible.

My daughter in grad school gets tested every week with a saliva test. She says undergraduates have to get tested 3 times a week. Getting tested is the only time she goes around other people, so she isn’t thrilled by the risk she feels getting it done, but it is required to remain a student in good standing.

My kid mispronounced denouement when she was presenting at a graduate conference. I realized she had only encountered it reading and never heard it used. No one except for me (later) pointed it out to her. All of the lovely people in the room were so generous with their appreciation and praise. I think I’ve been really hard hit with word retrieval during and post chemo because I already had learning disabilities and my limited understanding is that the chemo hit the part of my brain that I used to compensate for them. I often say a completely bizarre substitution without noticing like, “Please go get your clean clothes out of the freezer.” I definitely substitute words that sound a little similar but mean completely different things. When I do that, I know it is wrong at least, and can ask, “What is the word I’m trying to say?” Sometimes I only remember the first part of a word and I keep repeating it, hoping that will trigger memory of the rest. The very worst is when I forget the word, or sometimes a whole thought stream, and there is just nothing there to search or give me a hint. I feel like a person in a show who has a blackout. I’m thinking and searching and there is only void. I’m hopeful that it is slowly getting better, though, and someday, I’ll go back to being just a learning disabled person. The aunt I was named after has pretty advanced dementia. She is such a role model for me because she just laughs about it and stays so good natured about everything. One interesting thing is that in conversation, she won’t have the words that she wants to say, so she will break out into a hymn that she memorized as a child. The hymn will be exactly appropriate to the topic of the conversation. It is just that the part of the brain where the music is stored is the part least damaged. I’m not nearly as good natured. When my kids laugh at mistakes, which they love to do, I go into my room and slam the door. I can tell that I am not likely to be a fun old person. LOL.

I’m genuinely confused. It is probably my chemo brain affecting me, but I don’t even remember using the term “low functioning”.

Quoting you again to say that my relative who is in a cult has an extremely high IQ but impaired social skills.

I know you are right. That is why I said that I just noticed this with my own friends and family. Even then, it is low education and not low IQ.

This might sound really ugly, and I’m sure that other posters will have had a different experience but... I have some very beloved people in my life who are prone to conspiracy theories and one characteristic that they all share is a low level of education. Just sayin’.

I’m not sure about the exact percentage of abuse that is perpetrated by mom’s boyfriend or new husband, but having had a stepfather myself, I decided when I was very young that if I could just do this one thing (never expose my kids to the risk of my having a boyfriend or second husband) I would substantially cut their risk of being abused. I know some really amazing step parents and blended families, so I think intellectually, that this is an over reaction on my part, but emotionally, I feel like it is a small sacrifice for me to make if it helps them to grow up without additional trauma. My eyes have always been close to home when trying to protect my kids. I remember the first time I let my oldest spend the night with my sister, I told my kid, “Now if Auntie tells you that you are all going to meet mom in Mexico for a fun. Surprise vacation, RUN! RUN!” I was only half joking.

We talk about that a lot here. I have some kids who seemingly just absorb academics from the air but are challenged and maybe just a little uninterested socially. My middle daughter actually has to study to get good grades, but she has always made and kept friends easily. Now that she has graduated from college, she has a slew of people helping her get housing and recommending her for jobs. My son said that she is the one who has what it takes to be successful because we have all seen the extremely dedicated and competent worker get passed over while the worker who does okay work, but whom everybody likes being around keeps getting promoted. I’m doing a little better balancing things with my 2 youngest kids. One tends more towards scholarship and and tends more towards social activities but neither of their bends are as extreme as the ones my older kids have.

That would make sense to me. I had allergic reactions to bug bites when I was a kid. I remember being sent home from school with chicken pox when I didn’t even have chicken pox. I eventually outgrew any allergies, moved to California where I never seem to get bitten by anything, then had Chemo which might have knocked down some of the immunity I had developed.

I wish I had asked here months ago. I finished Chemo in September, but my doctor said I am definitely immune comprised. I remember getting my first cluster of these pretty soon after finishing chemo. I did tell my oncologist, but I didn’t have an outbreak at that moment to show her like I showed my primary care doctor today. I just took a Claritin, so I’ll see if that helps. I will keep a food diary. I mostly eat the same things everyday and some of them like avocados could be the culprit. I don’t drink alcohol much anymore, except for tonight when we are having champagne to celebrate a negative test result. Dh said, “I never thought I’d be so proud of you for getting a zero on a test!” This is day 2. They haven’t developed blisters yet.

Hmmm....I’m dealing with neuropathy from Chemo, so I’m pretty much tingling most of the time. The part I don’t understand is if it was shingles, could it go on for months being just a few spots at a time? I’m going to go google images of shingles. They definitely have more of a blisters on bumps than the pictures of I saw of shingles.