I like the suggestions above to make an agreement for a trial and each keep separate charts, and to lower the dosage in smaller increments. I think this would have seemed reasonable to me (as the spouse upset by unilateral decision). Though I would still have worried, it would be reasonable. It would have been my preference to have the dr's input as well. Maybe agree ahead of time on certain areas to chart, both objective and subjective. At the very least, it would give you a lot of good info. This would also allow (require) him to pinpoint exactly what his concerns are. It also shows that you take his concerns seriously.

Agreeing with others. This is the kind of thing I'd do with something I received, maybe for free with an order or as a gift, that I'm not going to use but don't want to just throw away.

I feel that a spouse (assuming a normal, healthy relationship) should have significant input on any decision that affects family life. Based on my own experience, having been both the spouse living with the effects of a spouse with similar untreated issues *and* (at a different time) the spouse who needed treatment, I would say that the opinion of the spouse without mental health issues should be given more weight in the decision-making process. (Again assuming healthy relationship.) I am saying this type of decision is a joint decision, but the more mentally healthy spouse's opinion should carry more weight. So, for example, when I was the one needing to medicate, although I wasn't completely sold on it initially, I gave more than the usual consideration to his opinion. (and he was right) He lives with the consequences of the decision too, and with mental health issues there is a good chance the person with the issues is unable to have a truly accurate picture of how things are. I have had a number of friends with various mental health issues over the years. Although I have seen several of them make decisions about medication and treatment based on their own feelings about it, those decisions have never had good results. I'm not saying their opinions shouldn't matter at all, but mental health issues skew perceptions and they are always the last ones to realize when things are off. When I was in the position of your husband, and my spouse made unilateral decisions about medicating/treating or not, it was extremely difficult to handle. Yes, it was his body. But he was making decisions that *greatly* affected the entire family, not to mention our relationship itself, and doing so when things were *finally* improving. It was beyond hurtful, and I despaired of our relationship ever recovering. Your dh may feel differently, this was just how I felt. It's worth pondering why you didn't discuss it beforehand. It's not like adjusting your multivitamin, kwim? And why now? Adjusting these kinds of meds can be hard at the best of times. Assuming all else is good, I would think that he might react better to an approach that involved your doctor and input from him. Perhaps an agreement to closely monitor and an agreed upon threshold that, if crossed, results in upping the dosage again? I don't know the particular med and effects, so this would vary. It might also be better approached at a time that is not in the middle of a pandemic, when medical care may be less available and stress is not so high. Also, (((hugs))). These things are so difficult to work through, for both spouses.

Done

Just glancing over it, it sounds like the opinions they will be considering are those of experts who see the worst cases of child neglect and the worst homeschooling families. Hardly representative.

Center for Lit (the TTC people) has a few free things going on right now. See if these links work for you. I think the second link includes the TTC recordings, and it's a 6 week trial, so you could get quite a lot. A bundle of recorded lessons: https://secure.ultracart.com/checkout/singleLoad.do?r=1585359854585&merchantId=CR4LT Trial membership: https://centerforlit.us12.list-manage.com/track/click?u=ae696897b7b02eafd9f60f218&id=5a1dc6a576&e=367a5f6663 Another trial membership: https://centerforlit.us12.list-manage.com/track/click?u=ae696897b7b02eafd9f60f218&id=cc1861bc61&e=367a5f6663

I'm sorry, that would be *extremely* irritating.

Re things to do outside, we've gotten a ton of mileage out of a fort and swingset. My dad and I built it; if your dh is handy it would be a great investment. We also have one of these https://www.amazon.com/dp/B004K0Q8LG/ref=cm_sw_r_apa_i_MrlEEbHGNK3WC and it has been well worth it. Quicker than a fort to put together, so maybe he'd more likely have time for that. The other thing that's been the biggest hit is just a dump truck load of dirt. We had several loads one time, for filling in part of the yard, and I put off spreading it out for a long time bc the kids had *so much fun with them. Maybe one or two things that require less time than a fort could be added. And then rotate one or two kids outdoors, grouped by whoever causes the least trouble together.

I only have two, but I noticed this too. Dd8 (ASD, ADHD) needs a ton of movement, the heavier the better. Both kids are outside much of the day (weather permitting). They switch on and off with me for seatwork, but if I had more I would have them switch on and off outside time. If I had multiples of dd, I would need to have a more rigid schedule than I do. She does best with set periods of undirected time, as opposed to long stretches. While she can amuse herself well for long stretches, she's better regulated with more structure. I wonder if the screen time would work better as a reward for good behavior? Instead of losing minutes for infractions, require earning minutes with good behavior. Just an idea, I think this will vary by kid, but maybe something to think about. We have dyslexia here too. Audiobooks do work well, and last longer if they are doing something else quiet (lego, drawing, building, puzzle, etc) while listening. I know I'm not the target group, but hope these thoughts are ok. Edit: One more thought. I notice in the 9-12 block, if I understand correctly, those who are finished and waiting watch a movie? I have nothing against screen time, but for us this would not work well in the morning. It seems to work ok to have some structured screen use during the day, for school activities. But if they have more than 15 min (I've experimented with times) of free-type screens during the day, it is extremely difficult to both control behavior and get them back on track with what we need to be doing. So currently they have 15 min free time - after their morning list is completed and inspected - and that's it for free, for entertainment, screen time until evening family tv time. Ymmv, just something to consider.

We have Vivant. No complaints. The app is easy to use, as well as the panel.

That's good to know, thanks! My mom used them occasionally years ago, I haven't thought of them in a while but saw a truck last week and meant to check online.

My dh's frantic text from Aldi (a place I thought was at least vaguely familiar to him), where he got 3 or 4 items: Where are the bags? What do you put your stuff in? !?!?! (A few minutes later, after a flutter of texts back and forth): A lady took pity on me and helped me bag. I agree, it can be nervewracking. The Aldi line moves super fast. Try it sometime with kids and a heaping cart. 🙄😂

Probably related to what I posted above.

That you can give yourself the same vaccine you give your cows (Lots of cows around here. I guess one common vaccine is for a coronavirus? I haven't bothered to confirm) and be protected. This was from someone my dh knows. Sigh. Also, many in my area still think it is completely overblown, same as the flu, or as I heard yesterday, "fake news. Nothing but a hoax." People are just now raiding the local grocery store, as the schools have shut down and they are hearing of things shut down in the cities 2-3 hours away, they can no longer ignore it. Edit: This morning from the pharmacy tech: There will be no shortages of anything, people are just panicking. All it takes is one person to start the panic.

I'm so sorry. 😥

My mom and I were discussing the merits of planting corn this year . . . 🤣

Thank you! This helps a lot. With the other one, if I steamed a mattress it had to dry for hours. It is a lot more humid here, but I don't think the humidity would make *that* much difference. I'm inclined to think it was the machine. I plan to get one. 😊

I've been considering one for a while now. I used to have a (cheaper) steamer that was a real pain. It took forever to heat up and often dripped water all over the place. The steam was very wet and drippy, and whatever you were cleaning needed to be cleaned regularly first, because it just got dust wet and pushed it around. Does this miracle device do any of that super-irritating stuff? Or is that all solved with this one?

Yeah, I don't know what I'd do if it cost more here. I'm fortunate that it's not more expensive. Right now, it's an expense both I and dh are comfortable with. That may change later, though. If we needed to slash expenses, I'd go back to doing it myself.

My parents are both white now. They occasionally use one of those purple shampoos for white hair. It keeps it from yellowing. They both have very pretty white hair. I hope I have the same. Edit: I know my texture isn't the same, my grays are wiry and coarse. I will definitely have to use product. I think my dad's hair is this way, but it's so short it's not noticeable. Mom's is silky. I've been coloring since 18, when I first started going gray. I used to do it at home, but a few years ago it got very resistant to color. Now I have it colored and highlighted. It takes 2 hours (total, with cut, wash, blowdry) and $65 (plus tip) every 6 weeks. I do plan to eventually let it go, but it does age me a lot, so I'm not ready yet. Dh is quite a few years younger than me, and the kids are young . . . It's just not time yet.

The Balanced Life has several free pilates videos on her YouTube channel, I believe.

These days, I'm mentally doing school prep while sipping. Multi-tasking at its finest. 😆 I'm legit considering the audiobook idea. It's never been a huge stress relief or sleep aid for me.

Fingers crossed. Mine *and* dh's. 🤣

Sigh. Neither effect has kicked in yet for me. Just my luck. 😆

You know, I have heard/read this more than once. While I am sure that is true for some, I have not (since my taste for TeA has diminished) found it to be true. I'm happy that dh is happy, and that in itself is motivating, but it doesn't lead to me actually wanting more.