Jean in Newcastle Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 I’m stronger than my ILs. It would not be pretty if they physically tried to put my kids somewhere and I said no. And I wouldn’t feel badly about it one bit. God put me here to protect my children. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 I am resting now becaus #sinusonfection. But this morning we did a tad bit of school, I made bread, 2 pie crusts for Thanksgiving (one being GF because I am a good hostess) and then went to the hardware store for paint and paint related stuff so we can paint the girls' room tomorrow. I don't know if I got what I needed, but I spent a lot of $$ and had a good chat with the paint guy about cats. The hardware store has 2 cats. I love businesses that have cats. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 I have no warning posts. Just sayin'. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 I have no warning posts. Just sayin'. Neither do I. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 I do. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TN Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 We have had no contact with my mother since August of 2016 and limited contact with MIL since January of 2011, but we're moving closer to MIL and I'm beginning to really stress out. Good locks on the doors. You should have all our numbers and text us when you need the ENB. I can be in Indianapolis in 5 hours going the speed limit. :) 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 I am resting now becaus #sinusonfection. But this morning we did a tad bit of school, I made bread, 2 pie crusts for Thanksgiving (one being GF because I am a good hostess) and then went to the hardware store for paint and paint related stuff so we can paint the girls' room tomorrow. I don't know if I got what I needed, but I spent a lot of $$ and had a good chat with the paint guy about cats. The hardware store has 2 cats. I love businesses that have cats. I don't go to businesses with cats. #allergies 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 I do. You rebel, you. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 I am very good at boundaries. I have told adults, including employers, no. And I've told them to stop having a tantrum because I will not talk to them until they do. And they have respected me for it. And miraculously I never got fired for it. In fact, I had three different employers who I stood up to and each one of them would ask for me for certain jobs because they knew that I wasn't going to be playing games. My mom said that I was as stubborn as a mule and it has actually stood me in good stead in life. I remind myself of that with my children. . . 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 I can't take my hands off this horse. Him has such beautiful muscles. I like them almost more than I like his hair. :blush: 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 I am very good at boundaries. I have told adults, including employers, no. And I've told them to stop having a tantrum because I will not talk to them until they do. And they have respected me for it. And miraculously I never got fired for it. In fact, I had three different employers who I stood up to and each one of them would ask for me for certain jobs because they knew that I wasn't going to be playing games. My mom said that I was as stubborn as a mule and it has actually stood me in good stead in life. I remind myself of that with my children. . . I have never been able to say no. If I say no and someone says I don't accept your no I've never known what to do. I panic and I let them do whatever they want. Matt steps up to his mom for me but she has a funny little habit of showing up when he's not around. We didn't have children when we lived near her before. They are why we moved away. Remember when I said he questioned my mental health? She did that on purpose and he agreed we needed to leave. I can't take my hands off this horse. Him has such beautiful muscles. I like them almost more than I like his hair. :blush:Wanna see da horsie! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 On an unrelated note I've recently come to the conclusion that I'm a spoiled brat (slothful) and need to be more disciplined. I do not care for this revelation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 It's a matter of safety for your kids. They need to know how to do it, so you have to learn. Ouch. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 Sorry. Hugs. ETA I didn't mean to be mean. I'm a product of a woman who never said no. I really, really wish she would have. You weren't mean! It was good. I put it on my phone's background. I'm the product of a woman who wouldn't take no. If I said no she would beat me or worse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Southern Ivy Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 This book isn't helpful. The book says to say no. When I say no my mother calls me a ****ing idiot and storms off and my mother in law says I'm doing it anyway and does it. What do I do with that? I wouldn't put it past my MIL to physically put my children in her car when I say she can't. No does not help with that. It doesn't help with lying to my face or crying in front of my children. Reasons to move across the country 101. Then, no talkee to Mommy until she can play nice. And MIL doesn't get the kids alone EVER if she can't abide by your rules. As for the lying and crying - you do that, you aren't welcome in my home and we won't ever come to yours. You want to see the grands, you act like a flipping sane, mature adult. Boundaries are hard and boundaries can sometimes fracture relationships. But, honestly, if they're treating you in that kind of manner to begin with, it's so toxic that it's already fractured. We had to put up some boundaries with my MIL. She knew that if it continued, we would not visit her and she wouldn't be welcome in our home. It finally stopped. It was hard, but we got our result. It's hard, Slache, and your MIL is a piece of work, so I can only imagine how hard it is. Stick to your guns. It pays off eventually. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 I have a strong suspicion I will be doing all the things, so I'm trying to plan it that way. I'll just be pleasantly surprised if it works out the rosy way. I won't have to remind you, because you're not going to get rejected. Ever. Or they'll have us to deal with. :001_wub: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Southern Ivy Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 When you say no and someone says they don't accept that, you tell them they don't have the iption. No means no. No is a complete sentence. They don't have the right to disrespect your no. If they do, they are excusing themselves from participation in your family. It's a matter of safety for your kids. They need to know how to do it, so you have to learn. I'm not really hard nosed, I just have really dysfunctional family, too. We don't talk to DH's parents or sister, and my folks are on an arm's length. You said so much more eloquently than I did. But, I fully agree - it's a safety matter for the kids. And, if one boundary isn't respected, more will follow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TN Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 Ouch. Slache, I am so much older than you and I am still learning this. Sometimes my kids are horrified that I would have certain reactions to circumstances, but I am learning that they need to know they can handle difficult, messy situations and nobody is going to die over it. Not yet, anyway. :D 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Another Lynn Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 (((Slache))) (((Bookie))) Happy Birthday Ikslo Jr!!! :party: :party: :party: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 (edited) On an unrelated note I've recently come to the conclusion that I'm a spoiled brat (slothful) and need to be more disciplined. I do not care for this revelation. I'd seek a second opinion on that. ETA: It's a friends-don't-let-friends-do-negative-self-talk Booyah! Even if they don't H. :D Edited November 11, 2017 by Critterfixer 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 Then, no talkee to Mommy until she can play nice. And MIL doesn't get the kids alone EVER if she can't abide by your rules. She won't. As for the lying and crying - you do that, you aren't welcome in my home and we won't ever come to yours. But it hurts her feelings. You want to see the grands, you act like a flipping sane, mature adult. She is a mature adult; I'm not. Boundaries are hard and boundaries can sometimes fracture relationships. But, honestly, if they're treating you in that kind of manner to begin with, it's so toxic that it's already fractured. We had to put up some boundaries with my MIL. She knew that if it continued, we would not visit her and she wouldn't be welcome in our home. It finally stopped. It was hard, but we got our result. It's hard, Slache, and your MIL is a piece of work, so I can only imagine how hard it is. Stick to your guns. It pays off eventually. People don't act like this in real life. This is a TV show thing. I have always been a let's get along or you can go away person. I'm not used to this! I'd seek a second opinion on that. ETA: It's a friends-don't-let-friends-do-negative-self-talk Booyah! Even if they don't H. :D I didn't mean to be negative. I am positive that I am too lazy and need to be more disciplined. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 On the other side we are not denying this woman her grandchildren. She has a camper on a campground and Matt and the kids will spend probably two weeks every year there, she'll be at our place on Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I'm sure they'll be more. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 After my little tangent on my broken childhood I want to share something I learned recently. There is a Japanese art form called kintsugi in which you would use gold to repair broken pottery, thereby making something more valuable once it's been broken. This is why my member title is repaired with gold. I just found the idea behind it lovely. I was broken but God loved me so much he chose to fix me with something precious, making me precious in the process. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 People don't act like this in real life. This is a TV show thing. I have always been a let's get along or you can go away person. I'm not used to this! I didn't mean to be negative. I am positive that I am too lazy and need to be more disciplined. Mature adults don't cry to get their way. Mature adults realize that parents are in charge of their own children and their own choices. Mature adults realize that they are in charge of their own financial and other decisions. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 I am almost at 20K for my NaNoWriMo project. I could edit tonight, but between writing and drawing, I'm kind of tapped out creatively. I think I'm going to get a hot, soaky bath, and then read for a while. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 Dd13 just finished another baby quilt. :thumbup1: A few weeks ago she made two quilts for twins who were being born to a family in our church. After the shower, the mom-to-be's SiL told dd13 that she wanted a quilt, too. I thought that she was joking. We found out two weeks ago that she and her husband are adopting soon! Her shower is this weekend. And, of course, dd13 made a quilt for the shower we went to last week (for her aunt). I'm guessing that dd13's fingers are tired since she complete this new quilt in a week! (Each quilt is nine squares, all hand-stitched.) 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TN Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 After my little tangent on my broken childhood I want to share something I learned recently. There is a Japanese art form called kintsugi in which you would use gold to repair broken pottery, thereby making something more valuable once it's been broken. This is why my member title is repaired with gold. I just found the idea behind it lovely. I was broken but God loved me so much he chose to fix me with something precious, making me precious in the process. That's beautiful. Now dh is wondering why I'm crying over ITT. It's because :wub: 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 Junie, does she sell the quilts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TN Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 Dd13 just finished another baby quilt. :thumbup1: A few weeks ago she made two quilts for twins who were being born to a family in our church. After the shower, the mom-to-be's SiL told dd13 that she wanted a quilt, too. I thought that she was joking. We found out two weeks ago that she and her husband are adopting soon! Her shower is this weekend. And, of course, dd13 made a quilt for the shower we went to last week (for her aunt). I'm guessing that dd13's fingers are tired since she complete this new quilt in a week! (Each quilt is nine squares, all hand-stitched.) :hurray: I tried to quilt once. It wasn't pretty. :D 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 Junie, does she sell the quilts? Not yet, but maybe someday. :) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 My oven door is falling off. Sigh. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 Dd11 just brought me a pair of doll tights that had a know tied in them. She said that dd9 was the last person to have them and she didn't know how the knot happened. I told her that sneezing causes knots to magically appear in tights. Dd7 asked, "Really?" :lol: 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 My oven door is falling off. Sigh. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Duct tape. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 Not yet, but maybe someday. :) :thumbup1: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 I make cheesecake in my oven. I hope my oven door never falls off. :sad: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 I have been babying this stove and oven for the past 20 years. I have two working burners. I have no broiler function in the oven. But Ds thinks he might be able to fix the door. [emoji7]. We have no money for a new stove/ oven. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 Duct tape. The heat proof kind, that they use on actual heating ducts 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 I have been babying this stove and oven for the past 20 years. I have two working burners. I have no broiler function in the oven. But Ds thinks he might be able to fix the door. [emoji7]. We have no money for a new stove/ oven. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk If everything goes, know that an induction burner is about $40 and it's about the same at Costco for a teeny convection oven that accommodates a casserole dish. They are $60 on amazon: https://www.amazon.com/BLACK-DECKER-Countertop-Convection-CTO6335S/dp/B0043E6PLC/ref=zg_bs_289934_3?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=DR9YHF3PDBB6EVNCTG32 $100 is better than a $1000, but I know it isn't $5 like duct tape. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 I have been babying this stove and oven for the past 20 years. I have two working burners. I have no broiler function in the oven. But Ds thinks he might be able to fix the door. [emoji7]. We have no money for a new stove/ oven. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk He should after you spent all of your oven money on his teeth! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 King's On Writing is good. I'm through the third forward and still laughing. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 King's On Writing is good. I'm through the third forward and still laughing.I don't know anything, but isn't he a bad writer? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 If everything goes, know that an induction burner is about $40 and it's about the same at Costco for a teeny convection oven that accommodates a casserole dish. They are $60 on amazon: https://www.amazon.com/BLACK-DECKER-Countertop-Convection-CTO6335S/dp/B0043E6PLC/ref=zg_bs_289934_3?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=DR9YHF3PDBB6EVNCTG32 $100 is better than a $1000, but I know it isn't $5 like duct tape. I have an induction burner. And a crockpot and a rice cooker and a toaster oven. We have been trying to save up for a kitchen remodel for 20 years. I would need an alternate kitchen while we worked on it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 When I bite into a York Peppermint Pattie... I think of home. :) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TN Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 I made the delicous chocolate sauce (for Sunday's birthday cheesecake) and it is taking quite a bit of willpower to keep from going into the kitchen and eating it all up with a spoon. Such chocolatey, gooey goodness! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 I made the delicous chocolate sauce (for Sunday's birthday cheesecake) and it is taking quite a bit of willpower to keep from going into the kitchen and eating it all up with a spoon. Such chocolatey, gooey goodness! :drool5: :drool5: :drool5: :drool5: :drool5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 I found a theology quiz John made for Mary. Is God always good? Are we good? Is Satan good? Is Nemo good? :lol: 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TN Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 I assume he was referring to Captain Nemo? :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 I think I should teach Mary how to quilt some day. I've considered a bead kit or loom for her 5th birthday. She's not a talkative gal or into pen and paper. She's very quiet and enjoys her solitude. I think she could be rather crafty. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 I assume he was referring to Captain Nemo? :)Nope. He actually drew the fish on it. And a unicorn though there were no questions regarding unicorns. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 I don’t like York Peppermint Patties. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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