Pajama Mama Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 My 9yos, who is a special needs child, had surgery yesterday. He had chronic TMJ so he had surgery yesterday. We stayed overnight and left this afternoon. So...I'm pushing my clearly sick child in his wheelchair towards the hospital entrance. A family group of about 6 people are blocking the area before entrance. They are just gabbing away. I have several bags I'm carrying plus I'm pushing the chair. I say "Excuse me" numerous times. I first say it softer and I get louder each time. I see a few people look at me but they don't move. So I pushed past them and the balloons on my son's chair hit them in the head:) Hey-they deserved it. Why are people so ignorant? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Bear Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 I dunno. I think people just can't possibly imagine themselves in your shoes, so they don't. It's kind of a question of wavelengths, I think. Things that people just don't notice or appreciate, KWIM? I know since my SN kiddo arrived all *kinds* of stuff shows up differently on my radar -- even things that have nothing to do with me or mine. It's like having your baseline reset: suddenly and forevermore, all expectations are altered, ergo all things in the world are viewed differently. At least that's how it mostly is for me. :grouphug: How's he doing since the surgery? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jensway Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 I don't have a good answer for you. I call it the oblivion zone. I tell my son that he must be aware of what's happening around him as not to go over into the oblivion zone. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Buckin' Longhorn Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 My 9yos, who is a special needs child, had surgery yesterday. He had chronic TMJ so he had surgery yesterday. We stayed overnight and left this afternoon. So...I'm pushing my clearly sick child in his wheelchair towards the hospital entrance. A family group of about 6 people are blocking the area before entrance. They are just gabbing away. I have several bags I'm carrying plus I'm pushing the chair. I say "Excuse me" numerous times. I first say it softer and I get louder each time. I see a few people look at me but they don't move. So I pushed past them and the balloons on my son's chair hit them in the head:) Hey-they deserved it. Why are people so ignorant? I haven't had that exact thing happen to me, but when people are so clearly oblivious . . . such as when I need someone to hold the door because I have a hundred things in my hand or something like that . . . I struggle through it and then I say very loudly "Thank you so much for your help; I can really tell you were raised with good old Southern Manners." I make sure to say it extra syrupy sweet so as not to be thought rude. I usually get "Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't even notice!" Whatever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
specialmama Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 I agree. Those who have not experienced a special munchkin have blinders on... not that it's their fault because I once had blinders on too... so I don't think it's done in conscious ignorance, I think it's just one of those things. You know, you buy a Honda Civic and all of a sudden you notice that everyone has a Honda Civic... or you're aching for another baby and all of a sudden there's a baby boom all around you. That kinda thing. We are more sympathetic to the everyday little challenges that families like ours have, because we live it. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 It is just rude to stand in the way of someone trying push a discharged patient and belongs out of the hospital. Whether or not the person is special needs you should not stand in the way. It's just rude behavior. I think people are just ruder now. I have special needs child and there are certainly things that people don't just get. I understood these issues because I had work experience with special populations before I married and had children myself, but most people don't have experiences that help them "get" the situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in IL Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 It is just rude to stand in the way of someone trying push a discharged patient and belongs out of the hospital. Whether or not the person is special needs you should not stand in the way. It's just rude behavior. I think people are just ruder now. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OHGrandma Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 I've gotten to the point where I just state my need, "I need to get through the door you are blocking". Or, "Could you get the door for me?" Then I thank them, because I don't recall anyone ignoring a direct statement or request for help. I'm sorry you had a tough time of it, Pajama Mama. Chalk it up to they were so absorbed in themselves they failed to extend any common courtesy, and the ones who did look at you were probably admiring your fortitude and failed to see your need. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athena1277 Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 People like that are so rude! But there are also lots of others who do help. Many, many times I have had people hold doors for me, especially when they see me holding a toddler, dragging a K'er, and carrying stuff. I always make sure to thank them. I really appreciate that small bit of help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 I wonder too. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 (edited) My 9yos, who is a special needs child, had surgery yesterday. He had chronic TMJ so he had surgery yesterday. We stayed overnight and left this afternoon. So...I'm pushing my clearly sick child in his wheelchair towards the hospital entrance. A family group of about 6 people are blocking the area before entrance. They are just gabbing away. I have several bags I'm carrying plus I'm pushing the chair. I say "Excuse me" numerous times. I first say it softer and I get louder each time. I see a few people look at me but they don't move. So I pushed past them and the balloons on my son's chair hit them in the head:) Hey-they deserved it. Why are people so ignorant? Ugh, I hate that too. I think people are just so self absorbed that they literally don't even notice anyone else around them. I remember going to the bakery when my daughter was just an infant, maybe 5-6 months old. I was walking up to the bakery door with my baby in my arms. There was an elderly couple ahead of me walking in to the bakery. The man held open the door for his wife and he saw me walking up behind her because I made eye contact with him. His wife walked through the door, he walked through the door after her and then let the door slam on me and my baby. I was furious!!! It took everything in me to not make a scene in that bakery. Who does that? Slams a door on an infant?? :angry: Edited April 24, 2009 by Ibbygirl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janet in WA Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 (edited) Well, I guess it's possible, since they're in a hospital too, that something is going on in their lives (and the life of a loved one) that might be causing them to behave in ways they wouldn't otherwise. Edited April 23, 2009 by Janet in WA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted April 24, 2009 Share Posted April 24, 2009 I've gotten to the point where I just state my need, "I need to get through the door you are blocking". Or, "Could you get the door for me?" Then I thank them, because I don't recall anyone ignoring a direct statement or request for help. I was commuting by bus or Tube and healthy young people would try not to look me in the eye so as not to have to give up their seats. I would say directly to my chosen victim, "I'm sorry but I'm [X] months pregnant and prone to fainting; could I sit down please?" No one ever refused and I was effusive in my thanks. I told my sister-in-law about my tactic and she was mortified on my behalf - she thought that this was such an embarrassing thing to do. I must just be thick skinned: if I had a need like that again (sick child, etc.) I'd have no qualms about being just that direct. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted April 24, 2009 Share Posted April 24, 2009 That was so rude of them! :( BTW, let me know how your son's surgery helps with his TMJ. I have terrible TMJ and had never thought of surgery (actually didn't know it was available). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pajama Mama Posted April 24, 2009 Author Share Posted April 24, 2009 Well, I guess it's possible, since they're in a hospital too, that something is going on in their lives (and the life of a loved one) that might be causing them to behave in ways they wouldn't otherwise. I know. That's why I was trying to be polite. But after the third time(which was loud) 2 of them looked at me and just looked away. My arms were killing me. I was carrying 2 bags in my left hand and pushing the chair with my right. I said more than just "excuse me" It was something like- "Excuse me- We can't fit through" The next time I was trying to joke and said loudly- "I drive poorly with only one hand- you guys need to move back" The last time- "I asked you folks to move please" They paused each time I said something but didn't acknowledge me. After that, I just pushed through and beaned them with my son's balloons. They were mad but come on- you can't just part for 20 seconds. My son's home now and feeling better. That's all I care about:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted April 24, 2009 Share Posted April 24, 2009 My Navy vocabulary probably would have come flooding back. "Gang way!" and "Make a hole!" are very useful phrases. If people are going to be rude, I have no qualms about stepping on or running over toes if raising my voice doesn't help. Manners are wasted on some people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandellie4 Posted April 24, 2009 Share Posted April 24, 2009 I'm sorry they were so rude. I am irritated by this kind of behavior whenever I go to any store (Costco, etc.). Must be nice to be the only person in the world. Glad your wee one's feeling better (and you, too)! Sandy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pajama Mama Posted April 24, 2009 Author Share Posted April 24, 2009 That was so rude of them! :( BTW, let me know how your son's surgery helps with his TMJ. I have terrible TMJ and had never thought of surgery (actually didn't know it was available). I can fill you in later if the TMJ surgery works. It's too soon to tell now. The procedure was that the doc filed down the upper part of the jaw bone. The upper jaw has a curve in it. That's what my son's lower jaw was getting caught on. Now, there is no curve for the lower jaw to catch on. The doc would have done a more comprehensive procedure if he thought straightening the jaw wasn't enough. They would have added a bone graft to each side and then screw a L-shaped piece on the bone. That would have acted as a hinge. It would have allowed him to open his mouth only so far. He would not have been able to open his mouth really wide. But while my son was asleep in the OR, the doc opened and closed ds's jaw after the filing was done. He felt that it was enough and didn't need to have ds endure an extra 3 hours of surgery. I can let you know how he's doing in a few weeks. Hopefully, the TMJ is gone for him. It was horrible to see him in such pain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BalanceSeeker Posted April 24, 2009 Share Posted April 24, 2009 I've gotten to the point where I just state my need, "I need to get through the door you are blocking". Or, "Could you get the door for me?" Then I thank them, because I don't recall anyone ignoring a direct statement or request for help. I'm sorry you had a tough time of it, Pajama Mama. Chalk it up to they were so absorbed in themselves they failed to extend any common courtesy, and the ones who did look at you were probably admiring your fortitude and failed to see your need. :iagree: I don't have a special needs child, but living in Scottsdale, self-absorption isn't a rare encounter. Entrances are blocked all the time!!! I simply say/wave "HELLO?!?!?!?" or whatever I need to do in order to get their attention, then tell them what I need for them to do so that I can enter the building or whatever it may be. 98% of people have the "Oh! Sorry!" response...others...well, what else can we say about others. Christa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhondabee Posted April 24, 2009 Share Posted April 24, 2009 I think this is the healthiest way to deal with it! That way, it's over and done, you get what you need, and you don't go home and fume about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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