Need advice- Husband working at home for 3 months.

[Lux Et Veritas Academy]

I love my husband- He is awesome. He is going to be working on a project at home for 3 months. How do I survive this with homeschooling? We have a routine and a thing going here. I am happy to see him more, but after having him gone so much, it is strange having him around so much and honestly I need ideas on how to make this go smooth. The first couple of days have been rough. HELP

[abbeyej]

Oh, that's tough. 'Cause honestly, that's about how long it took us to get *used* to having dh at home when he quit a job where he worked *constantly* (60 hour weeks were the norm, 80 not unusual, and we actually had some 100 hour weeks where I just took him a toothbrush and a change of clothes at the office, lol), and was suddenly working at home full time.

 

I love him very, very much, but it was a tough transition!

 

Now he's a professor and works at home much of the time, and goes into school something between 2 and 5 days a week. And travels. We're just used to it.

 

But going from never having him around during the week to around full time, was challenging...

 

I'd start with trying to establish some boundaries. Where will he work during the day? Does he want the door shut and not to know there's anyone else in the house, or is he likely to get lonely and come wander the house from time to time just in search of human voices? Let him know what your schedule/routine is for schooling, and when his coming out would be disruptive for the kids. (It's easy to get into the mode of "If Daddy's home, it must be Saturday"...)

 

Think about lunches. If you make something super-simple for you and the kids each day, is that going to be satisfactory to him? Or does he imagine that he'll get two full meals like dinner every day? If he needs a break from working in the middle of the day, maybe *he* could take over lunch preparations or clean-up...

 

Also, if you're really going crazy, consider whether there are places that you could take the kids during the day to work on their school work. The library, or a patio of a museum where you have a membership, etc.

 

But go ahead and establish ground rules for work time and play time -- for dad *and* kids -- so they know when not to disturb each other, and when it's reasonable to get some good quality visiting in.

 

And last, it really *is* just for three months. If the kids get a little less schoolwork done, but they get to spend more time around their dad, then that's fantastic. Try not to fret too much, and if it means that a few core subjects extend through the summer (when it's sometimes too hot and stormy to be outside anyway), then that's not the end of the world...

[JFSinIL]

Maybe encourage him to take the kids for a long afternoon walk each day...he will need a break from work and fresh air is good for him. That way YOU can get something done....... if he balks, point out that HE is entering YOUR school space/time. How would he have felt if you all had shown up at his workplace for three months to do school? You BOTH need to adapt to make this work.

 

Maybe he could take one kid a week OUT to lunch as a special Dad/Kid time as long as he is home for a few months.

 

Find some cheap and easy way to have something special like the above part of the new routine for this brief time of Dad Works At Home. Take advance of the chance to make it special for the kids w/o using up much of his work time. Also - maybe plan some schoolwork time at the local library, too - esp. if he can let you know in advance if he has a phone meeting or ??? and needs absolute quiet.

 

Three months will be gone before you know it.

[lynn]

I love my husband- He is awesome. He is going to be working on a project at home for 3 months. How do I survive this with homeschooling? We have a routine and a thing going here. I am happy to see him more, but after having him gone so much, it is strange having him around so much and honestly I need ideas on how to make this go smooth. The first couple of days have been rough. HELP

 

 

Define rough. Rough as in he's home and you can't relax. He's in the way of your routine? Kids won't settle down because daddy's home?

 

When my dh is home I get my house work that needs to done around his work area first. He breaks to have lunch with us and we all go for a walk either late morning or afternoon. I work the kids schedule to dh. He lets me know when he has a conference call or when he'll be on the phone so we adjust our schedule accordingly. He does not mind the kids chatting with him or dd coloring or playing in the office with him there. It has worked out well. You'll figure it out soon enough and the kids will get use to having him home.

[melissel]

Oh, that's tough. 'Cause honestly, that's about how long it took us to get *used* to having dh at home when he quit a job where he worked *constantly* (60 hour weeks were the norm, 80 not unusual, and we actually had some 100 hour weeks where I just took him a toothbrush and a change of clothes at the office, lol), and was suddenly working at home full time.

 

I was going to say the same thing. I work from home, and I'm STILL disciplining myself and making constant adjustments. Abbey's post was great. The main thing is that you two need to have a discussion about what each of you needs, make some ground rules, and stick to them. If him wandering out and distracting the kids is going to be a problem, he should know that. If he's going to need to be locked in his office and the kids can't bother him, you MUST actively keep them away from him. I can't tell you how it drives me bonkers when DH allows the bored kids to wander downstairs to where I'm working because they miss me, and insists that I be the one to tell them they have to go away. Sure, try forcing a tired, bored 3-year-old out of her mommy's office without a full-blown tantrum and a very ticked off mommy!

 

Basically, communication of needs is key here. It won't be perfect, but you'll figure it out, and then it will be over.

[Jennifer in NH]

When my dh is home the kids and i do not, in all honesty get as much work done. That being said, once I got over my routine being interrupted, I realized that his being home is a wonderful blessing. (On occasion I can even run a few errands and not take the kids).

 

So, Dh works from home during bad weather ( the ice storm in december he was home for over a week). Mostly he works from home maybe 4 days a month.

 

okay, when he does not want to be disturbed, or when I need the kids to really focus..one of us shuts the office door. The kids know NOT to open it and go in. We also usually have to move some of our lessons upstairs to the largest bedroom. There is a chair in there where i do read alouds and there is a desk for the kids to do math or other workbooks. We move up there so we can be a bit noisier. The rooms we normally hold lessons in are very close to our home office.

I arranged our lunchtime so that we can all eat together.

Part of his day he usually finds some home project to complete outside, so the kids go with him...they may not be doing schoolwork, but they are with their dad.

 

I imagine if he worked from home all the time, we would settle into a normal routine after a few weeks or so.

 

As of right now, when he does work from home, I let him know what we are doing that day, and I make sure to find out when his important conference calls are. This is the time we are quiet...upstairs or outside.

 

Good luck to you!

[Nestof3]

This happens to us every winter. My husband's season almost completely halts, though, so he has much leisure time then. For me, some of the bigger adjustments are:

 

interruptions from someone I'm not used to needing me during the day

having to make more food at lunch time -- usually not as light

my bitterness toward his abundant free-time

he wants to watch a movie in the living area during school time

 

 

Note: we have had so many projects this winter, that he hasn't had any down-time at all. I, therefore, have not had the emotional issues -- just the food and interruptions.

 

I also like to ease into my day with a cup of coffee and computer time in solitude. He's a get-up-and-go person who talks a lot as soon as he's up. I just have to tell him to give me time in the morning. He usually naps during the day to get his second wind, whereas I keep on going. We have tension if he wants to dive right into work first thing. I like to work once I've had my shower and all. Once I'm deep in the heart of work, he's ready for a siesta. LOL

[happyWImom]

Honey, I am still trying to get used to it, and dh has been working from home for over a year now!!! He used to travel every couple of weeks, but because of the economy the travel has been only in emergency's. (and there haven't been any) And, while he is here, he doesn't actually work that much. Makes a few calls, sends some emails, that's it. It's like he is retired.:w00t: Retired would be great, if we had money to travel, and things like that. And, we are all driving each other crazy. Not to make you nervous or anything.:D

 

Hopefully, your situation will be different than mine. The biggest thing is having someone else there that questions what you're doing-it's like having the boss around all of the time or something. Somebody in your space. Okay, deep breath.

 

But, on the bright side, it does have some advantages. We have gone on more field trips than we usually would, I also have him do the stuff that I'm not good at, like crafts and science experiments. And, the other day, when the dc were totally crabby and I couldn't take it anymore, I had him take them to gymnastics. Also, he's usually the one that goes outside with them. Especially when it's coooold out.:001_smile: So try to get your dh involved however you can. Also, take advantage of it, and take some time for yourself. (I'm still working on that part)

 

My dh has a trade show this weekend, and for the first time in months, is going to be gone for 3 days:party::party::party:

[Lux Et Veritas Academy]

Define rough. Rough as in he's home and you can't relax. He's in the way of your routine? Kids won't settle down because daddy's home?

 

Exactly the balance is off, routine is off and he is in and out, up and down constantly doing his thing- but it disrupts the flow we have going.

[Lux Et Veritas Academy]

This happens to us every winter. My husband's season almost completely halts, though, so he has much leisure time then. For me, some of the bigger adjustments are:

 

I agree- I love my down time and now I have big brother watching over me!

[KidsHappen]

Oh yes, this is difficult. My schedule always crashes and burns when hubby is home. Theoretically it should work fine because I have an office upstairs and he has an office downstairs but somehow it never does. He is an early morning person so he gets up and gets most of his work done early and then is ready for my time in the afternoons. We school afternoons and then I am a late night person. Luckily, he is only home for a week at a time every now and then. I don't think that I could do it long term. There are some good things though. He gets up and gets the one PSer off to school and then does the dishes before starting work and then sometimes runs errands or makes dinner. I love all of that but unfortunately the school schedule suffers. It will be better for us next year as the youngest will also be going to school and the oldest teen will be out of the house. That will leave only one teen at home and she works independantly in her room.

[The Girls' Mom]

My dh works at home. Fortunately he has his own office that isn't near us..lol. But he still wanders through several times a day. What has helped for us is establishing work time, and school time. Then we try to stay out of each others hair during those times as much as possible.

[WTMCassandra]

Separate room. With a door. Preferably far away from the schooling area!

 

When my DH worked from home (for four years, and now occasionally), he would shut the door to his office when school began and not come out until lunch. He would eat lunch with the children and read aloud to them, thus giving me a 30-minute break, and then he would return to his office and not come out until 4pm.

 

This saved everyone's sanity. I did have the right to go into his office if I really needed to speak to The Principal. ; ) And this was in a typical split-level home--not huge amounts of space. He took the bedroom at the end of the hall and we schooled in the dining room, so it worked OK. In this house, which is much bigger, his office is upstairs and we are downstairs, so that's wonderful.

[coralloyd]

My dh works at home. Has for 6 years of, our 9 years of marriage.

First, we have defined spaces. His is his office, I have the rest of the house ;). The kids know that if daddy has the door closed, they are not to go in. If the door is open they may go ask something, then leave. If he wants to walk around while on the phone, he goes outside. He gets his own lunch, since the kids and I don't eat till around 1. He starts work between 8:00-9:00 and goes till 6:00 (when I call him for dinner). Sometimes he leaves for a meetings here and there, but most of the time he's home. It works very well for us this way.