My 3 year old says he wants to go to Kindergarten

[Ellyndria]

He's said several times now that he wants to go to kindergarten and go on field trips. I've asked him why he wants to go, he only says, "I just do."

 

I have never talked about kindergarten, or really school for that matter, with him. I think he heard about kindergarten from tv (let's not even go there).

 

So far I have diffused it with things like, "You're not old enough for kindergarten," although then he just wants to know how old and when he can go.

 

It's making me doubt the homeschool thing of course. I think he would really like preschool and kindergarten. We never really thought of homeschooling until this year (and DH is on board). Previously, before homeschooling even entered into the radar, DH and I had agreed on public school. We both went to public school, and overall I would say it was a positive experience for me... but I was also a good student, the teachers always liked me, and I never had *too* much peer trouble. Yeah, there was some, and yeah, sometimes I felt like my time was being wasted in high school...but I always looked forward to the end of summer and the start of a new school year (yeah I'm weird like that). My parents didn't have a lot of money and I feel like I had a lot of experiences through school that I wouldn't have been able to have otherwise.

 

So there's my doubt. I feel like we will be robbing him of some fun times if he doesn't go to preschool or kindergarten. I know kindergarten isn't the same anymore. I went to half-day kindergarten, and we had show-and-tell, art, music, playtime, we played games like musical chairs, etc.. not much academics. I know kindergarten is different these days, and all the kindergartens around here are full-day only. I do NOT agree with the idea of full day kindergarten, I feel very strongly about that.

 

I just don't know what to do when he says he wants to go to kindergarten. Do I continue to try to diffuse it? Or should we play kindergarten? I'm not even sure how I would go about playing that.

 

What about field trips? He has been to the zoo and science museum a LOT (we have memberships), should I just start calling it field trips when we go? It's just something that we do anyway, I've never thought of it as a field trip.

[Lolly]

Mine wanted to go so they could ride the school bus. They got over it. What they didn't know is there was no way I was letting them ride that bus anyway. I have driven behind it and seen what goes on inside. Never in a million years was one of my kids going to be on it.

 

Yes, start calling your trips field trips. You can always join a co-op that takes field trips together if this is a big issue for him.

[Quiver0f10]

Well if he asked for a bottle of coke and bag of chips for breakfast would you give it to him? Of course not (welll maybe, but probably not :D). Kids don't always know whats good for them and we adults need to make the choices that we believe are in their best interest.

 

Tell him why you have made the choice you have and that is your descison. You can have LOTS of fun in preschool and K without going to the school down the road. Go on field trips, take nature walks, do art, go to the library story hour, go to the zoo, museum, art gallery etc and keep any seat work to a minimum. He will be having so much fun he will forget there is a "real" school :)

[Pamela H in Texas]

Okay, face it. Kids ARE missing out on some things, positive and negative, if they don't go to school. If they DO go to school, they are also missing out on some things, positive and negative. It's just how it is. Adults have the same situation. So you may as well get over feeling odd about it because either way, your kid is going to be deprived of something.

 

So we parents weigh out all our options and pick the ones that work best for our individual children and our families. One way to feel better about a choice is to research your options more so your choice is more solidified in your mind. I highly suggest that. You'll be more convicted of your choice with more information. Or possibly you'll change your mind and feel better about that. Information is power :)

 

And like Jean said, kids don't know what is best for them. They can't do research (or at least not much at 3yrs old). They can't have 20-50 years experience. So we make choices for them. We don't let them eat chips and soda for breakfast. We don't allow them to play in a busy road. We decide where and how their schooling will be done. Such is life :)

[Ellyndria]

Tell him why you have made the choice you have and that is your descison. You can have LOTS of fun in preschool and K without going to the school down the road. Go on field trips, take nature walks, do art, go to the library story hour, go to the zoo, museum, art gallery etc and keep any seat work to a minimum. He will be having so much fun he will forget there is a "real" school :)

 

I don't think he even understands what "going to kindergarten" really entails...as in going to some other building all day every day, etc. (And no I had never ever thought of letting him ride a school bus even if he did go to school.)

 

So that's why I'm wondering...should I figure out some way to "play" kindergarten with him? Something fun, yet kinda artificial, like "playing restaurant" is or whatever? Or should I just call the activities quoted above kindergarten? Cause right now those activities don't have a name other than what they actually are (storytime, zoo, museum, etc).

 

He just got an Art Table a week ago as a present (which I LOVE for him), and he has used it every day so far to color or play games or whatever. I plan on doing a more organized art activity at least once a week at his art table... should I just call it "kindergarten art" rather than just "art?" It just all seems kinda crazy to me, because I plan on using the book Preschool Art for ideas. Preschool. He's preschool age, not kindergarten age.

 

I guess I just want to find some way to satisfy this "kindergarten" curiosity for him...or should I just continue to diffuse it by saying he's not old enough for K, and not call anything kindergarten until we actually start doing K at home in a couple more years? Maybe I should start calling these activities "preschool" instead. Maybe that would work? I don't know.

[Pamela H in Texas]

*I* wouldn't go to all sorts of odd lengths to name things preschool now (and later Kindergarten), but I don't think there is anything WRONG in doing so.

 

I personally wouldn't feed into it. Just leave it at that he's not old enough for kindergarten. And then we'd start talking about snow or cooking supper or whatever.

[Jeannie in NJ]

yes, call what he is doing now "preschool", field trips, etc and in a couple of years you could have him "graduate" out of your preschool , buy him something special for your kindergarten and have him start kindergarten at your house, maybe make it a semi-big day

[Karenciavo]

Why do you want to homeschool? That's a question to ask yourself, you don't have to tell me. There may be many times when you doubt your decision to homeschool, it's helpful to know why you want to so when the times get tough you can remind yourself or see if those reasons still apply.

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

So there's my doubt. I feel like we will be robbing him of some fun times if he doesn't go to preschool or kindergarten. I know kindergarten isn't the same anymore. I went to half-day kindergarten, and we had show-and-tell, art, music, playtime, we played games like musical chairs, etc.. not much academics. I know kindergarten is different these days, and all the kindergartens around here are full-day only. I do NOT agree with the idea of full day kindergarten, I feel very strongly about that.

 

 

 

He's three. He doesn't know what's good for him. You do. Don't sweat it.

 

For us, traditional kindergarten attendance is important. Ds went to half day, both girls to full day, and they all went (or are currently going ;-D)to play and do show and tell and music and art and act like little wild hoodlems (in a good way, lol) on the playground with their kindergarten buddies. Never for academics -- mostly because I don't believe in K for academics, though I start academic learning at home as early as the child is receptive.

 

This is the right and best thing for OUR family, but it was a choice made by the adults in the family. Not by the children.

[Quiver0f10]

yes, call what he is doing now "preschool", field trips, etc and in a couple of years you could have him "graduate" out of your preschool , buy him something special for your kindergarten and have him start kindergarten at your house, maybe make it a semi-big day

 

Yep! Tell him he is IN preschool then have a celebration that now he in K. Make it fun fun fun.

[Ellie]

*I* wouldn't go to all sorts of odd lengths to name things preschool now (and later Kindergarten), but I don't think there is anything WRONG in doing so.

 

I personally wouldn't feed into it. Just leave it at that he's not old enough for kindergarten. And then we'd start talking about snow or cooking supper or whatever.

:iagree:

[Alice]

I think kids at that age just latch on to words that sound funny or interesting or to someone talking about something like kindergarten. It sounds kind of fun...maybe he overheard someone talking about it or it was in a book or a video or something. Or maybe he knows it's for older kids and is saying he wants to be older.

 

I know it's hard as a parent not to hear it as him saying he prefers kindergarten to homeschool. But he doesn't really know what kindergarten is. At about that age my son saw a daycare center and decided he wanted to go to daycare. This was a child who wouldn't ever go anywhere without me or dh or a family member. I asked him if he wanted to go without me or Daddy. Yes, sure he said. Turned out he thought Grandma and Pop would be there. And he thought the playground looked fun. But he had no concept of going somewhere all day without anyone he knew. I first worried that he was saying that he wanted to be with kids his age more and that somehow I was depriving him. But I realized that I was way overthinking it. :) He was just saying "The playground looks fun, I'd like to go to that place."

 

Anyway, the point is that it may not be as big a thing to your son as it is to you. I'd probably just say something to show you hear him and move on.

[WTMindy]

I would say, "Oh, I know!! I can't wait until you start Kindergarten too. You are going to get to read and do math...it will be so much fun." Maybe he doesn't understand that he really is going to Kindergarten. And, sometimes kids want something so simple like riding the bus (I took my kids on a city bus ride a couple times) or a lunchbox (I got my kids a lunchbox). He really has no idea what he wants, but I would just talk up the pros of homeschooling.

[joannqn]

My daughter did the same thing she may have been four. She had a best friend who lived a couple blocks away who was a bit older and went to school without her. She also wanted to learn to read.

 

I had the same school experience you did. Mostly positive, some negative, some very negative, but overall positive.

 

My daughter is also very social. She's a true extrovert like I am. I worried about her missing the experience and social aspects. I still do sometimes and she's in the 4th grade now. It's so much easier to get phone numbers and know where the kids in your neighborhood live when you spend 6 1/2 hours a day in the classroom with them.

 

What I did was start kindergarten at home. I picked up some workbooks and started teaching her to read and do math. We did some art-type activities, went to the library and read lots of books, and took field trips to various places. She enjoyed it and quit talking about going to school. By the time she was old enough to enter kindergarten, she was reading and doing math at a 2nd grade level which is a big reason why she ended up being homeschooled indefinitely. If you asked her now about going to school, she'd be completely against the idea. She has no desire to spend 6 1/2 hour a day doing school.

 

She also clearly remembers being bullied in preschool. While there, she had play dough smashed into her hair, was kicked, and was punched in the stomach. That was over a very short time period...like a few weeks...with the staff doing nothing about it. She doesn't wish to revisit bullying and knows it goes on in school

[Suzanne in ABQ]

My 3yodd told me just yesterday that she wants a "blow-up, castle bouncy house" for Christmas. I told her, "No, you can't have that," and she just said, "Okay. Then, I want a big cup with flowers all around it."

 

3 year olds say all sorts of things. I wouldn't even give it a second thought.

[stripe]

My (young) kids talk all day long about what they are doing in school, and their teachers. It's all imaginary, even the school bus driver who is 6 years old. I am a bit sick of it, but I think they hear so much about school that it's inevitable.

[riada]

I would agree with those that have suggested you provide what he wants...at home. He is in pre-k and will graduate to K when appropriate. My little guys have enjoyed using Rod and Staff's preschool series or Kumon workbooks. It makes them feel special to have school books so when I say it is school time they get their book out. Mine enjoy a box filled with their school supplies. Puzzles and board games become school tools too.

 

We also have lunch boxes that we pack to take field trips, sometimes only to the park. My little ones enjoy trips to the library, grocery store, and anywhere. It's all about how you present it. If I get excited and say, "after school today we are going to take a field trip to the grocery store" they are beside themselves. They are eager learners at this point so enjoy it!