TexasProud Posted September 28, 2022 Author Share Posted September 28, 2022 7 minutes ago, itsheresomewhere said: Look for a moms group somewhat near you on there. They are very open about this and will be brutally honest how they felt about a therapist. I am not sure where you live, but NO ONE talks about therapy around here. I know absolutely no one that has gone. Mom's group? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted September 28, 2022 Share Posted September 28, 2022 2 hours ago, TexasProud said: Again, if God is not good and not in control, then I have no reason to continue living. Are you looking for God's permission for something? If God is good, then it is His will that you strive for health. Therefore you always have His permission to do that and never have permission not to, but he'll forgive you when you flail around not being healthy because you haven't figured out how yet because a) He is good and b) He created us to be imperfect anyway. Atheist diagnosis. (Not an official spokesperson, but hey, they say God works in mysterious ways so He probably makes use of atheists.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsheresomewhere Posted September 28, 2022 Share Posted September 28, 2022 (edited) 4 minutes ago, TexasProud said: I am not sure where you live, but NO ONE talks about therapy around here. I know absolutely no one that has gone. Mom's group? They have groups on Facebook for moms. Look for one near you. And yes, they talk about it on there. Even in the mental health is a fad areas. Because it is not face to face they get more comfortable talking about it. I am not sure where you are exactly, but I know there are a few wonderful groups in Texas who found a wonderful therapist for someone I was very close to there. You just have to look for them. Edited September 28, 2022 by itsheresomewhere Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TexasProud Posted September 28, 2022 Author Share Posted September 28, 2022 6 minutes ago, itsheresomewhere said: They have groups on Facebook for moms. Look for one near you. And yes, they talk about it on there. Even in the mental health is a fad areas. I am not sure where you are exactly, but I know there are a few wonderful groups in Texas who found a wonderful therapist for someone was very close to there. You just have to look for them. Ok, found one and used my anonymous Facebook account that I have. We shall see. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TexasProud Posted September 28, 2022 Author Share Posted September 28, 2022 Well, the group deleted my post, so I guess I will try a different one. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsheresomewhere Posted September 28, 2022 Share Posted September 28, 2022 Some groups if a questions has come up a lot, delete repeatedly asked questions. Use the search option and see if they have recommendations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TexasProud Posted September 28, 2022 Author Share Posted September 28, 2022 2 minutes ago, itsheresomewhere said: Some groups if a questions has come up a lot, delete repeatedly asked questions. Use the search option and see if they have recommendations. Ok, I did and no posts at all searching mental health, therapist, or counselor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frances Posted September 28, 2022 Share Posted September 28, 2022 39 minutes ago, TexasProud said: Again, if God is not good and not in control, then I have no reason to continue living. But why? Many people, including me, don’t believe in a Christian God who is good and in control, and we have lots of reasons to continue living, not the least of which are our family and friends. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted September 28, 2022 Share Posted September 28, 2022 2 hours ago, Murphy101 said: Okay. It seems my saying what I did struck some kind of nerve for you. We can disagree. Yes, we can disagree. That's what I was doing, disagreeing, lol. No nerve struck, I simply do not agree with what you said, and said so. Which is normal enough behavior on a discussion board. 31 minutes ago, TexasProud said: Again, if God is not good and not in control, then I have no reason to continue living. Is this a continuation of the thought that God should be guiding you to the correct decisions if you are "truly in the vine" with him? Because I think this would be a very good example of not having realistic standards for yourself. Many people who love God and do their best to be a good follower make poor decisions, all the time. Bad things happen to people, all the time. Sometimes there is no good decision to be had. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted September 28, 2022 Share Posted September 28, 2022 42 minutes ago, TexasProud said: Again, if God is not good and not in control, then I have no reason to continue living. 56 minutes ago, TexasProud said: But God should guide you to making the right decisions if you are truly in the vine with him. Does making the “right” decision mean that nobody ever suffers or struggles? I don’t think so. I’ve been reading Jeremiah. He did exactly what God asked him to do but the results were horrible. He was faithful. But things stil turned out badly. We do our best and sometimes things work out well. But there’s no guarantee that they will every time. So we trust that even in the horrific God is still working. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TexasProud Posted September 28, 2022 Author Share Posted September 28, 2022 So I did a general search on Facebook and found 4 posts over the last 3 years with 4-6 replies on each and most I have already called and they are full. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TexasProud Posted September 28, 2022 Author Share Posted September 28, 2022 7 minutes ago, fairfarmhand said: Does making the “right” decision mean that nobody ever suffers or struggles? I don’t think so. I’ve been reading Jeremiah. He did exactly what God asked him to do but the results were horrible. He was faithful. But things stil turned out badly. We do our best and sometimes things work out well. But there’s no guarantee that they will every time. So we trust that even in the horrific God is still working. LOL. No of course not. I have studied all of the Bible in depth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted September 28, 2022 Share Posted September 28, 2022 @Rosie_0801 I just love your wise perspective. Much appreciated. Thanks. 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted September 28, 2022 Share Posted September 28, 2022 1 hour ago, TexasProud said: LOL. No of course not. I have studied all of the Bible in depth. So you’ve gotta let go of the “It was my fault” and “I should’ve” you had no way of knowing how things would work. I get it that you’re sad and grieving but you are not God and you could not have known that things would escalate like they did. Leave it. Stop wallowing in that mess. You did the best you could with the information that you had. Your mama knows that. Especially now. I’m sure she’s so proud of how you handled it all. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted September 28, 2022 Share Posted September 28, 2022 @TexasProud I’ve read this whole thread and I really think you need a break from your servitude. You cannot be on call for so many people for decades and not need some real down time. You know how they tell new homeschoolers to de-school for a while? I feel like I want to put you in time out and force you to focus on yourself before you succumb to physically dangerous depression or clinical exhaustion. If you had a daughter or niece carrying this load, how would you advise them to proceed? If you were on the other side of this life, would you want a loved one beating themselves up over how you passed? You left multiple adults in charge of your mother. THEY messed up. You did not. What if you HAD stayed with your mother, given her her meds, seen her pass peacefully, but your husband got hit by a truck going on a coffee run? Would you then have guilt about staying? YOU cannot control everything. There’s a great element of chance in this life and none of us get through with zero regrets. You believe in a God who loves all his children. You are just as important as any other member of your family and you deserve to take care of yourself as well as you’ve taken care of everyone else. Would you want anyone neglecting a child of yours and running them ragged the way you’ve pushed yourself? I think you need to take the time to grieve your mother’s actual death and your expectation of how it should have gone. You cannot change the past. You have to let go and show yourself the kindness and grace you’ve shown everyone else. What do you like to do? How would you spend your time if nobody was around to pass judgement or make demands? Do you need time to escape the world and just be home for a few weeks with no obligations? Do you need to be on a beach with a book? Do you need a hike and to sleep under the stars? Do you need a group of wise friends to remind you that self-care is important and that you deserve it? What would happen if you sought out a counselor that wasn’t specifically trained to be a Christian Counselor? People suffer trauma in areas that Christian counselors are reluctant to touch. If you struggle with setting healthy boundaries with your husband or church they may be ill-equipped to arm you with real solutions. They’re probably not going to advise you to skip a missions trip to safeguard your own health. They’re not likely to identify and address any forms of spiritual abuse. If everything you are saying was coming from my daughter I would be very very worried about her and I’d hope she found some very real solutions and help before she got too tired and discouraged from looking. You seem to be running on fumes with nowhere to stop and recharge. It’s not sustainable. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted September 28, 2022 Share Posted September 28, 2022 1 day I dunno maybe meet with a priest and see the kids. my answer wouldn’t vary much but just whatever I had time for in the given time frame. I would tell immediate family so they would understand my sense of urgency to see them. I would need to explain it to xh so I could see the kids. Sit with the kids, play games or watch tv or bake. Take leave from work. I wouldn’t have any big events/locations in mind I think. Just time spent locally. I don’t think I’d bother traveling too far too see anyone. FaceTime some family. I’d do something like @Murphy101. Why bother going through journals? Just toss them if they’re so sensitive. I might watch Hallmark movies lol just basic stuff I like. If with the kids maybe something else we’d all enjoy. I’d probably go to Adoration. Schedule confession and the anointing of the sick/last rites. Eat yummy food. Cuddle the cat. Write letters to the kids? Take some photos. Buy some stuff for others? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TexasProud Posted September 28, 2022 Author Share Posted September 28, 2022 (edited) On 9/27/2022 at 10:54 PM, KungFuPanda said: What do you like to do? How would you spend your time if nobody was around to pass judgement or make demands? Do you need time to escape the world and just be home for a few weeks with no obligations? nm Edited September 29, 2022 by TexasProud 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted September 28, 2022 Share Posted September 28, 2022 @TexasProud is it out of the question to finish your internship? Are classes not meeting in person yet/did you lose the internship and can't sign up again? I wonder if you'd want to jump back into finishing if it was something you really enjoyed and will otherwise maybe dwell on other things. I'm glad you set up some boundaries, not being responsible for things. Yes, life throws us curve balls. Keep going, anyway. When you're ready. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TexasProud Posted September 29, 2022 Author Share Posted September 29, 2022 (edited) 23 hours ago, heartlikealion said: @TexasProud is it out of the question to finish your internship? Are classes not meeting in person yet/did you lose the internship and can't sign up again? I wonder if you'd want to jump back into finishing if it was something you really enjoyed and will otherwise maybe dwell on other things. I'm glad you set up some boundaries, not being responsible for things. Yes, life throws us curve balls. Keep going, anyway. When you're ready. nevermind Edited September 29, 2022 by TexasProud Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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