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Well, friends, when I planned out this academic year I did not plan for a cancer diagnosis! Do any of you have advice about how to keep teaching as consistent as possible when your schedule is suddenly dictated by doctor's appointments?

Of course, one of the benefits of homeschooling is the flexibility. We could drop everything right now and be fine academically, but my kids would not do well with that. My fifth grader, in particular, needs consistency. Putting him in public school may be a good long-term goal (one we have been discussing), but it would not be good to drop on him suddenly. I would need to be at my best to help him deal with that transition.

We have a little less than a month before I'll need surgery, so I'm hoping that we can spend those days getting through as much as we have going on right now, and then take a couple of days off, and then maybe finishing out the rest of the year with whatever I can fit in around radiation treatment, and a lot of documentaries to fill in the time.

Any thoughts? I'd appreciate any advice. Thanks!

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Especially for your average K-8 student, I would prioritize keeping consistent in math & LA skills, and let history/science and other extras happen as you are able.  Documentary watching is great for getting content in a way that requires not much from you or other involved adults.  Or library books on history/science topics.  Or read alouds (done by you as you are able, or some other involved adult, or librivox or...) 

When one of my elementary aged kids had a chronic illness (and all the labs, testing, scans, dr visits involved with it), he spent the better part of a year "treading water" academically with lots of read alouds and a big ol' pile of Spectrum workbooks. He did well with the consistent format and easy to haul to the doctor's office format of the workbooks.  His end of year testing was fine the next school year.  No great gains, but no great losses either.  Which was wonderful considering all he had been through. 

 

Hugs and prayers for you as you go through all this.

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Yes, we have had a year like this this year too.  My ydd got a diagnosis in Nov and then had a major surgery 3 weeks later, had a recovery set back in January and was hospitalized again for a few days then, and has had doctor appointments and recovery issues non stop since.  This is just our life right now.  

In our case we had a strong first semester in everything before her diagnosis in Nov. She had had most of her appointments before that in the summer and not during school thankfully.  We had a short week between Thanksgiving and Christmas, but productive- she won a science fair and did a talent show performance which is bittersweet because she has had to drop all sports and physical activity since surgery.  I am so glad she got to do the performance that week.    Of course, the week in the hospital after surgery we did no school.  Then the next week at home in bed I did what I could. She was in bed, but she did crafts daily, I read a chapter book and a history chapter to her that week.  She got a series of science themed chapter books as a gift that she read that week, and we did history/Bible stuff.  For math, we just played gamed and she did activities of her choice in different activity books that people gifted her, and she practiced flashcards a little.  AFter that, we continued things like the previous week, but that was the week before Christmas when we were on break officially anyway.  I counted her surgery week as school days and excused absences.  We just picked back up what we could after Christmas.  There are days when we don't get to everything because of dr. appointments or because of pain management.  But like PP said, we have kept up reading, LA, and math.  We only really took a couple weeks off from reading SOTW.  But we maybe did less projects or bookwork with that than we would have for a couple of those weeks.  Because mine is little, her academics don't take that much time in a day, so we have been able to keep up.  What I can't keep up with are my volunteer positions that I had committed to for the year.  I am struggling with one, but doing the best I can and had to let one go that I had committed to for the year.  

I have it probably easier than you OP because I am not the one sick.  I have had extreme stress and lack of sleep over some of the things we have encountered.  On those days, I just do the best we can.  There is even one day in her school log that says "no school today. In shock after her dr. appt." 

Edited by 2_girls_mommy
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We've done this a few times, unfortunately. Cancer sucks, immensely, and I'm sorry you're having to go through that sh!t. 

I do have a few thoughts, actually.  I bent over backwards making homeschooling still work through dd's terminal cancer experience, a long hospitalization for me followed by a NICU baby, and a few other things.  These last couple of go arounds, I homeschooled only the kids that could be mostly independent and put the younger ones in school.  Having lived in both ways, I will say that putting them in school was so.much.easier, and I think it was better for my kids' mental health. They got a chance to go off to school and have pretty dang normal days around other kids and forget some of the heaviness that was going on at home.  It was also so much easier to go to appointments without having to arrange childcare.  I had a kid who really needed and needs consistency, and honestly, school was the consistency that he needed. Things played out so much smoother than I thought they would. My anxiety about him going to school was the problem, iykwim. 

Imma step off my soapbox now, and give you the practical advice you asked for:

1. Streamline whatever you can.  We did SOTW audiobooks for history. For my kids younger than 5th grade, we watched documentaries for science and did a couple of field trips later in the year to round that out. No matter what, we did math every day. Handwriting and phonics instruction happened consistently for the younger set, anyone 5th grade or older got consistent writing and grammar instruction (grammar up through 8th). 

2. When I was hospitalized for a long period of time, I had to have family step in. Everything got reduced to workbooks, with page numbers assigned. Each kid had a backpack, and their books and supply pouch and planner were kept in their own backpacks. Everything was self contained so as they moved between houses everything was there. Sometimes things didn't get done, and that was ok, but it generally was.  Dh brought the backpacks to me at the end of the week and I went through the material with grading and making notes for followup.  My oldest was beyond what my mom and other family (not dh) could tutor in math, so he and I had daily FaceTime calls.  We used video based math those years as well, so he was getting instruction from the videos.  (Now, I would assign Khan Academy, fwiw, for those 2nd-8th grade).

3. Radiation is just likely to make you sleepy. At the end you'll have some burns that will be not nice, but it's not as challenging to deal with as chemo in terms of trying to teach while puking, etc. The surgery recovery is likely to be the harder thing to deal with for you.  I would cancel school for a few weeks around that, and just bump the school year into summer. 

4. People will offer sympathy and make vague offers of help. Try to pin some of those down---"let me know if I can ever do something for you"--should get turned into, "Honestly, we could use some help with meals" or "I'm worried about how I'm going to keep up with keeping the bathrooms clean" with people who are your true, good friends.  Give specifics, and you're more likely to get the support you're going to need.

5. You will probably get a standard slot for radiation, like "3 pm" or "10:20 am".  Be blunt with the scheduler and share that you have kids at home. Most of the people there are going to be over 70 and have all day to show up to get nuked. Ask for a time like 2pm when you can come home and nap, and keep your mornings productive for homeschooling.  It's also likewise ok to negotiate for good times with oncology.  Keep a notebook listing your appointment dates to make it easier to line up insurance statements. Dealing with billing and insurance is a huge time suck that is no fun.

Hugs, and best wishes.

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I am so sorry you have to deal with this. What I would do would depend a bit on my child, but I will give it a go. This is for your fifth grader:
My plan would be to get to math and reading every day. I would just have him read and once a week or so I would ask him to tell me about the book. For writing, I would buy Evan Moors Daily 6 trait writing. This is portable and gives him something to do. I would put everything else on a loop. A loop might look like:science, social studies, spelling, etc. then you work through the list, get as far as you can and then pick up where you left off when you can. However, I actually would probably drop all of that and read aloud if I had the time and energy. 
 

Consider a series like Liberty’s Kids which my kid’s loved and is perfect for Fifth grade. Our library has it or it’s usually cheap on Amazon. 

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13 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:

 

4. People will offer sympathy and make vague offers of help. Try to pin some of those down---"let me know if I can ever do something for you"--should get turned into, "Honestly, we could use some help with meals" or "I'm worried about how I'm going to keep up with keeping the bathrooms clean" with people who are your true, good friends.  Give specifics, and you're more likely to get the support you're going to need.

 

Hugs, and best wishes.

This is good and specific!  Yes, for us, when people offered meals, I said what I really needed was rides for my high schooler that was going to be home alone a lot and couldn't drive.  She could stay home and work on her classes and make her own meals.  So my church set up a schedule for driving her back and forth to her dance classes for two weeks and a co-op leader picked her up for co-op to keep her life a little more consistent. 

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On 2/28/2022 at 9:34 AM, Zoo Keeper said:

Especially for your average K-8 student, I would prioritize keeping consistent in math & LA skills, and let history/science and other extras happen as you are able.  Documentary watching is great for getting content in a way that requires not much from you or other involved adults.  Or library books on history/science topics.  Or read alouds (done by you as you are able, or some other involved adult, or librivox or...) 

When one of my elementary aged kids had a chronic illness (and all the labs, testing, scans, dr visits involved with it), he spent the better part of a year "treading water" academically with lots of read alouds and a big ol' pile of Spectrum workbooks. He did well with the consistent format and easy to haul to the doctor's office format of the workbooks.  His end of year testing was fine the next school year.  No great gains, but no great losses either.  Which was wonderful considering all he had been through. 

 

Hugs and prayers for you as you go through all this.

Zoo Keeper, thank you for your advice.  Your post made me realize something that I had overlooked:  travel time and waiting time can still be used for learning.  I'm no sure why I hadn't thought about that!  

I hope that your son is doing much better since his year of illness!

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On 2/28/2022 at 9:35 AM, Kassia said:

I didn't know about your cancer diagnosis or your upcoming surgery and radiation.  Thinking of you and wishing you all the best.  ❤️

Thank you so much for your good wishes, Kassia!  I really appreciate them.  We all need each other's wishes for these things that come up, don't we?  🙂

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17 hours ago, 2_girls_mommy said:

Yes, we have had a year like this this year too.  My ydd got a diagnosis in Nov and then had a major surgery 3 weeks later, had a recovery set back in January and was hospitalized again for a few days then, and has had doctor appointments and recovery issues non stop since.  This is just our life right now.  

In our case we had a strong first semester in everything before her diagnosis in Nov. She had had most of her appointments before that in the summer and not during school thankfully.  We had a short week between Thanksgiving and Christmas, but productive- she won a science fair and did a talent show performance which is bittersweet because she has had to drop all sports and physical activity since surgery.  I am so glad she got to do the performance that week.    Of course, the week in the hospital after surgery we did no school.  Then the next week at home in bed I did what I could. She was in bed, but she did crafts daily, I read a chapter book and a history chapter to her that week.  She got a series of science themed chapter books as a gift that she read that week, and we did history/Bible stuff.  For math, we just played gamed and she did activities of her choice in different activity books that people gifted her, and she practiced flashcards a little.  AFter that, we continued things like the previous week, but that was the week before Christmas when we were on break officially anyway.  I counted her surgery week as school days and excused absences.  We just picked back up what we could after Christmas.  There are days when we don't get to everything because of dr. appointments or because of pain management.  But like PP said, we have kept up reading, LA, and math.  We only really took a couple weeks off from reading SOTW.  But we maybe did less projects or bookwork with that than we would have for a couple of those weeks.  Because mine is little, her academics don't take that much time in a day, so we have been able to keep up.  What I can't keep up with are my volunteer positions that I had committed to for the year.  I am struggling with one, but doing the best I can and had to let one go that I had committed to for the year.  

I have it probably easier than you OP because I am not the one sick.  I have had extreme stress and lack of sleep over some of the things we have encountered.  On those days, I just do the best we can.  There is even one day in her school log that says "no school today. In shock after her dr. appt." 

Thank you so much, 2_girls_mommy.  My heart hurts for what you and your young daughter have gone through so recently.  I'd love to be spending lots of snuggly time in bed with my kids - maybe they could read to me and I'll count it as school!  (It's not likely - they're too old now for snuggles, but I'll still hope.)  

I'm going to hope that there are more talent show performances in your daughter's future!  Give her my congratulations on her science fair win!

 

ETA:  And what a wonderful church you have!  I'm so glad they were there for you.  

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5 minutes ago, Quarter Note said:

Thank you so much for your good wishes, Kassia!  I really appreciate them.  We all need each other's wishes for these things that come up, don't we?  🙂

Yes, we do.  We are fortunate to be part of this wonderful community.  ❤️  

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16 hours ago, prairiewindmomma said:

We've done this a few times, unfortunately. Cancer sucks, immensely, and I'm sorry you're having to go through that sh!t. 

I do have a few thoughts, actually.  I bent over backwards making homeschooling still work through dd's terminal cancer experience, a long hospitalization for me followed by a NICU baby, and a few other things.  These last couple of go arounds, I homeschooled only the kids that could be mostly independent and put the younger ones in school.  Having lived in both ways, I will say that putting them in school was so.much.easier, and I think it was better for my kids' mental health. They got a chance to go off to school and have pretty dang normal days around other kids and forget some of the heaviness that was going on at home.  It was also so much easier to go to appointments without having to arrange childcare.  I had a kid who really needed and needs consistency, and honestly, school was the consistency that he needed. Things played out so much smoother than I thought they would. My anxiety about him going to school was the problem, iykwim. 

Imma step off my soapbox now, and give you the practical advice you asked for:

1. Streamline whatever you can.  We did SOTW audiobooks for history. For my kids younger than 5th grade, we watched documentaries for science and did a couple of field trips later in the year to round that out. No matter what, we did math every day. Handwriting and phonics instruction happened consistently for the younger set, anyone 5th grade or older got consistent writing and grammar instruction (grammar up through 8th). 

2. When I was hospitalized for a long period of time, I had to have family step in. Everything got reduced to workbooks, with page numbers assigned. Each kid had a backpack, and their books and supply pouch and planner were kept in their own backpacks. Everything was self contained so as they moved between houses everything was there. Sometimes things didn't get done, and that was ok, but it generally was.  Dh brought the backpacks to me at the end of the week and I went through the material with grading and making notes for followup.  My oldest was beyond what my mom and other family (not dh) could tutor in math, so he and I had daily FaceTime calls.  We used video based math those years as well, so he was getting instruction from the videos.  (Now, I would assign Khan Academy, fwiw, for those 2nd-8th grade).

3. Radiation is just likely to make you sleepy. At the end you'll have some burns that will be not nice, but it's not as challenging to deal with as chemo in terms of trying to teach while puking, etc. The surgery recovery is likely to be the harder thing to deal with for you.  I would cancel school for a few weeks around that, and just bump the school year into summer. 

4. People will offer sympathy and make vague offers of help. Try to pin some of those down---"let me know if I can ever do something for you"--should get turned into, "Honestly, we could use some help with meals" or "I'm worried about how I'm going to keep up with keeping the bathrooms clean" with people who are your true, good friends.  Give specifics, and you're more likely to get the support you're going to need.

5. You will probably get a standard slot for radiation, like "3 pm" or "10:20 am".  Be blunt with the scheduler and share that you have kids at home. Most of the people there are going to be over 70 and have all day to show up to get nuked. Ask for a time like 2pm when you can come home and nap, and keep your mornings productive for homeschooling.  It's also likewise ok to negotiate for good times with oncology.  Keep a notebook listing your appointment dates to make it easier to line up insurance statements. Dealing with billing and insurance is a huge time suck that is no fun.

Hugs, and best wishes.

Prairiewindmomma, I'm so sorry that your advice was bought so dearly with your own experience.  Thank you for writing out such specific advice.  I will especially try to be firm with the scheduler about getting a time slot that works for us.  All the treatments will need to happen in the city about an hour away from us, so getting a good time will be really important.  (I don't want to be driving down the mountain during rush hour traffic, anyway!)

Thank you for the hugs and wishes!

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5 minutes ago, Kassia said:

Yes, we do.  We are fortunate to be part of this wonderful community.  ❤️  

So true!  I don't post very often, but I read every day.  I'm hoping that sometime in the future I can give back some of what I've received from the more-frequent posters here.  (Thanks for being one of the encouragers!)

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16 hours ago, freesia said:

I am so sorry you have to deal with this. What I would do would depend a bit on my child, but I will give it a go. This is for your fifth grader:
My plan would be to get to math and reading every day. I would just have him read and once a week or so I would ask him to tell me about the book. For writing, I would buy Evan Moors Daily 6 trait writing. This is portable and gives him something to do. I would put everything else on a loop. A loop might look like:science, social studies, spelling, etc. then you work through the list, get as far as you can and then pick up where you left off when you can. However, I actually would probably drop all of that and read aloud if I had the time and energy. 
 

Consider a series like Liberty’s Kids which my kid’s loved and is perfect for Fifth grade. Our library has it or it’s usually cheap on Amazon. 

Freesia, the Daily 6 Trait Writing looks wonderful!  I think that will be great for delegating writing to my kids without me being so involved.  (Writing has always been the hardest part of homeschooling for me.)  Simply asking him to read to me is sounding better and better.  Thank you!

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2 minutes ago, Quarter Note said:

Freesia, the Daily 6 Trait Writing looks wonderful!  I think that will be great for delegating writing to my kids without me being so involved.  (Writing has always been the hardest part of homeschooling for me.)  Simply asking him to read to me is sounding better and better.  Thank you!

I'm glad it was helpful.  I was typing on my phone before so I left out some things I'd wanted to say.  My bff's dh had a health crises several years ago that took a lot of her time while she had 7 homeschooled kids.  What she did was switch to CLE math and language arts.  The language arts has handwriting, spelling and grammar and can be done independently.  She was the one who let me know about the Daily 6 Trait Writing.  She used it during this time.  I don't think it will hurt your ds to skip LA for a few months, but did want to let you know about that option now that I'm on my computer.  At the time, I actually wrote out an emergency plan for my homeschool in case I found myself in a similar situation.  Those resources are the ones I would have used.

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So sorry you are dealing with this. 

Having your kids read to you is a great idea. You can also listen to audio books together and just chat about them or have your kids keep a log. Simple. 
Teaching Textbooks perfect for this situation, too. 

My friends who are both going through  this right now are doing much better than they thought. I hope you have the same speedy recovery as they do. Both have said the worry before was worse than the recovery. (neither had chemo)

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DS17 was in public school from K-4th. For 5th grade he just did:

Sadlier Vocabulary Workshop https://www.sadlier.com/school/vw1-12

Reading Detective https://www.criticalthinking.com/reading-detective.html

Singapore Primary Maths https://www.singaporemath.com/collections/primary-mathematics-standards-edition

DS16 also did the same thing for 5th grade.

When I went thru chemotherapy, surgery and radiation, my teens were already in 8th and 9th and could study quite independently.

DS17 accompanied me to radiation treatment and did his readings at the guests waiting area. My radiation treatment was at the cancer center and there was free coffee, hot chocolate and WiFi so he could finish his assignments there. 

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Whew, I have been through this also, and I want you to know I'm thinking of you and cheering you on!  

My husband had cancer in 2018 and we had to live in North Carolina for a couple of months for treatments.  Plus there was a brutal recovery period and three surgeries, one of which was extensive and involved a week-long hospital stay.  

During that time, I wrote this. The next year I was asked to give a talk on this topic at a homeschooling conference.  My primary tips are:

*stay consistent with math. I wish I'd done this better!  But, live and learn. I'd say this is the one thing to keep on with as steadily as possible. 

*simplify and make things easy on yourself in every way possible. Accept all the help you can get. Give yourself lots of grace.  Don't expect perfection. It'll be alright.

*audiobooks and lots of other books!  Books, books, books.  And those documentaries are great, too. 🙂 I was surprised at how much learning my children did during that year of our lives.  Impressive!  

We are going through a similar situation now with my dad who has been diagnosed with incurable extensive small cell lung carcinoma.  My approach has changed a bit because my children are older, but with younger children, I definitely stand by the above advice.

Sending lots of love and healing to you. 

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On 3/5/2022 at 8:33 AM, lmrich said:

So sorry you are dealing with this. 

Having your kids read to you is a great idea. You can also listen to audio books together and just chat about them or have your kids keep a log. Simple. 
Teaching Textbooks perfect for this situation, too. 

My friends who are both going through  this right now are doing much better than they thought. I hope you have the same speedy recovery as they do. Both have said the worry before was worse than the recovery. (neither had chemo)

Thank you, lmrich, for the example of your friends.  I think the same thing will be true for me that was true for them:  the worry will be worse than the recovery.  

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On 3/6/2022 at 7:13 PM, Arcadia said:

DS17 was in public school from K-4th. For 5th grade he just did:

Sadlier Vocabulary Workshop https://www.sadlier.com/school/vw1-12

Reading Detective https://www.criticalthinking.com/reading-detective.html

Singapore Primary Maths https://www.singaporemath.com/collections/primary-mathematics-standards-edition

DS16 also did the same thing for 5th grade.

When I went thru chemotherapy, surgery and radiation, my teens were already in 8th and 9th and could study quite independently.

DS17 accompanied me to radiation treatment and did his readings at the guests waiting area. My radiation treatment was at the cancer center and there was free coffee, hot chocolate and WiFi so he could finish his assignments there. 

Free hot chocolate would really sweeten the deal for my kids! 

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I am so sorry! Since I currently have a 5th grader, I wanted to mention that one thing he likes to do is research an animal (he has a lot of nature books) and write a little report about it. He probably spends a couple of hours on this by himself, and then proceeds to read this to one of his grandparents over skype the next day (I proofread the spelling - my kid is not a great speller, but this is so much more fun than spelling exercises). You could start something like this in an area that interests your kid and have them read to you while you lie down to recover from radiation.

Best wishes for your treatment!

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On 3/8/2022 at 7:50 PM, pehp said:

Whew, I have been through this also, and I want you to know I'm thinking of you and cheering you on!  

My husband had cancer in 2018 and we had to live in North Carolina for a couple of months for treatments.  Plus there was a brutal recovery period and three surgeries, one of which was extensive and involved a week-long hospital stay.  

During that time, I wrote this. The next year I was asked to give a talk on this topic at a homeschooling conference.  My primary tips are:

*stay consistent with math. I wish I'd done this better!  But, live and learn. I'd say this is the one thing to keep on with as steadily as possible. 

*simplify and make things easy on yourself in every way possible. Accept all the help you can get. Give yourself lots of grace.  Don't expect perfection. It'll be alright.

*audiobooks and lots of other books!  Books, books, books.  And those documentaries are great, too. 🙂 I was surprised at how much learning my children did during that year of our lives.  Impressive!  

We are going through a similar situation now with my dad who has been diagnosed with incurable extensive small cell lung carcinoma.  My approach has changed a bit because my children are older, but with younger children, I definitely stand by the above advice.

Sending lots of love and healing to you. 

pehp, I read your beautiful journey entry.  Thank you very much for sharing.  Your courage with your own experience is inspiring.  I love your tips, too!  

I wish you much peace as you walk with your dad through his cancer, and continued health for your husband.  I will be spending more time on your blog.  May your house be ever more joyful!

 

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3 minutes ago, Mom_to3 said:

I am so sorry! Since I currently have a 5th grader, I wanted to mention that one thing he likes to do is research an animal (he has a lot of nature books) and write a little report about it. He probably spends a couple of hours on this by himself, and then proceeds to read this to one of his grandparents over skype the next day (I proofread the spelling - my kid is not a great speller, but this is so much more fun than spelling exercises). You could start something like this in an area that interests your kid and have them read to you while you lie down to recover from radiation.

Best wishes for your treatment!

Oh, I love this idea!  My 5th grader would probably research WWII jet fighters, but if it kept him busy and got him writing, I'd happy to listen to anything he had to say.  Thank you!  (Between you and me, though, I'd probably rather listen to reports on animals!)

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1 hour ago, Quarter Note said:

Oh, I love this idea!  My 5th grader would probably research WWII jet fighters, but if it kept him busy and got him writing, I'd happy to listen to anything he had to say.  Thank you!  (Between you and me, though, I'd probably rather listen to reports on animals!)

If you haven't seen them before, Funschool Journals from Thinking Tree are fun for guiding kids through some schooly subjects and getting them to do some writing and research on their own.  

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1 hour ago, 2_girls_mommy said:

If you haven't seen them before, Funschool Journals from Thinking Tree are fun for guiding kids through some schooly subjects and getting them to do some writing and research on their own.  

Oh, I haven't seen those before.  I'll look into them.  Thank you!

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On 3/19/2022 at 7:17 PM, Quarter Note said:

Oh, I haven't seen those before.  I'll look into them.  Thank you!

There's not any instruction, but they are creative, fun books that kids can work through on their own.  You can set up guidelines for which books and videos to use and set up some time requirements or whatever.  You can also just set them loose and say get this many pages done and just follow the directions on each page and see what happens.  There is a lot of ways you can use them. I have girls, and they appeal to them.  I am not sure about for boys because I don't have any, lol. 

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