Ginevra Posted December 10, 2021 Share Posted December 10, 2021 He persists. 😬 If you remember, I thought I shook him off after Halloween by telling him about my niece’s wedding and sending him a picture of me and dh. Well, he did go away for a few weeks. Then he gave a one-word “Hi” around TGing. I didn’t respond. Then he said something like, “If you see your parents for TG, tell them I said hi; I hope they are well.” I didn’t respond. Now a couple hours ago, he again posts “Hi”. Like seriously, what do I do to make him go away? I have been really, really, really not interested in saying something really final as some people have recommended in my other thread. But still. I don’t want the damn notification popping up on there! And I don’t want his name to keep moving to the top of my conversations. I want him to go away but I wish he would just do so without my having to spell it out. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Idalou Posted December 10, 2021 Share Posted December 10, 2021 Can't you block people on FB messenger?? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted December 10, 2021 Share Posted December 10, 2021 Umm ... I would just unfriend and block him like yesterday. It isn't mean to have clear boundaries for yourself and strongly enforce them. https://symptomsofliving.com/blog/blocking-people-is-a-form-of-self-care/ 7 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shoeless Posted December 10, 2021 Share Posted December 10, 2021 Just now, Idalou said: Can't you block people on FB messenger?? Yes, you can. Quill, just block the guy. He's not interested in acting in your hint. He's received the hint; he just doesn't care. Block him. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted December 10, 2021 Share Posted December 10, 2021 Just block him Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bibiche Posted December 10, 2021 Share Posted December 10, 2021 Why not just say your husband is the jealous type and you can no longer keep in touch? And then block him. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted December 10, 2021 Share Posted December 10, 2021 why don't you simply block him? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 10, 2021 Share Posted December 10, 2021 Ok. I might. Ugh! It just feels so mean! Like, ugh. I just don’t want to be that mean bitch who shut him down. My “be a good girl” brainwashing makes it hard. Heh. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WildflowerMom Posted December 10, 2021 Share Posted December 10, 2021 Another vote for blocking. 🙅🏻♀️🙅🏻♀️🙅🏻♀️ 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 10, 2021 Share Posted December 10, 2021 2 minutes ago, WildflowerMom said: Another vote for blocking. 🙅🏻♀️🙅🏻♀️🙅🏻♀️ Maybe I’ll send him that emoji 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TexasProud Posted December 10, 2021 Share Posted December 10, 2021 Yeah, I'd block him. Sorry you are dealing with this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shoeless Posted December 10, 2021 Share Posted December 10, 2021 It's not mean or bitchy to ignore creepy dudes who refuse to take a polite cue to buzz off. I can guarantee he would not be doing this if you were a dude. Men don't act like this toward other men. 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 10, 2021 Share Posted December 10, 2021 2 minutes ago, MissLemon said: It's not mean or bitchy to ignore creepy dudes who refuse to take a polite cue to buzz off. I can guarantee he would not be doing this if you were a dude. Men don't act like this toward other men. That’s an excellent point Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted December 10, 2021 Share Posted December 10, 2021 If you block without unfriending when you decide to unblock he’ll be on your friends list again. Frankly this sort of jerk is likely to be mentally unstable, an addict, or both. Just block him and don’t think twice about it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirstenhill Posted December 10, 2021 Share Posted December 10, 2021 I would probably block the guy. But you can mute people in messenger so the notification doesn't ever pop up. I muted a couple people in messenger that I want to stay friends with on Facebook, but have this annoying habit of randomly sending gifs/memes in messenger at any time of day or night for no apparent reason. Super annoying. So they are just muted in messenger and I never open their message thread. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 10, 2021 Share Posted December 10, 2021 5 minutes ago, kirstenhill said: I would probably block the guy. But you can mute people in messenger so the notification doesn't ever pop up. I muted a couple people in messenger that I want to stay friends with on Facebook, but have this annoying habit of randomly sending gifs/memes in messenger at any time of day or night for no apparent reason. Super annoying. So they are just muted in messenger and I never open their message thread. Oooh cool I didn’t know this was a feature. I could use this for a cousin; I have no real issue with her, but she sends me recipes all the time. Like, just randomly sends me recipes for lemon bars or pecan sandies or chocolate cherrie bars. I’m always like…why??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El... Posted December 11, 2021 Share Posted December 11, 2021 49 minutes ago, MissLemon said: It's not mean or bitchy to ignore creepy dudes who refuse to take a polite cue to buzz off. I can guarantee he would not be doing this if you were a dude. Men don't act like this toward other men. This right here!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 11, 2021 Share Posted December 11, 2021 Ok. I did a thing y’all. I gave him The Speech. When I didn’t respond to his “Hi”, he apologized again, like he had before. I don’t really get this; I don’t know if he’s trying to induce pity? Or what. But anyway, I just came clean. I said, “[Name], listen….” I said it was nice to hear from him and reminisce a bit about our shared youth, but I have come to realize I can’t nurture a friendship with a guy with whom I have history; it just is not the right thing for a married woman who plans to stay married to do. I said it would be hurtful to my husband if he saw messages popping up on my phone from a guy from my past and I am not going to continue chatting with him in future because it could be harmful to my marriage. I wished him all the best and said I would remember him fondly but that it won’t continue. He replied that I am absolutely right; he was sorry if he implied anything and to have a nice life and a happy marriage. So that’s that. I read that article about blocking and I think the article is right. Now that I have had the explanatory conversation, I will block him so he is not tempted to test my resolve and I have to “break up with him” all over again. It actually didn’t feel as icky as I expected…feel kind of free 22 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shoeless Posted December 11, 2021 Share Posted December 11, 2021 16 minutes ago, Quill said: When I didn’t respond to his “Hi”, he apologized again, like he had before. I don’t really get this; I don’t know if he’s trying to induce pity? Yes, and to get you to see him as a "nice" and "safe" guy who couldn't possibly be doing anything icky by pursuing someone who's giving clear "Go Away" vibes. It's a way to wear down boundaries so he can get what he wants. To be fair, I don't know he's thinking "Ok, now I will apologize to look nice and gradually whittle away at her boundaries! Muhahahaha!" He's a needy guy that's choosing a creepy way to get his emotional needs met. He's probably done it before and knows if he pushes at someone long enough, he'll be successful and get attention. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BronzeTurtle Posted December 11, 2021 Share Posted December 11, 2021 I would assume the 'hi' messages were sent when he was drunk. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 11, 2021 Share Posted December 11, 2021 8 minutes ago, BronzeTurtle said: I would assume the 'hi' messages were sent when he was drunk. That definitely occurred to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pippen Posted December 11, 2021 Share Posted December 11, 2021 2 hours ago, Quill said: Ok. I might. Ugh! It just feels so mean! Like, ugh. I just don’t want to be that mean bitch who shut him down. My “be a good girl” brainwashing makes it hard. Heh. You're much too nice. I blocked my own dad's email for awhile. He was sending tons of email forwards and they would pile up so it took ages for my email to load. My brother didn't have broadband and it was much worse for him. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted December 11, 2021 Share Posted December 11, 2021 Quill, I think what you said to him both saved his feelings and got the job done. 👍 I know other posters are correct in saying that you didn't HAVE to be nice when he wouldn't take a hint, but...IDK, I always feel better if I can resolve problems in a pleasant way, if possible. 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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