S/O Bringing food to events and food allergies

[Spryte]

1 hour ago, Starr said:

I was the person to give dd, in her 20s, a bite of Susie's yummy cranberry pie. Who knew it had almond something in it until it hit her mouth. Potlucks make me crazy. Even restaurants, the hummus with almond oil... We have friends with many allergies that always bring food their kids can eat. I'm sorry when families make it mpre difficult than it already is.

So glad she was ok! Oooh, the hidden ingredients. And the hummus! DS is allergic to sesame, and the number of people who don’t know tahini is made with sesame … Don’t get me started. But seriously, we’ve even had to use the epipen in the grocery store, near the hot bar - probably from lentil soup simmering, at least that’s my guess as I once induced anaphylaxis by cooking lentil soup. First time I learned it could be airborne. Ugh! DS is just ultra sensitive. 

Our families are all pretty cool about it, and really don’t seem to mind what we do, but I do often worry that we are on the edge of stepping on toes, with the more extended family who doesn’t see us as often. But probably — everyone is dealing with their own thing and isn’t paying attention to us anyway.

I do really like the idea of redirecting get togethers, or even maybe deflecting invites to an after-dinner event. That seems like a good skill to teach the allergy kids.
 

 

[ktgrok]

7 hours ago, Spryte said:

So glad she was ok! Oooh, the hidden ingredients. And the hummus! DS is allergic to sesame, and the number of people who don’t know tahini is made with sesame … Don’t get me started.

When DS22 was young he was allergic/sensitive/something to cows milk. I'll never forget my mom telling me proudly that she made the mashed potatoes without dairy so that DS could eat them - she used yogurt instead of sour cream!! Um....

Then there was the time DH got him a smoothie. I'd reminded him it had to be dairy free. So he got one based on yogurt, not milk. Um...honey, what do you think yogurt is made of? He said, "Oh, I know - you make yogurt from other yogurt!" While correct, that was not helpful, lol. 

Then there was my sister, who thought DS couldn't have eggs, because they were from the "dairy" section of the grocery store....never mind form a totally different type of animal,lol. 

So yeah, I do NOT trust anyone. Now that DS9 has celiac we just make everything ourselves or read labels carefully. 

[marbel]

15 hours ago, regentrude said:

Wow! You GOT skills. Baking bread is wayyy harder than cutting a few sweet potatoes, some carrots, and a head of broccoli into chunks, drizzling them with olive oil, and throwing them in the oven for half an hour. For a total cost of $5.

See, I don't see the ability to bake bread as indicative of ability to cook completely different things. I will happily bring baked things anywhere, and while I can roast a pan of vegetables at home, I would not want to try to take that to a big group gathering. Figuring correct amounts/proportions, good combinations, and making sure everything is done properly at the same time, to me it's not all that easy.  And many people don't like mixtures - "oh, that looks good but are those sweet potatoes? Thanks but I'll pass." 

And produce prices vary widely. Even though it's been a long time, I remember when I moved from Oregon to SE PA. The cost of produce was astronomical compared to what I was used to!  And the quality was lower. Of course in Oregon I lived in the middle of one of the biggest growing areas in the US. 

I know people who are terrified at the thought of baking a cake without a box mix, while to me that's the easiest thing in the world. 🤷‍♂️ We are all so different.

[Jaybee]

I have always enjoyed big Thanksgiving dinners, and enjoy hosting. Because we usually lived far from family, these involved close friends. After moving to our present location several years ago, my closest friend here has suggested that we just get together in the late afternoon/evening, and share appetizers and desserts rather than the whole meal. At first, I missed the big day together, but now I have come to enjoy the smaller "feast" meal and responsibilities, and we still have holiday time in the evening with games, etc. It has become our "new" tradition.

Something along this line has been mentioned several times here, but I think I would definitely move toward doing that, if I lived close enough to just go for part of the day. "Since our allergies are complicated, we are going to eat our main meal at home, but we will join you all later for desserts and games." Then just take a larger dessert. Much simpler with less worry. If your dh will miss the big meal with all the trimmings, maybe he can make a plate for supper with leftovers.

[vonfirmath]

2 hours ago, ktgrok said:

When DS22 was young he was allergic/sensitive/something to cows milk. I'll never forget my mom telling me proudly that she made the mashed potatoes without dairy so that DS could eat them - she used yogurt instead of sour cream!! Um....

Then there was the time DH got him a smoothie. I'd reminded him it had to be dairy free. So he got one based on yogurt, not milk. Um...honey, what do you think yogurt is made of? He said, "Oh, I know - you make yogurt from other yogurt!" While correct, that was not helpful, lol. 

Then there was my sister, who thought DS couldn't have eggs, because they were from the "dairy" section of the grocery store....never mind form a totally different type of animal,lol. 

So yeah, I do NOT trust anyone. Now that DS9 has celiac we just make everything ourselves or read labels carefully. 

Yep. we ran into the eggs thing, while thinking cheese crackers were just fine

[Harriet Vane]

2 hours ago, ktgrok said:

When DS22 was young he was allergic/sensitive/something to cows milk. I'll never forget my mom telling me proudly that she made the mashed potatoes without dairy so that DS could eat them - she used yogurt instead of sour cream!! Um....

Then there was the time DH got him a smoothie. I'd reminded him it had to be dairy free. So he got one based on yogurt, not milk. Um...honey, what do you think yogurt is made of? He said, "Oh, I know - you make yogurt from other yogurt!" While correct, that was not helpful, lol. 

Then there was my sister, who thought DS couldn't have eggs, because they were from the "dairy" section of the grocery store....never mind form a totally different type of animal,lol. 

So yeah, I do NOT trust anyone. Now that DS9 has celiac we just make everything ourselves or read labels carefully. 

YES. I have encountered this sooooooo many times. There were people who thought I was rigid and heartless for not trusting others, but there were times that someone clueless caused problems for ds or me. Constant vigilance.

[Spryte]

3 hours ago, ktgrok said:

When DS22 was young he was allergic/sensitive/something to cows milk. I'll never forget my mom telling me proudly that she made the mashed potatoes without dairy so that DS could eat them - she used yogurt instead of sour cream!! Um....

Then there was the time DH got him a smoothie. I'd reminded him it had to be dairy free. So he got one based on yogurt, not milk. Um...honey, what do you think yogurt is made of? He said, "Oh, I know - you make yogurt from other yogurt!" While correct, that was not helpful, lol. 

Then there was my sister, who thought DS couldn't have eggs, because they were from the "dairy" section of the grocery store....never mind form a totally different type of animal,lol. 

So yeah, I do NOT trust anyone. Now that DS9 has celiac we just make everything ourselves or read labels carefully. 

Yes, sometimes well-meaning people just don’t get it.

DS’s preschool director was a former chef, she should have known better, but one day she proudly took me to the kitchen to show me that there were no tree nuts. And, “Look! Even the bread is just made with hazelnut flour, so no tree nuts there!” Ummmmmm. …And so we switched to home preschool, then continued through the school years.

[regentrude]

1 hour ago, Spryte said:

DS’s preschool director was a former chef, she should have known better, but one day she proudly took me to the kitchen to show me that there were no tree nuts. And, “Look! Even the bread is just made with hazelnut flour, so no tree nuts there!” 

Where does she think hazelnuts grow?
I am amazed about the stories of people being so utterly clueless what's in their food.

[Junie]

4 hours ago, marbel said:

See, I don't see the ability to bake bread as indicative of ability to cook completely different things. I will happily bring baked things anywhere, and while I can roast a pan of vegetables at home, I would not want to try to take that to a big group gathering. Figuring correct amounts/proportions, good combinations, and making sure everything is done properly at the same time, to me it's not all that easy.  And many people don't like mixtures - "oh, that looks good but are those sweet potatoes? Thanks but I'll pass." 

And produce prices vary widely. Even though it's been a long time, I remember when I moved from Oregon to SE PA. The cost of produce was astronomical compared to what I was used to!  And the quality was lower. Of course in Oregon I lived in the middle of one of the biggest growing areas in the US. 

I know people who are terrified at the thought of baking a cake without a box mix, while to me that's the easiest thing in the world. 🤷‍♂️ We are all so different.

While cooking and baking seem like they are related skills, I have come to realize that they are very, very different.  

Of course, there are some people who like to do both (and people who like to do neither) but in my experience most people very much favor one or the other.

Me, for instance:  I don't like to cook, but I detest baking.  I don't like to measure.  And so while cooking without (much) measuring usually has edible results, baking without measuring is a disaster waiting to happen.

[Junie]

I was told by a friend that the bread she baked would be safe for me (I'm gluten free) because she bought the flour from a market and they sold the gluten separately in another bin.  This is why as a general rule I don't eat food prepared by other people.

[regentrude]

1 minute ago, Junie said:

I was told by a friend that the bread she baked would be safe for me (I'm gluten free) because she bought the flour from a market and they sold the gluten separately in another bin.  

Where's the head bang emoji.

Actually, at an market with bulk bins of flour, I wouldn't even trust the gluten-free flour from a separate barrel because cross-contamination in that setting must be a problem

[Junie]

1 minute ago, regentrude said:

Where's the head bang emoji.

Actually, at an market with bulk bins of flour, I wouldn't even trust the gluten-free flour from a separate barrel because cross-contamination in that setting must be a problem

Exactly.

In fact, I would get sick from just being near the bins because of the flour in the air.

 

[Spryte]

22 minutes ago, Junie said:

Exactly.

In fact, I would get sick from just being near the bins because of the flour in the air.

 

Yes, DS avoids the aisles with bins of flours, nuts, seeds. We’ve had a lot of frightening moments in grocery stores over the years — between the bins and the hot bars with allergens cooking (Wegman’s has been the worst, ironically, because they also have the best allergy friendly food selection around here, for us). Before DS, it wasn’t even on my radar that people could have airborne reactions! 

Allergies are so tricky. And celiac, too!

[Junie]

2 minutes ago, Spryte said:

Yes, DS avoids the aisles with bins of flours, nuts, seeds. We’ve had a lot of frightening moments in grocery stores over the years — between the bins and the hot bars with allergens cooking (Wegman’s has been the worst, ironically, because they also have the best allergy friendly food selection around here, for us). Before DS, it wasn’t even on my radar that people could have airborne reactions! 

Allergies are so tricky. And celiac, too!

I have discussed with people that if you can smell something, it is because you are ingesting microscopic particles of that item into your nasal passages.  So if you can smell bread baking, it is because you are breathing in very tiny particles of bread.  My wheat allergy is sensitive enough to react to that. 😞

 

[Spryte]

21 minutes ago, Junie said:

I have discussed with people that if you can smell something, it is because you are ingesting microscopic particles of that item into your nasal passages.  So if you can smell bread baking, it is because you are breathing in very tiny particles of bread.  My wheat allergy is sensitive enough to react to that. 😞

 

It sure makes life difficult, doesn’t it?

 

[heartlikealion]

Depends what kind of bread we’re talking about regarding difficulty or time. I’m gonna whip up a pumpkin loaf soon using an easy recipe I saw online. I make loaves of banana nut bread all the time. 

my one and only attempt at homemade rolls wasn’t too bad since I used a dough hook on a mixer. Bread where you are very hands on… ugh pass lol! 

[regentrude]

47 minutes ago, Junie said:

I have discussed with people that if you can smell something, it is because you are ingesting microscopic particles of that item into your nasal passages.  So if you can smell bread baking, it is because you are breathing in very tiny particles of bread.  My wheat allergy is sensitive enough to react to that. 😞

Curious question: does wearing a mask help with this?

[Junie]

48 minutes ago, regentrude said:

Curious question: does wearing a mask help with this?

I think it that it would, although I'm not sure how I would test this.  This is giving me something to think about...

[Spryte]

1 hour ago, regentrude said:

Curious question: does wearing a mask help with this?

We have wondered this as well. DS had anaphylaxis on his last flight, and allergist thinks it was an airborne reaction to someone eating nuts on the flight. We haven’t flown since, really a bummer since we have the option of traveling as a family when DH does (lots of international travel). With Covid, it’s occurred to us that masks might be of use in making flights possible for him again.

But like Junie — how would we test it?

[Melissa Louise]

3 hours ago, Junie said:

I have discussed with people that if you can smell something, it is because you are ingesting microscopic particles of that item into your nasal passages.  So if you can smell bread baking, it is because you are breathing in very tiny particles of bread.  My wheat allergy is sensitive enough to react to that. 😞

 

Yes, Ds had to give up his goal of being a pastry chef because even if he were to work in a g/f bakery eventually, his training would take place in wheat-based kitchens, and it's just not worth the risk to his long term health. 

[Melissa Louise]

My worst allergy story:

I'm allergic to nuts. My own mother forgot, and brought a pecan pie to celebrate one of my young adult birthdays. 

 

[Spryte]

7 minutes ago, Melissa Louise said:

My worst allergy story:

I'm allergic to nuts. My own mother forgot, and brought a pecan pie to celebrate one of my young adult birthdays. 

 

Aaack! Glad you were ok!

My mom has a lot of food allergies, and apparently her own mother could never remember. Even as a kid, it was just on my mother to remember what to eat/not eat. Hers were mostly fruits, veggies and nuts. But not as sensitive as some of us now.

[Melissa Louise]

3 minutes ago, Spryte said:

Aaack! Glad you were ok!

My mom has a lot of food allergies, and apparently her own mother could never remember. Even as a kid, it was just on my mother to remember what to eat/not eat. Hers were mostly fruits, veggies and nuts. But not as sensitive as some of us now.

Luckily, the pecans were very obvious!