Finding things for DS11 to do this summer...

[Noreen Claire]

I just looked into the abyss of a summer with no library, no museums, no swimming at the lake, no going to the beach, and no organized sports for DS11 and I'm at a loss. My other kids can all amuse themselves for hours at a time but DS11 is not as able to do this on his own. He either ends up starting conflict with his brothers or following me around and making me *bonkers*. Please hit me with ideas that a bright eleven-year old boy can do to keep himself busy (and out of trouble) this summer.

FWIW, he is taking an online math class through AoPS that lasts all summer, and will likely do 90 minutes of math on weekdays. He either swings on the tree swing or works on insanely hard dot-to-dot books while listening to audiobooks during quiet time each day. He likes chess puzzles, so I may set him up on chesskid.com or chess.com. He reads for pleasure every morning and again before bed; thankfully, the local library is opening back up for pick-ups only starting tomorrow, so at least we can keep him in books! He and DH have been going to the track to run early each weekday morning, and DS has a weight routine he can do out in the garage. We picked up a stationary bike off the side of the road the other day, and he's enjoying that. (He loves to ride his bicycle, but DS8 had a terrible  bike accident this past April, so no one wants to go ride bikes anymore this summer.) 

Even with all that, there are several hours each day where he won't have anything to do and, when that happens, he ends up getting himself in trouble by antagonizing his little bothers, stomping around the house like a bored rhinoceros, eating everything in sight, completely unraveling a wicker basket, or some other such nonsense. Help!

 

[MysteryJen]

Here are a few things my active kid did during no sports months: juggling, slack line, we picked up a ping pong table off Craig's List (that has been a godsend the past few months).

Other tried and true things for ds3: pitching against a wall with a target, hitting a tennis ball against the wall/garage (until he got too strong), moving rocks at Mom's will, bug collections, trapping snakes, training the dog in new tricks, unicycle, hitting a heavy bag (also off Craigslist), and jumping rope, magic tricks and cars sleight of hand.

[Lori D.]

- beginning sewing projects?
- set up a domino run? build a marble run?
- a pile of cardboard, foam, duct tape, etc -- and let him build forts, swords, etc?
- let him recreate PBS Zoom activities, or Design Squad challenges, or some of these STEM challenges or Engineering challenges?
- Outschool engineering challenges?
- have him dig you a garden plot?
- have him move heavy bricks, rocks, or logs that you need moved to a new spot?

[PeachyDoodle]

You may not want him to spend more time online since he already has some things planned, but Varsity Tutors is offering free virtual summer camps. Maybe one or more of those might appeal to him?

[happi duck]

Stop action animation, video or photo tricks/special effects

[Noreen Claire]

32 minutes ago, MysteryJen said:

Here are a few things my active kid did during no sports months: juggling, slack line, we picked up a ping pong table off Craig's List (that has been a godsend the past few months).

Other tried and true things for ds3: pitching against a wall with a target, hitting a tennis ball against the wall/garage (until he got too strong), moving rocks at Mom's will, bug collections, trapping snakes, training the dog in new tricks, unicycle, hitting a heavy bag (also off Craigslist), and jumping rope, magic tricks and cars sleight of hand.

Thank you for reminding me that he learned how to jump rope a few weeks ago. Adding that and a heavy bag to the list!

[Noreen Claire]

31 minutes ago, Lori D. said:

- beginning sewing projects?
- set up a domino run? build a marble run?
- a pile of cardboard, foam, duct tape, etc -- and let him build forts, swords, etc?
- let him recreate PBS Zoom activities, or Design Squad challenges, or some of these STEM challenges or Engineering challenges?
- Outschool engineering challenges?
- have him dig you a garden plot?
- have him move heavy bricks, rocks, or logs that you need moved to a new spot?

I have some cross stitch supplies put away for next school year. I will take those out and see if the all four of them would like to start this summer. (I've always wanted to learn to embroider, myself!)

I do have plans for garden expansion and would love to have him to the dirty work! Plus, a garden fence/gate idea. I'm hoping that the Habitat for Humanity ReStore will open up again soon, so that I can start looking for supplies...

I will look into the links. Thanks!

[Noreen Claire]

23 minutes ago, PeachyDoodle said:

You may not want him to spend more time online since he already has some things planned, but Varsity Tutors is offering free virtual summer camps. Maybe one or more of those might appeal to him?

I will check it out, thanks!

[Momto6inIN]

Whittling, leather engraving, wood burning? Those are all crafty things from 4H that my boys thought weren't "too girly" and had easily found supplies at Hobby Lobby.

[Dynamite5]

You've gotten lots of good ideas. I would add--rocketry or build his own drone, learn to cook and be responsible for one or two meals per week--even if it's making breakfast, get The Dangerous Book for Boys and let him read through that. Lots of good ideas in there. 

Are you interested in Scouting? Many of the merit badges are online right now in our council. 

I would also encourage all of your kids to learn to spend time together and tell them arguing is NOT an option--give them a certain time (maybe as little as 30 minutes to start) and let them earn rewards for being together and getting along. That's a golden lesson, right there!

Hope your summer ends up being a good one--sounds as though you're a good mom who is looking out for each child!

[fairfarmhand]

13 hours ago, happi duck said:

Stop action animation, video or photo tricks/special effects

My 12 yo son spends hours doing this.

[Noreen Claire]

10 hours ago, Dynamite5 said:

You've gotten lots of good ideas. I would add--rocketry or build his own drone, learn to cook and be responsible for one or two meals per week--even if it's making breakfast, get The Dangerous Book for Boys and let him read through that. Lots of good ideas in there. 

Are you interested in Scouting? Many of the merit badges are online right now in our council. 

I would also encourage all of your kids to learn to spend time together and tell them arguing is NOT an option--give them a certain time (maybe as little as 30 minutes to start) and let them earn rewards for being together and getting along. That's a golden lesson, right there!

Hope your summer ends up being a good one--sounds as though you're a good mom who is looking out for each child!

He would love to learn to cook. The problem, as with all things, is that as soon as I let him start working in the kitchen I have three other boys demanding that they also be allowed to work/help/supervise/whatever, and then there will be tears. I have not yet found a way to deal with the hurt feelings when someone gets to do something that the others want to do.

We were going to look into joining scouting this fall for the 11, 8, and 6 year olds, mostly for the social aspect. I will look into what is online, thanks.

Teaching them not to argue is something that sounds wonderful ... but I don't know if I can pull that off. We can try.

[MysteryJen]

I found if I make the something one kids wants to do (and the others want to join in because they are bored or want to pester) I make it a class. And promise they can do the same next semester. Plus, I just tell them bluntly things aren't fair. 

"The great advantage of living in a large family is that early lesson of life's essential unfairness." Nancy Mitford

Baking 101 is doing school. 

I gained 5 pounds ds3's freshman year...

[fairfarmhand]

Also, what work does this young man do? My son has a lightweight battery powered weed whacker and he does most of all the weed eating, takes a turn on the mower, (everyone cuts grass here as soon as they’re big enough to not trip the safety switch—we have a big yard that’s mostly level so it’s not really dangerous) he can check the air pressure on the car tires, walk the dog, vacuum out the vehicles, help with washing cars, sweep sidewalks, and probably some other stuff I don’t remember at the moment. I assign work in 2 ways. First, he gets chores as a part of “everyone works here” and often the kids after doing work, are happy to keep themselves busy because mom might assign a job if she sees you at loose ends. Also, when my son First starts pestering, I head it off by saying “oh, son, I need you to go take care of the _____” not in a punitive way but just as “that reminds me, time to move on to getting work done.”

Edited because I remembered that my husband does the weed whacking around the plants, trees and bushes.

Edited June 1, 2020 by fairfarmhand

[Emba]

3 hours ago, Noreen Claire said:

He would love to learn to cook. The problem, as with all things, is that as soon as I let him start working in the kitchen I have three other boys demanding that they also be allowed to work/help/supervise/whatever, and then there will be tears. I have not yet found a way to deal with the hurt feelings when someone gets to do something that the others want to do.

Enforce strict turn taking. It’s a fact of life that all the people can’t do one thing at any one time. One kid can be allowed in the kitchen at a time, one per meal or day or whatever you work out. Just make sure that everyone is getting their turn on their day, so that when you tell them, “No, this is DC1’s day to cook, you get to tomorrow (or whenever)”, they’ll know it’s true and won’t fuss. If they continue to fuss, interfere, etc, they can go play outside, in their room, etc.

We do this with cooking and also special things like going to work with Dad, going to town with Mom, etc. 

Edited June 1, 2020 by emba56

[73349]

WSS.

Edited October 2, 2020 by Carolina Wren

[barnwife]

2 minutes ago, emba56 said:

Enforce strict turn taking. It’s a fact of life that all the people can’t do one thing at any one time. One kid can be allowed in the kitchen at a time, one per meal or day or whatever you work out. Just make sure that everyone is getting their turn on their day, so that when you tell them, “No, this is DC1’s day to cook, you get to tomorrow (or whenever)”, they’ll know it’s true and won’t fuss. If they continue to fuss, interfere, etc, they can go play outside, in their room, etc.

Mostly this. Long ago,to save my sanity, I instituted a ""kid of the day" to make decisions like what TV show to watch, etc...It'd be good for something like this. I'd say, "today I need help making lunch. It's XXX's kid of the day." That ends all squabbling. The others know (have learned) they can be in the kitchen too, as long as they aren't in the way/bossy/taking over, squabbling, etc...They get banished elsewhere really fast if they aren't listening. 


 

[Noreen Claire]

19 minutes ago, fairfarmhand said:

Also, what work does this young man do? My son has a lightweight battery powered weed whacker and he does all the weed eating, takes a turn on the mower, (everyone cuts grass here as soon as they’re big enough to not trip the safety switch—we have a big yard that’s mostly level so it’s not really dangerous) he can check the air pressure on the car tires, walk the dog, vacuum out the vehicles, help with washing cars, sweep sidewalks, and probably some other stuff I don’t remember at the moment. I assign work in 2 ways. First, he gets chores as a part of “everyone works here” and often the kids after doing work, are happy to keep themselves busy because mom might assign a job if she sees you at loose ends. Also, when my son First starts pestering, I head it off by saying “oh, son, I need you to go take care of the _____” not in a punitive way but just as “that reminds me, time to move on to getting work done.”

DS11 has a couple of chores as part of his allowance agreement: he is in charge of the household trash and recycling (emptying cans as needed, bringing to/from the curb, etc) and empties the dishwasher every night before bed. He also takes care of his own laundry (wash, try, fold, put away) every week. He does help out around the house/in the yard with projects that his dad is working on, as needed, but I'm looking for things that he can regularly do *on his own*.

[Noreen Claire]

19 minutes ago, emba56 said:

Enforce strict turn taking. It’s a fact of life that all the people can’t do one thing at any one time. One kid can be allowed in the kitchen at a time, one per meal or day or whatever you work out. Just make sure that everyone is getting their turn on their day, so that when you tell them, “No, this is DC1’s day to cook, you get to tomorrow (or whenever)”, they’ll know it’s true and won’t fuss. If they continue to fuss, interfere, etc, they can go play outside, in their room, etc.

We do this with cooking and also special things like going to work with Dad, going to town with Mom, etc. 

This is what I have to do. 

[Noreen Claire]

13 minutes ago, whitehawk said:

This. 11yo is cook's assistant on Mondays, 8yo Wednesdays, 6yo Fridays, 3yo Saturdays. Or whatever. Put it on the fridge and if somebody complaint, you can just point to it.

Good idea!

[Noreen Claire]

14 minutes ago, barnwife said:

Mostly this. Long ago,to save my sanity, I instituted a ""kid of the day" to make decisions like what TV show to watch, etc...It'd be good for something like this. I'd say, "today I need help making lunch. It's XXX's kid of the day." That ends all squabbling. The others know (have learned) they can be in the kitchen too, as long as they aren't in the way/bossy/taking over, squabbling, etc...They get banished elsewhere really fast if they aren't listening. 


 

Oh. I like this. They each have a knit crown from their birthdays last year. The Kid of the Day can wear his crown!

[fairfarmhand]

1 hour ago, Noreen Claire said:

DS11 has a couple of chores as part of his allowance agreement: he is in charge of the household trash and recycling (emptying cans as needed, bringing to/from the curb, etc) and empties the dishwasher every night before bed. He also takes care of his own laundry (wash, try, fold, put away) every week. He does help out around the house/in the yard with projects that his dad is working on, as needed, but I'm looking for things that he can regularly do *on his own*.

Yeah my son has been doing these things in on his own for a couple years now. It takes time to train, but I’m glad for the training now. 

So for weed whacking, he can do the sidewalks around the outbuildings and the fences, but we keep him away from the trees and shrubs because I don't want him to kill something if he makes a mistake.

For grass cutting, someone goes out and outlines a large square and then my son mows the big middle part. 

When my dh started training my son on these things around the time he turned 10, I was sure it was going to be a disaster. I admit, I was a little smug thinking that my son was "too little" and my dh would figure out that it wasn't going to work. I was glad to be wrong on that. My son stepped up and was proud of himself. For whatever reason, I've learned that many boys like manual labor and like being good at it. 

Edited June 1, 2020 by fairfarmhand