Pets...?

[hs03842]

Has anyone with older kids maintained an “our family doesn’t have pets” policy over the years? 

 

Edited June 8, 2020 by JoyKM

[Lori D.]

Not a large family here, AND we ARE dog lovers and have had a dog for most of our married life as well as for all of the lives of our DSs. I actually can't imagine NOT having a dog as part of the family. And having an animal in the home can be a wonderful way for children to learn responsibility and empathy by caring for another living creature.

HOWEVER, animals in the home is not for everyone, and that's fine.

BUT, most of all... pets are a big responsibility and require a lot of time and money. If that is something your family can not do at this time or in the foreseeable future, then I'd just be straight-forward if a child asks: "We don't have the time, space, or money to be responsible pet owners. It would be selfish of us and unfair to the animal to become a pet owner without the resources to do it well."

If a child ends up with a burning desire for a pet, there are options for interactions with animals without having the animal in your home:
- child can do petsitting for neighbors, caring for the animal AT the neighbor's house
- child can volunteer at an animal shelter
- child can participate in 4-H, as a partner of another child who raises the animal (like, rabbits, chickens, or even livestock) at the OTHER child's home
- child can volunteer with a service dog puppy raising group, or other organization that works with the animal of special interest to the child
- a teen child could work at a pet store

Edited May 27, 2020 by Lori D.

[katilac]

We are all about the pets around here, but if you don't want them and they're not asking? Don't even entertain the thought until it's a burning desire on their part. 

How old are your kids? If their tweens and up and haven't asked for a pet yet, you are hereby freed from any mom-guilt, lol. 

[sweet2ndchance]

When my adult children were kids, we had a no pet policy. Or rather I had a no pet policy. Now-ex brought home a potential pet several times trying to force me into changing my mind since it was already in the house but I didn't want a pet to take care of nor would I stand by and watch it be neglected by now-ex and the kids who were too young to have full responsibility for a pet.

Anyways, as for pros... definitely less stressful deciding to go on vacation or move or even just leave for the day without pets in the picture. No pet hair or accidents to clean up. I could sell homeschool curriculum and advertise that it came from a pet free home which just meant that even those with severe allergies could buy from me and know that it is unlikely to cause a reaction in their home.

I'll add more if I think of it but that's all I can think of for now. 

[hs03842]

-

Edited June 8, 2020 by JoyKM

[hs03842]

-

Edited June 8, 2020 by JoyKM

[Selkie]

3 minutes ago, happysmileylady said:

Well, our choice for no pets at this time has been mostly driven by living in rentals for the last 6 yrs.  IN our last place, pets were completely out of the question, and here, we could, but they cost.  Having said all that...7 or 8 yrs ago, we had dogs and cats.  Although I was fond of the dogs AND the cats....I am not sad we no longer have them.   

My DD11 was very attached to our dog.  She has named multiple stuffed animals after that dog.  She has spent YEARS telling us how much she misses that dog and how much she wants a dog.  So much so that.......when she was bit by a dog a few weeks ago (really....bordering on "attacked" by a dog....multiple bites, though none was deep or required more than antibiotics) we were IN the urgent care and she asked me when we could get our own dog.  I often feel like.....had we not rehomed our dog in order to move to the right home for us at that time...one that we couldn't have a pet in...maybe she wouldn't be so intense on it now.

Or maybe she would.  We have a kid, just a smidge older than DD11 who is currently mowing our lawn, and once DD11 realized he was making his own money mowing lawns, she asked to start walking dogs.  SO.....I suppose sometimes....pets might be ingrained.

 

(of course, if I am being 100% honest....deep down.....I am starting to feel a bit of "I need a kitty!!!!!!" So, I dunno if my thoughts matter much lol)

 

Definitely think it is in the DNA. I've loved animals from the moment I was born, in a way that I can't even explain. I just need to have them around me. My mom said that as soon as I learned to talk, I would incessantly say how much I wanted a horse (we already had a dog, or I'm sure I would have been talking nonstop about that, too).🙂

[teachermom2834]

We have always been no pet. I wouldn’t have imagined we would ever have one.

But we just got a dog a month ago. I’m still kind of in shock. My 12 yo dd is a pet lover and has been asking since she could talk. Her older brothers are 22 and 20 (completely out of the home) and 17 (not very interested in hanging out with her). She is lonely and we are not at all busy and we were stuck with no activities. So we did take the leap with a puppy.

Its a nice dog and dd loves it so much. But I do feel a little apprehensive about the responsibility. Vet visits/ groomer/ boarding when we need/ training. 
 

It’s okay and probably worth it for the good in it for my dd and I will love it and care for it well. But it is not nothing. 
 

My vote is it is just fine to be no pet. But okay to change your mind too I guess 🙂

[Lori D.]

40 minutes ago, JoyKM said:

You sound like my parents!  They have 3-5 dogs at any one time. My in-laws have a pack of 4-6 cats, too. As the pets pass on a new puppy, kitten or stray shows up and finds its place. I know it adds a lot to their lives (and that with can visit these cat and dog packs at any time...😆).  It is a lot of work. Thanks for all of the suggestions on what they could do as older kids instead of having a pet. 

lol -- No way we're as "hard core" as your parents! 😉 We just have 1 pet at a time -- 1 dog.

Although... we do volunteer as puppy sitters for our local Guide Dogs for the Blind puppy raiser group, so when there is a need for a sitter, AND it fits in with our schedule, we get to help with the raising of a dog that will go on to the Guide Dog campus to become a guide! SUPER cool and fun. We go to the meetings and learn the training techniques, and then keep up with taking the dog in working jacket out whenever we go anywhere. We have loved being able to volunteer to be a part of this amazing ministry (well, we think of it as ministry 😉 ), and we get to do it as much/as little as works for our schedule. And, because our current pet is a dog adopted out of Guide Dog program who didn't have what it takes to be a guide, we have the whole puppy raising group who know and love our dog who are happy to jump in and dog sit at any time WE might suddenly need to leave town. 😄 

Edited May 27, 2020 by Lori D.

[hs03842]

-

Edited June 8, 2020 by JoyKM

[alisoncooks]

We had a dog for 15 years, who died about 3-4 years ago. After he died, we realized that youngest DD has cat/dog allergies. For that and other reasons, I've decided that we won't have another pet. 1. I'm still not over the loss. 2. We travel enough that having a pet became burdensome. Our last dog hated being away from us (to the point of becoming ill when we had to board him). 3. End of life for our dog became an expensive several months. We don't have the funds for that again. 

We do feed and pet a local stray cat...and we are attached to it. But that's as far as I'll allow. 

[MercyA]

1 hour ago, happysmileylady said:

Or maybe she would.  We have a kid, just a smidge older than DD11 who is currently mowing our lawn, and once DD11 realized he was making his own money mowing lawns, she asked to start walking dogs.  SO.....I suppose sometimes....pets might be ingrained.

Oh, for sure! I desperately wanted a dog when I was a little girl. My great-grandma once brought a stray dog home on the bus in Chicago. My grandma always had a dog. Two of my grandma's daughters are hard-core dog lovers. My mom wrote an essay to win a puppy--and won him!--in elementary school, but somehow lost the dog bug when she grew up and dogs = more work. 🙂

My mom (bless her) let me have fish and guinea pigs and birds and hamsters and mice and a turtle and told me I could get a dog when I got married. And I did, and wouldn't be without one now. Gives me someone to baby. 😉 I'd have a HOUSEFUL of animals if DH allowed it.

OP,  if no one is clamoring for a pet, there is no reason to have one. 

[ktgrok]

2 hours ago, JoyKM said:

I’m sorry all that happened with the fish!  To be honest that sort of a thing is a big part of why I’m hesitating. We feel that having a pet shouldn’t be just about how they make us feel—the animal must be happy, too. I had guinea pigs as a child and loved them, but after researching some for ourselves I now know they were not cared for in proper conditions. We don’t have enough room to give them an optimal guinea pig run, so we would have to sacrifice their happiness to have them for our own entertainment. That feels icky. Even a super basic hermit crab requires a somewhat elaborate terrarium which adds up, and you have to worry about humidity when you’re gone. Who is going to come check a hermit crab for you?  We bird watch, too—it’s a lot of fun!

Hermit crabs ARE hard!!! I've got an AS in veterinary technology and was a certified vet tech, certified dog trainer, etc...I've never ever not had a pet...and when i was reading Pagoo to the kids I thought getting a hermit crab would be SO awesome! Then we started reading about the care.....nope. I do not have that kind of time and energy for something the size of a brussel sprout! They need so many things to be perfect!

So I don't blame you, lol. A cat is easier to care for!

 

2 hours ago, Selkie said:

Definitely think it is in the DNA. I've loved animals from the moment I was born, in a way that I can't even explain. I just need to have them around me. My mom said that as soon as I learned to talk, I would incessantly say how much I wanted a horse (we already had a dog, or I'm sure I would have been talking nonstop about that, too).🙂

Yes.

Honestly, the idea of people not wanting a pet - like..not even the kids asking for one? It doesn't even compute. I mean, I understand the words, but they make no sense, lol. 

Yes, pets are a huge commitment. That is very true, and if you can't do that, you shouldn't have one. But not wanting one? To me, it's like saying you don't want oxygen. I need fur in my life like I need air and water and sleep. Possibly more than sleep. I love my husband dearly, but I NEED pets. I am 100 percent positive they are what keep me from utter insanity. Or at least from needing heavy doses of antidepressants, etc. 

that said, I also sometimes sit and think how utterly ODD it is that we have pets...that we take these other species into our homes and they sit on our couch like they are human...but they aren't. It is pretty weird, all in all. But...i don't think I could live without them. Even when I lived in a dorm I had tiny mice in a cage. 

[SKL]

We've had small confined pets (started with fish, then parakeets, then a guinea pig) from the time the kids were 8.  Right now we only have a parakeet.

I wouldn't mind having a cat, but we have a housemate who is allergic, so that's a no.

I have said no to a dog.  My kids beg for a dog, and my sister, who breeds German shepherds, is on their side.  😛  But I don't like cleaning poop.  Also the housemates don't want an indoor dog, and I don't have the right setup for an outdoor dog unless I go to a lot of fuss and expense.  My kids are now 13.  I remind them that they are free to get all the mammals they want after they are adults on their own turf.

(I might still be willing to allow a dog if all the stars align someday.  But they probably won't.)