mother's helper pay, duties etc

[omishev]

I teach a class at the local university and do most of my work from home. The spring semester will start when #4 is about 7 weeks old and I am interested in having a mother's helper come to help with the older kids (3, 5 and 7) for a couple hours a week while I grade papers from home. I will keep the baby with me. What is reasonable pay and expectations? There is a homeschooled 12 yr old I have in mind to ask. I would want her to take them outside, play board games/puzzles, read, maybe get them a snack and have them pick up whatever messes they make. 

[wendyroo]

I think unless they are calm, super-obedient Stepford children, asking a 12 year old to care for three young kiddos is a lot.  Especially when there is a relatively small age gap between the mother's helper and the oldest child being cared for.  I know that my 6 and 8 year olds view pre-teens as their peers and would have a hard time thinking of them as authority figures...especially if the pre-teen was not entirely confident in their own authority.  I think that if I hired a mother's helper for my kids, he or she would spend most of the time preventing the kids from running to me to tattle on each other and air their grievances.

I was a mother's helper at 12, and not to toot my own horn, but I was a good one - abnormally mature for my age with very strong executive function skills.  Still, most of my jobs at that age were for one or two preschool age children.  Mostly I just sat and played cars or tea party and made sure they didn't hurt themselves or destroy the house.  I think it would have definitely increased the difficulty level adding an older child, trying to take them outside (mud and sticks and having to troop inside to take the 3 year old potty), keeping them calm and engaged to play a board game, multitask between caring for them and making a snack, etc.

Wendy

[rebcoola]

This a common arrangement here and I think your requests are reasonable.  My Dd only asks $2.00 for this kind of job because she enjoys it.  

[J-rap]

I think your requests are reasonable too, but I have no idea what the going pay would be for someone of that age.  I think Wendy's goal of just playing with them and making sure they didn't hurt themselves or the house is good!   It's probably the type of thing where you'll figure out what works best when you're actually doing it.

[caedmyn]

I would probably pay $8/hr if they did a good job.  FWIW the three mother's helpers that I've hired that were about that age had a very hard time trying to keep track of or entertain more than one kid.  But I was baby-sitting 2 or 3 kids at 12, so...I guess it depends on the 12 YO.  I wouldn't expect more than the mother's helper playing with them, and maybe giving them a pre-made snack, unless your mother's helper is exceptionally capable.

[KungFuPanda]

For a few hours a week, I would expect to pay minimum wage for that many children.  That's if you don't have a wild card and your kids would naturally go for playing in a group with a 12-year-old.  I'd also expect a day of training and setting up the system/schedule for picking up.  If your kids aren't inclined to pick up without drama when you tell them too, I'm not sure another child will pull that off.  If you truly expect them to be corralled so you can work AND tend the baby, you might need to think more of an adult assistant.  You could get really lucky and find a great kid that works out for your family, so it is worth a shot.  With a 12-year-old I'd be really careful about expectations and preparing her for the possibility of it not working out so that her feelings don't get hurt if you have to pull the plug.  If it were me, I'd treat it like a one or two time gig before I made it a regular situation just so nobody gets upset if it doesn't go the way you hope it will.  12 doesn't seem young when your oldest is 7, but it really is.

[Ottakee]

I think the right 12 year old would be fine doing this, esp. if they have younger siblings....and your kids are fairly well behaved.  At 12 I was watching up to 6 kids at a time, often making supper, picking up the house, bathing the littles and making sure the olders got clean, and putting them all to bed......all for $1/hour.  I loved it and while I wonder at what parents were thinking leaving me for 4-6 or more hours at a time.

[Frances]

3 hours ago, J-rap said:

I think your requests are reasonable too, but I have no idea what the going pay would be for someone of that age.  I think Wendy's goal of just playing with them and making sure they didn't hurt themselves or the house is good!   It's probably the type of thing where you'll figure out what works best when you're actually doing it.

I’m not sure age should come into play when determining the wage. I can’t imagine paying any less than minimum wage. 

[Farrar]

I think col makes a difference, even for paying kids. Around here, I’d definitely pay at least about $7-$8 an hour. But if you’re in a low col area, maybe less makes sense.
 

I think that sounds reasonable for a 12 yo if you’re there in case there’s a real problem.

[wendyroo]

7 minutes ago, Frances said:

I’m not sure age should come into play when determining the wage. I can’t imagine paying any less than minimum wage. 

I think there can and should be an aspect of you get what you pay for. 

If I were to hire an experienced adult to care for my children, I would have very high expectations - they should be able to easily handle snacks, assessing injuries and dealing with minor ones independently, changing a preschooler's clothes after a potty accident, etc.  But I would also expect to pay an adult a wage commensurate with their experience and their earning potential at similar jobs.

OTOH, if I were to hire a 12 year old I would have much lower expectations, and I would not expect to pay as much.

Last summer we hired a 12 year old neighbor to cut our grass two weekends in a row while we were out of town.  It takes my husband 45 minutes to mow our lawn, but we expected it would probably take the neighbor boy a bit longer...so we paid him $30 total to make sure that we were paying at least $12-15/hr.  Honestly, he did a pretty bad job - leaving whole strips unmowed, not mowing the section behind the fence or moving the Little Tykes slide to mow under it even though we had clearly outlined our expectations verbally and in writing before he took the job - but, whatever, it was good enough as a short term solution.

In comparison, we had looked into the cost of having a company come and mow and several were going to charge $40-50 per mowing...and with their power equipment it would only take them ~15 minutes!!  That means they were charging over $150 dollars an hour, ten times what we paid the 12 year old to do the same job.

Obviously, if I did hire a 12 year old for mowing or childcare and they met and exceeded my expectations, then I would increase their pay to be more in line with the high-level service they were providing.

Wendy

[vonfirmath]

7 hours ago, KungFuPanda said:

For a few hours a week, I would expect to pay minimum wage for that many children.  That's if you don't have a wild card and your kids would naturally go for playing in a group with a 12-year-old.  I'd also expect a day of training and setting up the system/schedule for picking up.  If your kids aren't inclined to pick up without drama when you tell them too, I'm not sure another child will pull that off.  If you truly expect them to be corralled so you can work AND tend the baby, you might need to think more of an adult assistant.  You could get really lucky and find a great kid that works out for your family, so it is worth a shot.  With a 12-year-old I'd be really careful about expectations and preparing her for the possibility of it not working out so that her feelings don't get hurt if you have to pull the plug.  If it were me, I'd treat it like a one or two time gig before I made it a regular situation just so nobody gets upset if it doesn't go the way you hope it will.  12 doesn't seem young when your oldest is 7, but it really is.

 

My kids are 12 and 8... I don't leave them alone with the 12 year old in charge because it just would not work.

An outside 12 year old -might- work better.

 

[QueenCat]

Much of what you'll need to pay will be based on where you live. Just like rates for babysitting fluctuate based on the area you live in, so will this kind of thing.