Educated by Tara Westover

[Jyhwkmama]

First, so happy to be back! Had a glitch with my user name and just got access this morning. Feel relieved.

I started reading Educated last night and am about 2/3 of the way through. I am a little freaked by all the violence and remember that there was a thread about it somewhere on here. Does anybody have the link to that thread?

Hope everyone is enjoying the new forum.

 

 

[Zuzu822]

I read Educated during the blackout, and was looking for the thread too. There might have been more than one, but I found this to get started: 

 

[Jyhwkmama]

That's it, Zuzu!

 

I don't know if I am going to be able to finish it. The violence has me freaked. How did you like it?

[Ausmumof3]

http://www.abc.net.au/radio/programs/conversations/tara-westover/9697204

I know this is an older thread but this interview with the author is pretty interesting.

[Zuzu822]

On 4/4/2018 at 10:12 AM, Jyhwkmama said:

That's it, Zuzu!

 

I don't know if I am going to be able to finish it. The violence has me freaked. How did you like it?

I'm sorry I never saw your reply! 

The violence freaked me out as well, and I definitely wondered if there was sexual abuse as well. I did find myself wondering if some things were exaggerated, but I started reading I'll Be Gone in the Dark, and I never followed up reading her brother's comments on Amazon, etc. It is interesting that 3 (or 4?) of the 7 siblings managed to get an education that included PhDs, but they could just be an extraordinary gifted crew that was able to rise above any educational neglect.

Oh, I forgot I did do some sleuthing and tracked down the website for her parents' essential oils company. So that was something. 

[KungFuPanda]

I bought this book last night around midnight thinking I'd read a chapter before going to sleep.  I stayed up until dawn reading it!  I do not remember the last time I did that.  it's been decades. I am a person who needs 8-9 hours.  I could not stop myself.  I got a few hours sleep, somehow pulled off my day, and finished the book this evening.  The next logical thing to do is see if there was a thread here about it.  Or even a support group. WOW! What a ride.

[Farrar]

Yeah - I read it on a trip last fall, after the other threads here. It really was a wild ride of a book. 

[HomeAgain]

I read it.  The violence, I glossed over.  After reading several uber-"religious" books like those by Debi & Michael Pearl, and knowing families who followed them, I was not shocked.  I'm not sure if that's a worse or better reaction than if I had been.

It was the complete neglect that really bothered me.  It reminded me of the Naglers.  Does anyone remember them?  The Blessed Little Homestead people where ten children were "unschooled" and sleeping all in a row on a filthy mattress in a shack.  People can live through violence and can, with help, function better as adults.  People are stunted for life when they are deliberately kept from an education which is what these people do to their kids.

[moonflower]

My mom gave me this book recently; I read the flyleaf and 3-4 pages inside. Then I tossed it.

She has a history of giving me these extreme scenario books when I'm making a lifestyle choice she doesn't approve of; when I was pregnant with our 5th child she bought me The Fifth Child by Lessing (where the fifth child turns out to be a subhuman monster and ruins everyones' lives and wouldn't it have just been easier if they'd stopped at 2 or maybe 3 like reasonable modern people); when we were poor but I still stayed home with the littles instead of getting a job and putting them in daycare she gave me The Glass Castle; now that we homeschool (though we recently enrolled the oldest 3 in PS!) and have doubts about the worth of a college degree/experience for most people and are super conservative and not too convinced about the sustainability of the current political system (that is to say we're basically  prepared in case of collapse or war), she gives me Educated. 

This is really just a mini-vent, but: none of my children are literal or even figurative Neanderthals; when we were poor no one starved or even went hungry, or had to search for dinner through the trash cans at school; when we were homeschooling my oldest daughter took Latin online and has gotten two NLE gold medals and the younger kids have learned reading and math on time, and we have the medical debt (and paid bills) to show we go to the doctor or ER when necessary. Yes, having lots of kids is more work than having 2 and there is always a risk of having one who is needier than average but that is true even if you have one child; yes, we ate a lot of beans when we were poor and bought everything used; yes, we live rurally, have sociopolitical beliefs from previous eras, and don't let our kids wear makeup.  But we're not monsters, the kids aren't fundamentally deprived or abused or neglected.

Ok, vent over.  BAH!

[PrincessMommy]

@moonflower - I understand.  We had family members who would send us newspaper clippings (back in the day) with scare stories about any number of things we did that they disapproved of:  homesbirthing, homeschooling, big families, a swimming pool (oh the horror).  

I don't think I could read the book if it's about child abuse.  I just don't want that kind of reality running through my head.  

[EKS]

I seriously don't understand why everyone loves this book.  I couldn't stand it.  

[KungFuPanda]

1 hour ago, moonflower said:

My mom gave me this book recently; I read the flyleaf and 3-4 pages inside. Then I tossed it.

She has a history of giving me these extreme scenario books when I'm making a lifestyle choice she doesn't approve of; when I was pregnant with our 5th child she bought me The Fifth Child by Lessing (where the fifth child turns out to be a subhuman monster and ruins everyones' lives and wouldn't it have just been easier if they'd stopped at 2 or maybe 3 like reasonable modern people); when we were poor but I still stayed home with the littles instead of getting a job and putting them in daycare she gave me The Glass Castle; now that we homeschool (though we recently enrolled the oldest 3 in PS!) and have doubts about the worth of a college degree/experience for most people and are super conservative and not too convinced about the sustainability of the current political system (that is to say we're basically  prepared in case of collapse or war), she gives me Educated. 

This is really just a mini-vent, but: none of my children are literal or even figurative Neanderthals; when we were poor no one starved or even went hungry, or had to search for dinner through the trash cans at school; when we were homeschooling my oldest daughter took Latin online and has gotten two NLE gold medals and the younger kids have learned reading and math on time, and we have the medical debt (and paid bills) to show we go to the doctor or ER when necessary. Yes, having lots of kids is more work than having 2 and there is always a risk of having one who is needier than average but that is true even if you have one child; yes, we ate a lot of beans when we were poor and bought everything used; yes, we live rurally, have sociopolitical beliefs from previous eras, and don't let our kids wear makeup.  But we're not monsters, the kids aren't fundamentally deprived or abused or neglected.

Ok, vent over.  BAH!

It's not about homeschooling.  They didn't actually do it; just said they did.  It's more about how a mentally ill parent can create a very chaotic family and how people can normalize almost anything . . . until they can't anymore.

[LucyStoner]

On 5/18/2019 at 4:57 AM, moonflower said:

My mom gave me this book recently; I read the flyleaf and 3-4 pages inside. Then I tossed it.

She has a history of giving me these extreme scenario books when I'm making a lifestyle choice she doesn't approve of;

when I was pregnant with our 5th child she bought me The Fifth Child by Lessing (where the fifth child turns out to be a subhuman monster and ruins everyones' lives and wouldn't it have just been easier if they'd stopped at 2 or maybe 3 like reasonable modern people);

when we were poor but I still stayed home with the littles instead of getting a job and putting them in daycare she gave me The Glass Castle.

 

Oh my goodness.  

And here I thought my MIL was annoying for sending me clippings about circumcision we we decided not to circumcise our sons.  

Your mom is worse.  I thought nothing could be worse than The Fifth Child while pregnant with a fifth child (really?! WTF) but The Glass Castle because you were poor may be worse.  

I’m sorry about your mom.  That’s not a great way to be treated.  

Edited May 20, 2019 by LucyStoner