Dr. Hive - a mental illness question for you.

[Night Elf]

So I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder before I was diagnosed with bipolar 2. Supposedly I have both. My hypomanic episodes are irritability, fast thought and speech, and getting easily overexcited about something in particular that usually has me in a top notch position, i.e. I'd be better than everyone else because I'm special. Okay? My psych doc said that's all bipolar.

 

So I've had 3 episodes in the past 6 months that are quite bizarre. I feel high anxiety, like through the roof anxiety, and feel transparent like I have holes in me or I'm made of pixelated blocks. (Don't worry, I don't mind discussing my symptoms. I've got nothing to hide.) These are truly weird feelings! Has anyone heard of anything like this? My psych doc says these are part of my hypomania. Could this be anything else? Like I really need another diagnosis, right? I'm not overly concerned, just curious. 

 

And I'm asking because I'm having an episode right now. My chest and limbs feel tight which is anxiety, but I also feel like there is a huge hole in my chest. It's so hard to explain. 

 

I just had lunch so I need to wait a while, but my mom suggested I get on the treadmill when I'm feeling high anxiety. She thinks a good cardio workout would help calm me down. I'm willing to try it but I need to digest my food first. The last time this happened, about a week ago, I used my weighted blanket and put a hot doubled over rice pack on my chest because I needed the compression. I don't feel a need for compression right now really but I might try it anyway to see if I can get this feeling in my chest to go away.

 

I'm such a hot mess!

[eternalsummer]

When my anxiety was high as as kid (I am undiagnosed with any mental disorder and anxiety doesn't disrupt my life significantly now) I would sometimes get a feeling that I was very large or very small.  Not like, fat or thin, but like filling the room and the street and the universe or a tiny pinprick, the size of a mouse, etc.  It was especially pronounced in the dark.

 

If I have had waaaay too much caffeine I can still get this feeling on occasion, though it is easy to dispel.

 

I have no advice, just wanted to offer that point of similarity.  It's a weird feeling.

[maize]

No real insight into the feeling of having holes, but I do think your mom's suggestion of exercise is good. I believe that anxiety kind of primes our body for physical action and then if we don't do something with that we just have excessive stress molecules or something floating around.

[Night Elf]

I just told my DH what frustrates me is I don't know exactly what I'm feeling. Am I having an anxiety attack or a bipolar episode? My psych doc says some of my anxiety is the bipolar coming out. When I had that episode last week, she increased my anxiety meds to double. She said when the anxiety resolves, drop down to a slightly lower dosage. So I took the double dose for 4 days and didn't feel anxious anymore so I lowered the med. It's still more than what I was taking before the episode hit me. However, I seem to be having another episode. I guess I need to email her and ask her if I should  go back up again. I'm just so confused. 

[EmseB]

Have you gone to your GP or a cardiologist with any of this? Not to add to your anxiety, but with those feelings/symptoms, I'd want to rule out any heart problems.

[GinaPagnato]

Have you looked at the DSM criteria for bipolar 1/2? Do you feel that you fit the criteria?

 

If so, then, yes, your episodes sound like hypomania. Your best friends will be the proper meds, a predictable sleep pattern, CBT and DBT therapies, and regular exercise. Also, look for a mood tracker app to download so you can chart and journal to find patterns.

 

When it rains it pours sometimes!

[Night Elf]

Have you gone to your GP or a cardiologist with any of this? Not to add to your anxiety, but with those feelings/symptoms, I'd want to rule out any heart problems.

 

I did before I went to behavioral health but I don't remember the length of time between the two. I was having shortness of breath and chest tightness and they ran tests on me to see if I had a heart problem. They even checked for asthma. In the end, my GP determined it was anxiety and nothing more was said. Sometime after that, my GP put me on an antidepressant because I was exhibiting depression. I had been on antidepressants before that with no problems. However, this time, it kicked me into a major hypomanic episode. I was in bad shape for days and my DH finally ordered me to go see a psychiatrist because he felt something was seriously wrong with me. That was when I was diagnosed with bipolar 2. 

 

I sent an email to my psych doc before I got on the treadmill. I'll wait and see what she says. I can email her back and ask her if she thinks I should see my GP but I had an EKG last October because of a certain med I'm on. I have one every year.

[Terabith]

I was diagnosed with bipolar first, but actually my counselor is thinking that it's possible that my issues are actually anxiety and ptsd.  There's definitely been depression, but historically my hypomania has come out as anxiety.  Many, many, many years ago, there were issues with fast talking/ thinking, etc, but in retrospect, I think that was in response to anxiety.  I've never had full fledged mania.  Exercise does help, and a psychiatrist explained it to me this way:  When you're having an anxiety attack, you have certain physiological symptoms like higher heart rate, faster breathing, etc.  If you exercise, then your body says, "Ah, yes!  I know why I feel this way.  I'm having these symptoms because of the exercise.  Whew!  I can relax now."  And honestly, it seems to hold steady. 

 

When I'm feeling really anxious, I often feel brittle and as if I might shatter.  I can definitely see feeling like you have holes.  It's sort of metaphorical, but your brain makes it feel real.

[Night Elf]

Have you looked at the DSM criteria for bipolar 1/2? Do you feel that you fit the criteria?

 

If so, then, yes, your episodes sound like hypomania. Your best friends will be the proper meds, a predictable sleep pattern, CBT and DBT therapies, and regular exercise. Also, look for a mood tracker app to download so you can chart and journal to find patterns.

 

When it rains it pours sometimes!

 

Oh yes, I definitely exhibit bipolar 2 symptoms or whatever you want to call them. I was diagnosed in 2010 I think and I was then rapid cycling between depression and hypomania. It was terrible. It took a while to find the right med cocktail to stabilize me but then I was on those same meds for years until about 6 months ago. I can't remember exactly, but I started cycling again.

 

I am on a regular sleep cycle but use sleeping medication or I can't sleep. Without the medication, I don't sleep more than a few hours a night.

 

I'm not currently in therapy. I go off and on as needed. The last time was last year and both my therapist and I felt there was nothing more I could learn once we tackled the issues I went in with in the first place. I can go back to her anytime but I don't know what I'd say. These anxious feelings and bipolar episodes aren't tied to anything specific. In other words, I don't think anything in my life is a trigger. They just seem to come out of no where. One minute I'm feeling fine and the next I'm a mess. 

[Night Elf]

I was diagnosed with bipolar first, but actually my counselor is thinking that it's possible that my issues are actually anxiety and ptsd.  There's definitely been depression, but historically my hypomania has come out as anxiety.  Many, many, many years ago, there were issues with fast talking/ thinking, etc, but in retrospect, I think that was in response to anxiety.  I've never had full fledged mania.  Exercise does help, and a psychiatrist explained it to me this way:  When you're having an anxiety attack, you have certain physiological symptoms like higher heart rate, faster breathing, etc.  If you exercise, then your body says, "Ah, yes!  I know why I feel this way.  I'm having these symptoms because of the exercise.  Whew!  I can relax now."  And honestly, it seems to hold steady. 

 

When I'm feeling really anxious, I often feel brittle and as if I might shatter.  I can definitely see feeling like you have holes.  It's sort of metaphorical, but your brain makes it feel real.

 

Yes, it's like my mind is split. Part of it is trying to convince me I have a serious problem but the other part knows there is nothing wrong.

 

I walked hard for 30 minutes. I can't say I feel any different now that I'm done. I still feel the tightness and the hole. I don't feel like crying anymore though. It's like I've reached an acceptance of my current state. This is who I am and I have to cope. 

[Peaceseeker]

If you are hypomanic then you have all that extra energy but nothing to do with it. I am sure that can feel very strange. I know high anxiety can make me super squirrelly. Exercise is one option. House cleaning also might help- possibly try tackling a cluttered closet or something like that while you figure out your appropriate medicine dosages with your doctor. It might take your mind off your symptoms for a bit and give you something to do with yourself for a while.

 

I hope you feel better soon!

Edited February 7, 2018 by CaliforniaDreaming

[GoodGrief]

Sometimes cardio exercise can make the feeling of anxiety worse, maybe because of the increasing heartrate? That may vary from person to person though.

[JFSinIL]

You might be cycling again if one or more meds has stopped working for you :-(   Ds has gone through this twice.  Even changed doctors as one doc simply kept increasing the  dosage of the med that was no longer working!  New doc. weaned off it and tried a couple others, one at a time, to find a new drug "right" for ds.

 

New doc also noticed first doc had DS taking one med at bedtime that should have been in the morning - no wonder he had insomnia!  Sleep improved when the one med was changed to morning rather than bedtime!!!!!

Edited February 8, 2018 by JFSinIL

[8circles]

I have GAD also but not BP. I sometimes have the sensation of all of a sudden being too tall, as if I'm on stilts or something. So I get the weird feeling about having holes. It doesn't make any sense yet there is it.

 

I would try to channel my energy to try to distract myself. Tracking your moods would also be good. It sounds like maybe you'll need to change one of your meds.

 

[Granny_Weatherwax]

Did the episode begin before or after you had lunch? Could there be a correlation between what you ate or when you ate and how you feel?

 

I second the idea that maybe you may need to have your meds re-evaluated. Esp if the higher dose seemed to help and the lower dose saw an increase in symptoms.

 

:grouphug:  Trying to figure things out stinks but I think it's wonderful that you are able to assess yourself honestly and have your DH and mom to support you.

 

Oh, one more thing...just because you can't identify any new triggers that may have caused your current episodes, your subconscious may think otherwise. Seeing your therapist and having an 'update' appointment might be beneficial. It's like a tune-up for your brain. You've had some changes - DS moving back home, volunteering - and that might be affecting your subconscious thought processes.

 

 

 

 

[nixpix5]

Eternalsummers description of feeling big or small reminded me of a teen with diagnosed bipolar that I worked with. She would describe that while she was lying in bed, especially in the dark, her hands felt huge or she felt like she was a different size. Sometimes she said she felt like she was full of beanbag beans but she would also say she had moments of feeling like she was made out of legos.

 

She was the only teen with bipolar I ever worked with who described body sensation differences like this. She also had high levels of anxiety too. I always had the sneaky suspicion her diagnosis was not entirely accurate. Her hypo cycle met criteria but she always seemed to be able to maintain a rational presence even when her thoughts were all over the place. She never lost her ability to be logical about herself which isn't always the case with bipolar in those moments.

[UncleEJ]

Eternalsummers description of feeling big or small reminded me of a teen with diagnosed bipolar that I worked with. She would describe that while she was lying in bed, especially in the dark, her hands felt huge or she felt like she was a different size. Sometimes she said she felt like she was full of beanbag beans but she would also say she had moments of feeling like she was made out of legos.

 

She was the only teen with bipolar I ever worked with who described body sensation differences like this. She also had high levels of anxiety too. I always had the sneaky suspicion her diagnosis was not entirely accurate. Her hypo cycle met criteria but she always seemed to be able to maintain a rational presence even when her thoughts were all over the place. She never lost her ability to be logical about herself which isn't always the case with bipolar in those moments.

 

I don't have any (diagnosed) mental illnesses but I have that feeling from time to time. Ever since I can remember. It's usually my hands and arms feel WAY to big in space. I look at them and they look fine, but they don't feel fine. Its super weird.