Boycotting Christmas - anyone done this?

[Jaybee]

I would be very tempted to send out an email to everybody stating something like,"Due to our recent move and other factors, I will not be doing our traditional foods for Christmas this year. For our main Christmas meal, I will be making ___________ (something involving fewer dishes or something such--less intensive than a load of traditional dishes). The rest of you can help out by contributing _______________. Thank you for understanding. I think we will enjoy our new traditions!" And then do it. Just try to choose something that you wouldn't mind repeating in future years. For example, our traditional Christmas Eve meal is lasagna. I just make a huge pan of it. Then I make homemade bread (but it would be easy to substitute loaves of store-bought French bread), and a salad. Dessert is ice cream with a couple of sauce options. It cuts down considerably on the work, I can make the lasagna ahead of time, and our kids love it. When we have had a couple of Christmases on the move, we made it work with take-out lasagna from a restaurant, or even Stouffer's. With some candles on the table and Christmas music in the background, it's always been quite festive. (Since I rarely make lasagna aside from Christmas, it isn't like I'm cooking an everyday something.)

 

This is a good year to initiate a change! 

[Annie G]

My favorite holiday book is Skipping Christmas and my favorite holiday song is All I want for Christmas is a Real Good Tan.  For about a decade I have told my family that one year I am really going to skip it and go to Florida and just lie on the beach. Still waiting for that year to arrive. 

 

In my defense, I have been a parent for 35 years. I'm just tired. I fought the good fight and pulled off a nice Christmas for a long time. I'm just done. 

[Guest]

I do all the Christmas things because I want to. I love Christmas. It is my favorite holiday season.

 

I don’t really understand “boycotting†Christmas. Do the stuff that means something to you; don’t do the other things. I don’t think the Christmas Police are going to come fine you because you didn’t want to put candlelights in all the windows this year.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Nah...it's pretty low key here anyway.

 

 

[Lady Florida.]

I do all the Christmas things because I want to. I love Christmas. It is my favorite holiday season.

 

I don’t really understand “boycotting†Christmas. Do the stuff that means something to you; don’t do the other things. I don’t think the Christmas Police are going to come fine you because you didn’t want to put candlelights in all the windows this year.

 

Yes, this. I love all the activity surrounding Christmas. However, I only do what I want to do. Anyone who wants more can contribute. I stopped sending cards 4 or 5 years ago because I didn't want to send them anymore. Before that I cut it down to only long distance family and friends. If people I want to say Merry Christmas to are local then I would just do it in person. We don't get many cards anymore (that was slowing down before I stopped so it's not like people don't send us cards because we don't send cards to them). I think that's just something that phased itself out among my family and circle of friends.

 

I enjoy baking cookies so I bake cookies. I started that tradition with my niece when she was 8 years old, and we added ds to it once he was old enough to help. She's now 29 and the mother of three. She brings her twins here and we've continued the tradition. When I get to the point that I can't do it anymore I'll tell her. She'll understand and will at least have great memories (so will her kids). Ds 20 still likes to join in but even when he doesn't he helps keep her kids involved and keeps them from getting bored during the not-as-much-fun part of the process.

 

I like to decorate the tree so I do. Dh and ds put up outdoor lights because we all enjoy looking at them. 

 

I used to host Christmas (and Thanksgiving) dinner but dss and ddil took that over when their oldest (now 5) was born. They mentioned at Thanksgiving that now that the boys are older they wouldn't mind traveling elsewhere instead of hosting. If they want us to host again I'll be glad to. If her mother wants to host I'll happily bring my assigned side dish (fortunately our families all get along and celebrate the big holidays together). 

 

All of the above are things I like to do. I like to do it because it makes my people happy and I like making my people happy. However, I do my best to keep it all at a level that isn't stressful. I can't imagine boycotting everything. 

 

OP I think you've been given some good suggestions. Make new traditions. Your family will come to terms with it. If you're close enough to express how stressful it all is for you then be upfront with them. Maybe they don't realize it and think you enjoy all the fuss. At the very least they'll be forced to look at their involvement in the planning and preparations and will hopefully help you come up with some new ideas.

[elegantlion]

We buy presents, but not really surprises, just things we pick out together. We really quit Christmas a few years ago. Ex made the holiday intolerable with his woe and whining about being broke, yet still wanting to buy big gifts. Yes, this year we're broke, so what, buy me a candy bar and write a note - I don't care. My dad loved Christmas he died in November 2 years ago. So that Christmas was pretty bad emotionally and since ds and I got a house with my mom, we don't decorate. We never did big baking - you really don't want me baking. 

 

We did more traditional stuff when ds was little and we weren't broke. It was fun, but I'm glad to not worry about that now. I quit sending cards about a decade ago, Now that I'm in school, winter break is a time to relax, not fill my schedule with more activities. 

 

We don't have any other family nearby, so it's just us. We're all pretty private and quiet, so we like the peacefulness.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

We are going to party like it's 1881. One gift each, a stocking with treats, bake cookies, trim the tree, sing some carols, a dinner just for the people who live here, and visiting one family. After that, it's movie marathons and a break!

 

(We are going to be christmas'ed out by the end of this coming weekend - too many church concerts and community parties and performances.)

Edited December 6, 2017 by Tibbie Dunbar

[shawthorne44]

I did one year when DD was a baby.   I lluurrrrve Christmas, and it made me very sad but I just didn't have the energy.   My sweet and lovely husband who is a bit of a Grinch put up the tree while I slept.  I get warm and fuzzy just thinking about it.  

 

I have made a conscious effort to cut down on the present buying to be the nearest and dearest.   Social pressure gifting makes me grumpy.   

[ksr5377]

Well, if I turned everything over to my DH then Christmas could come and go and no one in this house would have even noticed.  Especially my DH.  

 

This year, in an attempt to not feel so stressed, I am imposing limits.  All of my stress comes from ME feeling that the whole list must be done.  No one else is demanding that of me. 

 

So as for the limits, this is my plan.  We scheduled decorating for the weekend after Thanksgiving. That was it.  I did not allow myself to run around finishing everything the week after.  The priority was the tree and some outdoor lights.  Everything else that we were able to get out was a bonus.  Are all of my decorations perfectly placed around the house? Nope, but a lot of them are out and the kids had fun and I didn't have to live with Christmas storage totes out the next 2 weeks.  

 

This weekend my plan is to begin baking.  I set hours.  If it's not done by that time then oh well.  We'll live with 4 types of cookies instead of 6, or maybe even just 2 types!  I am not going to stay up until 1am making the last of the cookies and cleaning the whole kitchen on my own.  

 

I am hoping that will keep things from getting out of hand for me, but not actually eliminate anything that I really do want to do for the Christmas season.  My children can still have memories of baking cookies with mom and maybe mom will be happy in the memories instead of exhausted and crazed  :lol:

[8circles]

Do what you want, leave the rest with no guilt.

 

Like I always say to my kids, "I am not your cruise director."

 

I decorate as much as I want every year - which is a lot less than most people I know. I used to not decorate at all outside but my kids wanted to. So they told me what they wanted and I put it on my list, bought the lights they requested after Xmas and they started decorating the following year and have every year since. Done. It isn't like the Jones's - the conifer right outside the front door is very Charlie-Brown-Xmas but we love it & the neighbors even comment how much they like it.

 

I do stockings on Sv Mikulas because I want to.

 

I may or may not make a traditional Xmas Eve meal. I started collecting fabric bags to use & re-use every year so I don't need to wrap presents. Sometimes I've even used pillowcases.

 

I decided that Xmas cards were too stressful so I stopped. DH wanted to continue, so he now does it himself.

 

Done. Xmas is not just about everyone else - I'm part of it too. My role is not just to make everyone else happy.

 

And I get to focus on the parts that feed *my* soul - the relaxed family time, the music, the spiritual new beginning, the choosing of gifts for my loved ones.

[Tap]

Not me, but my BIL and SIL one year did.

 

They scrapped all the traditional Christmas and spent the week at Disney, onsite with all the more fancy privileges instead. They are not a rich family, so it wasn't a typical vacation for them.  They left before Christmas so the lack of tree and decorations, wasn't as big of a deal to the kids.  They came back after Christmas to a clean house and nothing but suitcases to put away.  AFAIK the kids were happy with the agreement. 

 

 

 

If I tried to scrap Christmas in my house, Dh may try to do some of it himself, but I would never in my lifetime figure out where he put anything.

Edited December 6, 2017 by Tap

[JustEm]

If I boycotted Christmas dh would happily take over and spend way too much money lavishing all of us with everything we wanted. We can't afford that so it is a good thing I love all the craziness of christmas

[mamaraby]

Xmas is not just about everyone else - I'm part of it too. My role is not just to make everyone else happy.

I think the take away is this. Teach yourself and your children that Christmas is not just your responsibility to do for them, but that it’s a collaborative effort.

 

Likewise, mom is not the only one responsible for the emotional labor involved in making the home. The people who live there can take part at whatever level they are capable of participating. Consider it part of school - you’re raising future adults so raise the kind that help out, that feel empowered to help make the holidays, and that fully participate in life.

 

Heck, help teach the other adults in your life to pull their own weight. Visitors, even those who travel, can help with food. You are not, as 8 also mentions, their cruise director. If that’s what they’re expecting, then they’re going to have to pay extra for that service. :p