I wish that I could go condo or townhome JAWM

[Caroline]

Would your DH notice if the china disappeared? I mean, if you aren't using it... By the way, my gold rimmed dishes go in the dishwasher alll the time and they are still the same as when I received them 25 years ago. I also have some pieces that are probably 60 years old that belonged to my mom's friend, who also put them in the dishwasher.

Edited September 12, 2017 by Caroline

[regentrude]

They came to visit us and brought the box of family photos. Told me to pick what I wanted, so I did pick a few, not wanting to appear greedy. That night Dad took them to the curb and put them beside our trash can!  Thankfully dh rescued them and I have them, but guys, these were ALL the family photos we have. Pics of my great grandmother who escaped East Germany....childhood pics of my parents who were born in the 1930's. WHO PUTS THOSE OUT WITH TRASH????

 

I can see why he would do that. Why should 80+ year old people hang on to boxes of old photographs their kids don't want to keep?

[EMS83]

Just reading this.   :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[Peaceseeker]

This is a timely post as just yesterday I watched a documentary on minimalism. I have downsized a lot by necessity (family of 4 from almost 3000 square feet to 800 square feet) but I have a storage shed that is busting full at the seams that needs to be gone through AGAIN. As I stored my daughter's most recent recital consumes there I asked myself why in the neck I always saved them all? We get pictures of her in them every year! I decided it was because I spend $75-$100 a piece for her to wear them one time so it is hard to toss them even though they just sit there taking up space!

 

The documentary was a good reminder I should be careful with the things I bring into my life. I have been slipping lately and I can't go back. It was an almost debilitating level of stress for me to have so many things to take care of before. For some people I know taking care of a big house or land can bring them joy. I am not that person, and I feel much more free without those responsibilities (including the responsibility of great big mortgages and all the financial stresses of keeping property).

 

I am reshuffling/redecorating some things around in our current space trying again to make it all work (1200-1500 square feet would be perfect for us right now really but 800 is what I have until the renovation is done). As I stripped my living room of everything including drapes it gave me a huge sense of relief to see an empty uncluttered room. When I got everything resettled I didn't even put the drapes back up because I am finding the empty walls soothing. I could see where over time it might feel cold and unwelcoming but right now it is like a breath of fresh air. Clutter and stuff can feel very oppressive to me. I feel much better already.

[prairiewindmomma]

I can see why he would do that. Why should 80+ year old people hang on to boxes of old photographs their kids don't want to keep?

 

When we came to this situation two years ago, I photographed all of the photographs and gave everyone a usb drive. I wasn't a sibling entitled to keep the photographs, iykwim, but I hated that all of my grandmother's photos were going to be binned over a territorial dispute.  It's my 10 year goal to get the very old ones (daguerrotypes and tintypes) uploaded to Ancestry.

[Guest]

I can see why he would do that. Why should 80+ year old people hang on to boxes of old photographs their kids don't want to keep?

Yeah, and this assumes he didn't make digital copies, too.

[Annie G]

I can see why he would do that. Why should 80+ year old people hang on to boxes of old photographs their kids don't want to keep?

 

All four of us wanted them- we thought they were just offering us a few- had no idea they didn't want them anymore. 

 

So I have all of them that were at the curb. A couple of years after that Dad called and asked for them back.  He kind of has a habit of that- giving me some family history thing and then later asking for it back. 

 

As we do more downsizing I'll probably scan the pics we have and then toss them. You're right- not many people want a box of old pictures. 

[Annie G]

Yeah, and this assumes he didn't make digital copies, too.

 

Nope, no digital copies. He just wasn't sentimental at all. Until he lost my mom. Then he wanted the pics back and became more sentimental. 

[Hikin' Mama]

I am so there with you! I just decluttered my entire house and we still have too much crap. My dh wants to get rid of nothing, ever. We can't downsize until we sell our business, which will probably be at least ten years, but I am ready NOW.

[Hikin' Mama]

Me too. I occasionally mention to dh that when ds2 moves out we should move into a small townhouse or even just a smaller house. He thinks we need more house and a lot more property--he wants what you have with the acreage and large garage units. He grew up in the country and longs for the wide spaces. I grew up in the city, with six of us in a small townhouse.

My husband wants a bigger house (ours is already 3000 sf) when we retire and land with a herd of cattle. I might sound like a meany, but I've repeatedly said NO and NO.

[Hikin' Mama]

Yeah, I know it and I do. I literally wrote a book about decluttering.

You wrote a book? I would love to read it! Title please. ðŸ˜

[Spryte]

I hear you.

 

And, oh my, silver tea and coffee services. I have four sets. FOUR. Gasp. Sigh.

 

We cleaned out my mom's house a year ago. It was brutal. I was brutal. But there's still so much stuff. 3 sets of china. Four tea and coffee services complete with family history. Glasses of every sort. So. Many. Demitasse. Cups. And it's all from the 1850s. What do I do with it??? (Help!)

 

I have stored box upon box, for now. We use what works with our style, and when it breaks I just move on. But, really, I can't keep this all. We have space but it makes me feel encumbered.

 

What does one do with all this?

[Guest]

You wrote a book? I would love to read it! Title please. ðŸ˜

It's only available by exclusive invitation. (That's a preferential way of saying it is not published.) But if you want a copy, PM me. 😇

[Bluegoat]

I'm thinking one thing that may cure DH is whenever the time comes to clean out his parents' home/farm. DH is very much like his mom in terms of propensity to keep stuff. That house...holy moly. You would not walk in and think, "wow, so cluttered!" But when you start opening the multitude of closets, eaves attics, storage spaces, big dressers...there is a staggering amount of stuff. One SIL's bedroom is still just as furnished and outfitted as if she lived there, which she hasn't for over twenty years. And then there are barns and outbuildings, shops, garage, chicken house, basement. It's daunting.

 

This happened somewhat to my dh, but it was when we moved and he had to clean out his garage.  There was so much junk, and things that had been ruined by being stored, he filled a huge bin with trash.

 

He's been a lot better since then.

 

I'd like to retire to somewhere closer to downtown too - not the big downtown, but the closer little one.  Not have too much house to maintain, shop every day and such, have my garden in the park instead of a big yard.  Dh though would hate it - he wants to go further out in the country, have big hobby stuff and dogs.  

 

I feel like if I am in the country, I want a bigger place rather than a smaller one, since I will have to live my life in the house or drive all the time.  The driving thing makes me kind of depressed, I am getting to hate it more and more.

 

Best case scenario for us I think is a large village or small town where we can be close to things but also very close to rural things.

[FriedClams]

I will not be any help. We're renting a townhouse. I LOVE it. Other than the fact that it's dark (we're an interior unit) I love it. Huge hurricane...No worries about clean up. Lawn care...zero. Love love love

[elegantlion]

I'm already contemplating graduate housing, just me and what I need to study for two glorious years. Because I currently live with my mom and ds, most of my stuff can stay here. I won't have yardwork, I won't have to shovel snow. I really want to live on campus or really close so I can walk most of the time. 

 

I've been downsizing, but when we combined two homes, I had to basically put my house into 2 rooms, the kitchen is combined, ds had his own space of course. 

 

One day I may be able to feel organized, this is not that day. 

 

I could live in a tiny house by myself, like 400sf would be great. 

[frogger]

I do want less but honestly I'm still using everything. Really, with 4 kids at home that means 6 bikes, 6 sleeping bags, each indivdual hobby from sewing machines to insturments or legos to school work and medical paperwork coming in from 6 humans. Yes, we have a ton of books but I actually do go through and get rid of stuff as the last child ages out of them but for the most part everything is used but it is difficult to stay on top of everything so I still look forward to downsizing, while trying to enjoy the here and now as I don't want to wish my life away. I am blessed with helpful kids and I know many have even bigger families but I'm feeling a little worn out.

[Guest]

In our old big house we just bought a ton of stuff because storage wasn't an issue.  I use the pronoun "we" loosely.  Anyway, "we" admit that now and are remorseful.  

 

I knew a woman a long time ago who had decided (with her husband) that there was a certain amount of storage in their house and that was IT.  So if something had to go in there, something had to come out.  I always thought that was a good idea, but it takes 2 to make that work.  That said, after our talks, I made up a series of questions I ask before each purchase over $20.  

 

One is a reality check:  REALLY?  Are you REALLY going to use that/do you REALLY need that?

One is a space check:  Where's it going to go?  What's there now?  Where are you going to put that?  if something is in THAT place, where does THAT go?

One is a care check:  How much time and money are you going to have to spend on this over the next year, both in care, and in keeping.  If it is going to take time then I ask, "REALLY, are you REALLY going to do that?" and money "REALLY?  You're going to spend that much every year to keep this item?"

Last is a "love it" check:  Do you really love this one?  What if you find one that has this feature you are giving up?  What are you going to do then?  Will you still be happy with this?  And do you really want this thing, or are you trying to impress someone else or keep up with someone else? 

 

To tell the truth, by the time I have answered half the questions, I walk away.  It might be that I am boring myself to death, but it might also be that the questions uncovered something that needed to be uncovered.

 

And still, I have too much stuff.  Well, guess what room I am working on today? My "space".  Putting on the Clapton and here I go!

 

 

[knoxinsox]

After spending a crazy amount of time the last few years decluttering, so we could move with my hubby's jobs...my #1 rule is "How hard is it going to be to get rid of it?"  and the #2 rule is "How hard is it going to be to transport?"   I basically stopped bringing stuff into the house. 

 

I never thought I would be interested in minimalism, just decluttering, but it is the most freeing thing I have done.  I have more space, more money in the bank and more time, since I don't shop for fun anymore.  Its so much easier to clean now, and we can reset to zero in just a few minutes per room.   Did I mention we can find everything because everything has a home? 

 

I still have a few projects left, but I keep working on them. I declutter as I clean--more of a maintenance thing now.  Every time we move it gets faster to pack and unpack.  I miss my freezer initially, but I have lived just fine without it, ditto for the microwave, dryer, all the extra dishes, and all but a small shelf of my books. 

 

Hubby is not really on board with minimalism, and there is always grumbling about "living in a shed."  

 

[kewb]

I am a hodgepodge of minimalism desire and hoarder.

I am not a shopper so I am not frequently changing up my decor for the seasons but I have difficulty letting some things go. It was liberating when I tossed a bunch of vacation photos that I had no idea why I took in the first place. You know, those pictures of a cow in a field and I can't even tell you where that field exists. Why? Why was I hanging on to that? At the same time I can't toss that awful baby picture. It's not cute at all but there it sits.

I save screws, and foam bits, and tablecloths I haven't used in decades because they are still good. Although, to be fair, that foam did come in handy after hurricane Sandy for filling the gap in the window where the extension cord from our neighbors house was entering the kitchen to keep our fridge running. I love those neighbors. So then I feel justified in my savings stuff.

The struggle is real.

[Hikin' Mama]

It's only available by exclusive invitation. (That's a preferential way of saying it is not published.) But if you want a copy, PM me. 😇

PM'd you. :)

[Guest]

I am a hodgepodge of minimalism desire and hoarder.

I am not a shopper so I am not frequently changing up my decor for the seasons but I have difficulty letting some things go. It was liberating when I tossed a bunch of vacation photos that I had no idea why I took in the first place. You know, those pictures of a cow in a field and I can't even tell you where that field exists. Why? Why was I hanging on to that? At the same time I can't toss that awful baby picture. It's not cute at all but there it sits.

I save screws, and foam bits, and tablecloths I haven't used in decades because they are still good. Although, to be fair, that foam did come in handy after hurricane Sandy for filling the gap in the window where the extension cord from our neighbors house was entering the kitchen to keep our fridge running. I love those neighbors. So then I feel justified in my savings stuff.

The struggle is real.

I understand this, too, because I am sometimes at war with myself in a similar way. I like to go lightly upon the environment, so that is one thing that comes up - I say something like, "Well, I know I hate this shampoo, but it's one more bottle that will have to be recycled...I should just keep it and use it as a back-up..." Well, you know that never happens because I don't want to use the sh!t shampoo I hate and so I never do run out of the preferred shampoo.

 

One of my other sticking points is when something was expensive but either I have now finished using it (i.e., microscope) or it never turned out to work for me to begin with (i.e. MCT complete core). I'm not a seller. I hate selling stuff. I do take things to our co-op's annual curriculum sale, and sometimes that moves things, but never a home run and it was such a pain to bring it all and price it all, only to bring 80% of it right back home. And yes, I have just gone directly to GW and donated all the no-sales, and generally I do not regret doing that (after the fact). But it sort of hurts to do it before the fact. I just try to tell myself that there is some young homeschool mama who really needs those things and I will be blessing her with them.

 

And it does happen sometimes that I decide to keep something and later I say, "Oh, good! Because that is actually perfect for __________." My DS just brought an old desktop computer back to life here; it's useful for him while he's doing this music engineering thing and needs multiple computers operating together. That computer has been sitting around being nothing but a photo album for five or more years. So then I'm glad I'm not quick about getting rid of old tech (mainly just because I don't have a clue how to).

 

All this is just to say that even someone who has a reputation for being organized and having a clean house does maybe have her struggles, too.