Pen Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 I have a chronic illness and getting my ds to/from his activities especially ice skating which is in a city around 20 miles away is hard. A 17yo who lives in our rural area a few miles away on weekends (her family has an apartment in city to ease commuting during the week) says she could take ds to/from sometimes in exchange for some $ help. She is also a skater and we have gotten to know her a bit around the rink. She has been driving for around 7 months, and by our state laws can now legally transport another minor who is not a family memeber. My biggest concern is driving safety. How long she says it takes her to drive in is much shorter than it takes me, which concerns me about her driving speed. But she also lives closer to city than we do by several miles, and the route she described is different than what I have used and may be a faster way to go that I will be glad to learn of (I'll try it next time). She is taking a route that is longer in miles, but has fewer stoplights. Her time schedule is different and she needs to leave at 6:30am to get to the rink at 7, while he does not have to there till 10, but we think he could take schoolwork and work on it at the rink while waiting for his lesson. What questions would you ask--especially of the girl's parent, since I want to talk to them since she is still a minor to make sure this is okay with them if we do it? How much would you offer to pay to help with the $ part? I'm thinking to have her drive ds just home the first time, if we do this, so there won't be a rush to be getting in at a particular time, and also so he can show her exactly where he lives ... and maybe so I can follow along and get my own feeling for her driving skills (or is that too helicoptery or likely to create worse driving due to anxiety?)... What thoughts or concerns or ideas does this bring up that I should think of? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 (edited) First, for the different route, I'd google map it and see what driving time google suggests. I would simply ask the parents directly if they would have any concerns about allowing their daughter to drive your DS. I would not follow behind her; while I understand your anxiety, this would make a young driver very nervous. I also don't think that this gives you any actual insight into her driving skills. Have you asked the girl how much she would expect to be paid? Edited December 1, 2016 by regentrude 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kroe1 Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 We had teenage drivers for DD for years. We let them drive our car because it has top of the line safety features and is a tank. I would not let them drive DD in their own cars. To me, the type of car is just as concerning as the driver. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauraw4321 Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 I would be cautious about paying her to drive him because it can have insurance consequences. If I remember correctly, insurance would consider her to be running a taxi and thus he wouldn't be covered as her guest in the event of an accident. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted December 1, 2016 Author Share Posted December 1, 2016 First, for the different route, I'd google map it and see what driving time google suggests. I would simply ask the parents directly if they would have any concerns about allowing their daughter to drive your DS. I would not follow behind her; while I understand your anxiety, this would make a young driver very nervous. I also don't think that this gives you any actual insight into her driving skills. Have you asked the girl how much she would expect to be paid? Good ideas. She said she has no idea and asked me to please come up with some amount. She is trying to cover her own costs mainly now, and it sounds like gas money is a problem paycheck to paycheck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted December 1, 2016 Author Share Posted December 1, 2016 We had teenage drivers for DD for years. We let them drive our car because it has top of the line safety features and is a tank. I would not let them drive DD in their own cars. To me, the type of car is just as concerning as the driver. She has some sort of truck. I presume used and I've not seen it. This is a good point! I would be cautious about paying her to drive him because it can have insurance consequences. If I remember correctly, insurance would consider her to be running a taxi and thus he wouldn't be covered as her guest in the event of an accident. Thank you for telling me that!!! I wonder if help with gas money is okay though...that seems like it would be a normal thing for a guest to do, and what she most needs. Beyond that maybe something could be done as her helping him with his schoolwork -- or even making sure he is doing schoolwork most of the time when he is waiting for his skating lesson and not playing computer games the whole time. She's an IB program junior and in terms of academics might be a good influence on him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wendy not in HI Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 I think it's great that you found her. My kids are older and I don't need a babysitter at home any more, but once in a while I need a "driving babysitter". I have 3 different 16-18 year old teens that I use to drive my kids to various activities when I am unavailable. I know that they are responsible kids and I have talked to their parents about it. I pay them like I would a babysitter. $10 for a quick drive to somewhere close, $20 bucks for somewhere further or if they have to stick around through the activity and drive home. I would pay more if I needed their help for more than an hour or so. If it's on her way to an activity she is also attending, I might pay less. $10 or $15 for the round trip, maybe? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted December 1, 2016 Author Share Posted December 1, 2016 I think it's great that you found her. My kids are older and I don't need a babysitter at home any more, but once in a while I need a "driving babysitter". I have 3 different 16-18 year old teens that I use to drive my kids to various activities when I am unavailable. I know that they are responsible kids and I have talked to their parents about it. I pay them like I would a babysitter. $10 for a quick drive to somewhere close, $20 bucks for somewhere further or if they have to stick around through the activity and drive home. I would pay more if I needed their help for more than an hour or so. If it's on her way to an activity she is also attending, I might pay less. $10 or $15 for the round trip, maybe? Thanks... A "driving babysitter" is a good way to think of it. We live father out rural than she does, so it is not quite on her way...takes around 5-6 miles out of the way, I'd guess from her house, back to where we are and then back to road she'd be using to get to the city. But then at the other end it is exactly the same location she is going to and needs to be at herself and ds who will have the added hanging around time, for which a bit of light supervision might be very useful. He is old enough to be around the rink himself, but my guess is that he will not use the time for what he should be doing unless he gets a prod or two about it from time to time. We do not have good internet from home and the rink does, so if he can use that extra time to get computer based school done, that would be great, but if he gets into gaming with that time not good. IMO. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 Back when gas prices were really high my husband commuted with a coworker. The coworker had to go a little out of his way to pick him up. I think my husband ended up paying half of what it saved him on gas each week. So if a tank of gas was $50 per week he contributed $25. I think the current federal reimbursement rate for mileage is $0.52. So you could figure out the roundtrip mileage from your house and that would be a fair amount for gas and wear on her car. You want to pay enough to make it worth her time, but you also should be reasonable. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 Depends on the driver. Teach your son what good driving looks like and have him pay attention while she's driving. If she's consistently driving unsafely, let your son tell you. I would not expect her to police your sons time at the rink if she's there to practice. At his age I'd expect him to make wise use of his time, and if he didn't I'd do whatever you do to him when he doesn't get his stuff done. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted December 1, 2016 Author Share Posted December 1, 2016 Depends on the driver. Teach your son what good driving looks like and have him pay attention while she's driving. If she's consistently driving unsafely, let your son tell you. I would not expect her to police your sons time at the rink if she's there to practice. At his age I'd expect him to make wise use of his time, and if he didn't I'd do whatever you do to him when he doesn't get his stuff done. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk She works there before and after their ice time. Handing out rental skates, answering phones, being a rink guard--making sure things are not getting too rowdy, walking around with her rink uniform on so that people know she works there and can ask her questions, etc. The teens who work there usually seem to have a good bit of time to socialize. Her on ice time is the same as his. I'm trying to think how I'd teach him what good driving looks like. He may already have a feeling for that. That's a good idea, not just for now, but in a few years more and more of his friends will be driving too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 the time could easily be the lack of stoplights on her route. stoplights, here at least, add an average of two minutes per light at which I must stop. as for safety of the driver - I'd want to know how responsible they are in other things. athletes can also have more spatial awareness just as part of their sport - and that does speed up the spatial awareness development needed when driving. is she a generally responsible studious kid - or does she like to hang with friends and 'party'? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 I would probably pay her for gas and a little over, after okaying it with her parents. I would also give my own kid a "if they seem like a crazy driver let me know" type talk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 I wouldn't. WARNING parent nightmare ahead For those sports that have horrible early morning practice times (swimming, hockey, figure skating, etc), I decided a long time ago if my child were into it I'd be up and driving them. Several years back there was a one car accident involving a 17 yo girl and her 14 yo sister on the way to practice early in the morning. 14 yo died, 17 yo seriously injured and has to live knowing she was driving when her sister died. At those hours when teens are still sleepy no. Especially, when teens might not have good judgement if running late. Not worth it. I'm sorry I know you need a solution. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 I'd offer at least gas + $10 (as it's saving you gas plus TONS of time/hassles) assuming it's not taking her any significant (more than 15 min) *extra* time/effort. If she's having to spend extra time driving or waiting . . . Then I'd pay 10/hr for the "extra" time plus the gas. I'd talk to her clearly about speed/safety. I'd say, "I know I'm a paranoid mommy, but, silly me, it's important to me that my kid get home alive! Can you promise me to drive under the speed limit and follow all the safety guidelines whenever my kid is in your car?" Putting it on the table, clearly, will likely help ensure she drives extra carefully. I'd definitely ask my kid every couple drives about how it's going . . . Does she drive cautiously? Fast? Slow? Angry? Loud music? I'd also coach my kid not to be a distraction, to be quiet and calm in the car, etc. I'd talk to her parents for sure, before making any deals with the teen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 Depends on the driver. Teach your son what good driving looks like and have him pay attention while she's driving. If she's consistently driving unsafely, let your son tell you. I would not expect her to police your sons time at the rink if she's there to practice. At his age I'd expect him to make wise use of his time, and if he didn't I'd do whatever you do to him when he doesn't get his stuff done. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk This is a good idea! I was thinking NO WAY. But if the kid can speak up then yeah why not? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kroe1 Posted December 2, 2016 Share Posted December 2, 2016 We paid our drivers about $10 each way for a 15 mile one way trip. They also stayed and waited on her which was another $10 an hour. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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