saw Posted October 6, 2016 Share Posted October 6, 2016 JAWM please because I'm at my wit's end. DS (10 yo) keeps getting into trouble at school. He started a new private school in May. I pulled him out of a public school because the behaviour of the kids in his class was not good for him. Private school is good but DS has already in the fourth week of school come home with two written warnings for behaviour. He claims he cannot remember why, and I think he's blanking out on the reasons. Obvs I'm getting in touch with the school to set up a meeting but honestly I'm at a loss. I was so hoping that the private school would be a good place for him until we can arrange to move out of this city (I'm a single mom, exDH has mental health problems and is unemployed although he (his parents) pay child support, exDH is in and out of DS's life, no family nearby, just started working again a couple of years ago but I don't like the job, 40 hours in the office counts as part-time, etc etc, takes 1.5 hours to get to work because of school run). I'm spending all the "free" time I have on working with recruiters and brushing up skills to move somewhere where we have a network. Older dcs are away at school and desperately want us to move to somewhere that feels like home because not one of us likes living here. There are no other school options -- government schools are full to bursting, so no chance of getting a place (no obligation to place the child in a school anywhere near, and we live in a poor area so schools have behaviour issues and low academics) and private schools are full and unlikely to take DS with this behaviour. We were lucky to get him a place in May. Sorry to ramble -- it's just so darn frustrating to keep trying to get the pieces in place only to have everything fall apart. This is a JAWM, just need to put it out there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted October 6, 2016 Share Posted October 6, 2016 (hugs) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted October 6, 2016 Share Posted October 6, 2016 That's so difficult. I hope that a meeting with the school comes up with some ideas. Do you think it would be worth considering some kind of educational/psychological assessment for him? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted October 6, 2016 Share Posted October 6, 2016 Huge hugs!! Could he have some academic struggles that are triggering the behavior issues? Might an e evaluation for learning challenges help? I hope the school meeting can give you the specifics and possible ideas for how to address the underlying cause of his difficulties. I don't suppose you have any way to talk directly with his teacher through email or a note sent to school to ask for clarification? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamiof5 Posted October 6, 2016 Share Posted October 6, 2016 I'm sorry! I hope you can figure out what is going on and how to address it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saw Posted October 6, 2016 Author Share Posted October 6, 2016 Thanks. I think he either has some issues that affect his learning/behaviour or an intense personality combined with an unusual learning profile. Unfortunately it is very difficult to get good evaluations where we are. Believe me, I've been trying. DS has mild hearing loss in one ear and the ENT told me that some of what he does is connected to that -- he tends to stand close to people or interrupt, which annoys people, but quite often (according to the ENT) this is something DS cannot really help. Apparently hearing aids are not an option (got a second opinion on that one). I had him evaluated at Lindamood Bell because he loves to read but is reading below what he is technically capable of reading. He remembers facts from his reading but struggles with concepts. LMB didn't find any dyslexia or cause for concern. DS has been complaining for a year about his eyes being sore, so I took him to the optician, who said maybe muscle weakness, so she referred us to the eye clinic at the hospital (so a three month wait) who basically said his eyes are fine and we don't know/care why they are sore. This summer, when we were in the States, I took him to the specialist my older kids saw years ago, who prescribed reading glasses to make things easier and suggested vision therapy for convergence issues. I trust her, so we will now try to find a therapist here and, if we can't find a decent one (which is difficult), DS will have to go to the States for intensive therapy for a couple of weeks. So basically anything like that here just plains stinks. I tried to get a speech evaluation to check on his language (cleft lip/palate/hearing loss/English as a second or third language). Could not get the American-trained SLP in the area to respond. Could not get the American SLP we knew once upon a time in NJ to respond. It's exhausting. My personal view is that he has either sensory processing disorder or ADHD. I'm certain he has sensory issues, whether it's more than that I don't know. BUT he is capable of behaving well and acting in a civilised manner, so I'm just confused by the school's report. According to DS he got a warning for zipping up his bag during French class when he was supposed to be doing his work. Another warning when he and the rest of the class were talking while the teacher was out of the room. Another warning because he didn't do his homework for one subject (I know he did but it may have disappeared at some point?). Anyway, sorry so long. It's just so frustrating here to get any kind of help. I don't trust the "specialists" here because they're pretty useless in my experience (had experience with older DS and learning disabilities, so I've had a chance to compare). We'll be in the US in November and I'll take him to a really good OT there for the sensory eval. And I really really hope move soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted October 6, 2016 Share Posted October 6, 2016 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted October 6, 2016 Share Posted October 6, 2016 I'm sorry, it sounds like you are doing everything you can. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted October 6, 2016 Share Posted October 6, 2016 :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted October 6, 2016 Share Posted October 6, 2016 hugs. just hang in there. all you can do is your best, and keep on trying. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted October 6, 2016 Share Posted October 6, 2016 Wow, that's a lot to deal with. Hopefully the school can provide more insight into what happened. And may the move come sooner rather than later. :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
displace Posted October 6, 2016 Share Posted October 6, 2016 (edited) (Hugs). Schools can be super frustrating to deal with, not to mention possible problems that are not yet diagnosed. You have all my sympathy! Edited October 6, 2016 by displace 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saw Posted October 6, 2016 Author Share Posted October 6, 2016 Thank you. I am meeting the teacher tomorrow. She was very nice and will, if I want, have the school's ed psych (I had NO idea the school had one on staff!) observe DS. She did say that while his behaviour and organisation are not good, he is not being mean, unkind or rude, which is a relief. Fingers crossed. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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