chores/household/etc responsibilities for teens

[Pen]

How much do your teens do, and for how long daily? Is it as much as they "should/are supposed to" do?  Do you pay them for any or all of it?

 

Or anything else related to teens and chores...

 

I am trying to figure out if my expectations are high, low, medium...reasonable or not.  I realize it would depend by family and circumstances, but learning what others could do would help me.

 

One issue we have is what to do if expected chores are not done.

[Guest]

Are you asking for examples?

 

My dd14 has the following chores: feed and water horses, feed/water/care for chickens, collect eggs, deal with dogs if asked, keep her room and bathroom clean (this is the one that goes by the wayside until I come inspect), and pick up after herself in general. The outdoor chores takes about 30 minutes twice a day, but can be done faster if one is really in a hurry. She was doing her laundry too, but school has picked up and so has martial arts practice for a big tournament so I took that back over the last few weeks.

 

We don't pay her. If she wants to earn money she has to go above and beyond those chores to something off her list.

[OneStepAtATime]

DD and DS help me take out the trash, empty/load the dishwasher, clean their bathrooms, pick up their stuff in the main areas, help put away groceries, etc.  Sometimes they sweep/mop.  When we have guests they have to clean their rooms but their rooms usually aren't that bad.  They don't get paid.  They do these things as needed.  If something needs to be done, I ask.  Frequently we do stuff together and sometimes play music while we work or we visit with each other.  We don't have a set schedule for anything.

 

How do you approach chores?  Do you do them together, make it more of a team thing?  Or is it a check list that he is expected to do without prompting?  Or ...?

[Loowit]

My 15 year old is expected to do dishes (put them in the dishwasher and hand washing), laundry 2 days a week, clean the kitchen counters and floors, take out kitchen trash, mow the lawn once a week, and other duties as assigned.

 

My 13 year old puts dishes away, trims the lawn weekly, takes out master bathroom trash, clean the main bathroom, and other duties as assigned.

 

They are expected to have chores done before they do any free time activities for the day.  Chores are posted on the fridge to remind them of what they need to do each day.  They are not paid to do their regular chores, chores are a part of being a family member.  We do pay for extra chores that are above and beyond when they normally would do.  If chores are not done then they are reminded, if they still don't do them they lose screen time or other privileges.  Recently my DD was not doing her chores when she was supposed to, so I told her no free time until all the chores were completely done for the day.  This included getting all the loads of laundry finished.  It was amazing how much easier it was for her to remember to move laundry along when her free time was on the line.

[Tammi K]

I only have the youngest two still at home.  Currently they are 18 and 15.  My husband is currently living overseas on a three year job assignment so it is just the three of us and occasionally oldest son on a weekend home from University.

 

Between the two of them they: mow and weed-whack the lawn, feed all pets, clean cages and litter boxes, sweep all non-carpeted floors, clean the kitchen and do dishes after dinner every night (I cook, they clean).   They also do their own laundry. (Not a requirement but dd likes to manage her own and my son will wash his if he has a full load. Otherwise, he tosses it into the laundry room hamper and I do it when I do the other laundry.

 

While DH is away, dd is also responsible for seeing to the maintenance for the car she drives. She takes it in for oil changes, arranges for snow tires to be put on and off ( generally she bargains with her older brother to come home for a weekend from college to help him if he helps her. Youngest son usually helps just because he's that kind of kid.)

 

They also do just about anything else I ask them to do, with the exception of dd, who, despite my pleading, can simply not seem to keep her room clean.  I don't ask for perfection but it would be nice if it wasn't a fire hazard. Sigh.

 

I had a really severe illness this summer that had me in the hospital on two occasions in August. ( My dd is truly responsible for saving my life.  If it wasn't for her insistence to go to the hospital I would have died. ) The whole ordeal left me with lots of weakness and other issues - vision, balance, anemia, etc.   For most of the last two months they have been doing practically everything that needed being done.  Of course, that is the exception. The chores listed above are the normal things.

 

[myfunnybunch]

My boys are 15, 13, 11. They've got older sisters, so chores have been a part of our family routine since before they were born. I think that's helped when it comes to getting things done.

 

They do chores in the morning before school, usually about 15-20 minutes. The chore varies by day of the week, and they do things like dust, clean a bathroom, wipe all the stair rails and door frames and light switches and door handles, sweep and mop the kitchen.

In the evening, we all clean up after dinner. They are expected to clean an area and sweep the floor when finished.

On weekends, it's housecleaning day, and we all pitch in to get the house cleaned. They make a list of 3-4 jobs to do, and probably do about 1 to 1-1/2 hours of cleaning. The chores range from a regular Saturday chore (like taking out the trash) to a monthly chore (clean under the kitchen sink) to seasonal chores or chores that just need to be done (like cleaning and putting away camping equipment or hosing off the garage door).

 

All three boys are usually pretty good about doing extra chores as needed: Dinner prep, setting the table, cleaning something. I try to approach it from a teamwork perspective, meaning that we all benefit from clean home, home cooked meals, etc. I mean, I get the teenage zombie muuuuhhh sometimes, but I mostly ignore it.

 

They do what they're supposed to do most of the time. :) They really couldn't reasonably do more and have social time and free time, as they are so busy with school and classes and extracurricular activities. Especially now that it's theater season!

 

We don't pay for chores. We do give them some spending money monthly, but it's not really tied to chores. We do chores to keep our home clean; they get spending money as a part of our family resources to spend as they choose.

 

In our home, screen time happens once all responsibilities are taken care of, so no chores=no screen time. Sometimes things slide, but if I find a chore hasn't been done, I usually say, "Please go do it now," and they go do it. Staying consistent and acknowledging that yup, it's not so fun but we do it anyway, has helped keep things pretty smooth.

[nd293]

We work together as needed to make family life function, so no assigned chores. I guess you'd say I'm "in charge" in this area, so I "assign" tasks. In practice that means that if things need doing I ask whoever has time to do a job appropriate to age and ability. I'm not working and the kids are in school, so I end up doing a lot more than them, although this semester I am studying so everyone (incl dh) is asked to do more.

 

There's never a problem about things not being done because they're generally asked to do things that are immediately necessary while I'm doing something else (please take out the garbage / please iron a couple of Dad's shirts while I cook). There's no real incentive to avoid work when it's clear that we're all working at the same time towards family needs.

[MEmama]

DS doesn't have set chores. Honestly there is so little involved in running a household and I have so much time since I'm home all day, it would be a real stretch for me to assign him tasks just so I could sit around. That said, he's always happy to help with whatever needs to get done, and he takes responsibility for his own stuff like laundry. He's always eager to help, there just isn't really that much that needs to be done (and I have much more free time than he does).

[QueenCat]

The only thing we paid for was lawn mowing. One child can't stand getting sweaty, and the other was more than willing to do it all the time. He didn't ask to be paid but we felt it was above the norm so we gave him $20 each time. Less than a lawn service but a decent bit of $. All regular chores were just part of being a part of the household.

[The Girls' Mom]

I don't pay for chores.  Right now we are pretty much in survival mode, and we just do things as they need doing.  (with me dictating when they need doing because their standards are...different)

 

Two of mine are in college classes and have jobs, so they aren't home much.  They pitch in on Sundays and some minor picking up after themselves during the week.  One of mine has no outside classes or a job, and she kind of rotates with me on the dishes. They all do their own laundry and have for several years.  They are also responsible for cleaning their bathroom, which isn't a complete disaster, but it doesn't get as clean as I'd like.  

We used to have a set schedule for dishes, trash, etc. that they all rotated through, but it fell apart.