Harriet Vane Posted June 18, 2016 Share Posted June 18, 2016 I'm so sorry you didn't get the house. Keep looking--it may take time, but something will come together for you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamiof5 Posted June 18, 2016 Share Posted June 18, 2016 I am very sorry you didn't get the house! As someone mentioned before, have you prayed about it? I want to believe the Lord knows what is best for your family. I know it's not easy, at all, but put this situation in His hands, put your full trust in Him. He knows you are not happy and don't feel safe where you live. Maybe this new option didn't work out because there are better options that eventually will come? We don't know, we don't have a crystal ball to predict the future. I do want to trust in the Lord, and for some reason unknown to you and I, this new housing option was just not the best for your family. Will keep praying for you all!! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted June 18, 2016 Share Posted June 18, 2016 (edited) FWIW, when I got rid of the last square footage of carpeting in my house . . . I was able to reduce my asthma meds from 2x/day to 1x/day and instead of needing my "puffer" several times a month to even multiple times per week . . . I've needed it exactly twice in the last year . . . So, anyway, yes, I'd get away from that carpeting ASAP . . . since you didn't get house #2, just keeping looking. And, peel up the corners of the hideous carpet in your current house and see if there's wood under there. If there is, then beg/plead with your landlord to allow you to, on your own effort and dime, rip out and dispose of the carpeting and just mop the old floor with Murphy's Oil Soap. Even offer the landlord say a $500 payment towards re-carpeting with new carpet when you move out -- but it is refunded to you if you stay in the rental at least 2 more years. Oh, landlords like guarantees . . . Offer to sign on for 2 more years in a lease if he allows you to get rid of the carpet. (Or, if there is no wood under the carpet, if he will replace the carpet with any solid flooring.) Edited June 18, 2016 by StephanieZ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted June 18, 2016 Share Posted June 18, 2016 We didn't get the house. :sad: The landlady says she chose another applicant because the house is too small for our family. Obviously it is small but we were willing to make it work and I was even getting excited about moving into a place that's appearance doesn't depress me, not to mention a carpet free environment for the affected in our home. This kind of thing makes it hard for me to resist anger. Our family can't afford to live somewhere that is supposedly big and/ or nice enough according to property managers. It's like, yeah you can afford this and your family is willing and eager to do it but we've decided your standard of living isn't high enough so you get to stay in your current dumpy place. It's like you're not allowed to be poor. FWIW, I think that that landlady admitted to (illegally) discriminating against you because of your "family status" . . . 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted June 18, 2016 Share Posted June 18, 2016 If it had 3 bedrooms, then by the guidelines for the Fair Housing Act, her grounds for refusing to rent to you are presumably unreasonable. .May a landlord set limits on the number of occupants? A housing provider has the right to establish reasonable occupancy standards. Some restrictive occupancy limits have the effect of discriminating against families with children. As a general guideline, any such limit should not be more restrictive than two persons per bedroom, and should consider the size and configuration of rooms and total livable space. A maximum of two persons per bedroom may be unreasonably restrictive depending on all the circumstances viewed as a whole. Rules allowing fewer than two persons per bedroom are presumed unreasonable. from: http://www.nationalfairhousing.org/Portals/33/PSAs/brochures/Fair%20Housing%20for%20Families%20Brochure.PDF 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lllll Posted June 18, 2016 Share Posted June 18, 2016 (edited) nm Edited November 30, 2016 by cathey 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Marmalade Posted June 18, 2016 Share Posted June 18, 2016 But Pinkmint, you ARE going to keep looking ... aren't you??? We found this place we're renting in the rental section of a tiny, local newspaper. And there are lots of people on this board who seem to know all about rentals and such. I hope you find something soon, because it sounds like your quality of life could improve greatly with the right move. :grouphug: Yes, keep looking! We found our current place on Craigslist. It had literally JUST been posted. Shocked them beyond belief when my DH called them. She said it hadn't even been listed for ten minutes! We looked at it the next day, and in the meantime they'd had at least 12 calls on the place. I believe it truly was a divine moment that I went to look at craigslist at that exact time. We were first to look at it, and as we were leaving, I was told that legally they had to show the place to everyone they had spoken with, but that they were going to offer us the place if we wanted it. The right place will be there at the right moment. I know it can be hard to believe and trust in sometimes, but the God who clothes the sparrows cares so much more for you and your family. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinkmint Posted June 18, 2016 Author Share Posted June 18, 2016 (edited) Thank you all. If it was not legal for her to deny us based on our family size, it's interesting to know. But I probably wouldn't want to fight anyone about it. 3 bedrooms for 5 people is not unreasonable though. As for praying, I'm at the point where I feel tired of praying about something for years on end that gets nothing but a "no" answer. But I keep praying. I'm under no illusion that God has any interest in making my life easier. It hasn't been true at all. And it bothers me when friends say they just know God is going to bring us to the perfect house. How do they know? What if he doesn't? I don't know what God is doing or why in times like this. ETA Not that I can ever say I know what God is doing and why. Maybe I need to stop wanting to know why. My life being easy isn't really a condition of me agreeing to believe anyway. But I'm human and struggle when it seems like there's these meaningless hardships of which zero good can result. When nothing ever changes when I pray frantically. Edited June 18, 2016 by pinkmint 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted June 18, 2016 Share Posted June 18, 2016 As for praying, I'm at the point where I feel tired of praying about something for years on end that gets nothing but a "no" answer. But I keep praying. I'm under no illusion that God has any interest in making my life easier. It hasn't been true at all. And it bothers me when friends say they just know God is going to bring us to the perfect house. How do they know? What if he doesn't? I don't know what God is doing or why in times like this. I don't blame you for being discouraged. You're getting some pretty annoying input that God doesn't actually promise. We don't know why, and God doesn't always have something fantastic in mind for us, short of heaven. If He did, there would be a whole lot less martyrs. I think that God wants us to walk with Him in trust either way, as you are doing, and good for you for doing it. One thing He does promise, is that 'all things work together for good, for those who love God and are called according to His purpose.' So sometimes when times are tough the best thing I can come up with to pray is, "God, please let me SEE the good, because right now I don't." And I know that it might be good for someone else, instead of for me, but I would feel better if I could just see it, KWIM? Anyway, joining you in prayer for a better situation for yourself and your family. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zinnia Posted June 18, 2016 Share Posted June 18, 2016 (edited) We moved into our house 5.5 years ago. Right before I found it, I found another that I really, really wanted. Really. It had this big, lanscaped back yard with a FIG tree. A fig tree!! Like a peace of heaven right there in your yard. We didn't get it, and they just used the "we had other applicants" line. We had 3 kids at the time, and I think the family that got it was just a couple. He had expressed that he thought the house was too small for 3 kids. About 2 weeks later, we found our current house. It's perfect, and our landlord is very, very hands off (sometimes this gets on my nerves, but in the big picture, it's great). He didn't care about the 3 kids. We were the first to look at it, told him we wanted it, and he never even entertained anyone else. It was such just a right thing for us. A total God thing, because even then, in our neighborhood, the rental market was tight. I'm going to pray that the right thing...a really good thing...is right around the corner for you guys. edited to add: our house is a dump. It is in a flood plain, has had to be jacked up twice in 5 years, currently needs to be jacked up, but they couldn't figure out how to do it in the cheap, so they just replaced the floor in the kitchen (where it settled) by building up a floor on top of the old one. There is a 4 inch difference between the kitchen and living room. It's hilariously bad. :) The tile in my bathroom is crumbling on the corners, and it's been patched with caulk. Yes. lol. It needs painting like you can't imagine. Yesterday, a tree fell down in our backyard, and I'm SO happy because it's been dead, dead, dead for 3 years, and he kept making excuses not to cut it down. And now I don't have to worry about how/when it will fall. It has crazy quirks. If you dump too much hot water in the sink, the pipes underneath separate, and all the water comes out under the sink. We run 3 dehumidifers in 1100 sq feet, or we get mold. All that to say, it's perfect for us, but it's not like God placed us in the nicest house in the neighborhood. But being here has been the right thing for us, no doubt about it, and I rest in that. Edited June 18, 2016 by Zinnia 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted June 18, 2016 Share Posted June 18, 2016 You have been discriminated against illegally. I would contact your Fair Housing Commission and lodge a complaint. I used to be a housing tester for the Fair Housing Commission, and landlords routinely tried to pull stunts like this. When it was reported, they were cited. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Marmalade Posted June 18, 2016 Share Posted June 18, 2016 Thank you all. If it was not legal for her to deny us based on our family size, it's interesting to know. But I probably wouldn't want to fight anyone about it. 3 bedrooms for 5 people is not unreasonable though. As for praying, I'm at the point where I feel tired of praying about something for years on end that gets nothing but a "no" answer. But I keep praying. I'm under no illusion that God has any interest in making my life easier. It hasn't been true at all. And it bothers me when friends say they just know God is going to bring us to the perfect house. How do they know? What if he doesn't? I don't know what God is doing or why in times like this. ETA Not that I can ever say I know what God is doing and why. Maybe I need to stop wanting to know why. My life being easy isn't really a condition of me agreeing to believe anyway. But I'm human and struggle when it seems like there's these meaningless hardships of which zero good can result. When nothing ever changes when I pray frantically. We experienced a season where we did not trust in God and moved to a house because we thought it was the right thing to do. I felt a real heaviness in my heart when we moved into that place, but at the time, it seemed like the right thing to do, and it was an opportunity that I thought God could use for good. It was not where he wanted us, but where we thought He wanted us to be. :( It was a trying time in many ways, but once we committed, there was nothing to do but make the best of it. I did what I could to be grateful for the roof over our heads, and did what we could to make the house work for us. I painted cheerful colors on the walls, used colorful throw rugs and accents, really did what I could to make the place happy and suitable for us. It didn't really matter what I did though it really wasn't a good fit for us after all. We were looking at a long term commitment to this house that I didn't love, and all the same, I found that I wanted to trick myself into loving it, and I started to thank God daily for the provision of this home, even though it wasn't ideal. In the end, it really wasn't where God wanted us. At all. Only in retrospect do I wonder what would have happened had we just trusted and waited on His timing for the right place. And yet, at the same time, eventually He did bring us to the place we are living now. Way back then, I don't know if I would have given this place more than a cursory glance. It wasn't even in the community we thought we wanted to live in! And now? We are in a home that we absolutely love. The day we looked at it for the first time, we walked in the door and I had an instant vision of our furniture in place and the kids and I sitting on it doing schoolwork all cozy on a cold winter day. I didn't even need to look at the rest of the house! I KNEW deep in my knower that this was exactly where God wanted us. Be thankful for those moments where the answer is clearly no. We found out at one point that a house we had liked and were turned down for had a hidden mold issue. A really big black mold issue. I cannot imagine the health problems we would have had if we had moved in there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4arrows Posted June 19, 2016 Share Posted June 19, 2016 I don't blame you for being discouraged. You're getting some pretty annoying input that God doesn't actually promise. We don't know why, and God doesn't always have something fantastic in mind for us, short of heaven. If He did, there would be a whole lot less martyrs. I think that God wants us to walk with Him in trust either way, as you are doing, and good for you for doing it. One thing He does promise, is that 'all things work together for good, for those who love God and are called according to His purpose.' So sometimes when times are tough the best thing I can come up with to pray is, "God, please let me SEE the good, because right now I don't." And I know that it might be good for someone else, instead of for me, but I would feel better if I could just see it, KWIM? Anyway, joining you in prayer for a better situation for yourself and your family. Thank you for this. I know it was meant for the OP, but it did me a world of good to read it. Pinkmint, i'm so sorry this fell through. I don't blame you for being discouraged. I hope you will continue looking, and that something will turn up that will meet your needs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluegoat Posted June 19, 2016 Share Posted June 19, 2016 If it had 3 bedrooms, then by the guidelines for the Fair Housing Act, her grounds for refusing to rent to you are presumably unreasonable. from: http://www.nationalfairhousing.org/Portals/33/PSAs/brochures/Fair%20Housing%20for%20Families%20Brochure.PDF How does this work though, when a landlord has a number of applicants that are all plausible? In the end, the choice will probably come down to who feels like they will be the best tenant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluegoat Posted June 19, 2016 Share Posted June 19, 2016 Anyway - that really stinks PInkmint, but just keep looking. Something will come up eventually. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 19, 2016 Share Posted June 19, 2016 Girl...I get the doubt. Holy crap do I get it. We moved 1500 miles from our families when dh was offered a great job. Two years later, the economy tanked...dh's workplace was bought out, and he was given two months severance and was replaced with one of their guys. I was a hs mom who hadn't worked in 6 years, and had no prospects at all for work. That was followed by 5 years of paycheck to paycheck...with him working out of state most of that time because there was no work in our poor county. I ended up getting a job doing child care for a church friend, followed by three years of care taking for her grandparents. My pay checks covered our butts a lot of months, but there were lots of months that we had to decide what bill could wait. The only positive I had in that was an amazing church family. They kept me encouraged when I wanted to give up. But it sucked. There were days I just wanted to hide and give up. One night during a bible study, my friend asked what my goal was. "Goal...who makes goals... Nothing goes our way and we are just stuck". That was my attitude. Well she wasn't having it. She told me that she would be on me like white on rice and that our goal WOULD happen. That was two years ago. We are now back near family, and dh has a better job than we ever expected. We are paying $100 less every month for a mortgage than we were paying in rent, and while its small...it's ours. I know it is easy to give up, but don't. I will personally pray for you every day if you want. There IS something better coming your way. It's just hard to wait, but it will be worth it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted June 19, 2016 Share Posted June 19, 2016 i do not understand (not trying to say anyone is wrong) how what the landlady did was illegal? If she had multiple applicants, can't she pick the one that she thinks is best for the property? It is my understanding (and again I could be wrong) that a pattern of discrimination would have to have been shown. We don't know who else applied for the house. To the OP. Hope is hard. I struggle with something entirely different (an injury that keeps me from being the person I thought I would be), and I keep asking God to put me in a place to use me as I am. I wonder if God needs you in that neighborhood? I know it is not the answer you want. But maybe in 5 - 10 years you will look back and understand why you were needed to stay. Best of luck in staying hopeful and positive. (hoping you look back in a few years from the 'perfect' house) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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