Trying not to rage here

[Moxie]

I'm at the Y watching my DS at swimming lessons. In the room behind me is the little kids summer camp. One of the women in charge has yelled at this little girl about 20 times "get your fingers out of your mouth!!". The little girl is 3 or 4. She made the little girl move her stick down to orange. The little girl immediately put her fingers in her mouth. The woman then told her she can't play because her fingers are in her mouth.

 

I have a sensory kid. I'm working very hard to not punch this woman in the throat.

[bolt.]

My 8yo is constantly putting her fingers (and everything else) in her mouth. I wish I didn't get occasionally irritable over it -- and I certainly hope no one else takes it on themselves to yell about it! It really does make her catch every bug in her entire environment though. You can't win when the kids honestly don't know they are doing it.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

We love our Y generally, but my observation of the "camps" is that my child would attend a YMCA day camp over my dead body. So much verbal abuse and shaming the kids. So much ignorance of normal child development. Just herd 'em through the day, keep 'em alive...

 

the camp atmosphere is the opposite of the warmth and professionalism we've encountered in every other YMCA activity over the years. Basketball, swimming, soccer, clubs of various kinds, have all been terrific. But those day camps -- no. They make me shudder.

I wonder if the parents have any idea how their children are treated. I guess it's all within the range of allowable behavior on the part of the adults; I've never seen physical abuse or screaming into their little faces. It's more angry shaming a small child who is crying, or telling the children that they aren't allowed to play until they can all hold perfectly still and be perfectly silent in line, etc., or other incidents very similar to what you're talking about, Moxie. :(

[poppy]

I'm still stick on stick down to orange. Guessing that is a behavior modification technique . For camp. For preschoolers. That plus the repeating to yell at a kid for sensory .... It's like a time warp to bad teaching hall of fame.

[BarbecueMom]

We love our Y generally, but my observation of the "camps" is that my child would attend a YMCA day camp over my dead body. So much verbal abuse and shaming the kids. So much ignorance of normal child development. Just herd 'em through the day, keep 'em alive...

 

the camp atmosphere is the opposite of the warmth and professionalism we've encountered in every other YMCA activity over the years. Basketball, swimming, soccer, clubs of various kinds, have all been terrific. But those day camps -- no. They make me shudder.

 

I wonder if the parents have any idea how their children are treated. I guess it's all within the range of allowable behavior on the part of the adults; I've never seen physical abuse or screaming into their little faces. It's more angry shaming a small child who is crying, or telling the children that they aren't allowed to play until they can all hold perfectly still and be perfectly silent in line, etc., or other incidents very similar to what you're talking about, Moxie. :(

We had a horrible Y day camp experience with my older two kids a couple years ago. They put thousands of stickers down on a table for a craft project in DS7's group and said to take three. There were 30ish kids in the group in a loud, tiny room and DS probably didn't hear the instruction. Plus we do open-ended art at home and at most homeschool activities, so the instruction was not what he was used to. The "teacher" or counselor or whatever apparently saw DS put a fourth sticker on and started scolding him, so he put his project in the trash (I guess he thought he would have to start over) which turned into time out and he didn't participate the rest of the morning.

 

When I was being told this after picking him up, I said, "Oh, he must have been embarrassed." She said, "Why would he be embarrassed? All that happened was that I told him he didn't listen and did his project wrong!" *forehead smack*

[Alicia64]

Personally, I would talk to someone in charge. That's awful.

 

Alley

[Guest]

I talked to the swim teacher and got the name of the person in charge. I called and left a message.

 

I honestly didn't hear one kind, encouraging or respectful word out of any of the "teachers".

[MedicMom]

As awful as it may sound, I would put it on Facebook or other social media and share publicly what you witnessed.

 

I say this as a mom of a kid who was undiagnosed sensory/HFA at 3 and 4, and I naively sent him to VBS and briefly to a "fantastic small church preschool." Later on I found out from other adults present that he was shamed, yelled at, etc, for similar types of things(carrying his blankie, sucking his thumb/fingers, crying when it got too loud)...and no one ever told me. I wish one of those adults had spoken up, posted publicly what they were witnessing if they couldn't get a hold of me or knew me, whatever they had to do so I could find out what was going on.

 

I would have ended that nonsense in a heartbeat. He's much better now, but we still don't do those sort of things without me or another trusted adult present(Sunday School with his aunt in and out of the room or similar). I wish I had known what was going on, but he didn't have the language to tell me and no one else wanted to speak up.

[Anne in CA]

Honestly, I would put it on Facebook too. People need to know what will happen when they leave their kids someplace like this. I am HORRIFIED by this story.

[Truscifi]

We love our Y generally, but my observation of the "camps" is that my child would attend a YMCA day camp over my dead body. So much verbal abuse and shaming the kids. So much ignorance of normal child development. Just herd 'em through the day, keep 'em alive...

 

the camp atmosphere is the opposite of the warmth and professionalism we've encountered in every other YMCA activity over the years. Basketball, swimming, soccer, clubs of various kinds, have all been terrific. But those day camps -- no. They make me shudder.

 

I wonder if the parents have any idea how their children are treated. I guess it's all within the range of allowable behavior on the part of the adults; I've never seen physical abuse or screaming into their little faces. It's more angry shaming a small child who is crying, or telling the children that they aren't allowed to play until they can all hold perfectly still and be perfectly silent in line, etc., or other incidents very similar to what you're talking about, Moxie. :(

 

This has been my experience as well. Brotherman did one when he was little, maybe 5 or 6. I got there early the third day and saw the "teachers" - all teens, apparently with little to no training - sitting around making fun of one of the kids. On top of that, they didn't even know where my kid was. And on the way home he told me one of the other kids threw a ball at him several times even when he asked him to stop, and the teacher told him to learn to dodge.  :cursing:

 

I called the supervisor, wrote a letter, told everyone I knew, and of course he never went back.

[Misha]

Maybe write about it on a yelp review also, and hope that it helps the Y change their ways? 

[Lang Syne Boardie]

This has been my experience as well. Brotherman did one when he was little, maybe 5 or 6. I got there early the third day and saw the "teachers" - all teens, apparently with little to no training - sitting around making fun of one of the kids. On top of that, they didn't even know where my kid was. And on the way home he told me one of the other kids threw a ball at him several times even when he asked him to stop, and the teacher told him to learn to dodge.  :cursing:

 

I called the supervisor, wrote a letter, told everyone I knew, and of course he never went back.

 

What a horrible day for him!! That's awful!

[Valley Girl]

I talked to the swim teacher and got the name of the person in charge. I called and left a message.

 

I honestly didn't hear one kind, encouraging or respectful word out of any of the "teachers".

 

Good for you for turning your anger into action.

[myfunnybunch]

I talked to the swim teacher and got the name of the person in charge. I called and left a message.

 

I honestly didn't hear one kind, encouraging or respectful word out of any of the "teachers".

I think talking to someone up the chain of command about what you saw is a really appropriate response. Hope it makes a genuine change. Poor kid.

 

Ds15 volunteers as a counselor in training at our Y day camps. He's learned a lot about teaching and talking respectfully to little kids. He's hoping to get hired as a counselor next summer. I think the program is a great one, but I think we'll chat a little before starting about how to handle things if a helper or teacher does seem to struggle with being patient and supportive. Glad you shared, as it's reminded me.

[christusg01]

My first job was at the Y. I worked their after school program, as well as summer camps, from the age of 16 until about 22. Even as a young unmarried person with no children I vowed that I'd never send my future kids for care at the YMCA. And I haven't. They employ many teens who feel that it's their social hour instead of their job. That poor little girl....my daughter is four and I'd be livid if she was getting yelled at for sticking her fingers in her mouth. She's a small child! It's what they do! Especially if they are nervous, which she probably was with being yelled at.

Edited June 4, 2016 by christusg01

[SKL]

Why should a caregiver care if the child's fingers are in her mouth?  That sounds bizarre to me.

[SKL]

My kids have sometimes told me their camp counselors (college student types) are mean and they don't want to go back to that particular camp.  I am sure my kids have been annoying and thought they could get away with stuff.  I guess to some extent, it's a risk we take, knowing these counselors are not really well trained to work with children.  But yeah, if the person was particularly harsh, I would consider reporting it to someone in charge, because that person needs some more training ASAP.

[Guest2]

It makes me so sad, but it is not surprising.

 

I have seen adult parents volunteering in pre-k in public schools correcting kids for using their mouth or having a tongue out when using scissors, because "It's ugly." Uh, it's normal,and developmental actually.

 

I worked with sensory kids for years and they have a special place in my heart...this situation makes me mad, then makes me wander what their hiring process is. Of course, like everything else, it is probably skill related without any training about children. You can swim, great now teach them. You don't know or even like children? That is ok, because we won't even ask about that.