wendyroo Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 So, I am not a Facebook person. I have an account, but I only use it to enter giveaways and see what events the local homeschool group is organizing. My account has a profile picture, but that is about it and I have never posted/updated/written anything on my account. This morning I noticed I got a Friend Request. It is from my husband's college girlfriend who I met (along with her husband) once 10 years ago. I know that she and my husband are Facebook Friends (along with several other men and women they hung out with in college), but I really have no interest in keeping in touch with a woman I hardly know who lives 2000 miles away. I don't know anything about Facebook or how active her account is, but I really don't want a lot of activity on my feed (is that what it's called?) cluttering it up. What are my options? The obvious buttons say Confirm and Delete Request. Is there a way to not rebuff her and yet also not be inundated with posts I don't care about? Please remember that I know NOTHING about Facebook, so it would be helpful if any suggestions are accompanied by easily followed instructions. Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 You could.confirm her request and then set it so you don't see her stuff unless you specifically go to her page. Since this is a former girlfriend of dh who is married she might just be setting up boundaries sontyat Sue is not Facebook friends with a guy( your dh) but not with his wife (you). 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 (edited) It's my understanding that when a friend invitation is deleted, the person requesting it is not notified. So, she may not even notice, if she friends a lot of people. You could always send her a message and tell her that you are not accepting her friend request because you only use facebook for a specific purpose. A friend of mine refused my friend invitation by saying that she had a policy not to be facebook friends with local people, preferring to reserve fb for long-distance friendships. I once received a request from someone I had a very slight acquaintance with, and refused it but sent a msg saying that I use facebook to keep track of family members and that's all. That is no longer true, though it was at the time, but that person isn't around anymore anyway. Edited December 8, 2015 by marbel 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmandaVT Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 You could send her a message letting her know that you only use Facebook for your local homeschool group and that you don't have any friends on there. Click on the icon that looks like 2 people next to each other in the upper right corner of your FB home page. You should see her FB picture and name display under the icon when you click on it. Click on her name (should be in blue font) That will bring you to her FB profile page. towards the bottom of her cover picture at the top you should see buttons "respond to friend request" and "message" Click on message and you can write her a note explaining that you aren't accepting new friend requests. Hope that helps! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momofkhm Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 Three things. You can "delete" the request. But I think she will see it. I unfriended dd1's ex-boyfriend. He sent me a new friend request and I deleted the request, which some how he knew about b/c within 12 hours he sent me a new one. Which brings up a second option. You can let the friend request sit in your request box. This is what I've doe with ex-boyfriend. It's just sitting there. Option 3 is accept the request but "unfollow" them. I don't know how much you will actually see, I miss a lot of those people I've unfollowed. One of the teens I know went through an extremely hard time one fall, because I had unfollowed her, I knew nothing about what was going on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 I've deleted them. I don't think they will be notified, but I'm not a Facebook person either. I figure most people have hundreds of friends and probably wouldn't even notice if I accept or delete their friendship request. I have 5 friends. :) I've accidentally invited friends before! haha, I mean, people who I would never invite even if I was a regular Facebook follower! So then once they accept, I delete them. Oh well. Or you can let the invitation sit in your in-box for years, which I've also done. Here, I just found this on Facebook: "When you receive a friend request from people you don't wish to be friends with, you can decline by simply selecting "Ignore." Doing so will remove the request from your Requests list. They will not be notified that their friend request was declined, but they will be able to send you another friend request in the future.If you take no action on the request they've sent you, they will not be able send you another friend request. You will appear instead as a pending friend request when they view you in Search or elsewhere on the site until you either accept or ignore the request." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 Three things. You can "delete" the request. But I think she will see it. I unfriended dd1's ex-boyfriend. He sent me a new friend request and I deleted the request, which some how he knew about b/c within 12 hours he sent me a new one. Which brings up a second option. You can let the friend request sit in your request box. This is what I've doe with ex-boyfriend. It's just sitting there. Option 3 is accept the request but "unfollow" them. I don't know how much you will actually see, I miss a lot of those people I've unfollowed. One of the teens I know went through an extremely hard time one fall, because I had unfollowed her, I knew nothing about what was going on. I don't think fb notifies them directly, BUT you start popping up as possible new friends for them...which lets them know they are not currently friends with you...which is pretty much the same thing as sending them a notification! OP, it sounds like you want to "friend" her and then "unfollow" her. It is the easiest way to "unfriend" a person without actually unfriending them. And, it leaves you with the option of going and looking at her page when you want to. When "Unfollowed" , you do not have them show up on your newsfeed. It is just like not being friends with them, only they don't know you aren't getting their stuff. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 I just don't do anything. If I talk to people who have requested me, I let them know that I just don't do anything on facebook. The requests just sit there. I don't friend anyone (except DD) so there is no discrimination! ;) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wendyroo Posted December 9, 2015 Author Share Posted December 9, 2015 Thank you all for the help. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplejackmama Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 The more important question is why is she friending you? My answer: multi level marketing. She's signed up to sell either: weight loss products, makeup, essential oils, scentsy, books, or anything else under the sun and is reaching out to reel you in. Or at least that's that happens to me. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 The kids mostly just leave them unanswered. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 If you delete a request, the person can send you another one. If you just leave it there, she cannot ask again. If you Friend her, it doesn't mean you'll be inundated with her posts. But under those circumstances, *I* would accept her request. It doesn't hurt anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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