Working and Schooling?

[angelica]

We are a single income family. Are most of you single income as well?

 

My husband has been the provider for nearly 8 years now and I am feeling a pull to go back to work or work towards an MBA. Realistically though but I don't see that as a solution. Our kids are 5 and 9 so our days are rather wild and I am beginning to accept that I am not cut out for the schooling. Parenting alone is hard, and adding the element of being their educator is even harder. There is no way my husband can guide lessons after a long day of work. Then again I don't work and there's days where I feel like there's no way we're going to get work done. 

[deerforest]

I'm not sure what you're asking. My husband and I both work full time and homeschool our only child, who is 11. I think every family situation is unique, but it's not impossible to work and homeschool. 

[Peaceful Isle]

Maybe you should decided what your comfortable with :) Do you love to homeschool,or do you want a change? Do you want your kids to go to school, or would you like your husband to teach the kids?

 

If you do not enjoy homeschooling, and you are drawn to go to work or go to school, I think you should do that. Life is short, and no one should live in misery.

Just be careful not to make any rash decisions based on a bad few weeks, or month even.

[Runningmom80]

I got confused with your OP as well.  I'm not really sure what you are asking. 

 

I have a part-time job, DH works full time.  It works for us, my job is low stress.

[OneStepAtATime]

Not sure what the question is, either, but if you are pretty much hating homeschooling and you want to consider a different option there is no reason you can't.  See what the local schools have to offer for your kids, maybe plan to take a class or two of your own to pursue careers you might be interested in, etc.  Agree with up thread, though, don't make a snap decision based on a bad week or month.  Really do some soul searching, write down in a journal or something what your goals for homeschooling were in the first place, decide what your goals for your kids, yourself and your family as a whole are right now and brainstorm ways to make that happen.  Think outside the box.  Don't tie yourself down to ideals that maybe aren't the reality.  Also, make a list of the reasons you think you are unhappy right now.    Be totally, brutally honest with yourself, even if you don't share those thoughts with anyone else.  

[MerryAtHope]

My husband is disabled, so I work part-time from home. My kids were almost 10 and 12 when I started though--for me, I think it would have been harder when they were younger. As they get older, they can do more independently. They still need mom but it's different. Personally I'd hold on to single-income living a few more years if you can, or maybe take a class at a time now and see how that goes--you may find that gradually you can ramp up to more. If at all possible, I think it's really worth it to not spread yourself too thin. Enjoy your little ones--these days are sometimes challenging but also a treasure.

[angelica]

Sorry for not making sense. I didn't really have a targeted question...just wondering if you guys work on top of schooling.

 

I am not miserable just overwhelmed a bit at times.  It's hard trying to do it all and though I know I can't do it all I still trick myself into thinking that I should try. I have plenty of time to work, but the years working with my kids are limited. By the time my kids are 18 I'll still have another 20 years until retirement age. The years to work are not going to go away, but eventually these kiddos will grow up and move away and I'll know we did the best we could. It's just hard trying to balance the stuff that needs to happen around the house and the educating that needs to happen. 

[Aurelia]

Both DH and I work full time and DD is homeschooled. It's possible, if that's what you really want to do. Maybe in a couple of years (like when your younger child is 9-10 or so) it will be easier. You don't have to be there for everything, you can give them a list of some independent work and let them do that while you're working. Your older child would be in 8th or 9th grade at that point, and expected to handle things more independently, anyway. Kids change a lot in 4 or 5 years. So, so much. So while it feels like it's impossible to work right now, you could easily work part time, and maybe full time in a few years, without jeopardizing your children's education.

 

You could try making a list of your priorities and make a plan to make them happen. Like, I have to let the housekeeping go until the weekends. I'd LOVE a clean house every day, but I don't have time. I have to choose whether to eat (and/or fix) dinner or exercise in the evenings. Another thing you could do is make something like tidying up part of the school day, like the kids clean the living room and schooling area while you fix lunch, or the each person straightens an assigned area every night as part of the bedtime routine. Teach your kids to make their own sandwiches and let them listen to an audio book while they eat, while you spend 30 minutes with the laundry. Don't let yourself start thinking you should do it all. 

[abba12]

Sorry for not making sense. I didn't really have a targeted question...just wondering if you guys work on top of schooling.

 

I am not miserable just overwhelmed a bit at times.  It's hard trying to do it all and though I know I can't do it all I still trick myself into thinking that I should try. I have plenty of time to work, but the years working with my kids are limited. By the time my kids are 18 I'll still have another 20 years until retirement age. The years to work are not going to go away, but eventually these kiddos will grow up and move away and I'll know we did the best we could. It's just hard trying to balance the stuff that needs to happen around the house and the educating that needs to happen. 

 

I may be wrong, but it seems to me you're feeling a bit guilty for not working and not 'doing it all' and for being overwhelmed by 'just' homeschooling? You're totally right, your time with your kids is limited, and work will always be there! You gotta prioritize those little ones. But, not at your expense, so you need to work out what you truly want. 

 

Our original plan was that I would never work. Homeschooling 3 (maybe more) kids is a full time job on it's own and we wanted my focus to be at home. My husband looked at the pressure on SAHMs to work at least from home and said from the beginning that he didn't want me to feel that pressure. There is nothing wrong with 'just' homeschooling, it's a hard job!!

 

Then my husband was diagnosed with a medical condition which prevented him from working for 6 months, and now means he will never return to full-time employment. Our ideal plans got thrown out the window.

 

Now we both work part time, him 24 hours, me around 15 hours. I am primarily responsible for planning/prepping/teaching school on top of that, but the ONLY reason I can pull off homeschooling while staying sane in this stage of life (all littles) is because my husband happily takes a couple of subjects we didn't get to many afternoons, does a full school day with them one day a week, and does some hands on stuff on the weekends. It's a team effort.

 

A lot depends on your stage of life, someone with a teenage only child will find working a lot easier than someone with 4 elementary schoolers. A family who has no choice in their situation will compromise on things that a family who has options doesn't have to. It sounds like you're not entirely clear on what you want right now. Just know that you CAN'T compare yourself to everyone else. All you can do is make the best decisions for you and your own family.  

[Tsuga]

We after school / home educate (but do not homeschool). That is because of my kids' and my needs. I would consider a lower salary and homeschooling if necessary.

 

However, it is hard. For every family. Everyone who is pushing themselves and striving for excellence is going to be climbing a mountain, whether it's only homeschooling or working or what.

 

You need to find what works for you. People are doing many different things. Hang in there.

[G5052]

Sorry for not making sense. I didn't really have a targeted question...just wondering if you guys work on top of schooling.

 

I always have at various levels, depending on what is available and family needs. I do a mix of college teaching and contract teaching/writing. Right now I have too much work frankly, and I'm dropping one college as of January. 

 

Frankly it's pretty messy at times. I always tell local friends that you'll have to cut the extras to the bone and tolerate a lot of disorder. That said my house is "good enough" that I'm not embarrassed if a friend comes by. But company clean? Rarely. The bills get paid, school gets done, and I pretty much work 7 days a week on my paid gigs in order to keep it all balanced and afloat. About 1/2 of my hours are scheduled and half are flexible, so it's not unheard of for me to have to crash all weekend on work stuff because of family needs during the week.

 

I probably would have kept it very low-level if we hadn't needed the income, but it's made a big difference in our bottom line. It's allowed me to outsource to experienced superstar teachers in some areas as well.

 

It's easier when they're older of course, and I'm down to just an 11th grader. With my homeschooling days waning, it's nice to know that I'll have plenty to keep me busy. 

 

I love my work too though, and figure I'll keep at it another 10-15 years, maybe longer. Professors/teachers can work a long time.

 

[Wheres Toto]

We were one income and I was home with the kids until 2 years ago.  Dh was self-employed, things go very rough for a while, and I went back to work.  At first my mother watched them and we had them do Time 4 Learning (my mother didn't feel capable of teaching them anything at all).  Once it was clear I was going to continue working (I started as a temp then was hired full time), we hired a full time teacher.  It's been 2 years and it's going great.  The kids are thriving, their teacher is young and very energetic, and since she gets to go home at the end of the day and not worry about being mom and teacher and housekeeper, she's able to keep that enthusiasm going.   I enjoy (mostly) getting out with other adults and my job is flexible enough that I can work from home if a kid is sick or take off for appointments or to go on field trips with them.

 

I think my absolute idea would be if I could work part-time and have their teacher do school work with them (and the planning ;) ) and I could spend more time with them (and maybe have a cleaner house).  I'm not sure if I could make enough working part-time to make that a viable option though.

[netwelladm]

Yes, I work and homeschool. At first it was part-time at home (customer service/blog writer) and now full time outside of the home as a personal care assistant. As a PCA though, the hours are flexible. It also helps that hubby is at home. He is disabled. I do the planning/prepping/teaching/grading/purchasing, etc. We double team pre-algebra. On days when I will be longer at work he will teach subjects such as science or history. Our kids are 12 and 15 now.

The helpful tips found on this website will help you stay sane. The main one that helped us was quit trying to have school at home. Now that we are doing this we are seeing gradual changes and good changes.

[Squirkle]

We are a single income family too, but that is because I am the only adult, since the children's father walked out on us when they were both small, long before we began homeschooling. So really I have no choice but to juggle work with school. Even so, we are not financially well-off, but we do manage and school gets done most days. It helps that my job is with an after-school program, so I don't start until 3pm most days, during term time. By then the children are usually done for the day and as a bonus they enjoy coming with me to work, as they get to meet plenty other kids of similar ages. It's a learning- rich environment too so they get to do a lot of extra curricular activities plus tons of PE, crafts, cooking, handiwork as well as having social time.

 

During school breaks (next week- eek!) the program is open all day long so I will work extra hours, usually a 12-6pm shift, 5 days a week. We will then still do school in the morning (I plan a lighter schedule) before I leave for work. As we are used to managing on my wage alone for shorter hours most weeks, the increased pay I get during school breaks helps to pay for the extras. Plus I find being homeschooled the children are less influenced by peers into coveting all the latest gadgets. Also we save money on not needing to buy school uniforms or pay for expensive field trips. We do have our own field trips but at times and when our finances allow, not when there is the pressure to find the cash because everyone else will be going!

[lea_lpz]

Yes, no, maybe so! I go to school part time in the evenings but only take 2 classes a semester. I'm in a masters program. It's not always easy. It's hard to have my foot in both worlds and my quality of work has probably suffered as a consequence of being more absorbed in family life than academics but I keep on swimming and make mostly A's anyhow. Sometimes homeschool takes a backseat and we have a week we're mommy's doing homework or needing to drag kids along with me to campus. Or when I have to accept that I can't be that pintrest homeschool mom and stellar student.

 

I think part time is doable for me, but I think if I tried to go full time it probably wouldn't fly.

 

Some things to consider---

1) full time work or school or part time? If it's full then I'd say you both got to be on board to help with school

2) do you have a reliable place for them to go where they'd get work done? At least some independent work?

3) are you willing to change what your homeschool looks like? Maybe to an online or mostly independent program?

4) are you guys willing to spend evenings and weekends doing school? Or do you think everyone will be too burned out?

5) if you try it and it doesn't work are you willing to let one go---either homeschool or work or school?

 

My kids are around your kids ages. I have a k'er and 3rd grader. They still need a lot of hand holding from mom. The 3rd grader can work about an hour and half. My k'er only does about an hour and half of school, but it's all with mom being present.

 

Another thought---can you live on one income and still met your long term financial goals---retirement, owning a home, having a savings, etc., or is at least a part time income necessary to do that? I think personally if I could do that then I wouldn't chose to continue school or work part time because it's not worth the extra stress.

 

On the other hand if you feel you just need the outlet do what works for you!

[momto2Cs]

Both dh and I work outside the home. He does variable hours (restaurant work), and I balance two part-time positions, along with a class I am taking (toward my MA). My kids are older (12 and 14), or I would not have taken on the second job, even though it is extremely helpful financially AND is actually working toward my goal of teaching professionally. It can be challenging certainly, but it is doable.

 

It also helps that we primarily school math and language arts, and that much of the rest is unschooled/interest led. And as ds14 is taking two classes at the local junior college, that gives me some time to work one-on-one with dd12.

[RKWAcademy]

:grouphug: :grouphug:

 

I could have written your post.  I'm right there with you.  I'm often overwhelmed with being their parent pretty much all day and night and their teacher.  DH works a lot of hours and is not involved in our school except to say he wants them homeschooled.  I don't desire to go back to work but I need to for money and for a break from my kids.  Unless others are able to hire care or have family nearby, I don't know how people work and homeschool.  I just can't figure it our for our situation, either.  We are seriously considering put them in school next year so I can go to work and go back to being just mom.  And I hate the thought.

 

My ideal wouldn't even be outsourcing their school.  I would hire someone to watch them a few hours per day while I work or just be away from them.  I think if I had that break, the school part wouldn't be so overwhelming.  

[Hwin]

We both work. 

 

Doing the bare minimum is no problem. Read this book. Fill in this quiz. Do this math. That gets done. It's the trips to the library, the science experiments, the hands-on learning, the homeschool playdates - that's what is hard to schedule in. Everyone (who homeschools) rolls their eyes about those annoying people who think homeschooled = no social life. Buuuuuttt... until I went to part time, my kids were hermits.

[Melissa in Australia]

I work one day a week ( teaching Primary School). the last few years I have been studying full time as well as homeschooling. Next year I will be working 2 days a week. It is very very tricky. Especially juggling the massive amounts of trips to specialists for the twins.

 

I do just about all the homeschooling. DH does the chemistry experiments with ds12. Ds 12 has sever dyslexia. We do all his morning schoolwork ( Math, Literacy, etc) the evening before  and do History, Science and logic in the afternoon. dd15 works fully independently and just needs work checked over. the twins have  2hours solid therapy work every day + see a range of specialists, plus need constant supervision every second. Dh supervises them the day I work. Next year they will be a what we call kindergarten ( What USA calls 4 year old preschool). They will be fully aided. We are expecting them to do 2 years of 4 year old kinder then we will have guardianship of them and be able to homeschool them.

[EmilyGF]

About the MBA...

 

While getting an MBA is a choice, for most people, working after after getting an MBA isn't a choice (they have too much debt). So, whatever you do, I would suggest working a bit before diving into a degree.

 

Our friends are doing this now - homeschooling kids while the dad works from home and the mom goes to (a pretty demanding) graduate school. They use a school-in-a-box and the kids are older and pretty independent. Still, it has limitations. They have a sitter a few hours a week. They are looking into brick and mortar school for next year. The kids don't have many opportunities to go out with others because their parent needs to be "at" work all day (even though he works at home). When mom graduates, she'll be working a pretty grueling schedule for at least the first few years. 

 

Emily