Joyofsixreboot Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 My 11 yo went to a 12th birthday sleepover last night.She is sort of bummed out because the other four girls mostly just played on their phones or tablets all evening. I had coffee with acquaintances last week and had a similar experience. Today I offered to let the kids bring someone swimming with us. We were turned down twice because they are gaming. Is it just the Midwest or are people just boring? I like technology too but with limits/manners. Crotchety rant over. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlmiraGulch Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 That stinks. I don't think it's geographic in nature. Mine says the same sort of thing. I will say that my DD12 went to a sleepover and they were all on their devices but playing a multi-player game, together. in my mind, that's still playing together, just differently than we did when I was a kid, and she was fine with that one. She's at a more traditional birthday party right now, I'm glad to say. Pizza, cake, ice cream, skating, laser tag....I hope she's having a great time. :-) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 I will be an old lady with you. I find the lack of interest in anything other than being on a device appalling. It has it's place but youts today should be able to engage with one another without the device. For example, my kids love our town pool (so much they both lifeguard there) but I noticed around age 12/13 the majority of their friends no longer wanted to hang out at the pool. They would rather go to the mall or stay home and play video games. When I talked with some other parents about it they were all "what am I to do? I can't make them come to the pool with me." Um, yes, you can. There were days I forced mine to come because they weren't sitting home all day in front of the tv. Now get off my lawn. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 I started letting my DD bring her Kindle to Co-op because as soon as the class is done, the kids are all on their phones. At least with her kindle there, she can read. I'm thinking this may be our last semester of co-op. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momacacia Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 It's not "kids these days," it's "parents these days." Parents who don't have any limits on media. I let my oldest listen to stories with friends if that is what the friend wants to do, but this is not TV time or phone time otherwise. I had friends over for you to play and engage with. Electronics are for the weekend mornings (without a friend) or a little in the afternoon if mommy is really tired and school and chores are done. It's tough to say "no" even for parents these days. :-/ 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butter Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 I teach 12 and 13 year olds at church and we had a lesson recently on etiquette and included cell phone etiquette. Only a couple of the girls already have cell phones, but we felt it was important to address now. They talked about how so many kids at school have phones and as long as the kids are behaving they can have them out during lunch and most kids get so absorbed in their phones that they no longer sit and talk and socialize. It's a problem. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retired Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 It not just a old lady "kids these days" My 22 year old son says that he can't stand girls his age cause they are always on their phone.. He said that the last few the girl he dated did not hold a converstation with him, they stayed on their phone the whole time or used it as a mirror to check their reflection :huh:. These are not "fluff" girls they are all in "hard" majors. He has had better luck dating a girl he meet in line at starbuck LOL. He was with me and I started talking to her and since I know my son "he was interested" . I walked away to let them feel each other out kwim They are still meeting for coffee and stuff. She is like him and doesn't' have a smart phone cause she says its a "waste of money" She uses her computer for a computer not her phone. She is saving her money to travel. He is saving his to travel. Mom helped him find a date :lol: They've been seeing each other a few months. 18 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamiof5 Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 I must be an old lady too. Kids don't need to be on electronics all the time 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuNaturel Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 My daughter went to a week long summer day camp this year. It had an overnight sleepover in the woods on the last day. She told me that at night, everyone was on a device except for her. (These children were 8-10yo.) One of the girls slept with her tablet in her sleeping bag! What parent would want their child hugging radiation all night? When they watched a movie, this same girl was on her cell phone or tablet (she had both!). I encourage my daughter to collect email or phone numbers to keep in touch with kids she gets along with. She collected the email of this device-addicted child. To my surprise, my daughter chose, on her own, to stop talking with this girl. Every time they would email back and forth, the girl would reply with one sentence in pure text talk that didn't even address my daughter's small letter. She felt like the girl didn't read or care what she wrote about. I had to translate this child's emails for my daughter because she couldn't understand them. It was ridiculous. Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mabelen Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 I haven't seen this among my 11 year old daughter's friends yet. When they get together there is all kinds of play going on. My daughter doesn't have a smart phone but has access to an iPad. Some of her friends do have smart phones but it doesn't seem to have spoiled them at this point. There is a 6th grade science education camp planned this year and kids are not allowed to keep electronics with them at all. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted September 5, 2015 Author Share Posted September 5, 2015 At least it's not just the people we know. These were all homeschooled girls. I guess I was hoping they would be different from other teens but nope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
albeto. Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 Well, to give a different perspective... I think it's sort of cute when I see my kids and their buddies all together with their devices. They swap them, they use the bluetooth to play Terraria or Minecraft or other games together. They go watch each other over each others' shoulders and get ideas for their own play. They chat and the games are social bonding the way that collecting baseball cards or knowing about a certain TV show might have been in the past. There's a lot of socializing going on with the devices and I think some of it is invisible to adults who are less fluent with it. Of course, I've also seen situations where it's really isolating for kids - either kids isolating themselves or kids closed out. And one of the things I like about watching my kids and their friends is that they also put the devices down and play outside or with other stuff after awhile. My boys had a sleepover a few weeks ago with friends and they spent maybe a third of the time on their devices like I described above, but they also watched a movie together, played several rounds of Exploding Kittens, went to the park, play fusball in the basement, and drew pictures that had - I think - something to do with world domination... or something. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Tick Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 but they also watched a movie together, played several rounds of Exploding Kittens, Is this some kind of grammar game where one person writes a paragraph and everyone else has to find all the misplaced apostrophes? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butter Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 Well, to give a different perspective... I think it's sort of cute when I see my kids and their buddies all together with their devices. They swap them, they use the bluetooth to play Terraria or Minecraft or other games together. They go watch each other over each others' shoulders and get ideas for their own play. They chat and the games are social bonding the way that collecting baseball cards or knowing about a certain TV show might have been in the past. There's a lot of socializing going on with the devices and I think some of it is invisible to adults who are less fluent with it. I agree that when that is happening devices are perfectly fine. Unfortunately, way more often (particularly the older they get) the devices are used to isolate themselves or, worse, be catty about each other on-line. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 It's not just you. My husband and I make a concerted effort to keep our devices away from the table and on dates. We may still check some email while waiting for food to be served, but that's couple time, not screen time, and we really try to honor that. I think it is gross so many kids have phones so young, especially ones with games, because kids are pretty poor at self limiting media usage until they're gained more physical maturity. Even adults like myself struggle with it! So imposing outside limits and gently easing up as they transition to self limiting seems wiser than just allowing whole hog device access, which I see a lot of even in homeschool circles these days :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluegoat Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 I find many kids will always choose video games or interactive screen activities before anything else, and once they get on them, it can be really hard for them to come off. I think a lot are not really even aware of the passage of time, much more so than with tv. IMO it is really a brain thing - the devices are deigned to give constant rewards and little hits of nice chemicals, and there is always one more thing to finish. I wonder, in the future, if people might limit kids use of a lot of these kinds of devices until they are older, like cigarettes or alcohol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 Is this some kind of grammar game where one person writes a paragraph and everyone else has to find all the misplaced apostrophes? Ha! It's a card game. Infamous for being the fastest funded kickstarter in history. http://www.explodingkittens.com/ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 I agree that when that is happening devices are perfectly fine. Unfortunately, way more often (particularly the older they get) the devices are used to isolate themselves or, worse, be catty about each other on-line. My kids are only marginally younger than the OP's though - they're turning 11 this month. Their friends are older and younger. And they're on some social media so it's not like they're shielded from that aspect. Don't get me wrong - I've seen the behavior be pretty negative too. A friend has a ds who simply will not detach from the screen EVER. It's sort of disturbing for my kids to see. They're the same age. They try to be friendly, but he can't interact. But I get tired of the "kids these days..." things. I mean, I feel that way too sometimes - it's part of getting older - but I feel like it's worth fighting. Every generation has said this. Every generation has turned out basically fine. I don't know that it is "way more often." I mean, maybe for some kids... but I think there's more to it all. i know a lot of kids who are really detached from their screens. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErinE Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 He was with me and I started talking to her and since I know my son "he was interested" . I walked away to let them feel each other out kwim They are still meeting for coffee and stuff. She is like him and doesn't' have a smart phone cause she says its a "waste of money" She uses her computer for a computer not her phone. She is saving her money to travel. He is saving his to travel. Mom helped him find a date :lol: They've been seeing each other a few months. This is a great story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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