momofkhm Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 Sooo... Last night dd announces that she invited g'ma to family weekend. De facto, that means she expects us to be there as g'ma can't/won't drive that far. We dropped middle daughter off today. There were lots of tears. 50 minute drive, she cried 3 times before we got 20 minutes. Then she was good until dh and I left and more tears. I texted her tonight and it sounds like she's had a really good evening. But the tears! Looking at family weekend, that weekend is our church's women's retreat. I was planning to go. I haven't paid money or even said anything to the organizer about reserving a space. I've gone every year except the first year. I always enjoy it. I always get closer to God, find out something important. BUT I will see her before then. There is a medallion ceremony tomorrow that I'm planning on going to, surprise her by being there. Then she will be home for Labor Day. And then 2 weekends after family weekend is fall break. And then too with all the tears, dh kept saying how we could drive down anytime she needed us. We could come down for ice cream and drive back. He's a big softy! So what would you do? Retreat which is almost tradition? Or family weekend? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 I don't find parents weekend necessarily the best weekend for us to visit. Usually other weekends are more convenient depending on child's study schedules and our schedule. I'm also big for the drive over and have a meal or milkshake. A couple of hours with family is quite nice and doesn't take away from the college world. How far away are you? If you can't go parents weekend just tell her and grandma that you can't make it this year and make other plans to visit. We have friends that never visit parents weekend because it's too crowded , hard to get hotels etc. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 We found parents' weekend not the best time to visit. We did visit freshman DD last year for parents' weekend - newbies at the parenting-a-college-student thing, I figured she may be sad if all her friends' parents come and we don't. We were not interested in attending any of the official events (sit in on a class or meet real professors? no thanks), let alone shelling out $80 for the registration. We just went to hang out with DD. Campus was packed, no accommodations available parking and driving a pain, parents and students everywhere. None of her friends had parents visit btw. This year, we will skip parents' weekend and go on a different weekend. You can always visit your DD some other weekend. Go for the retreat and pick a different weekend where she can show you the campus on her own, without hundreds of other people milling around. ETA: And really, if it's just a 50 minutes drive, you can easily pop over on an afternoon or for dinner or lunch. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
readwithem Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 We went for the first parents' weekend and had an experience similar to regentrude's... except that we also had a 3 hour flight and then a 2 hour drive. And then our return flight was delayed a few hours. And our entire flight (both ways) was other parents, either for dd's college or for one two hours away (same weekend, using same airport). The weekend itself was full of things we had no interest in doing - in fact, we sat in dd's room and read to ourselves (a regular family activity) during the football game. Do yourselves a favor, go visit another weekend. You'll all be glad you did! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 Wait until you decide this. I am sure you can make your decision closer to the weekend. Can dad go without you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 At DD21's school, Parents Weekend would be the WORST time to visit with an elderly person in tow. Hot, extremely crowded and all the restaurants and venues are packed. I would pick a nice weekend that was not Parent's Weekend and take Grandma down to visit the school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 I would give dd a bit more time to settle in and then discuss - right now, it would probably hurt her feelings for you to immediately make other suggestions while she's feeling so tender hearted. It's a good point about maybe not being a good time for Grandma to visit. Maybe dad can go up for parent's weekend to see her, and a different weekend can be planned for everyone? It's really important to some kids that loved ones visit them and see their life at college. I went home nearly every weekend, as I had a job that gave me a lot of hours, but I was always a bit wistful that my parents had no interest in visiting me, in 'my world.' My sister and b-i-l came up, although I saw them just as frequently as my parents, and it really meant a lot to me that they wanted to see campus, meet my friends, and so on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 Add us to those who generally skip Parent's Weekend due to preferring less expense and less crowded times to visit. For middle son, we head up the weekend before (Fall Break). Two years ago we stayed in the area and explored. Last year we took him to Niagara Falls for a revisit. This year we might do Niagara again if we go as we really enjoyed it last year. We're toying with whether to attend youngest's Parent's Weekend (in Feb) this year though. We're not yet sure of Feb plans but are playing with ideas. They put it over a holiday weekend - a big negative for us - but... we're still running ideas so time will tell. In your case, I'd do the retreat you love and either send dad/g'ma or all go another weekend. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 We already told our youngest we aren't doing parent weekend. We are going on our mini vacation 30th anniversary celebration trip then (a birding festival). (We plan on taking a major trip next spring or early summer). Like all the above posters, if we visit, we prefer less crowded times and less scheduled too. As it is, dd will probably be home for fall break two weeks after that anyway. DD doesn't care if we visit parent;s weekend and just wishes she could be at the birding festival too (which she went with us three years ago and had a wonderful time). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 Only did one parent weekend- too crowded, not our style. Picking an 'off' weekend to take grandma would be great, though! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kareni Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 We lived cross country from my daughter's college, so we never attended a Parents weekend. My husband and I delivered her to college; it was his first time seeing the campus while I'd visited previously. When we chatted after that, it was nice to be able to visualize buildings, our daughter's dorm room, the cafeteria, etc, as she spoke about them. I accompanied my daughter at the start of sophomore and junior years. This was combined with a visit to my sister who lived about 75 minutes away. My sister was kind enough to do end of year pick ups and to provide summer storage. My husband and I surprised our daughter at Thanksgiving sophomore year; she thought my sister would be picking her up for the holiday, but we arrived instead. It was truly our one great coup! My husband and I both attended our daughter's graduation. She didn't miss us at Parents weekends. It was nice though that she had good friends who included her in activities when their parents visited. Regards, Kareni 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
readwithem Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 We lived cross country from my daughter's college You reminded me of something, Kareni - during dd's senior year, we had friends from here who happened to be passing through dd's college town (1200 miles away) on Parents Weekend. They took her to dinner one night, they walked around the town the following day - it was perfect for dd, as she didn't feel like an orphan for PW but also didn't feel totally tied up with outside activities and could spent a good chunk of the weekend on her school work. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kareni Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 You reminded me of something, Kareni - during dd's senior year, we had friends from here who happened to be passing through dd's college town (1200 miles away) on Parents Weekend. They took her to dinner one night, they walked around the town the following day - it was perfect for dd, as she didn't feel like an orphan for PW but also didn't feel totally tied up with outside activities and could spent a good chunk of the weekend on her school work. What nice friends! And you make a good point about the fact that many of these outside activities can eat up a lot of time while academic commitments continue. Regards, Kareni 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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