Soph the vet Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 My dd5, almost 6, has developed fears relating to "being alone on a different level of the house". We live in a 4-level split, so going up and down short staircases is a constant here. Recently my dd will not go up to a different level by herself even in the middle of the day with good lighting, etc. Is this normal? My other two never did this! She has a flare for the dramatic, IYKWIM, anyway so I don't know if part of this is an act or real. Like she would rather be disciplined than obey me when I ask her to go up to use the bathroom or whatever, complete with meltdown. Any thoughts are welcome! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 My dd5, almost 6, has developed fears relating to "being alone on a different level of the house". We live in a 4-level split, so going up and down short staircases is a constant here. Recently my dd will not go up to a different level by herself even in the middle of the day with good lighting, etc. Is this normal? My other two never did this! She has a flare for the dramatic, IYKWIM, anyway so I don't know if part of this is an act or real. Like she would rather be disciplined than obey me when I ask her to go up to use the bathroom or whatever, complete with meltdown.Any thoughts are welcome! I don't know if it is normal or not, but my ds, who is now 8 1/2 has been this way for probably 2 years. He is just now getting better. It is just ridiculous and it drives me nuts. I go from having sympathy for him over it to being sick of it and just wanting him to stop being so afraid. We live in a 2350 sf house that is laid out long...ya know? long and narrow. But not THAT long. The bedrooms are at one end, ds's room being at the end of the hall...and from his room to my kitchen it is about 12 steps. Ask me how I know. :glare: The bathroom that ds uses is even closer to the kitchen/den area and he is TERRIFIED to take a shower alone. He opens up the towel cabinet that is above the toilet and somehow feels a bit safer when those doors are open? :confused: I think it comes from having a very vivid imagination. If he sees a preview to a show that is scary he will remember it for weeks. I am careful of what I let him watch because the loud, extreme action with anything scary type shows will haunt him for weeks. I'm not talking anything like horror...just your normal kid shows.. Anyway, you aren't alone. I think some kids are just that way for a period of time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KIN Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 My oldest and youngest boys are like this. My oldest is 8!!!!! He still doesn't like to be on a level by himself. I find it ridiculous, but haven't figured out how to make it go away! So, no anwers, just sympathy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 Irrational? Yup. Anything we could do about it? No. Was it simply a phase? Yup again. Not fun, really annoying, no amount of dialogue with dd would help. :banghead: Thank the Lord for her sister who was often made the escort. Someday we will look back at this and........ well, still hate it probably.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KS_ Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 My 7 yo dd is still like this about going into the basement by herself. Sometimes she's fine, other times it's a huge deal and she just won't go because she says she's scared (doesn't matter if it's daytime and we do have big basement windows with lots of light). And I remember being frightened of going upstairs when I was about 9 in a house we lived in (especially at night). I think it's just a personality thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 Oh and I wanted to add that I think I was like this around the same age. I was 8 and the school bus dropped me off at our house...one day, my mom was late getting home by about 10 minutes...I wouldn't go in the house until she got there. :) Also, I remember being in bed vividly imagining a giant spider (as in as big as a house) was going to come in through my bedroom wall. Now,as an adult, I think I must have seen some sci-fi movie with that giant spider...but I was very terrified. So I try to remember that feeling and not be too hard on ds. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sleepy Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 My ds did something similar when he was about 5 or 6. He refused to go to the bathroom (of all places!) unless someone went in first to "make sure it was safe." Once the bathroom was deemed safe, he also needed someone to stay in the immediate area while he was in the bathroom. He was genuinely scared, so I just tried to give him lots of reassurance and stayed close when he seemed to need me to. I think this only lasted for a few months, and then he was fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom0012 Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 Yes, either totally normal or both of my children have a problem. Both of them went through this starting at around 5 or 6 and it took quite a while for them to grow out of it. It took my son longer than my daughter. Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiguirre Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 My dd just started with an irrational fear of nightime lights and shadows. What kind of kid is afraid of LIGHTS???? OTOH, I remember the terror of being alone upstairs or in the dark, and I did outgrow it :D. I think it's just a stage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 When DD was 6, she would not go upstairs unless someone else was there, and they had to be near her room. She eventually progressed to not being upstairs alone at night only. I think her brothers started it by telling her about vampires. (DS have always been exceedingly helpful.) This fear lasted for several years. She was also afraid of squirrels for no reason whatsoever. We could not take a walk without this fear cropping up. Thank heavens that did not last long. RC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 similar experience here - both in my dc and myself when I was young. Does he have a special stuffed animal that could go along with him? Sometimes something like that works but of course, sometimes it doesn't:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soph the vet Posted September 10, 2008 Author Share Posted September 10, 2008 I feel so much better after reading all your responses! I'll try to sympathize with her and I'll try Jean's suggestion of a special animal to tag along. Thanks, everyone! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zelda Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 Sounds like me as a kid. Is she very imaginative? I think mine developed into anxiety b/c my parents, not prone to fears, were so unsympathetic. As a parent now I totally understand how annoyed and frustrated they must have been but I think the situation would have resolved itself had they been more soothing without confirming my fears. KWIM? Like, "I know you're scared but I wouldn't let you walk down the stairs if it was dangerous. Let's try again later." Something like that. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jill Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 My son had this from five until just recently at six and a half. We discussed the difference between his imagination getting ahold of him and using his rational mind and thinking away his fear. Didn't work right away, maybe it helped but also he takes his dog (real) with him most of the time now if he feels he needs the companionship. But for a while there, yes, we had to go to the bathroom with him and all! Now he'll go into our half-finished basement, potentially creepy to a child, only with his dog to play on the ladder and trapeze and things we have down there. Sounds like it's not an uncommon phase for the most part. That's good to know even after the fact. - Jill in ND Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Camy-7 boybarians 1 lady Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 I do not think this is an irrational fear at all. My children have all experienced this. What is the occasion for her to spend time alone in a certain area of the house? Is it quiet time? Blessings, Camy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soph the vet Posted September 10, 2008 Author Share Posted September 10, 2008 Sounds like me as a kid. Is she very imaginative? I think mine developed into anxiety b/c my parents, not prone to fears, were so unsympathetic. As a parent now I totally understand how annoyed and frustrated they must have been but I think the situation would have resolved itself had they been more soothing without confirming my fears. KWIM? Like, "I know you're scared but I wouldn't let you walk down the stairs if it was dangerous. Let's try again later." Something like that. Good luck. Yes, very imaginative. And thank you for the confirmation that I need to be more sympathetic!! I am not by nature a "soothing " mom but I will try really hard with this:D. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mooooom Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 My dd was never afraid of anything. I used to tell them to take a cat with them. Our cats got hauled around a lot, but didn't seem to mind, and it was enough for the boys. They never stayed upstairs alone though, just got waht they needed and hauled it back down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcjlkplus3 Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 My dd5, almost 6, has developed fears relating to "being alone on a different level of the house". We live in a 4-level split, so going up and down short staircases is a constant here. Recently my dd will not go up to a different level by herself even in the middle of the day with good lighting, etc. Is this normal? My other two never did this! She has a flare for the dramatic, IYKWIM, anyway so I don't know if part of this is an act or real. Like she would rather be disciplined than obey me when I ask her to go up to use the bathroom or whatever, complete with meltdown.Any thoughts are welcome! both of my girls went through this phase around 3 or 4. Luckily sister or brother going with her was sufficient. If the others are older, maybe they would be willing to accompany for a while? My ds3.5 hasn't (and hopefully won't) hit this phase yet. FWIW, the phase didn't last long. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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