Changes and homeschool identity

[Plaid Dad]

Some of you know that I'm going to be teaching at a classical high school this year, and my dd will be in a cottage school three days a week. I'll be teaching three subjects at the cottage school, the families are great, and we're all excited. (When I'm not overwhelmed with lesson planning, that is.)

 

Technically, my dd is still homeschooled. The cottage school is a parent-led co-op using LCC; all the families involved are responsible for reporting to their respective districts; I will be teaching my dd at least some of her subjects; we'll be home two days out of the school week. But I'm finding myself feeling out of touch with homeschooling all of a sudden. I've always been out of the loop in our local area, where unschooling is the norm, but now I find myself identifying more with ps parents as we try to sort out wake-up times, lunches, and after school activities.

 

I'm realizing that being a homeschooler has been such a huge part of my identity that I'm having a hard time figuring out what these changes mean to me, as well as to my dd. Any words of wisdom from folks who've BTDT would be much appreciated, as would your prayers and good thoughts for my family as we launch ourselves into this new phase of our lives.

[sdWTMer]

Some of you know that I'm going to be teaching at a classical high school this year, and my dd will be in a cottage school three days a week. I'll be teaching three subjects at the cottage school, the families are great, and we're all excited. (When I'm not overwhelmed with lesson planning, that is.)

 

Technically, my dd is still homeschooled. The cottage school is a parent-led co-op using LCC; all the families involved are responsible for reporting to their respective districts; I will be teaching my dd at least some of her subjects; we'll be home two days out of the school week. But I'm finding myself feeling out of touch with homeschooling all of a sudden. I've always been out of the loop in our local area, where unschooling is the norm, but now I find myself identifying more with ps parents as we try to sort out wake-up times, lunches, and after school activities.

 

I'm realizing that being a homeschooler has been such a huge part of my identity that I'm having a hard time figuring out what these changes mean to me, as well as to my dd. Any words of wisdom from folks who've BTDT would be much appreciated, as would your prayers and good thoughts for my family as we launch ourselves into this new phase of our lives.

 

Take heart Plaid Dad. All will be good. You have my prayers! Enjoy your new job. :grouphug:

[Michelle in MO]

I'm realizing that being a homeschooler has been such a huge part of my identity that I'm having a hard time figuring out what these changes mean to me, as well as to my dd. Any words of wisdom from folks who've BTDT would be much appreciated, as would your prayers and good thoughts for my family as we launch ourselves into this new phase of our lives.

 

Technically, we're not really homeschoolers anymore, either, although my heart is still there. :) It's been a huge part of my existence, too, and I've found myself floundering a little at times over the past few weeks.

 

Although we've always been early risers here, our family has been getting used to the rush, rush, rush of getting out the door by 7:00 a.m. for our 30-minute commute to their school. The evening homework routine has been a real adjustment, and our extracurricular activities have suffered as we're trying to figure out how to balance with everything.

 

We will be praying for you and your family. I wish we had such a cottage school here; I've always envisioned a quality classical Christian school in our area, one that would either be full-time or part-time, that would have an "open doors" policy to homeschoolers. So much would have to change in our town's cultural climate, though. I still haven't given up.

 

At any rate, we have great admiration for what you're doing and the new journey your family will be engaged in! Please keep us posted with how things are going; we will continue to pray for you.

[Mama Lynx]

I've not BTDT, but it seems to me, from your post, that you are focusing on the trappings, not the substance.

 

Okay, so now you've got to wake up and get somewhere on time, and worry about lunches and backpacks. But still, you have fully made the call for your child's education. You are still in charge of teaching her, and of what she is taught. She is still not part of education handed out or controlled by the government. You're just changing your lifestyle.

 

And if it drives you nuts, you can change back :D (I know that would be harder for you because you're teaching, and heavily involved with this school, and you have obligations. But it is a choice, in the end.)

 

I so love the idea of these community schools, that come together intentionally for a common goal. I have to admit the trappings of school life would make me crazy - that is honestly one reason we homeschool.

 

I do hope other cottage schoolers chime in. I'm interested to know if they have the same feelings about their change in identity.

[Paula in MS]

My daughter (6) started going to a supplemental school on Fridays that is just for homeschoolers. The worst part for me is that I just don't know what she is doing all day. I asked a lot of questions and got 6-yr old answers. I felt a loss of control. That may be what you feel with the cottage school. You know what she will be studying but you're not really in control anymore. On another note, my daughter had a blast!

 

Paula

[RoughCollie]

I am a hybrid HS/PS parent. The hardest thing for me to get used to was keeping up with my kids' schoolwork and obligations which were assigned by others. Those things were easy to remember when I made the assignments, not so any more.

 

Another thing that changed is that I now look forward to weekends so I can sleep later than 6 a.m. and go to bed later than 10 p.m.

 

I hate making packed lunches, specifically stuffing food into baggies and making sure there is enough portable food in the house to pack.

 

Basically, I feel like I live in an organizational nightmare during the school year -- I am a scholastically bifurcated Mom. The fun never stops.

 

I'm sure that after you and your family adjust, everything will run smoothly. You are still a homeschooling parent from my point of view.

 

BTW, is the cottage school attended only by homeschooled kids? If so, you can think of yourself as a subspecies: Pooled - Resource Homeschooler. :-)

 

RC

[Heather in the Kootenays]

is that homeschooling parents still "feel" like homeschooling parents even when their kids graduate from home onto other things. It's a mindset that isn't changed. You'll still be one of us.

 

Many homeschool moms I know work part time and thus never gave up the world of wakeup calls, after school activities and lunch. I am in a small group with a physio and a music teacher where we all have work outside the home and pass our boys back and forth for different school courses. We're still homeschoolers and we'd consider you one too.

 

PS Lunches are the worst part of it all.

 

HELP. Someone teach me how to edit the title. I recall hearing it was possible but ??

[Andie]

Any words of wisdom from folks who've BTDT would be much appreciated, as would your prayers and good thoughts for my family as we launch ourselves into this new phase of our lives.

 

 

You've got 'em. Do keep us updated, please. :001_smile:

[Starr]

Three days a week means you get four !!! The hardest thing for me was giving my daughter's best waking hours to someone else when she was in school. You have to keep working everything out as you go. Just when I'm well set in one developmental phase they move on to another. :) I'm starting to out source some of my daughters classes and even that makes me rethink who I am. You're in my prayers.

[chiguirre]

I've always had my oldest in school, so we've always had to be out the door at 8:45 for dropoff and 2:45 for pickup. I find that it helps get us moving and keeps us on track. After the initial shock, I'm sure you'll both get in the groove and the schedule will seem like second nature.

 

Lunches, alas, are just part of being out. I have a few meals that ds likes and will usually eat. If you can heat food up, leftovers are a great idea. If not, develop a few sandwich and finger food recipes that your dd enjoys and get into a meal rotation that's easy on you. Try to avoid setting precedents you won't be able to keep up with on the lunch front. In a couple of weeks, lunch packing will be down pat and you can do it in a couple of minutes a day.

 

Good luck with your new direction! There are lots of 2 or 3 day a week programs and they can be a great thing for lots of families. You still get most of the advantages of hsing plus some of the good points of institutional schools.

[muffinmom]

I have no real advice, just warm thoughts and prayers. :grouphug: Seems like you will always have the heart of a homeschooling parent, just some of the details have changed.

[magistramom]

:grouphug: !!!!!!!!!!!

 

Drew,

 

I love what Mama Lynx said about not focusing on the trappings. Consider it freedom! The Lord needs you to share your talents right now, and He has provided you ways to continue some of your earthly goals for your family as well.

 

I wish and dream for the community school concept that Holt and others have - that is, the school building as a multi-generational "place" rather than an institution, to exchange knowledge. I get excited when I ponder Gatto's idea of skipping college as well, but that is another topic for another day.

 

I can't say that I've BTDT, as I feel I constantly live it:) I have found so much freedom when I began to let go of the attachment to one educational philosophy, group, or idea of how homeschooling should "look". When those expectations were dropped, I found I could live as things "are". When my confidence is shaken about our school choices, I have to pull myself away from "my perceptions" (it's only a perception, it's not really how it is right now in this moment, let it go...my mantras), and really look at how things are. More often than not - things are GREAT! and the kids are HAPPY! If they aren't we get away from the house and experience something in life together.

 

I admire that you've been able to, with fervor, completely explore one end of the learning spectrum - classical education, tutorials, home learning, and now, candidly bring us along as you begin your new life path. It's been fascinating to learn along with you! It will help so many that may have similar struggles - struggles of living within an expectation of homeschooling while also trying to live with one foot in worldly activities.

 

With that base already built and believed, of course it is scary to explore the other end of the spectrum (anything that nears public school). It's also scary to move toward unschooling from formal ideas. I'm a loose cannon. When we began WTM, I realized there needed to be a balance between study and our given free spirits. Sometimes to hone ideas, we need to gravitate to the end that is less familiar. (Why I enjoy Sandra Dodd...).

 

I sometimes think the MOST radical homeschool area is not on the extreme classical v. unschooling sides; instead, the most radical place is in the MIDDLE (where you are at with co-ops, where others are with afterschooling or dual enrollment) because when you are there, you can clearly see the great things about both sides, and are brave enough to glean and implement the best from both ends of the spectrum. This IS Holt's area. It's also aggravating that you can't quite peg those middle of the road people - they aren't PS, and they aren't HS - but something seems to really work. It is hard for many to admit that really, when you are in the middle of the road, and can freely bounce between sides, you get the best of ALL worlds.

 

Honestly, if you poll, I have a feeling you'd find that co-ops and other alternative learning centers are the case for most teens anyway. I say, push it down, grasp it, and let J take flight with the best of all worlds! Maybe in her adulthood, she can further the dream (and work through some of the major kinks) that many of us have for community schools and flexible learning for ALL.

 

Hey... remember that you can move out here, help us build a co-op with J included, put A to work with people who need her, and run the classical school in our area! Take care! ~Di

[Doran]

It is not often clear the path our lives will take, though we like very much to believe that we know where we are headed and the look of the final destination. My hunch is that you will, one day, see this change of course as a wise and wonderful experience, one that enabled you and your family to grow in ways you could never have forseen.

 

At least, that's what I'm telling myself in the midst of our own transition. :)

 

 

Peace, Drew.

[G5052]

As you may remember, we've been involved with Classical Conversations (CC) for three years now, and next year my oldest will be in their Challenge program which is really a one-day-a-week school.

 

At first I balked at letting go some of the control even though I liked what CC does, but in the end I found it very freeing. I am in agreement with almost everything they do anyway, and I can spend the time I used to spend on worrying about curriculum on actually teaching and being with my children, which I think benefits them more. They've loved the regular fellowship and accountability. So I still have my convictions and priorities, but I've chosen to delegate appropriately and it's going well. I honestly think we've grown more with the hybrid than we would have just homeschooling on our own.

 

There are so many ways to homeschool.:auto:

[Melissa B]

Sorry! Posted in the wrong place!

[Carol in Cal.]

...a profound, utter conviction that they are completely responsible for their children's education, and a profound, utter conviction that no one gets to make their children's educational decisions for them.

 

I developed both convictions before my DD was 5. I carried them through her year in a Lutheran kindergarten. I was a homeschooler at heart even when I didn't actually homeschool.

 

What made me know that I knew that I was really a homeschooler that kindergarten year was when I got a note from the kindergarten teacher that basically said that she was really excited about being with the children the next week because they were going to read for the first time. And I was not happy about that at all--I felt like it was wildly inappropriate, something like a daycare provider being excited about witnessing your child's first steps. Profoundly, utterly, my conviction in both of those cases was and would be that it is MY place to do those things with my child, not someone else's.

 

As children get older we let them go. We delegate increasing parts of their education to others. We make choices in their best interests that sometimes exclude us from active roles. But we are always responsible, and we are always in charge.

 

Plaid Dad, you have had a big taste of this. And that's it! You're hooked! There is no turning back! You might not always homeschool, but I'll bet that in your heart you will always be a homeschooler, and you will always know that if push comes to shove you are not at the mercy of any other educational institution.

[KidsHappen]

I am sure that you will do great and this sounds like a wonderful opportunity for both of you. And of course, you will still be a homeschooler. I think that it is something we are in our heart not just a way of schooling our children. I have one in PS this year but she is still homeschooled, she just goes to PS a few hours each day. :) Yeah, it has it's rough spots but you adjust, you stretch, you grow and then incorporate and move on. Your powers of organization far surpass my own so I know if I can adjust to PS then you will do great in your new schooling situation. Good luck to both of you. :grouphug:

[Plaid Dad]

Thank you, everyone, for the reassuring and encouraging responses. It's true that I've been caught up in a whirlwind of logistics and (gak!) shopping, and it was only yesterday that the emotional impact of these changes started to catch up with me.

 

I'm comfortable with the decisions we've made, which represent many positive things for our family. But as in all decisions, saying yes to one choice means saying no to a host of others. So there's a sense of loss as well, even knowing that the cottage school and my teaching job are Good Things all around.

 

So again, thanks for the reassurances! I hope to have a good report of our experiences later in the week. :)

[Camy-7 boybarians 1 lady]

I'm right there with you! Now that my oldest boys (twin 14 yo) are attending public high school part time, I feel as if I have a split personality. Change in life is good, yet the transition certainly is interesting.

 

Blessings,

 

Camy

[Brigitte]

My daughter (6) started going to a supplemental school on Fridays that is just for homeschoolers. The worst part for me is that I just don't know what she is doing all day. I asked a lot of questions and got 6-yr old answers. I felt a loss of control. That may be what you feel with the cottage school. You know what she will be studying but you're not really in control anymore. On another note, my daughter had a blast!

 

Paula

 

:lol: I got that same feeling yesterday when my girls started Sunday School! That was only for 1.5 hours. I can't imagine what I would be like for a whole day! :lol: