carriethegood Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Both DH and I grew up as evangelical Christians and still self-identify in that category. When we moved to this city 2 years ago we had a 4 week old baby and a toddler and we settled at a bigger baptist church--the first church we visited (the toddler liked it). It definitely felt like "settling" even from week #1 for a number of minor reasons. Neither of us could in good conscience sign the membership form. We're looking to find a place that we can really call home. We'd like to serve our community. We'd like to not be made to feel as though believing that the earth is possibly millions of years old is tantamount to blasphemy. Baptist didn't work out for us. What direction should we go from here? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 If this were me, I would look at non-denominational churches or smaller SBC church plants. Locally, we have several plants, and many non-denom churches pastored by former Baptists. Those churches tend to be more casual and accepting while still adhering to the Word of God. It's sad when the young earth/old earth turns into a salvation issue. I'm sorry. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 That's not a lot to go on. Is that the only issue your concerned about? What about doctrine? Worship styles? Have you done any research into other denominations? Are you interested in a church with more historical background? Theologically meaty or seeker-friendly? There's a lot to consider. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zinnia Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 We played around with a lot of church styles in the first years of our marriage. We went to a giant Baptist church for a while, and it was a good fit for us at the time, but we moved, and I'm glad we did, because it wouldn't have been a good fit forever. We currently attend a church that was Vineyard, and the whole church turned Anglican. I love that mix, and it's really good for us. We've also enjoyed non-denominational churches in the past, but they definitely have the "flavor" so to speak of the background of the pastor. So a pastor with a Baptist background makes a very comfortable non-denom for us. Pastors with Methodist backgrounds tend to have a tiny bit more liturgy... Minor stuff like that, but it does influence the feel of the church. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 We've attended (and been members of) multiple denominations throughout our lives (and moves). If there's one thing I feel I know for certain, it's that no single denomination is always a certain way (at least not of the major denominations). My suggestion is to look at what your choices are and start visiting. You can probably weed out quite a few from their web sites. Start looking close to you (for convenience) and then work farther away. If you like a church, consider yourself still a visitor for the first 6 months or so. By then you should know if it's for you or not. Churches are a little bit like a good pair of shoes. You don't really know what fits until you've tried some on that don't. It can be worth trying on several to find the best fit, but obviously, select those you try based upon the basics that you already know you like (found via website). I used to suggest asking others where they went, but that can sometimes backfire because if you don't like their place, it seems to come across as a personal rejection for some people. I don't recommend that any longer. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiguirre Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 We're looking to find a place that we can really call home. We'd like to serve our community. We'd like to not be made to feel as though believing that the earth is possibly millions of years old is tantamount to blasphemy. Baptist didn't work out for us. What direction should we go from here? To Google. Seriously, look around at all the churches within your target area and see what service opportunities they have. Listen to their posted sermons if they've got them. Check out the denominations doctrine. When you've got a couple of choices in mind, visit them. I'd try to fly under the radar for at least the first week in case you hate it. Maybe only have one adult go alone for the first time before you take the kids. Good luck finding a fit! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speedmom4 Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 I went through a church transition a little over two years ago. I was very unhappy at the church we had been attending for over 10 years and was drawn to the faith I grew up in. I decided at that time to not look at church "amenities" and focus on doctrine or core beliefs. I found a website that had a comparison chart that listed denominations and doctrine and how they differed. It was extremely helpful! I soon discovered that the church we had been attending didn't line up to our beliefs doctrinally so no wonder we were unhappy. I was able to rule out certain churches because of doctrine. From there I moved onto history and Church Fathers but that's a whole other story! It was helpful for me to take out my emotions and look at it from a purely analytical point of view. I had changed churches before but I only looked at amenities and where friends attended rather than doctrine. I have never been happier in a church! God Bless, Elise in NC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 We've attended many denominations throughout our marriage. Really, even within denominations, they can vary so much. I never thought I'd be attending a Baptist church far a variety of reasons, but we attend two very good ones right now. (One in our hometown, the second when we live out of the country each year.) The hometown one is very small (literally 50-60 people), so maybe it feels like it has more freedom to be flexible?? It has even taken the word "Baptist" out of its sign, so as to not turn people away. (Even though it's still part of the Baptist synod.) It recognizes that some people in the congregation were baptized as infants, are Democrats, and support the old earth theory. It has no problem with that. The other Baptist church we attend is an international church for all the ex-pats and people for whom English is an easier second language than Spanish. We love it. It's a big church that has a huge outward focus. (Doesn't live in a bubble.) I'm sure it must recognize the fact that being the only English-speaking church in the city, its congregation comes from many backgrounds and denominations, and it is very welcoming of "secondary views." (age of baptism, old earth/young earth, etc.) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milovany Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Agreeing with the above -- usually, especially in Protestanism, you just have to visit different churches to see what they're like and if you think they're a good fit. It depends what things are important to you when it comes to church. For some, it's kids/youth ministry, for some it's the music, for some theology, for some historical roots. Are you committed to Protestanism, though? That's something else to consider. There are other options out there that might meet your needs. We converted from Protestantism to Eastern Orthodoxy about five years ago (for us it was about the historical roots of the church), and it was the best decision we ever made when it comes to where we'll attend and raise our family. I've seen stories like that from others as well (not specifically about EO, but in making a big change, in choosing something that hadn't been previously considered). Best to you as you search. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 If there's one thing I feel I know for certain, it's that no single denomination is always a certain way (at least not of the major denominations). . . . Churches are a little bit like a good pair of shoes. You don't really know what fits until you've tried some on that don't. It can be worth trying on several to find the best fit, but obviously, select those you try based upon the basics that you already know you like (found via website). I used to suggest asking others where they went, but that can sometimes backfire because if you don't like their place, it seems to come across as a personal rejection for some people. I don't recommend that any longer. Yes on the denomination thing. When we moved we decided to start with churches in our last church's denomination. Night and day, even though doctrine and the format of the service were the same. And same on asking others. Sometimes it works out, sometimes not. When we first moved we asked our next door neighbor where they went. Tried their church--it was horrible. It was such a small church it was obvious we were new and not a single person said hi to us. Not even the pastor. I felt glad at the time that our neighbor didn't ask how it went; we didn't see them as we went to the first service and they went to the second. Interestingly a few months later Something happened at that church--nothing that would get the pastor fired--and our neighbors left their church and started coming to ours. Funny thing, shortly after they switched we ended up leaving that church for a different one--one we heard about after dh asked another soccer dad where they went. lol. OP, I don't know what to recommend to you other than to keep looking. I know it's exhausting. I know. You might try non-denominational or LCMS. Best to you on your search. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Both DH and I grew up as evangelical Christians and still self-identify in that category. When we moved to this city 2 years ago we had a 4 week old baby and a toddler and we settled at a bigger baptist church--the first church we visited (the toddler liked it). It definitely felt like "settling" even from week #1 for a number of minor reasons. Neither of us could in good conscience sign the membership form. We're looking to find a place that we can really call home. We'd like to serve our community. We'd like to not be made to feel as though believing that the earth is possibly millions of years old is tantamount to blasphemy. Baptist didn't work out for us. What direction should we go from here? Perhaps look into Evangelical Free church? As a lifelong Baptist, (though I'm pretty sure not ALL Baptists have the same stance on creation. There are an awful lot of Baptist denominations) I was comfortable attending but unable to sign membership papers because of the denomination's stance on creation. Not salvation. One can be firmly young earth and still not believe it was a salvation issue. Salvation is by none other than Jesus Christ. You can believe in a young earth and still not be saved! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 I understand your pain. Finding a church is so hard. I end up feeling too liberal or too conservative. I really like one that we have attended here, but it's 40 minutes away, in an opposite direction from everything else we regularly do, and realistically, it'll only ever be a Sunday morning church, if that. It's just too far to get involved with it very much. You might check out the Christian and Missionary Alliance (cmalliance.org, I think). My parents started attending there in about 1990, after coming from a Southern Baptist church. The church here that I like is a CMA. I don't know how they feel about the YE/OE thing, though, but afaik, they do not ordain women as pastors, just to give you an idea of their "level." (I suspect many of the people at my parents' church would say YE, but I also don't know that it's a big issue, kwim?) I've had people suggest Presbyterian to me too. PC in America, maybe, as the more conservative. Around here, Baptist is big, but the area in general is more conservative, and I have several friends who are YE. I'm currently semi-attending (as in, I've been a couple of times) a new Foursquare church because it's super close. I liked their Easter message, but I don't know a lot about it otherwise. But you just have to try some. Something that matches "on paper" might not match in worship style. Or some issue might be a bigger deal at some churches than others. It is hard. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carriethegood Posted April 22, 2015 Author Share Posted April 22, 2015 Thanks so much everyone. Yes, we will need to keep looking and I think the advice about starting closer to home and moving outward from there is good. I'm not totally set on Protestantism although hubby is. Eastern Orthodox has intrigued me for years. I have the majority vote on church selection because as an airline pilot he's only able to attend Sunday services 20% of the time (if that). I wouldn't likely convert if he wasn't on board. But more liturgical elements would be very appealing. I actually grew up Christian & Missionary Alliance and loved their service focus. No options here unfortunately. I'm off to look more closely at a doctrine comparison chart! Thanks again to you all; I'm feeling less defeated about church shopping (horrid phrase). Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom22ns Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 If age of earth was the only problem you had, try a different Baptist church. I spent 30 years in SB churches and never encountered one where YE was taught or even believed. I can remember on pastor speaking of his belief in an old earth from the pulpit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 This is an interesting comparison chart, and I have found it to be pretty spot on as far as telling the truth about the different denominations. http://www.rose-publishing.com/Denominations-Comparison-Pamphlet-P94.aspx#.VTfz6iFViko Of course, no brochure can tell the complete story on any denomination, but it still can give a bird's-eye view. (ETA the link...which I talked about but omitted in the original post. Typical.) The thing is, there are still "issues" as people mean different things when they use the same words. NOT meaning to put on any pressure here...but one of the things that is interesting to me, now that I am Eastern Orthodox, is that traveling and finding a church to attend is a lot EASIER than when I was a Protestant. Orthodoxy is the same in belief and practice in most places, and so even if it is in GREEK, I am in the same liturgy as I would be at my home parish. I never used to go to church when I was on the road, because it was too much work to figure out who agreed with ME. But now that I am Orthodox, when I travel, I attend church almost all the time...regardless of whether it is Russin or Greek or Serbian or whatever... AMERICAN...because it is the same service and I don't have to analyze everything. I just get to worship. Well. God be with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenniferB Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 God bless your search. The young Earth mandate pushed at our former church was one of the issues that built up a discontent in my husband (I had my own issues.) We took a quick peek at church history and a year and a half later became Orthodox Christians. That was 4 years ago. I couldn't be more satisfied this side of Heaven, working out my salvation with fear and trembling joined with the ancient Church. May Jesus guide you and keep you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.