Another routine versus schedule question

[Ausmumof3]

I like the decreased stress of having a routine versus a schedule. It is more relaxed and we're all happier. The trouble I run into is that on certain days, we end up with a bottleneck. Everything takes longer than it should and then the last few jobs on the list don't get done. Well the last two jobs on my list are fold laundry and evening tidy up. So you can imagine what happens when they get missed for a few days.

 

How do you handle the messy days or low energy days so that everything still gets done if you don't have a tight schedule.

[Plink]

Personally, I'd look at your routine and revise it. If something is routinely falling aside, it isn't really part of your routine is it? You either have your expectations set too high, you aren't diligently following your routine, or you need to move some things around.

 

Would it be better to do laundry in the morning?

Do you need to simply force yourself to get laundry done at night?

Should you assign it to someone else once a week?

[73349]

I think a routine can still have a deadline at the end. If you have in mind a time at which evening tidy-up ought to start, you can wind down or trim the preceding activity in anticipation. That doesn't mean all the previous activities need to be scheduled.

[Kendall]

You could have a time designated at which the things before the tidy/laundry stop.  Then if the last things before that are consistently not getting done you could start rotating them at a certain point in the routine.  So if history, art, science are the last 3, One day you start with history the next with art, the next with science.  So that different things are "missed" each day and the essentials get done (Which for me would include laundry and tidy).  You could also combine somethings.  We do "literature and laundry" at the end of our school day.  I read and the kids fold (I put a load in at night and try to switch it and start another during the day) and also now I have an older one that will work on dinner while he listens to me read.  Then we all quickly put the laundry  away.  I've also given kids history lectures, etc to listen to while they tidy.   

[Coco_Clark]

We have a routine with a few hard stops.

 

So we have prayers and breakfast at 8am by the clock, everyday. Then we bein our morning routine, but we have lunch at 12:30 by the clock, wether we finished the entire morning routine or not and after it switches to the afternoon routine. We have our last hard stop at 5, when everyone cleans up and preps the house or dad nd dinner.

 

Messy an low energy days? Not everything gets done. That's just reality. I try o schedule free time and play time for right before a hard stop. It encourages the kids to get things done. They know they could have a two hour break or a ten minute one.

 

But if not everything is getting done over 50% of the time? That's when you reset expectations.

[HS Mom in NC]

Academics

 

I plan school for the week, not the day.  So far, it's worked well to even things out. We work diligently and get the essentials and extras done on those days.  On bad days we barely get the essentials done. I have a safe place to keep things we didn't get to and we use them some other time or pass them on to someone else and call it "ministry." 

On really bad days we don't get the essentials done. On occasion, I take the more important unfinished assignments that didn't get done that week and add them to next week's folder and we do then then.  I use the 36 week file folder system.Since we have mostly good days we make steady progress in almost any given week.

 

Household Chores

 

Each kid has daily and weekly chores assigned for a whole month starting at age 6.  They shadow and help me  in the preschool years so they learn how to do it themselves.   The list rotates between all the kids.  The weekly chores are assigned for particular week days so we have weekends free of chores.  If we don't get it done during the week, we make it up in the weekend.

 

Everyone at my house puts away their own laundry the second the buzzer goes off until they're doing their own laundry. Children can learn to do their own laundry by age 8. 

Everyone helps tidy up the downstairs when  I yell, "All hands on deck! Report to the downstairs immediately!" Then they have to put away anything that's theirs or anything they got out.  Then they start doing their assigned chores because you can't vacuum until you've straightened up and you can't mop the hard floors until you've vacuumed. Besides, no one should have to pick up someone else's messes unless that person is ill or gone. We need to learn to pick up after ourselves.   I like to call it the "opening ceremonies" of chores.

 

Are there times when it just doesn't get done at all because sometimes life is crazy?  Yes.  I just write that off as "real life" and move on. We skip it entirely or we have on rare occasions stopping doing school and caught up with the house.  That probably happened 3 or 4 times a year when I had younger kids.  It was worth it.

I finally figured out that accurately predicting the future is really hard and there's no legitimate reason to be upset when I fail to do so.  Oh well.  That's life.  Move on. Also, there's no plan or routine that can work for every eventuality or circumstance.  Stop trying to find one that works 100% of the time because it doesn't exist. Instead look for one that works about 80-85% of the time and cut yourself some slack  the other 15-20% of the time. (These percentages can be different depending on the number of littles and special needs kids in the home.)

[Mandy in TN]

I agree with what others have said about having goals for the week rather than the day, about shifting what you do first so that it isn't the same thing the gets left off every time, and I also agree regarding percentages that if this is a routine that is only accomplished a small percentage of the time then you need to rethink because you may simply have too much on your plate.

 

It may also be that you need to compartmentalize your school time and your housework. During the day we do school, when the sun sets we do xyz housework or an hour before dinner or the first hour of the morning or whatever.

 

HTH-

Mandy

[Arcadia]

Whatever important and/or urgent things that didn't get done the day before just gets bump to the first tasks of the day. Messy laundry won't bother me as much as running out of toilet paper :)

[Pen]

It is difficult here too! I've been trying to use schoolwork breaks for some things like housework. Or fold laundry while schoolwork that needs me to be around, but not active in it every moment is happening. Still, I have some chronic health issues, and getting behind is a real problem.

[Ausmumof3]

Personally, I'd look at your routine and revise it. If something is routinely falling aside, it isn't really part of your routine is it? You either have your expectations set too high, you aren't diligently following your routine, or you need to move some things around.

 

Would it be better to do laundry in the morning?

Do you need to simply force yourself to get laundry done at night?

Should you assign it to someone else once a week?

I should clarify that I do laundry in the morning but I live in aus and line dry so I fold iron and put away in the evening. There isn't really anyone to delegate to. Actually I think the ironing is part of the problem. We keep up better when I don't iron.

[Ausmumof3]

I think a routine can still have a deadline at the end. If you have in mind a time at which evening tidy-up ought to start, you can wind down or trim the preceding activity in anticipation. That doesn't mean all the previous activities need to be scheduled.

Ok I do have a deadline 5pm when dinner gets prepped. I think it need to move that back to 4pm for laundry and tidy up.

[Ausmumof3]

You could have a time designated at which the things before the tidy/laundry stop. Then if the last things before that are consistently not getting done you could start rotating them at a certain point in the routine. So if history, art, science are the last 3, One day you start with history the next with art, the next with science. So that different things are "missed" each day and the essentials get done (Which for me would include laundry and tidy). You could also combine somethings. We do "literature and laundry" at the end of our school day. I read and the kids fold (I put a load in at night and try to switch it and start another during the day) and also now I have an older one that will work on dinner while he listens to me read. Then we all quickly put the laundry away. I've also given kids history lectures, etc to listen to while they tidy.

I like the idea of literature and laundry. I might try that. Where do you source your history lectures from?

 

I do a kind of rotating schedule with subjects anyway though it is not planned more of a what haven't we hit in a while. We are doing sonlight but I'm no longer following the daily schedules.

[Ausmumof3]

We have a routine with a few hard stops.

 

So we have prayers and breakfast at 8am by the clock, everyday. Then we bein our morning routine, but we have lunch at 12:30 by the clock, wether we finished the entire morning routine or not and after it switches to the afternoon routine. We have our last hard stop at 5, when everyone cleans up and preps the house or dad nd dinner.

 

Messy an low energy days? Not everything gets done. That's just reality. I try o schedule free time and play time for right before a hard stop. It encourages the kids to get things done. They know they could have a two hour break or a ten minute one.

 

But if not everything is getting done over 50% of the time? That's when you reset expectations.

Routines with hard stops... That is exactly what I need, thank you. It is kind of what I am evolving towards I think. The morning hard stop is the hardest to hit for me as I am so not a morning person but if I don't then the day gets yuck.

 

It's not over 50pc but a couple of days most weeks usually when we're out.

[Ausmumof3]

Thank you all. I think you have helped to clarify things and give myself a bit of grace too. I just need some minor tweaks not a complete rewrite. I think I need some kind of a light routine for the days we go out. These are the killers, because we live half an hour from anywhere so I try to pack as many jobs as possible into these days.

 

I do need to get the kids doing more. They help but ds7 could do some set chores instead of whatever random things I ask him to do. They all need to get much better at picking up their own stuff.

[MiMi 4under3]

This probably isn't the answer you're looking for, but when we start to fall behind, I'll either impose a "late night" of catching up, (really just an hour or two after dinner) or doubling up on something the following day.

 

I'll steal a few minutes from lunchtime or have them work during snacktime.

 

My favorite saying for these catch-up days is "Eat with your left, write with your right!"  :D

[HS Mom in NC]

If a dryer isn't an option for whatever reason, disregard the following.

I don't iron.  It's one of my goals in life to avoid ironing as much as possible.  OK, I own 3 pieces of clothing that need ironing and wear them rarely-maybe a few times a year.  If it needs ironing I don't buy it. If it can't go in the dryer I don't buy it.  If it needs dry cleaning I don't buy it.  The second the dryer buzzer goes off we drop what we're doing (including school) and we hang up everything that needs hanging up.  With all the cotton knit and micro fiber clothing available these days, there's no need for most clothes that need ironing.  My husband writes software at home and needs a dress shirt and dress pants ironed  a couple of times a month at most. For that I'll iron.  He has collard polo shirts that don't need ironing that he wears when he's on site too.    Other than that there's no need.  If my girls want something that needs ironing, it's up to them to do it. If they're too young to iron, they don't get clothes that need ironing.

 

I don't fold clothes.  Ever.  Everything I own goes on a hanger or just sits on a shelf (like denim shorts.) Everything else is hanging in our closets so we can rifle through them without making a mess of them.  I we hang up our SHOES. Everyone has a door rack for shoes and up they go off the floor so they don't take over the house.  

 

If there are dishes in the sink and my dishwasher is running I use paper plates and plastic cups for every meal until we're caught up. I don't apologize for that.  That may not fit everyone's budget as they may have other priorities for spending their money, but it's worth it to me.  Different disposable plates biodegrade at different rates and there are some plastic biodegradable cups now on the market so if that matters then do a little homework and see if there's an option that fits with your lifestyle choices.  When we eat sandwiches and (American) potato chips we do it like Subway sandwich shop-we eat off of paper towels for easy clean up.

[lots of little ducklings]

I should clarify that I do laundry in the morning but I live in aus and line dry so I fold iron and put away in the evening. There isn't really anyone to delegate to. Actually I think the ironing is part of the problem. We keep up better when I don't iron.

I threw out my ironing board last year and am not even sure where the iron is right now. So freeing! :-)

[Pen]

No ironing here either.

[mamatohaleybug]

We do hard stops, too, and that's what makes our routine work.

 

Good luck!

[mamamindy]

I do not iron, however DH does. ;)  

 

Like others have mentioned, we are routine people and I try to stick to stopping points.  I like to use hard times as "handles".  (I heard that somewhere and I like it.)  I recently bought a cheap watch just so I could really keep an eye on my stopping point and time won't get away from us (or me - while I'm chatting on this board. ;))

 

However, I still can't figure out when in the world I'm supposed to do housework.... :confused1:   So I am no help to you.  I will say that we are really working hard on developing good habits right now for my children and I'm not going to feel guilty about letting that take priority over schooling some days.  My hope is that this training will have great reward.  Good luck!

[IsabelC]

We have a sort of priority system, where in every area of life there are some things we do regularly, and other things we do when we get around to doing them. In the morning we eat, take care of personal hygiene, and then everybody does some basic chores. These change from time to time, but at the moment it's:

dh - clean the kitchen, load the dishwasher, make packed lunches when required

Mr. 11 - clean the bathroom and powder room and vacuum the hallway

Ms. 9 - take care of the hens, guinea pigs and fish, take out the compost

Ms. 5 - unload the dishwasher (she only gets a token amount of work because she spends a lot of time on music practice)

Meanwhile, I will be checking on the kids, starting the laundry, folding last night's laundry, sweeping the floor and/or generally tidying up

This minimum amount of work means that even on an unproductive day, at least we won't be freezing naked, with food poisoning, cholera and pets that have died of starvation  :laugh:

 

 

I try to loosely (and incompletely) follow the Flylady's checklists, so at some point in the morning when I am checking my emails, appointments and phone calls I need to make, I'll figure out what's for dinner. At this time, I also make a rough list of what I'm hoping to achieve for the rest of that day (stuff with the kids, housework, family paperwork, business paperwork or personal activities).

 

 

In the evening, the kids have to lay out their clothes for the following day, and if they don't have what they need they have to put on another load of laundry which I can then dry in front of the fire overnight (and we are getting a clothes dryer soon so that will be even easier  :hurray: ). The beauty of this system is that if I'm falling behind with the laundry for any reason, the kids will start to run out of things to wear and be forced to take over more of the laundry. Having some responsibility for their own clothes also makes them less apt to throw clean items in the wash, which they used to do a lot before because that was easier than putting things away. 

 

 

I have noticed that quite a lot of children don't seem to have regular chores around the house. I feel that it's really for everyone to contribute to the running of the household, and really any child who is old enough to walk is old enough to be doing chores. The key is to be patient with teaching them exactly what to do, and accepting that even with their best efforts not everything will be done 100% the way you would do it yourself (and it takes ages - I'm sure ds took about 15 minutes to iron his one shirt today).

[Mystie]

I agree with the advice on hard stops and on planning for a week not a day. 

 

It's also important to work on habits so that routines can flow more consistently and it takes less work to get them rolling.

 

I've also reframed my perfectionistic tendencies. Instead of making a beautiful plan and shooting for 100%, I plan 30 minutes of work for every hour and 80% is the new 100%. :)

 

“Three Secrets About Schedules†– I wrote this last week on this same idea.

[Woodland Mist Academy]

We're 80 percenters here as well. Julie Morgenstern mentions the concept in her books, which I recommend. If your schedule/routine/time map doesn't work 80% of the time, something probably needs to change.

[Woodland Mist Academy]

We have a routine with a few hard stops.

 

So we have prayers and breakfast at 8am by the clock, everyday. Then we bein our morning routine, but we have lunch at 12:30 by the clock, wether we finished the entire morning routine or not and after it switches to the afternoon routine. We have our last hard stop at 5, when everyone cleans up and preps the house or dad nd dinner.

 

Messy an low energy days? Not everything gets done. That's just reality. I try o schedule free time and play time for right before a hard stop. It encourages the kids to get things done. They know they could have a two hour break or a ten minute one.

 

But if not everything is getting done over 50% of the time? That's when you reset expectations.

 

This is almost exactly what we do, right down to the times. I even thought of you and this post today at one of our hard stops and wondered if you had just stopped too. ;) :)

[HS Mom in NC]

Different people integrate chores into their homeschools differently.

 

Morning Chores

Mid day Chores

Early Afternoon Chores

Evening Chores

Night time Chores

 

 

Morning Chores before or after breakfast

Chores immediately after school

Evening Chores before or after dinner

 

 

I used to do laundry day once a week. I did all the laundry in the house throughout the day. It was on a day when we didn't go anywhere.  It was also on a day when there weren't any other weekly chores done, just daily chores (dishes, litter boxes, straightening up, etc.) I've always done cereal, fruit, yogurt, toast type things for breakfast so the kids could do it themselves early on.  Then I had something super simple for lunch like sandwiches on paper towels. As soon as that was cleaned up dinner was in the crockpot.

 

Wake up, eat and get ready for the day

have everyone help get laundry gathered and sorted, start the first load

read Bible together and start kids on their lessons

mom moves laundry to the dryer and starts washing next load

dryer buzzer goes off and we all drop everything and everyone sorts and puts away laundry

move washed load into the dryer, start new load washing

back to lessons until the buzzer goes off

repeat until done, stopping to eat a meal when necessary

 

 

 

Some people keep up with laundry by doing it every day or almost every day.  Usually those are families big enough to still sort into separate loads. For those who may not have enough to separate loads, remember that modern dyes bleed far less than they ever did and there are products on the market to solve that problem.  It may be worth it if it helps someone wants to do a mixed load every day.

 

[Pen]

...

Everyone helps tidy up the downstairs when  I yell, "All hands on deck! Report to the downstairs immediately!" T...  We need to learn to pick up after ourselves.   I like to call it the "opening ceremonies" of chores.

 

 

 

I like your special words here--any others to share?

[Alte Veste Academy]

I like your special words here--any others to share?

 

Not words, but for emergency and quick cleanups, I call my kids together by blasting The Stampede music from The Lion King. I play it on a loop until we are finished.