s/o Video Game Addiction

[JumpyTheFrog]

If there isn't a Gamer's Anonymous, there should be. I watched my own brother ruin his middle and school experience and fail most of college (two different places) because of video game addiction. He has since been diagnosed with ADHD, but it was the video games that stole his chance at a good education.

 

I have a friend in her early 20s. When she was taking pre-reqs for nursing school, she heard over and over from most of the other women in her classes that their boyfriends of husbands were addicted to gaming.

 

I played lots of computer games as a kid, but by the time I was a teenager, I was too busy with other things to play much. I never got hooked, but my brother did. In college, my now DH thought I was getting addicted to Snood, so I stopped playing.

 

We are both very concerned about keeping our boys from becoming "vidiots," so we strictly limit screen time because they don't self-regulate very well. I hope as they get older, we can loosen up, but my oldest seems like he could easily get hooked. He can't even figure out if he's hungry or tired much of the time, so self-control of gaming time is unlikely until he's much older.

[OneStepAtATime]

I have a couple of nephews that are truly brilliant.  One is so addicted to video games that his father has to shut the power off to their home to keep him from logging on.  He went from relatively healthy to way over 50lbs overweight (and he is not a tall guy).  He never wants to go outside and he has lost all interest in many of the things he used to care about.  He just wants to play video games.  And it scares me.

 

I found, when DH and I were first married, that we were both sort of addicted to playing a game called Dune.  We realized it wasn't healthy and finally stopped for several years.  But we did not engage nearly as badly as I see a lot of kids doing these days.  Video games CAN help you hone certain skills, and can really be fun, but I think they give people a false sense of accomplishment.  You walk away feeling like you have worked really hard and achieved something but that feeling isn't accurate.  You HAVE worked really hard, but you really haven't achieved much of anything in the grand scheme of things.  Not healthy.

[Χά�ων]

I have seen kids unable to do anything other then video games. I have seen young adult who have never had a job and dropped out of college and just play video games. I keep a tight rein on screens here and it was only because of one event that I even bought DS a tablet. I still worry and am mindful.

[Perogi]

I worry about this with my 7 year old ds. I used to let him play Wii in the mornings for 30 min (I'm not a morning person so it gave me some space) but I became concerned that I was seeing a lot of inattention and temper tantrums. I reduced his Wii priviliges to Wed am and the weekend and it's better. But he still wants to play any chance he gets - at friends, etc.

[Joanne]

It is real, and there are treatment settings for it.

 

One of the problems is (similar to marijuana, as a matter of fact) is that there is a culture around gaming that protects and defends it. This tends to skew the perception of impact of addiction to the activity.

 

I am neither anti-game (o anti-marijuana) but for the people who are prone to addiction, those addictions profoundly impact their lives and that lives of others.

[kiana]

I dropped out of college the first time I went because I was gaming all night and skipping classes. It can absolutely be addictive. I would wake up and run to the computer to start killing mobiles again.

 

I got it under control a few years later and went back to college, and life is pretty good. I still play games but not as often and not for as long.

[Χά�ων]

It is real, and there are treatment settings for it.

 

One of the problems is (similar to marijuana, as a matter of fact) is that there is a culture around gaming that protects and defends it. This tends to skew the perception of impact of addiction to the activity.

 

I am neither anti-game (o anti-marijuana) but for the people who are prone to addiction, those addictions profoundly impact their lives and that lives of others.

Yes this. A big part of the problem with the people I know* use random articles to support their enabling of their children's habits. Not a week goes by where I do not see someone post some article on Facebook that support allowing their children unrestricted access to video games or screens. They really believe that their adult child living at home who dropped out of community college is benefiting from sitting around playing video games all day because of an article that has said that surgeons benefit from play video games. Specifically this article. I am not vocal about how disturbing I find the entire thing to be. I do not out right say "Your son is an addict and you are an enabler". All I do is take what I observe and use that as an example of what not to do when guiding my son to learning healthy boundaries for screen management.

 

 

*This is purely anecdotal and I am not implying it is the case for everyone, it is merely what I have seen and it had an impact on me and my parenting decisions around video gaming. YMMV

[maize]

I've seen gaming destroy marriages and ruin lives--lost jobs, failing school, etc. I think for many it begins as an escape, but one with the potential to grab ahold of the person and not let go.

[Murphy101]

The minute you mention addiction, of course it ruins lives. That's what any addiction does. It's no the problem of gaming. It's a problem of addiction.

[JustEm]

I'm thankful for my dh's old videogame addiction. It was one of the things that destroyed his previous marriage. Not the only thing and his addiction certainly got worse when the other issues in his marriage started sproutingup, they really weren't compatible. Luckily he kicked that habit while still trying to mend his other marriage so it hasn't been an issue at all for us. He still plays videogames but not excessively.

 

My rule for my kids is weekends only and even then it is usually only for an hour or 2. They will also never be allowed to use a handheld system out of the house.

[LostSurprise]

I think gaming offers a safe space for individuals to be challenged, succeed, and socialize on their terms. I think those are all wonderful things, but the problem comes when that person needs that support, vindication, and success and either can't or won't go out into the outside world to find it. 

 

I know several young men who don't find the mental challenge, stimulation, and success in the outside world that they can get easily in video games. Video games are a quick hit of those internal needs. They either haven't been taught how to access that in the real world, or they haven't developed the discipline (much easier and faster in the VG world), or they have physical or social problems which limit their acceptance in society. 

 

I think there are more factors than addiction. 

[busymama7]

So my question is, does limiting the amount of time allowed on games actually work? When these kids get out on their one will they just play excessively anyways even if limits were enforced and teaching happening at home? This is what I'm trying to figure out.

 

I pretty much just hate gaming and wish we could ban it all together. But I know the games themselves are no big deal, fun in moderation etc and I don't want to make it too much of a forbidden fruit. But I have some boys who appear to be prone to addiction to it and some who exhibit mood changes from playing.

 

Right now we have a limit of 1 hr a day but it's hard to enforce and I'm not sure they actually follow it all the time(so many phones, iPads,iPods etc not to mention TV games systems and the computer which are easier to manage). And I don't know of I'm setting them up to be unable to self regulate of I'm doing it for then. Ugh I wish we could just get rid of them but they are everywhere anyways.

[Χά�ων]

I think gaming offers a safe space for individuals to be challenged, succeed, and socialize on their terms. I think those are all wonderful things, but the problem comes when that person needs that support, vindication, and success and either can't or won't go out into the outside world to find it. 

 

I know several young men who don't find the mental challenge, stimulation, and success in the outside world that they can get easily in video games. Video games are a quick hit of those internal needs. They either haven't been taught how to access that in the real world, or they haven't developed the discipline (much easier and faster in the VG world), or they have physical or social problems which limit their acceptance in society. 

 

I think there are more factors than addiction. 

I can agree with this. But that leads to the question, if they were not tied to a computer game, could they have learned the necessary social skills on their own? If they did not have that to fall back on, would they have been more motivated to take advantage of offered therapies and training? Could having more experience interacting from a young age have given them the opportunities to learn from experience and to be better prepared to interact with others? If not have gaming to fall back on and overindulging parents, would they have had a better chance at finding their niche? Could they have used their creative energy in a more productive way and forged a non traditional path that would allow them to be self supporting adults? How does one know what the cause is rather than the effect? How much should schools and parents be expected to do to help their child learn these skills? What about if the parent is unable to teach these skills? 

 

The one thing I will say, is that for the out of the box people, continuing on the path of gaming will not build these skills. Enabling them to dive head first into video games will do nothing to help them gain these skills or even to determine if it is a lack of skills or an addiction that is the root of the problem.

[Lisa R.]

 

 

I know several young men who don't find the mental challenge, stimulation, and success in the outside world that they can get easily in video games. Video games are a quick hit of those internal needs. They either haven't been taught how to access that in the real world, or they haven't developed the discipline (much easier and faster in the VG world), or they have physical or social problems which limit their acceptance in society. 

 

I think there are more factors than addiction. 

 

There is a book called Boys Adrift that addresses this exact issue you mentioned above. 

 

http://www.amazon.com/Boys-Adrift-Epidemic-Unmotivated-Underachieving/dp/0465072100/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1404411736&sr=1-1&keywords=boys+adrift

 

The author, a family physician and psychologist, states that young boys and men have an innate need to explore, conquer, and achieve and those needs are being satisfied through excessive video game use. It is a fascinating book that caused me to look at video games differently. I don't believe moderate use is a problem. However, it is surprising how many boys/young men are floundering because lack of self control in the area of gaming.

 

I'm a big believers in keeping boys and girls busy. Finding hobbies, volunteer opportunities, taking classes, working around the house, outside jobs and so on. My goal is to get kids see the real world is also interesting and challenging. 

[Andani]

I read Playstation Nation, written by a woman whose son became addicted to video games. In just a simplistic overview: It was about the effects on her family, but the part that stayed with me was when she wrote about the physical effects of prolonged gaming on a person's brain, and when she described the way games hook people. Namely, that they give a person an exciting rush and the chance to be indestructable, popular, and/or heroic. Since reality isn't usually that dramatic, the addict chooses staying in that fantasy over engaging in real life.

 

Reading that book definitely confirmed the choices we've made about limiting screen time around here.

 

 

[Liz CA]

It is unfortunately highly addictive and some people have more "addictive personalities" than others. For some it is an escape into a virtual reality where they feel powerful, important and highly valued. When they move to a new level in a game, it is almost equal to a real life promotion in a job. It gives them a similar buyoant feeling as increased dopamine levels - a feel good substance when it follows certain pathways.

There is help but as always the addict needs to want to be helped.

[Liz CA]

So my question is, does limiting the amount of time allowed on games actually work? When these kids get out on their one will they just play excessively anyways even if limits were enforced and teaching happening at home? This is what I'm trying to figure out.

 

I pretty much just hate gaming and wish we could ban it all together. But I know the games themselves are no big deal, fun in moderation etc and I don't want to make it too much of a forbidden fruit. But I have some boys who appear to be prone to addiction to it and some who exhibit mood changes from playing.

 

Right now we have a limit of 1 hr a day but it's hard to enforce and I'm not sure they actually follow it all the time(so many phones, iPads,iPods etc not to mention TV games systems and the computer which are easier to manage). And I don't know of I'm setting them up to be unable to self regulate of I'm doing it for then. Ugh I wish we could just get rid of them but they are everywhere anyways.

 

As you said games are everywhere and we have to find ways to live with them. IMHO, it's about balance. Teaching that most things done to excess are harmful, making sure other interests are pursued, not cutting it off completely but limiting time - these are all strategies that can help a youngster find their way through our techno obsessed world.

 

[busymama7]

As you said games are everywhere and we have to find ways to live with them. IMHO, it's about balance. Teaching that most things done to excess are harmful, making sure other interests are pursued, not cutting it off completely but limiting time - these are all strategies that can help a youngster find their way through our techno obsessed world.

 

I really really hope so. That's what I'm banking on.

[Guest]

Posting this here in case it can be of any help to any of you.  http://www.netaddictionrecovery.com/  It's a rehab center located in the heart of game-company territory.