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What's your personal "What About Socialization?"


Belacqua
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"Homeschooling is great for the younger years, but you will send them to school at some point won't you?"

 

Yes. This one drives me crazy. I get the, "Aren't you going to send them to real school soon." or "When are you going to let them go to regular school?" As if I have them hog tied in the dining room, preventing them from going to school. :lol:

 

I got the "Are you ever going to have more children?" because dd was an only until 8 when ds came along. That one is really hard when you have infertility. I always felt like I had to answer questions asked of me, and then I felt as if it was tmi..."well....we're not preventing....it's kind of up to God at this point...." This usually led to more questions or even worst...suggestions.  :glare: SIGH

 

I get a little tense whenever anyone has inquired of ds's scar when he is in ear shot. I actually don't mind telling people. I just don't like him knowing that other people notice it. It is across his face from a dog attack. I also dislike it when people venture a guess at his age where he can hear them. He looks to be around 7 or 8, but he is almost 11.

 

It gets awkward anytime the dynamics surrounding ds come up. If someone asks about siblings or something like that. He has 3 bio sibs but then there is dd which is his sister too, so If he tries to answer their questions I end up looking like a kidnapper as he attempts to explain in his non-succinct way. I always have to step in with a very complicated explanation. I carry the guardianship papers everywhere (in my wallet) because I swear it is just a matter of time before the wrong nosy person gets it in their head that somethings not right :lol: . Ds told another child once, in one of his ODD moments, that we weren't his real family but that he HAD to stay with us anyway. Yeah, that led to some confusion and fun conversation.

 

So often, innocent questions are anything but... :tongue_smilie:

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So how is Kyrgyz written nowadays? Do they still use the Cyrillic alphabet or have they gone back to Arabic or adopted a Latin one?

 

Still Cyrillic. Uzbekistan officially changed to the Latin alphabet, but everyone seems to be tired of switching alphabets in Central Asia (rightfully so) and it doesn't seem to be making much headway.

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My daughter skipped a grade when she entered public school.  Actually, the long answer is she did 8th at home and entered the appropriate grade, but she is one year ahead based on age-mates.  The short answer is she skipped.  She gets comments saying "You must be really smart" all the time.  Most of the time she just shrugs, but if she's feeling frisky she'll say, "Yup, I am."

 

Oh yes, I had forgotten about those questions. Each of my kids is regularly asked/challenged with questions like, "So, what are you, a genius or something?"

 

And, in fact, if we still used that term in any kind of official way, the answer would be yes. They are both what is now called "profoundly gifted." But can you imagine the social suicide it would be for a kid to say or even agree with such a thing?

 

Most of the time, my daughter responds with some variation of, "I had a lot of great opportunities," which is true, but still somewhat self-deprecating. My son does the shrug-and-change-the-subject maneuver. However, each of them, when truly sick of hearing the question yet again, has been known to respond with, "Well, that term isn't really used clinically these days." (I encourage them to reserve that comment for only the most irritating of questioners.)

 

But, really, what could possibly be the socially appropriate answer to that question?

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Oh yes, I had forgotten about those questions. Each of my kids is regularly asked/challenged with questions like, "So, what are you, a genius or something?"

 

....

 

But, really, what could possibly be the socially appropriate answer to that question?

 

I might say "some things come easy to me" and then ask them about some talent of theirs.

 

I did have a group of girls bully me in 8th grade because (I guess) they were offended by my interest in studies.  (We became friends and then enemies in Linguistics class - I am a bit of a language nerd!)  I also was not socially adept enough to shift the focus to something that would make them happy.  Note to self:  have my kids practice this valuable skill early and often!

 

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When people find out that we have three boys and one girl, they will remark with the "you finally got your girl."  I was so proud to overhear my husband reply one day, "No we were blessed with her second.  We finally got our third son."  We had several friends at church that couldn't believe that we would have a third child after we had a boy and a girl.  Then we went and had a fourth. I tried to explain  to them that we really like our kids.

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I might say "some things come easy to me" and then ask them about some talent of theirs.

 

 

We tried variations on that theme when they were younger but found that saying school was "easy" made them sound stuck-up to other kids. It just bred additional resentment, which is why I began encouraging the shrug-and-change-the-subject approach.

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Mine would be, "Why don't you try to work things out without Court?"

I do constantly. That's where I start each and every time, then I get served if I don't do what the other party demands.

 

My other is "How many kids do you have?"

It seems a straight forward question but I don't always answer straight.

I have two children. One is no longer alive. That's not necessarily something I want to open with. But neither do I want to cut her out as she is still my child.

 

 

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Ugh I can't multi-quote on my new computer.

 

The ones I got growing up that I really thought would stop when I was an adult:

"Where's Toto?"

"How's Kansas?"

"Say Hi to the Wizard (scarecrow, lion, tinman)"

 

When people find out my oldest is 20, I do get "You must have been really young when you had her" - I was 24 so not particularly.

 

So, evidently I look young but when I'm out with all three kids, sometimes people assume dd is their mom (and that started when she was sixteen and her brother was 5) and I'm grandma.

 

"Do they all have the same father?" - well, no they don't but I still thinks its rude to ask unless you are actually close enough to our family to already know the answer.

 

Dh gets asked (or it's assumed) that he's the kids grandfather.  To be fair he was 48 when ds was born.

 

"Are they twins?" - Nope, they are two years apart.  "are you sure?" - Um, yeah I'm sure.

 

 

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A few that I get that I would kill to no longer have to hear:

 

"Same father?! " I get it. My kids look nothing alike. But if you saw Dh, you would know that the little one is him and the oldest is me. This is so rude though.

 

"So are you going to go all the way up to high school?? " Um, do YOU have the next 10 years of your life etched in stone?! I have plans to, yes, but that's a very long way away. Things change and I like to think I'd make the best choice for my kids. It frustrates me when the implication is that I couldn't "do" that level of teaching.

 

I'm also tired of the typical stuff about my being a patient saint or saying they could never do it...or my favorite situation: someone going off on a long-winded tirade about why homeschooling wouldn't work for them! It is so incredibly awkward for me and it happens all the time. I'm really not judging you! It's totally ok that you don't. Really.

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Ugh I can't multi-quote on my new computer.

 

The ones I got growing up that I really thought would stop when I was an adult:

"Where's Toto?"

"How's Kansas?"

"Say Hi to the Wizard (scarecrow, lion, tinman)"

 

Wow, I thought the times I had to listen to someone sing "8-6-7-5-3-0-9" were annoying, but you definitely win!

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I forgot about the high school question. I tell people we will skip high school and go straight to college. (Not completely accurate, but no one's business anyway). Then they ask if "you can do that."  I make a vague reference to it being done commonly in California, and I get a free pass on everything that follows from that point. Apparently, being from California means the rules of society do not apply to me :D

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