AmyontheFarm Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 Because I won't do this in real life and I need to rant. Dear Sister, Keep your opinions to yourself. My daughter has a mother it is me and you weren't asked to express any opinion. So, darling. Just shut up. My kid has made a mistake and what part of leave it alone do you not understand? Be the fun loving Aunty. Don't scold my adult child. Don't try to parent her, we haven't abdicated our roles as her parents. We have however decided to let her live her own consequences. You are just rubbing salt into the wound because you are a vindictive, gossiping little brat and I hate those qualities in you because I know you can be more than that. I love you, now shut up! Your Big sister. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 :grouphug: Preach it, Sister! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrysalis Academy Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 I could have done the same rant, except to my mother! :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsheresomewhere Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 Funny, I had to put an old man in his place a few weeks ago. He just came over to the kids and proceeded to tell them how to behave in public as parents don't educate their kids on that anymore. The kids were sitting down at the table and doing nothing that could even be thought of as bad behavior. I told him that they have parents who are right here and move along. He yelled at me for stopping him. I told him to move along. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jewellsmommy Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 :grouphug: I can commiserate some-what. We had some know-it-alls when dd was younger. When dd was a toddler, my brother used to try to tell me that she needed to go to bed earlier, or that we should not let her do this or that, etc. He was 17! He had no children. :glare: It reminds me of the Baby Blues Comic where Wanda says that she did her best parenting before she had kids too. :lol: I also had to endure a couple that we were close to that thought they were God's gift to parenting and that their kid was perfect. Dh and I finally started telling them to back off. It can create such tension to have someone in your life that does this. :grouphug: I hope it gets better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 I hope you can at least express a toned-down version. Poor kiddo! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jelbe5 Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 As the parent of a special needs kid I have had to firmly request strangers (and sometimes family) not address my son when he is having a problem as it just exacerbates the situation. As a former Susie Social Worker who thought I knew all the answers before children I learned after the birth of my son that it is okay to humbly and politely ask a struggling parent "Is there anything I can do to help you?" as I have had some real angels kindly ask me that in a sincere and non-judge mental way. If the response is no it is time to move on. Thanks for sharing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 I have had far too many conversations like that with my mother over the years. Though I did have to have my mother parent her own adult son on xmas eve before I killed him, I took one look at her and said "your the one that raised him, you better be the one that sets him straight" She doesn't move so well somedays lately but man did she scoot when she saw the look on my face. He did more than just try to reprimand/scold my son, he called him an a$$hole and an idiot. this was ds10. And then while ds10 was crying in my arms telling me this brother had the nerve to defend himself and said it again! Brother is no longer allowed contact with my kids or me. But instead of blowing up in his face (which makes me extremely ill due to the increase in cortisol and adrenaline) I let his mother deal with it, and then later reprimanded her for not doing more lol She is the only one that still forgets her place when it comes to my kids though generally, I very very rarely have to deal with anyone trying to directly parent my children anymore. When the olders were younger I did but that seems to have stopped. recently my mom asked to speak to ds15 on the phone and then proceeded to chew him out and scold him. He threw the phone on the couch and walked away, and she got to here it from me. I was sick for 2 days after that arguement but it was worth it, she won't be over stepping those bounds anytime soon. Hopefully your sister will learn to shut up and mind her business. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyontheFarm Posted December 31, 2013 Author Share Posted December 31, 2013 I hope you can at least express a toned-down version. Poor kiddo! I have tried in the past. If I tattoo'd it on her forehead, her kids forehead and on the back of her eyelids. She still wouldn't get it. Her oldest is 5. Mine is 20. I would think there would be vastly different parenting tactics with those vastly different ages, but no. She feels that you would treat both the same. I wanted to tell my dd that it was her own fault for going over there to visit, she should have known what was going to happen. It's not like it's the first time!!!!! Pressing forward, and walking away from the situation. Memo to myself: Don't feed crazy. I think I"m going to order Call display this week on the phone, I don't need this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 :coolgleamA: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 I have tried in the past. If I tattoo'd it on her forehead, her kids forehead and on the back of her eyelids. She still wouldn't get it. Her oldest is 5. Mine is 20. I would think there would be vastly different parenting tactics with those vastly different ages, but no. She feels that you would treat both the same. I wanted to tell my dd that it was her own fault for going over there to visit, she should have known what was going to happen. It's not like it's the first time!!!!! Pressing forward, and walking away from the situation. Memo to myself: Don't feed crazy. I think I"m going to order Call display this week on the phone, I don't need this. I would have said something to your sister at that very moment (or as soon as I heard about it if I wasn't there at the time) -- mainly because I'm not nearly as nice as you are. ;) BUT... your dd is 20 years old. She's not a child. She shouldn't tolerate her aunt's poor behavior. She has every right to tell her Dear Auntie to butt out and mind her own business -- politely at first, but more assertively if your sister doesn't back off. My ds is 13, and he already knows he doesn't have to put up with criticism or "advice" from less-than-well-meaning people, whether they are relatives or otherwise. He knows that my dh and I are his parents, and that others aren't in a position to tell him what to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 Hugs and best wishes. So sorry your DD had a bad experience and I'm glad you can vent here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 Honestly, if your dd is 20 this is an issue between her and your sister. My dd is 19, and I no longer intervene in her relationships with other adults. I'm sorry your sister is overbearing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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