lovinmomma Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 It just hit me. The grief of losing this baby. I'm still technically pregnant. Still bleeding off and on. We weren't even trying to get pregnant. We were on BC. I thought I was fine, but not tonight. I'm working the night shift at work. I happen to work helping to care for pregnant women, and I guess it was just too much tonight. It's rather embarassing to try to communicate with strangers through snot and tears! :crying: I came here because I knew that there would be many that have btdt and would let me vent for a minute. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 I'm sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumto2 Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 I am so sorry :grouphug:. I can only imagine how hard it must be for you to be at work right now. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
besroma Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 I am sorry for your loss. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 I'm sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovinmomma Posted July 21, 2013 Author Share Posted July 21, 2013 Thank you ladies. I have no idea why this is hitting me so hard right now. I didn't grieve like this last time I mc. Maybe it's the hormonal changes that have me so weepy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: I am so sorry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagle Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 I'm so sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwickimom Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 I lost one last year and I was also on bc and wasn't wanting another baby. I was fine- until my good friend lost hers 2 months later at 22 weeks :crying: Thats when I lost it. It hits at weird times I guess. I am so sorry you are going through this :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovinmomma Posted July 22, 2013 Author Share Posted July 22, 2013 Thank you for the support. Are there any grief techniques that you all have learned to cope with this loss? Anything that helps? I lost one last year and I was also on bc and wasn't wanting another baby. I was fine- until my good friend lost hers 2 months later at 22 weeks :crying: Thats when I lost it. It hits at weird times I guess. I am so sorry you are going through this :grouphug: Thank you. It really snuck up and surprised me last night. I think the issue is having to work with pregnant women all day. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwik Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 I don't think the child not being intentional makes the grief less. You wouldn't expect someone to grieve less just because conceiving was easy for them. We don't tell women to just go home and try again any more for good reasons. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lavender's green Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 I'm so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 Thank you for the support. Are there any grief techniques that you all have learned to cope with this loss? Anything that helps? Thank you. It really snuck up and surprised me last night. I think the issue is having to work with pregnant women all day. :( I think giving the baby a name and some sort of memorial helps. It helped me, anyway. My baby was buried in a shared plot for pregnancy losses before 20 weeks and for me, it helped knowing where his grave was. Giving him a name helped, too. I'm very sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovinmomma Posted July 22, 2013 Author Share Posted July 22, 2013 I don't think the child not being intentional makes the grief less. You wouldn't expect someone to grieve less just because conceiving was easy for them. We don't tell women to just go home and try again any more for good reasons. You're absolutely right. My words were probably insensitive. I hope that I didn't offend you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwickimom Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 Lots of prayer. Thats all that worked for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 I'm so sorry for your loss. I had four miscarriages in a row (the last was twins) between my second and third children, but I honestly didn't have much, if any, grief with them. I think each person is an individual, and there is no "correct" way to grieve...or not grieve. Be gentle with yourself and don't worry too much about how you're feeling. Let yourself process this and get through it in whatever way suits you best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovinmomma Posted July 22, 2013 Author Share Posted July 22, 2013 I'm so sorry for your loss. I had four miscarriages in a row (the last was twins) between my second and third children, but I honestly didn't have much, if any, grief with them. I think each person is an individual, and there is no "correct" way to grieve...or not grieve. Be gentle with yourself and don't worry too much about how you're feeling. Let yourself process this and get through it in whatever way suits you best. I didn't have any grief (at least much) with my first mc. This one is so much different. I think part of it is where I work, part is my outrageous hormones, and part is because now it feels more like a problem with my body than a "fluke" like the first mc did. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkle Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 :grouphug: I'm sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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