Homeschooled K-8 and then public school for high school? Gulp.

[Janie Grace]

It looks like dd13 is going to be attending public high school starting in the fall. Our reasons are basically that she wants to (and we trust/get her reasons -- learning from a variety of teachers, having more friends, academic challenge) and also a sense that I am not able to give her the academic preparation that she needs. She's a bright girl, loves to think/discuss/debate/stretch her mind... and I'm a spread-thin mama teaching three more kids coming up behind her, one with learning difficulties. We feel peaceful that this is best but... yikes. What a huge leap. Her world is small right now... her neighborhood friends, her brothers, our church, our homeschool co-op, her knitting, her projects, her books, her garden, her bike. I absolutely adore her. She's innocent (in a good way) and sincere and confident. She's funny and smart and kind. I don't even really know what I'm asking... I guess I just want to hear from people who have taken this leap. I think my biggest fear is losing the intimacy of our relationship. I'm not grieving... I feel like this really is best. I don't want to have closed any doors for her because of my limitations as a teacher, and I think that would be the case if I kept her home. But... wow. This is going to be so different.

 

Please tell me about your journey, if you have taken this leap.

[Unicorn.]

:grouphug: Two of mine have gone on to ps. They are both thriving. They both needed to go for all the reasons you listed, above. Dd1 joins them next year, and while I am a little bit worried about her adjusting (didn't worry about the other 2 at all), I think it will be good for her. If it doesn't, she can always come home, and I will find a way to make it work.

[MIch elle]

Eldest son homeschooled K-8 then attended private high school. He's done well and is now a college freshman. Next son homeschooled K-7, then attended public gr. 8 liked it and stayed; he's now in grade 10 and doing well. We have no regrets!

[creekland]

Youngest had no problem socially or academically when he chose public school for high school. I will caution that he'd have done "better" academically at home as our local high school has a really low bar. That is likely to hurt us soon as he applies to colleges. He'll get in to the colleges he likes since he's not aiming toward Top 100, but without the higher stats his brothers had I'm really concerned about having the money for him to go to places he'd like to attend. High stats kids often have oodles of lower cost options (if they choose merit aid schools). Low stat kids can get in, but the $$ offered is significantly less. It makes sense when you think about it. People who offer scholarships are essentially sponsoring students. They want to sponsor the top kids.

 

But socially? He's doing just fine. Academically he's near the top - right in with the typical top kids from this school. (This is low to mid 80% nationally whereas my other two - equally capable - guys were in the mid to upper 90% nationally homeschooling.)

[Pawz4me]

My oldest was homeschooled from 5th through 8th and then chose to return to PS for high school. He's done wonderfully. He was fairly bored the first year, but starting in 10th he was able to take almost all honors or AP classes and has found the work more challenging. He's thriving socially, too. I don't feel like we've lost any closeness, even as he's gone through the notoriously difficult teen years. He's usually eager to tell us about his day and the weird, funny and absurd things that happen at school. Now I know he doesn't tell us everything, but he shares enough that we feel very connected to his life, and as far as we can tell he hangs with the "good" kids. And despite the horror stories there are good, kind kids in public schools.

 

Youngest has been homeschooled from 2nd through 8th. He's applied to an early college program through our local community college. If accepted, he'll have the opportunity to complete high school and get a two-year degree in four years. We're excited for him and hope he gets accepted. Based on our experience with his older brother, we don't worry about any loss of connectedness with him.

[NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too]

My oldest was homeschooled from 5th through 8th and then chose to return to PS for high school. He's done wonderfully. He was fairly bored the first year, but starting in 10th he was able to take almost all honors or AP classes and has found the work more challenging. He's thriving socially, too. I don't feel like we've lost any closeness, even as he's gone through the notoriously difficult teen years. He's usually eager to tell us about his day and the weird, funny and absurd things that happen at school. Now I know he doesn't tell us everything, but he shares enough that we feel very connected to his life, and as far as we can tell he hangs with the "good" kids. And despite the horror stories there are good, kind kids in public schools.

 

Youngest has been homeschooled from 2nd through 8th. He's applied to an early college program through our local community college. If accepted, he'll have the opportunity to complete high school and get a two-year degree in four years. We're excited for him and hope he gets accepted. Based on our experience with his older brother, we don't worry about any loss of connectedness with him.

 

Very similar to our experience. My kids have thrived and I don't regret letting them go. I picked them up from school and the ride home is often the highlight of my day because of the stories they share.

 

Best of luck,

K

[Janie Grace]

Thanks, you guys. Our local high school is one of the ten best in our state. The bar is set higher than I could set it -- so that's a good thing. I know she'll be challenged there.

 

Her main concern is going without knowing anyone (which I totally get). I want to try to connect with a couple families who have a rising freshman this summer, in hopes of finding *someone* she could at least sit with at lunch. But I realize that she's just going to have a few awkward days/weeks til she finds her place. She wants to run fall track so I am hoping they start practicing together in August... that seems like a good way to meet some kids ahead of time.

 

She's also a bit worried about clothes. She is very aware of style but she knows we have a limited budget and standards about clothing (like we don't let her wear the super short shorts most girls her age wear -- we like them to hit mid-thigh at least). While the shorts thing seems small to me, I totally get why she's concerned that her short length will mark her. I was 13 once. ;)

 

It's so nice to hear these stories of kids doing well and you moms not having regrets. It's helping.

[speedmom4]

She's a bright girl, loves to think/discuss/debate/stretch her mind...

 

This part of your message concerns me. I hope she will find that at a public high school but from what we have seen it is far from that ideal. I'm truly not trying to dissuade you. I'm sure you've already thought about that. Would there be a way for her to "try" public school for a day before you make the decision. She sounds like such a lovely girl. FWIW none of my children have been to school so take my advice with that in mind.

 

God Bless,

 

Elise in NC

[Pawz4me]

She wants to run fall track so I am hoping they start practicing together in August... that seems like a good way to meet some kids ahead of time.

 

 

DS's school doesn't have fall track, but they do cross country in the fall. Of course rules on when they can start practicing vary by district, but here they start with voluntary practices around the last week of June. Mandatory practices usually start around the last week in July. And yes, that will be a great way for her to meet some kids before school starts.

[NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too]

She's a bright girl, loves to think/discuss/debate/stretch her mind...

 

This part of your message concerns me. I hope she will find that at a public high school but from what we have seen it is far from that ideal. I'm truly not trying to dissuade you. I'm sure you've already thought about that. Would there be a way for her to "try" public school for a day before you make the decision. She sounds like such a lovely girl. FWIW none of my children have been to school so take my advice with that in mind.

 

God Bless,

 

Elise in NC

 

Well, I will just share my experience. I have one child that is "Alex P. Keaton" and one child that is well, the opposite of Alex P. Keaton (hard to believe, I know). Both love to discuss their thoughts and ideas and viewpoints in school. It seems as lots of ps kids come from differing point of views and unlike many adults, they seem more accepting of others having a differing viewpoint.

 

It's really quite refreshing.

[amsunshine]

Thanks, you guys. Our local high school is one of the ten best in our state. The bar is set higher than I could set it -- so that's a good thing. I know she'll be challenged there.

 

Her main concern is going without knowing anyone (which I totally get). I want to try to connect with a couple families who have a rising freshman this summer, in hopes of finding *someone* she could at least sit with at lunch. But I realize that she's just going to have a few awkward days/weeks til she finds her place. She wants to run fall track so I am hoping they start practicing together in August... that seems like a good way to meet some kids ahead of time.

 

She's also a bit worried about clothes. She is very aware of style but she knows we have a limited budget and standards about clothing (like we don't let her wear the super short shorts most girls her age wear -- we like them to hit mid-thigh at least). While the shorts thing seems small to me, I totally get why she's concerned that her short length will mark her. I was 13 once. ;)

 

It's so nice to hear these stories of kids doing well and you moms not having regrets. It's helping.

You might want to check out the school dress code. I'd be surprised if a high school didn't have a policy against "short shorts" -- most of the public schools around here do. They also prohibit spaghetti strap tops for girls and short short skirts.

[Janie Grace]

She's a bright girl, loves to think/discuss/debate/stretch her mind...

 

This part of your message concerns me. I hope she will find that at a public high school but from what we have seen it is far from that ideal. I'm truly not trying to dissuade you. I'm sure you've already thought about that. Would there be a way for her to "try" public school for a day before you make the decision. She sounds like such a lovely girl. FWIW none of my children have been to school so take my advice with that in mind.

 

God Bless,

 

Elise in NC

 

Thanks, Elise. We do plan to have her shadow a student sometime soon. We live in a university town where education/ideas are highly valued. My impressions are that there are a lot of bright, interested kids in ps. But I could be totally wrong! Guess we'll see...

[Janie Grace]

You might want to check out the school dress code. I'd be surprised if a high school didn't have a policy against "short shorts" -- most of the public schools around here do. They also prohibit spaghetti strap tops for girls and short short skirts.

 

Good point. Maybe it won't be as much of an issue as she's imagining.

[Janie Grace]

 

DS's school doesn't have fall track, but they do cross country in the fall. Of course rules on when they can start practicing vary by district, but here they start with voluntary practices around the last week of June. Mandatory practices usually start around the last week in July. And yes, that will be a great way for her to meet some kids before school starts.

 

Thanks for this! I need to look into this ASAP and not wait. I know she'll want to jump into practices as soon as she can.

[Mom in High Heels]

Oh, I'm so happy to read this thread. Indy is 3 years away from high school, but we know he'll go to private or ps starting in the 9th grade (hopefully private) and it worries me all the time! Hearing that others do well makes me feel better.

[Night Elf]

My dd15 started 9th grade this year at a public high school. I don't think her personality has changed but she has made a couple of close friends that have taken my place as confidante. It's hard for me because she and I were so close, but I can see that what she is doing is normal. Her work load is way higher than homeschooling so she lost the time to do some of the things she liked to do. For example, she used to read for pleasure a lot. Now it takes her a month or more to get through one book. She has homework every night that takes at least a couple of hours and she always has some homework on the weekends too. She even had homework over Spring break. She hates that part about school. I'm homeschooling one high schooler so to be honest, I'm happy that she wanted to go to school. High school is a huge responsibility and I worry every day if my son is getting what he needs to be prepared for college. I'm not worried about my daughter at all.

[Night Elf]

Her main concern is going without knowing anyone (which I totally get). I want to try to connect with a couple families who have a rising freshman this summer, in hopes of finding *someone* she could at least sit with at lunch. But I realize that she's just going to have a few awkward days/weeks til she finds her place.

 

This worried my dd too. On the first day, she talked to the girl in front of her in the lunch line and asked if she could sit with her. I was stunned my dd actually did that. By the end of the week, she was sitting with girls from her class that releases into lunch. She became close friends with two of them.

 

She's also a bit worried about clothes.

 

My dd has had no problem wearing what she is used to wearing. There are so many kids wearing so many different styles that it's hard to stand out really. She wears tshirts, jeans and Converse every day. She tells me about some crazy things like the girls who wear skirts and high heels, the boy who wears bow ties, or the boy who wears a blazer with his tshirt every day. :)

[mytwomonkeys]

my daughter will be going to middle school next year, so i'm also happy to see this thread. i am still going to homeschool my son, but my little girl is excited (and quite nervous) to try PS. i told her she won't know if she likes it unless she tries, so in the fall she will be attending. it will be new territory for all of us :)

[KungFuPanda]

My daughter went to public high school in the middle of her 9th grade year. She transitioned beautifully and is thriving. She enjoys the total classroom experience, and our homeschooling had become me taxiing her to expensive community college classes, co-ops, and so-forth. For us, it made sense to have her classes under one roof. We do have good public schools here, so she is still challenged academically. Socially, she adores the massive theatre department at her school and that's her main extracurricular focus. As far as the family is concerned, her school is walking distance, so it doesn't interfere at all with my son's homeschooling day. Our relationship DID change a bit, but I feel that had more to do with her growing and changing than it did with her schooling. Also, it didn't change in a negative way, it's just different. Since we no longer share an identical day, our conversations are a bit more interesting for both of us because we have so much to tell each other at the end of the day.

 

Our daughter actually lobbied to go to high school. Like yours, she had well though out reasons. We raised her to take charge of her own education and THIS was how she chose to do it. She's a fairly easy going kid, so when she does assert herself it's because she really believes it's important. She's formed relationships with several teachers and really enjoys getting feedback from people other than Mom. Funnily enough, she's managed to find, and form friendships with fellow former-homeschoolers. They bond over things like having similar handwriting because they ALL did HWT :-)

 

Overall, this high school thing has been an excellent experience for my family. My work and stress load is significantly lightened by not having a highschooler in my homeschool. My DD is looking forward to her Junior year next year. My middle school son is enjoying being an only child for part of the day and having the schedule revolve around him for a change. The hardest part was making the initial decision to put her in school (she homeschooled K-9 1/2) and letting go.

[KatieJ]

All 4 of mine were homeschooled and PSschooled at some pointl, but all ended up graduating with a public school diploma.. #3 was homeschooled thru 10th grade and #4 thru 8th grade. They had established friends in our neighborhood but ultimately found their own friends. Both ended up in choir and that formed a set of friends for them as well.

BTW..if your child ends up in choir or band they end up kind of tracking thru school with that set of kids. Reason being if band or choir meets first hour of the day or second or whatever, the kids who are not in band or choir have lets say Math first or second hour. Therefore the choir and band kids have math later in the day. You realize I making up the scenario but the fact is they will track thru school more often with their choir and band mates than if they weren't in that activity. Someone pointed that out to me early on in our education journey. Band was the choice for my older two and choir for my younger two. Excellent choices for both.

Mine all did well, graduated with honors or highest honors and in general PS was a good thing for them.

[Janie Grace]

My dd15 started 9th grade this year at a public high school. I don't think her personality has changed but she has made a couple of close friends that have taken my place as confidante. It's hard for me because she and I were so close, but I can see that what she is doing is normal. Her work load is way higher than homeschooling so she lost the time to do some of the things she liked to do. For example, she used to read for pleasure a lot. Now it takes her a month or more to get through one book. She has homework every night that takes at least a couple of hours and she always has some homework on the weekends too. She even had homework over Spring break. She hates that part about school. I'm homeschooling one high schooler so to be honest, I'm happy that she wanted to go to school. High school is a huge responsibility and I worry every day if my son is getting what he needs to be prepared for college. I'm not worried about my daughter at all.

 

These are exactly the things I worry about/expect. The change in our relationship terrifies me. I can already feel her pulling away a bit... being more private, confiding more in friends. In a way, I'm glad I am seeing it already, so I don't blame it all on school. But I do have this voice in my head saying that to be close to your kids, you have to homeschool. :( I sure hope it's not true.

 

I think she'll miss her free time for sure. She is such a creative person... she's knitting a stuffed bear right now (from a pattern she found online), putting in a veggie garden all by herself, listens to books on CD, goes on long bike rides and runs with the dog in the woods... I feel badly that her life is going to become so much more burdened by being gone and doing homework.

 

But yeah... the relief of her high school education and college prep being on others is unspeakable. She's bright and competitive and adventurous. I think if I forced her to stay home, she'd resent me for a long time.

 

At the same time... it's so hard to let go. :(

[Janie Grace]

My daughter went to public high school in the middle of her 9th grade year. She transitioned beautifully and is thriving. She enjoys the total classroom experience, and our homeschooling had become me taxiing her to expensive community college classes, co-ops, and so-forth. For us, it made sense to have her classes under one roof. We do have good public schools here, so she is still challenged academically. Socially, she adores the massive theatre department at her school and that's her main extracurricular focus. As far as the family is concerned, her school is walking distance, so it doesn't interfere at all with my son's homeschooling day. Our relationship DID change a bit, but I feel that had more to do with her growing and changing than it did with her schooling. Also, it didn't change in a negative way, it's just different. Since we no longer share an identical day, our conversations are a bit more interesting for both of us because we have so much to tell each other at the end of the day.

 

Our daughter actually lobbied to go to high school. Like yours, she had well though out reasons. We raised her to take charge of her own education and THIS was how she chose to do it. She's a fairly easy going kid, so when she does assert herself it's because she really believes it's important. She's formed relationships with several teachers and really enjoys getting feedback from people other than Mom. Funnily enough, she's managed to find, and form friendships with fellow former-homeschoolers. They bond over things like having similar handwriting because they ALL did HWT :-)

 

Overall, this high school thing has been an excellent experience for my family. My work and stress load is significantly lightened by not having a highschooler in my homeschool. My DD is looking forward to her Junior year next year. My middle school son is enjoying being an only child for part of the day and having the schedule revolve around him for a change. The hardest part was making the initial decision to put her in school (she homeschooled K-9 1/2) and letting go.

 

Okay, I may need to reread this every day until September. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Yes, the letting go is very hard.

 

The HWT thing cracked me up! Yup, my kids are HWT alumni too.

[Matryoshka]

My older two were hs'd K-8 and went to high school this year (both 9th graders). The high school here is very good, and only about a mile from my house. As someone else said, with all the outsourcing and running around we were likely to do if they stayed home, it just made sense to have everything under one roof. They are in virtually all honors classes - even in a good school, that really makes a difference in the quality of classroom experience. My dds were initially very skeptical that they should do so many "hard" classes, but now that they've been there a year, they can see the difference in the attitude of the kids and want to take as many honors as they can next year. The honors kids are all gung-ho (even sometimes a bit overly-so to the point of competitiveness), and the "college-prep" courses tend to have at least a significant portion of kids (not all) who don't care much. It would be different if they couldn't handle the material, but they can, and have risen to the challenge and are doing very well.

 

They've made some really nice friends. One dd is in orchestra, the other did robotics club, and they're both doing acapella choir. No sports, but none of my kids are particularly athletic...

 

I'll agree the ride home in the car is great because they really talk a lot about their day! I almost wish the ride were longer. :lol:

 

They sometimes get nostalgic about homeschooling, but I think overall it's been really good.

 

ETA: We've also made a huge effort to keep up with their homeschooling friends. I think that has helped the transition.

[Tammyla]

I don't have personal experience, but one of my dearest friends had to enroll her two (dd/senior and ds freshman) a few years ago due to a divorce. They both had a period of adjustment, but things did settle in after the first semester.

 

I hope the adjustment period is short and smooth for the two of you.