Teens don't look forward to getting a driver's license anymore...and parents don't seem to want them to.

[LizzyBee]

Yep, and you know something we discovered? Once your kid has a permit or license, the insurance companies require you to pay to put them on your policy. If said kid is living in your home and is a legal driver, the presumption is that he or she may drive your car. So, simply having an additional driver in the house costs money, even if that person isn't driving. (The exception appears to be if your teen is away at school more than 100 or so miles from your house. At that point, the insurance companies will reduce or eliminate the additional charges temporarily.)

 

Wow, I wish they would do that in NC. We have a full size pick up and a van. I'd love to get a 3rd car, something small to drive to work. But if we do, our insurance rates will go through the roof because college girl will be assigned as the full time driver of one of those cars even though she's away at college. Just getting her license without a 3rd car made our rates more than double - we were paying less than $1200/year and the first year of having dd on the policy cost over $1500 additional. Unfortunately, NC also doesn't give any discounts for girls, good grades, or age. The surcharge is the same for all new drivers.

 

OTOH, in NC a kid with a permit is not added to the insurance policy, so I guess it all balances out. They can drive with supervision from 15-18 on a permit without any insurance cost.

[AlmiraGulch]

DD16 does not have a permit and has not really been interested in getting it. In GA you have to have your permit for a year before you can get a license unless you're 18. Since she's an Aspie and is a bit behind in maturity, I have not pushed it at all.

 

Recently I've been more assertive about getting her to study for the test to get her permit. I'll pay for a professional driving school (I have to anyway since her HS doesn't offer Driver's Ed.) but she needs to start learning because, in my estimation, it's my duty as a mother to make sure she has learned this basic life skill before she leaves my house.

[Julie Smith]

Here in Ontario if you take a driver's Ed class. The quickest you can get your license is 18 months. So the earliest you can have a G license is 17 1/2. That involves 1 written test and 2 driver tests. Till you get your real license you have many restrictions. I wonder if the insurance rates are cheaper here.

 

ETA: Even if you wait till you are an adult it still takes a min. of 18 months for your full license.

[Amy in NH]

In NH you can start driving with a parent at 15&1/2, take driver's ed for $500+, and get your license at 16. Insurance for our eldest son with our old carrier was ~$1000/yr, and it just wasn't going to happen. We changed insurance carriers, and now insuring him would be about ~$500/yr. But he was 17+ by then, and he can get his license without the $500 driver's ed course when he is 18, so we waited. In the meantime, he has read a driver's ed textbook and I have taught him to drive. He still has a few things to learn, like parallel parking, but he'll know how to drive when he leaves for college in the fall, and I'm hoping he'll have a license by then too. He's planning to go to college in a city with a subway system, with bus transportation between there and home, so he won't get a lot of practice there.

 

He really showed no interest in driving, and was not disappointed not to get his license at 16. I mentioned to him that most kids of our generation were excited about getting a license asap, but he pointed out that he was also late learning how to ride a bike. Ha! So true. Just not his thing.

 

Second son is eager to get his license because we live 2 hours straight up the highway from his friends. His plan is to get a job, save for driver's ed, get his license, and then travel 2 hours south every other week so he can form a musical band with some of his friends. Sounds like a plan!

 

My nephew, who lives in NM, just turned 17. He is mature enough to have made the decision that he is not responsible enough to have his license. HE made that decision. No-one is babying him.

[Guest]

 

I agree you can't take driving away from teens. I just think that there are a whole lot of parents that don't realize that 50 hours or whatever the number is of practice isn't really going to keep them safe. I also don't think parents realize that kids will tell you up and down that they won't speed, text, etc... and it is all just a bunch of words. Like I said - my dd will get her permit. Then she will drive a whole lot more than 50 hours with supervision. She will see the dangers of operating a vehicle. She will realize that is nothing to take lightly because it one of the most dangerous things she will ever do. As far as the girl who killed him - she was just 18. Statistically, it is well known that teen and young 20's drivers are the most dangerous. There is no disputing it. It is because many are immature and lack the common sense they need to make better decisions. All - of course not, but many.

 

I understand this and I completely relate to how your own tragic experience drives it home. I feel similarly about birth because my baby died in labor. It bothers me when women seem too certain that could never happen to them. When the unthinkable has happened in your own life, you know too well that none of us are immune. :grouphug:

[MIch elle]

My great-aunt and uncle never learned to drive. They lived in Manhattan and walked or took public transportation everywhere. They were millionaires who retired early and traveled the world.

[Mandylubug]

I think you should start learning to drive as early as legally possible. Mind you, in the south, rural areas, roads aren't as congested, more roads to travel and learn on without ever passing a soul. I started learning to drive a stick shift at 14. Had my learners license at 15 and drove daily with my parents. I had to work up to driving in more congested scenarios. By age of sixteen I was ready. Did I have a fender bender? Yes, but I learned from the mistake. I think most beginner drivers do have minor accidents and mistakes and I don't think that is necessarily a bad thing. My Dad was determined that I was comfortable mechanically with his car before I had to pay attention to the road rules and had to focus on both together. I typically drove around on boat dock parking lots, fields, church parking lots, etc. Just to learn how to actually drive the car. When I road with my parents that year each time in the car was a discussion of the road rules, what to watch for, etc. By 15 I had studied road rules and was comfortable with the car enough that I didn't have to focus soley on that and could focus on road rules. Its nervewracking to learn how to operate a vehicle. Its also nervewracking to jump onto the road and remember all of the road rules. Learning them independently of each other worked great for me. We will definitely be working with our children in the same manner.

 

eta: cell phone wise. I don't want my children to have one until they have a part time job and can pay for it themselves. I plan on encouraging them to turn it off while in the vehicle. I am sure they won't do that forever but hopefully I can threaten them enough at first to get into the habit of that.

[MistyMountain]

I'm not sure how I will feel when the time comes. When I was a teen I didn't like being in one of the only states where you had to be 17 to get a licence and I had to wait a little longer because drivers ed was no longer offered in school. I was excited to finally get my licence. In that state the rules are even stricter now and when you first get your license their are rules about when you can be driving and with whom you can be driving. If I was a teen I wouldn't like that but as a parent I do. I would be a little worried to let my freshly turned 16 year old in a car especially in winter conditions. I wouldn't wait until they were fully matured but another year of maturity isn't a bad thing with the responsibility of driving a motor vehicle. I will probably let them get it on time if they show the maturity. I will encourage them to get jobs at that age and I don't plan on sheltering them.

 

I overheard a conversation at the grocery store between two teens working there. They were talking about how the failed the test a few times and were devising was to cheat on the test. Oh my word that is a scary thought that these kids are so uneducated they can't take read material about driving and and then take basic test and pass. That will not be my kids. It isn't hard to learn the material to pass a drivers test. If they couldn't take a basic test like that I would be scared.

[Tohru]

I voted as soon as they legally can, however only so they are able to practice under supervision rather than just letting them loose when they are older/out of the house.

[cathmom]

 

 

Yep, and you know something we discovered? Once your kid has a permit or license, the insurance companies require you to pay to put them on your policy. If said kid is living in your home and is a legal driver, the presumption is that he or she may drive your car. So, simply having an additional driver in the house costs money, even if that person isn't driving. (The exception appears to be if your teen is away at school more than 100 or so miles from your house. At that point, the insurance companies will reduce or eliminate the additional charges temporarily.)

 

 

Our company did not charge more for a permit, but get ready for insurance to triple when he or she gets the license!

 

 

Kari, I was going to reply to you earlier, but no matter what I typed, it sounded crass. Now it seems crass if I fail to respond again, so I'm going to try.

 

I know the story of your son and it is heartbreaking. The wrong of losing your son will always hurt and can never be fully rectified. I get that completely.

 

However, we cannot erase the possibility of someone driving foolishly or just plain poorly when they are young and/or inexperienced. We cannot erase the fact that younger/less experienced drivers will have more accidents and more serious accidents than older, experienced drivers will. The girl whose reckless driving killed your son was breaking the law and driving foolishly. This is not the exclusive domain of the young. Would I urge my kid to get a license if I thought they were foolish and not up to the task? No. But I also wouldn't let them go on being chauffeured around for years to come just because it's intimidating to be in control of a vehicle and requires some nerve to drive well. IOW, I don't cater to their weakness. If they are acting "soft," I expect them to rise to the challenge and learn.

 

I'm glad my state has a lot of hoops to jump for licensing. I was planning to make a rule about not driving with other teens/kids in the car for at least a year after licensing, but the state conveniently made a law like that anyway. I do think a lot of in-car stupidity with young drivers is amped up by other young folks in the car, so I see a lot of sense in that law. My BIL was killed under circumstances like that; he was 20.

 

I agree with you that even the most responsible, mature person can have a stupid driving moment. I have never been in an accident beyond a fender-kiss type while driving; I believe myself to be a very good driver. But I've had my stupid moments. I've driven too fast for conditions, driven while unbearably tired, driven with one drink more than I should have had, and once, drove with my lights off because the car was a rental and I thought they were on! :tongue_smilie: Any of those foolish decisions could have caused a tragedy. Thankfully, they didn't. My point is - I wish we could eliminate the possibility of what happened to your son ever happening to anyone, but we can't. If that girl was 19 or 20, she still could have made those fatal decisions in driving. If she was 16, she could have also.

 

 

But, statistically, younger drivers have more accidents. I rarely see headlines that say, "housewife flips car and kills two friends." But I see stories of fatalities with younger drivers ALL THE TIME. Rental companies know this, so they don't rent to young drivers.

My great-aunt and uncle never learned to drive. They lived in Manhattan and walked or took public transportation everywhere. They were millionaires who retired early and traveled the world.

 

 

Perhaps they could retire early and travel because their money wasn't going to the cars LOL!

 

My oldest, who is 23, did not get a permit till he was 18 because of a combination of factors: family circumstances, finances, his general clumsiness, etc. He has a fall birthday and so we planned for him to get it before leaving for college, until we discovered that our insurance would more than triple with no discount for him not being at home. We did not and do not have money to throw away so that he could NOT drive! Eventually, when he could get his own insurance and pay for it, he took the test.

 

My next child could have gotten a permit already but we haven't. We live in the country and all of our driving is one of the most dangerous kinds, rural 2 lane roads going 60. If I lived in the suburbs and it was just driving around town I might feel differently. Plus it's been really complicated figuring out when she could do drivers ed. It's just not a priority right now.

[Joshin]

My oldest will likely get his license at 16. My youngest, who knows? But I'm still guessing 16. I got my license at 15 with no issues. DH's mom didn't let him get his license at all, he finally had to at 19 because of a job. He's still terrified to drive and it's really the only stressful thing about our marriage. I can't ask him to run an errand after dark or during times of heavy traffic, because he just won't do it. He honestly believes that if he had been allowed to drive younger, he wouldn't have this fear. (It doesn't help that MIL told him repeatedly each time he asked for a license that he would likely be in an accident and would die. After awhile, you develop issues from that!)

 

DS12 wants his license and is already saving for a car. DS7 could care less right now. I know that a lot of my friend's teens don't have licenses and it has made it almost impossible for them to get a job. I know when I worked in restaurant management back in the day we rarely hired nondriving teens because they used "lack of a ride" as a constant excuse to miss work.

 

I'm not saying all teens are ready to drive at 16, but at least one of mine will likely be and I think it's an important step in becoming a responsible adult, at least in towns that aren't served by excellent public transportation. I would rather they learn to drive when still living at home with my oversight then after they have headed off to college.

[cathmom]

Forgot to say...I didn't get mine the second I could either. I had been 17 for several months.

[LucyStoner]

The words used to describe teens not driving have ranged from coddled to lazy to insane. Apparently kids "should" learn to drive ASAP and that parents citing the cost are essentially neglecting a cost of parenthood. Delaying driving is extending adolescence? Um, not really.

 

Seriously? Why does it matter what other families and other kids choose to do? Why the need to judge?

[MIch elle]

 

 

Perhaps they could retire early and travel because their money wasn't going to the cars LOL!

 

 

 

 

Yes, and no children.

[duckens]

Disclaimer #1: I haven't read all of the other posts.

 

Disclaimer #2: Older dd is not an impulsive child. She is thoughtful and careful in all she does. Unknown about toddler dd.

 

I would like my children to receive their permits (and subsequent licenses) asap because I would like them to have as much chance to practice driving while under our roof. This includes not just support for act of driving, but support in navigating our town and unfamiliar roads out of town. They will also have extra years of having to follow Mom and Dad's rules about driving:

 

--no cell phones while driving

--no smoking in car

--where will you be?

--drive safely

--who can ride in our car

 

We hope that if our children get their permits at 14, they will have 4+ years of these rules to develop into habits. IMO, that is much better than a 17yo getting their license and moving out a year later to navigate all of these car choices on their own.

 

At this point, we plan to share cars within the household. I would rather have two working cars (what we have now) compared to three undependable cars (what I grew up with).

 

We are also lucky to live in a town with fairly good public transportation and bike routes.

[Word Nerd]

This may be a bit off topic, but I thought this was interesting: Millennials Say They'd Give Up Their Cars Before Their Computers or Cell Phones.

[Luanne]

I think things are much different than they were in the 1980s. Cars, gas, and insurance are much more expensive. There is a lot more traffic on the road (at least here there is).

 

If the OP wants her children to all drive at 16, that is fine, but I don't think she has a right to judge other people if they feel it is better to do something other than what she does. My daughter is not coddled just because she doesn't have a license. She works full time and I can't find a job. I hope she isn't as judgmental about other things that other families choose to do different from her.

[LucyStoner]

One thing to consider for "Millennials" is that they are more likely than previous generations to have grown up fairly concerned and worried about pollution and climate change plus now gas is more expensive. This makes those living where it is feasible to go without a car or without two cars per couple more likely to do so. I am on the tail end of generation X and I will admit that I'd give up my car more easily than my phone or computer :laugh: . I do live in a city with transit and bike lanes and car sharing services. We've always only had 1 car at a time and the aging Camry we have will hopefully be our last regular gasoline car. My son demands to know why we don't have an electric car with regularity, LOL. My husband already bikes to work (his employer incentivizes it to boot), and I have in the past. As soon as my older one is ready for our hills and the distances, I am planning on riding my bike with the kids more for transport than I have. I take the kids out on bikes with the younger in a trailer but that is mostly for fun and aside from swinging into the store for a minute or stopping at the library we don't get much in the way of errands done on them. Sometimes I load the kids onto the bus to go somewhere if for no other reason than I don't want to deal with traffic and the gas savings seem significant. If we didn't have kids, I doubt I would have learned to drive at all. :laugh: