I don't know if i can do this anymore (coop related)-JAWM

[Halcyon]

Nm

[Mom2OandE]

Well is it possible he has a learning disability or ADHD, etc? I know my son does and this is likely how he would react in an environment he didnt feel comfortable in. Now with that said I don't put him in outside activities that he wouldn't do well in. We save those things for one on one at home.

 

Have you talked with his mom?

 

I hope things improve!

[Halcyon]

Well is it possible he has a learning disability or ADHD, etc? I know my son does and this is likely how he would react in an environment he didnt feel comfortable in. Now with that said I don't put him in outside activities that he wouldn't do well in. We save those things for one on one at home.

 

Have you talked with his mom?

 

I hope things improve!

 

 

 

No, I haven't. I am considering it, though.

[PentecostalMom]

Sorry things have gone downhill with the co-op. Too bad this boy's mom doesn't try harder to make him cooperative, at least for the class.

[Halcyon]

Thanks, PentecostalMom.

[Starr]

What a pain. I'm sorry. I would talk with him and his mom and see what's going on. If he really doesn't want to be there is there another class he could move into?

[Halcyon]

What a pain. I'm sorry. I would talk with him and his mom and see what's going on. If he really doesn't want to be there is there another class he could move into?

 

No, no other classes. I really think he hates the class, and that makes me sad. I just LOVE this stuff, and so do my kids!

[Halcyon]

Well is it possible he has a learning disability or ADHD, etc? I know my son does and this is likely how he would react in an environment he didnt feel comfortable in. Now with that said I don't put him in outside activities that he wouldn't do well in. We save those things for one on one at home.

 

Have you talked with his mom?

 

I hope things improve!

 

 

I was thinking-I talked to him abut the quiz today that he failed, and asked him if he had studied. He said "no, not really." I asked how much time he had spent, and he said "none." To me, this says he is not trying, or maybe his mom needs to work more closely with him (I email all the parents with the homework, upcoming quizzes, etc.)

[Petrichor]

I think you should definitely let mom know. Start with the positives that this kid brings then address your concerns in a positive way ...if he prepared for class and looked over the material outside of class he could learn so much and wouldn't have such a negative opinion of himself, or enquire about how he does in his other subjects. Some kids really just don't like certain subjects, but it concerns me that he is letting himself think that he is stupid just because he doesn't understand/know the material. If he's not paying attention or studying, how COULD he know the material? you know? I mean, he's not even letting himself have a chance at "being smart"

[Petrichor]

And ((((hugs)))) cause I've worked with kids like this before, and gosh it can be so hard!!!

[Lilaclady]

I think this might be something you will have to do your best to not let it get to you. Since the boy is not even preparing, I can't see how you can figure out if it is a learning disability or not. If he were studying and just not getting it, that is a different matter. I will try and address it with the parents but go in with an open mind because some parents really do not expect anythings from coop, they might just see it as someplace for the kid to go and socialize so they might not be making him study as they don't get what the fuss it. They also might be doing a lot at home and so don't have a lot of time for that.

I wonder if the parents are aware of what is involved before signing up but maybe you can go over expectations again.

 

Hugs to you.

[MooCow]

Another thought, maybe the mom is choosing her battles, and/or has checked out of upkeeping with this class and just uses the class as her 'son-free time'.

[MooCow]

I think this might be something you will have to do your best to not let it get to you. Since the boy is not even preparing, I can't see how you can figure out if it is a learning disability or not. If he were studying and just not getting it, that is a different matter. I will try and address it with the parents but go in with an open mind because some parents really do not expect anythings from coop, they might just see it as someplace for the kid to go and socialize so they might not be making him study as they don't get what the fuss it. They also might be doing a lot at home and so don't have a lot of time for that.

I wonder if the parents are aware of what is involved before signing up but maybe you can go over expectations again.

 

Hugs to you.

 

This. :iagree: But said so much better.

[Halcyon]

I have no trouble agreeing. That doesn't sound pleasant. I have not had good experiences with co-op type stuff. People wig out. They aren't prepared. Many of the kids aren't interested. I no longer seek these things out.

I thought because i could set the parameters, etc. that it would be better than others. I really want my kids to have classroom type exposure with other kids sharing ideas, etc. :(

[Dana]

I don't know why this bothers me so much. DS thinks it's because I really love this material we are studying, and it rubs me the wrong way but a student is so dismissive.

 

I would SO be a terrible public school teacher. :glare:

 

(Let me know if you want me to edit & delete the bit I did quote.)

 

It's also terribly frustrating that this student is disrespectful of the work and effort you've put into preparing for the class & it's rotten that he's disrupting the class with his attitude.

 

At the cc, I talk with the student, tell them to keep quiet, and then flunk 'em.

 

At a co-op, I'd talk with the parent & then I'd boot the kid if his attitude didn't change unless there's something that prevents you from kicking out a kid. If there is something that prevents the ejection, I'd change it for future terms so you can tell them to leave.

I can guarantee with an attitude like that, he's likely the reason that some of the other kids aren't coming anymore.

 

:grouphug:

[Snickerdoodle]

From what you wrote this sounds like attention seeking behavior. It sounds like the boy has a hard time finding appropriate ways to get positive attention. <hugs>

[regentrude]

You need to talk to the parents. they need to be involved and make sure he keeps up with the work. Can you send him home?

I understand how frustrating this must be for you.

If you ever teach a coop class again, I suggest you draw up a contract with the parents and make it clear that a student who does not prepare by doing the assigned reading and the homework will not be allowed to participate any longer - it is not fair to you as a teacher, and it is not fair to the other students.

[Nscribe]

 

 

I can guarantee with an attitude like that, he's likely the reason that some of the other kids aren't coming anymore.

 

 

 

 

I was thinking the same thing. It happens. I have never pulled Dd from a Co-Op/class because of it, but I know others who have pulled their kids quietly because they didn't want the behavior.

[regentrude]

I can guarantee with an attitude like that, he's likely the reason that some of the other kids aren't coming anymore.

 

 

Probably true. I know my kids would have been hugely bothered by somebody like this; they were bothered by similar behavior on part of their ps classmates.

[regentrude]

 

Well, actually, (hate the word actually, but I'm in that kind of mood), your experience sounds relatively good. Really. I can't seem to find anyone but unschoolers, whoknows schoolers, looseschoolers, etc. I had one woman, who I do in fact adore, say she is so relieved that I didn't tell her my son is doing algebra and can read at a high level. Well.....And here I thought homeschooling was going to be some magical better than PS thing.

 

 

That is my experience as well. We are the only family in our homeschool group who homeschools for academic reasons. From what I see form the others, they all seem behind where they would be in ps - but of course that does not matter if you don't believe in formal schooling.

Our coop is glorified playgroup. I tried teaching a class once - never again.

[Halcyon]

 

That is my experience as well. We are the only family in our homeschool group who homeschools for academic reasons. From what I see form the others, they all seem behind where they would be in ps - but of course that does not matter if you don't believe in formal schooling.

Our coop is glorified playgroup. I tried teaching a class once - never again.

 

 

 

I think this is how some of the moms view our group. We are definitely the most academic of the homeschoolers we know around here. Sigh. So frustrating.

[Anne in CA]

You are the teacher, and the kind of talk he has been exhibiting is not appropriate for class room. I would talk to him before he enters about calling attention to himself over not doing his work, and SEND HIM OUT it he keeps it up. He his holding a good thing hostage with his attitude and you have the RIGHT to have the classroom environment you want. I belonged to an academic coop for two years and teachers were to be treated with respect, bottom line. The only way to make that happen was not to allow the sort of behavior you have described. We had a policy in place, kids did not have three strikes, they had two, after two they were only allowed back in the class with a parent present the WHOLE class. My dd chose to be a distraction in her holiday gifts class and was warned once, second warning I was warned, but after that I attended the class with her.

 

I don't think you need to wait for a policy, send him out if he is just there to attract attention to himself and let his mother come and find you. She will be mad and protect her little boy, or she will straighten him out. But the coop I belonged to that had the academic focus you are looking for had to be very firm with people who just wanted social time for their kids. There is soccer for that, you are teaching something and your time is valuable.

[Lily_Grace]

 

 

No, I haven't. I am considering it, though.

 

I am saying this gently, and with love - what are you thinking?

 

 

One of the reasons public school was not a good fit for us was because problems would escalate before being brought to my attention. This is no bene. You have a setting with a handful of students who are not your own. There is absolutely no reason you should not be maintaining a relationship with the parents of these children. The parents of the studious ones need to know how well their kids are doing, the problem kid should be discussed in such a way that you find techniques that work for his mom at home.

 

 

I have a similar approach as Anne In Ore. I refuse to teach a student who doesn't want to be there. I just won't. I give two warnings and then ask him to find his mama. He's always welcome back - after he's informed his mama of his behavior - but the same rules apply. I've had one child who wanted to be dropped and he was allowed, but regretfully. I always wonder if it's me when a child chooses not to be there. If my approach doesn't work. However, my class size has remained largely steady over the years and retains many of the original students - something to think about when I start getting frustrated.

[Mandy in TN]

If I were going to do a group for little people that young, I wouldn't give homework much less quizzes. If I felt the need, I may would give further study suggestions, but I wouldn't take up or grade another young child's explorations of a topic I had presented. Parents have wildly different expectations from kids this age and I wouldn't want to overstep and place demands that fall outside of another homeschool family's expectations and I wouldn't want to waste my time. I would never give written quizzes to a group of homeschooled elementary children, because of the reason already mentioned and also because I view this as a waste of time that could spent with the children interacting with each other. A quiz game sounds like a step in the right direction. I would prefer to do activities that were more cooperative and less competitive.

 

This is where I am now with homeschoolers and group education. I have tried the route that resembles a traditional classroom. After the fact, I always V8 my head and remind myself that I pulled my kids out of school because I wanted to do it differently, so why would I try to replicate a classroom with a group of homeschoolers other than that is the model of group education with which I am most familiar. If for some unknown reason, I decided to go the classroom model route again, I would make certain that the parents had been informed in writing of the class expectations and any repercussions for not meeting those expectations. Some families will think you are joking, but in general you may receive more families who are willing to live up to your guidelines.

 

I know that it is frustrating to be excited to plan things that you think are fun and then have children who cannot participate due to lack of preparation or refuse to fall into the line that you created in your head. BTDT It absolutely sucks. I would definitely talk to the parent. I would have talked to her the first time it happened. Because you have let it slide all year, she now probably feels like her child doesn't need to prepare for class. After all, if it bothered you, you would have said something. Right?

 

HTH-

Mandy

[elegantlion]

You owe it yourself to talk to the mom. The kid could be acting up because he's embarrassed about not being prepared (even if he doesn't realize how he feels about the situation), so he acts out instead. If mom doesn't understand there is work to be done outside of class time, she may not be helping. I wouldn't expect a 10 year old to be independent enough to just do the work without some help from mom, especially if he doesn't really want to be there.

 

Frustrating for sure.

[SarahW]

Seriously, don't let him speak.

 

I agree with the pp who said this sounds like an attention-grab. Maybe he is used to his teacher (mom) doting on him and always doing things with him directly. You don't do that, and he also has to "compete" with your own two sons in the class.

 

My kid, an only-child, sometimes turns into a terror when I do a Sunday School class. He can't handle the fact that my attention isn't solely focused on him, so he acts up, refuses to do what I ask, won't pay attention, and calls all the tasks "stupid." I alternatively ignore him or tell him to go sit in the corner quietly when he does this. This makes him really mad at first, but after a few minutes of not having my attention at all he usually reintegrates into the group by himself.

 

Make a rule: There will be no negative talk in this class. If the kid starts to make a negative statement, cut him off, tell him it is unacceptable, and immediately move on. He may throw a fit at first, to which you should respond by simply separating him from the group (maybe not sit in the corner, but sit out on whatever activity you're working on). After a few minutes specifically invite him to reintegrate.

 

Or, he could just really not want to be there. If his mom doesn't make him apply himself to something he doesn't enjoy, then ask his mom if it would be best if he simply drops out. There's no reason why you (and the other students) should be the ones to fight that battle.