When do you consider a child's interest in going to public school?

[Mommy22alyns]

Okay, an update with my thoughts. Spent the day today with my son's hockey team (we had an away game) and talked to e coach a bit whose son is my son's age and is in public. He is not happy, even though the schools here are considered "the best in Florida" (he's like "um, but it's still Florida, kwim?") the schools here Really cant give my son what e needs academically, which is why we homeschool. Bt we also have found the "keeping them close" ideal to be so important for us the more we homeschool. Dh thinks we need to do some fun sleepovers with his friends. He absolutely thinks public school here is a no go, as long as i want to continue hs-ing, which i do.

 

I think it's the first time my son has ever expressed interest in public school, so i got a little nervous. I KNOW he would hate all of it except recess and the social part. He would hate getting up early, homework, drudge work, amd test prep.

 

 

At the first hint of "hey, so what else is out there besides homeschool?" from my kid i dont need to get into a big tizzy, right? {eyeroll}

 

 

LOL, I'd feel the same way! "Keeping them close" is a big reason for us as well. If you're comfortable with it, the sleepovers are a great idea.

[Amy in NH]

We explore all of their options and they have a big say when they are going into high school.

 

Middle school is a horrible place. I wouldn't put a kid in then.

[Mommy22alyns]

We explore all of their options and they have a big say when they are going into high school.

 

Middle school is a horrible place. I wouldn't put a kid in then.

 

 

 

Exactly. I've told DH that MS is NOT an option.

[TranquilMind]

Let's say you had a child who had 90% public school friends. On his sports team, in other recreational pursuits.....and he expressed interest in going. You query him as to why, and finally he admits that he doesn't like feeling "different" from all his friends. You've already explained to him about public school homework, lack of tailoring to the student, getting up early. But he still talks about it occasionally and you feel badly because he really likes being "one of the gang" and (you believe) feels a bit left out when the other kids are commiserating.

 

Ignore it?

 

 

Knowing what I know now, I would redirect him, not ignore it.

[TranquilMind]

We went through this with my 12 year old son in the Fall. We did lots of talking about it and after yet another complaint about homeschooling and asking again....I did this.....

 

I told him it wouldn't happen right then and there. He would have to finish out the semester at least, maybe school year. We would talk more about it and figure out what was best. But, in order to prepare for the transition to back to public school (we began homeschooling part way through 4th grade), that he would follow the jr high schedule. That meant getting up at 6 and being ready to be on the bus by 6:45. He would sit at a table and could read or play his ipod touch for the "40" minute bus ride. No tv because he wouldn't be able to do that on the bus. Then, I wrote out his schedule and showed him he would have 25 minutes for lunch and back to classes. And, since he would have homework, after soccer practice in the evenings, he would have about 2 hours each night. I told him we would begin that schedule the next week.

 

He came to us that night and said he thought about it and really didn't want to go to public school. He finally figured out for himself what he wanted....more time with friends. (We had asked, but he said that wasn't it.) He thought his friends from his soccer team hung out all day together and sat around. Not the case. But, we did make a commitment to be better at inviting friends to our home....despite our crazy at times schedule. It has made a difference and we haven't had that discussion since. Not to say it won't come up again, but he figured it out himself.

 

Secretly I was SOOOOOOO happy that he came to that decision. We didn't really know what we would do my hubby and I. I had an inkling it was about what he thought he was missing and I was right. It helps that 2 of his good friends on his soccer team are also homeschooled and they get together sometimes when everyone else is in school.

 

It is hard. But, right now the Lord is telling us to homeschool. So, that is what we are doing.

 

 

Good move. Wish I'd thought of that with the one I did allow to go, but knowing that kid, she would have done it all, and probably made the restriction even tighter, just to show she could.

[Laura Corin]

This would give me pause. This wasn't why we sent our boys to school - in our case, we felt that Calvin needed more intellectual input than one person could give him, and there were no co-op options - but it would certainly make me consider the possibility of his going to school.

 

Laura

[2squared]

My son feels the same way and is the same age. The parent of high school age homeschoolers in my area strongly encouraged me to get him a cell phone. That is the main way teens and tweens communicate and kids will be left out of the loop without one. Not what I wanted to hear, but it does reflect reality.

 

 

My 5th grader feels exactly the same way too. All of her friends are public schooled kids. Even though they are great girls, she does have a hard time connecting b/c their base of experiences aren't the same. No matter what she does she will always be on the outside. KWIM? If she had homeschool friend choices, her life would probably feel different....but no one else homeschools in our tiny community.

 

My 5th grader stays in touch with her friends by texting on her iPod. None of her friends have cell phones yet, but they all text on their iPods. Her iPod is her lifeline to them. This would be true regardless of where she goes to school.

 

hama 90% sure I'm putting my dd into PS for the last month of the school year. I want to give all of us a taste of life on the other side, and if she is going to be happy at home, I think she needs to see what public school is really like. Our family needs to see how it works for us too. Our school year will be mostly done by May, and the end of the school year will give us a natural break to regroup before making final decisions for next year.

[dirty ethel rackham]

Interesting discussion. We are going to be facing this soon. Dd12 (in 7th grade) has expressed a desire to go to high school, partially for social reasons adn partially to find a peer group that is more academically minded. She has a lovely group of friends with whom we often do co-op type activities. However, dd is outgrowing them acadamically. I think she would navigate the social scene pretty well - she chooses good people as friends and seems to adapt well to various situations. On one hand, I am not eager for her to enter the pressure cooker of our local high school. This is a school that did away with class rank because kids with above a 4.0 gpa can end up out of the top 25% of the class. It is highly competitive academically - so stressful that a group of stellar academic kids formed a cheating ring to cope with the pressures of staying on top. I'm not confident she would be able to handle the academic pressure (not the high level of work but the constant pressure.) I mourn the idea of letting go of her education to people who are about prestige rather than engaging the kids in meaningful learning. I mourn the freedom in our schedule. We may look into having her take some classes at the high school, do some at home, and eventually take college classes.

[PentecostalMom]

BTDT, we let dh go part-time and it was a nightmare. Made attitudes worse, he came home and told stories or kids selling pot in the hallway. This was at a private school, not a public one. since this experience, the answer is no. I will not, unless I have no other choice, let me dc go to ANY school.

[woolybear]

I think it depends on several factors. Why you are homeschooling and the age of the child are important. But I would also really consider what the child's reasons for wanting to go. If ds said he wanted to go to school so he could ride the bus, it wouldn't be a major consideration. However, my ds is now 12 and he has several reasons he is thinking about it, which I consider important enough to strongly consider it. One is his involvement in a particular sport. Another is having more day to day interaction with his friends. And lastly, he just wants the whole experience.

 

So, I think when they are capable of weighing the factors to some extent is when I would consider it. I definitely wouldn't ignore it at any point. Maybe the reasons for wanting to go are valid needs that can be met in a different way.

[Trilliums]

I have to comment on the keeping them close part. I am so glad we homeschooled until high school. I feel we have a closeness in our family not often seen. My kids come home from high school and generally spend up to an hour talking to me about their day and various observations. I can't help but think that if they had been in school all along, this would not be happening. But, to be honest, sometimes they sound like social scientists discussing the customs of a foreign culture and I have had those moments of internally cringing where I wonder if homeschooling has made them into these unusual creatures. The kinds of stuff they talk about other kids doing...ugh...my kids come home and talk about it to me because the cussing, lying, disdain for school and cheating IS alien to them and they see it as basically wrong and bewildering. They ask...is this what society is REALLY like? We are a liberal, non-religious family, and I don't consider myself to have sheltered the kids--we don't shy away from discussing societal issues. And the high school IS a very good, academically oriented school. Kids are not picked on for being smart, rather it is more of a high pressure academic atmosphere (but I think this also creates a sense of "why bother" in many smart, but not top of the class kinds of kids). The kinds of things they see are pretty mild, imo, and not wide spread, but to them any kind of cheating/lying/academic disdain is foreign and they don't understand why the kids just don't do the work themselves.

 

 

Anyways...I still wouldn't blanket rule out ps for kids at any age range as there are so many variables influencing the situation. Sometimes we simply cannot adequately predict the outcome until we give it a try. Is starting ahead a year a possibility in order to provide him with more academically challenging work?

[RootAnn]

I've considered sending my kids for a one day "shadowing" experience (to the next district over - because I can't see myself sending them to the down-the-block school). I'm still on the fence on that one.

 

My two olders no longer ask to go. They know plenty of kids at the local school and wouldn't fit in with that crowd no matter what. (They wouldn't be able to talk about the TV shows, music, boyz, or the i-tech lingo.) I anticipate addressing this issue with dd#3 at some point. . . .

 

If it were the best thing for that kid, I would like to think I would send them (but not to the just-down-the-block school). I haven't figured out what would make it 'the best thing.'

[UmMusa]

When do you consider a child's interest in going to public school?

 

When you realize that maybe it might be the best thing for that child. If you think they might actually be happier schooling with other kids, rather than at home. We have one in B&M school. She has complained somewhat that most of her classes aren't challenging enough, but, emotionally she's so much happier that the trade-off has been worth it.

 

I have one in public and three at home. The one on public is much, much happier this year all around. He was getting miserable at home during 5 th grade. The three at home are happy at home, by the way!