shanezomom Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 I'm posting today for a reality check. Does this lifestyle sound normal or nuts, and does anyone have a suggestion for how I could organize this better? This is not a woe-is-me because I know most of us are overwhelmed. I just need to see how I can be more efficient to git-er-done. My husband and I own a machine shop where I help him run machines, quote jobs, order steel, help maintain our machines, etc. We are out here at 8 pm on Sunday night getting some rush jobs finished for the a.m. We always have lots of work from great customers. It's just the two of us and dh needs employees for the work load but we can't find any qualified machinists because not enough people want this field anymore. (A topic for another time - the trades and homeschool career exploration.) Dh and I get along great so that's not a stressor. I also do the office work: invoicing, paying bills, corporate taxes, insurance reviews, computer networking, etc. I homeschool our 6th grade ds, only child, and have him in Tae Kwon Do two nights a week, Awana on Weds., piano one day/week but am taking a break from the every-other-week co-op and speech/debate club. I love having ds's friends over so at least once a week we have a kid or two or three over here to run around the house. This is a true pleasure for me. My husband and I have been renovating a 100-yr old house for the last year with the help of a handyman-friend of ours and are getting close to having only the interior finishing and siding/gutters to do . We don't live there - it's a couple minutes from our house. We renovated a little apartment next to that house to accomodate dh's 83 yr old aunt who needs looking after. I check in on her, provide chat time and fulfill some shopping requests. Lots of things are always half done : laundry, house, meals, garage is a mess, etc. I was 42 when our son was born, am now 54, am noticing decreased energy. I tore knee meniscus a year ago slipping on a wet mat on pavement and excercise exacerbates the pain and as a by-product, my weight has crept up 50 lbs. I'm on thyroid meds. My desk at work is a mess, our schoolroom is a mess, and I feel like I race from one pressing thing to another. I am mostly calm about it, through God's grace, but once in a while I freak out (not the scary mommy way, I just get in a tizzy and impatient). Is this lifestyle nuts or do I just need better management skills? I don't see anything I can give up. I am not a morning person and get up about 7:30 but am not ready to go until 8:30. I don't know where else to go with this request since homeschooling is at the core of my life and identity. Our son is bright enough to get by with the amount of schooling we get done, but I will need to step it up next year for 7th grade. More online classes through Veritas or Memoria Press, Bravewriter perhaps? "Me time" is browsing homeschooling stuff online, (but this new WTM format has helped me cut down substantially sniff, sniff) I have many, many books that I long to read that would help me be a better Christian, mother, teacher and wife. Many books on classical education that require deep thinking, many of those started but not finished. Many audio books waiting for me. Bible reading doesn't get done. So, any ideas for me? Bless your heart if you read all this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 No real suggestions but if you lived near here my dh would come work for you. He is a machinst/tool and die maker. Problem with that type of job is around here many places want you 65-75 hours a week on split shifts and then there is no family time----which is why many guys are leaving the field. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 What is the chance of getting that knee fixed? I'm sure that sounds totally impossible, but living with chronic knee pain is not a good thing. Pain hurts and you end up moving less to avoid it and that means less exercise and less energy and things just build up (like weight). Fnding qualified machinists sounds like a real challenge, but I bet finding qualified accounting help would be easier. Maybe someone interested in part-time hours to pick up that invoicing, taxing, insurance workload for you. I think with a workload like you describe, I would look at some of the extra things to offload - maybe hire some house-keeping help once a week? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpyTheFrog Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 So you are working at least full-time, in two different fields. You are also taking your son to several activities, homeschooling him, and showing hospitality to his friends. Plus you are renovating an entire house and helping out an elderly aunt. Your are trying to do all this despite health problems and a painful injury. Better time management is not the answer. YOU ARE DOING TOO MUCH! You are going to get burned out and make your health problems worse if you don't cut back. If you didn't already own the extra house, would you buy it and renovate it now? If the answer is anything other than "Yes, definitely," then you should seriously consider selling it. Even if you are needed to do machining, you could still hire someone to do the taxes, books, and other office work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpyTheFrog Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 It's just the two of us and dh needs employees for the work load but we can't find any qualified machinists because not enough people want this field anymore. Where is he looking for workers? Maybe the qualified workers aren't hearing about the job openings for some reason. Is there a vocational school that trains workers where he could advertise? Would he consider setting up an apprenticeship program and training his own workers? Another possibility is that there is a big reason why qualified workers don't want the job, such as pay, a work schedule they don't like, etc. (I'm not accusing you of anything, just giving you something to consider.) Often times I read stories about large corporations complaining they "can't find" qualified workers, when really the problem is the qualified workers aren't willing to do the job for the pay being offered. If these companies increased the wages, the so-called "labor shortage" would disappear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa R. Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 So you are working at least full-time, in two different fields. Even if you are needed to do machining, you could still hire someone to do the taxes, books, and other office work. All your activities sound very productive and satisfying for you and your family. I'd either hire someone to do your job at the office or hire someone to help you with work at home. A housekeeper or professional organizer could help bring some order to life at your house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susann Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Oh, Sweetie, I got tired just reading all that you do!!! I agree with Lisa R. above. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jelbe5 Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Wow, you have a lot on your plate! I will be 50 this year and I am noticing a decrease in energy. I also had a torn meniscus, just recently fixed in December. If you can get it fixed, I would recommend that. I am getting to the point now where I will be able exercise without pain. Losing weight will help but I honestly could not do that before because of the constant pain. I was wondering if there would be some teen/young adult homeschoolers who would be interested in an apprentice opportunity with regards to your business. Pay could be involved, but part of the "benefit" would be learning a trade or skills so the pay could be kept lower. This could apply to the machine aspect of your business as well as the office/clerical aspect. Of course, training will be involved which will create work for you and your dh, but the right people, once trained, could be a Godsend. Just a thought. A lot of young people may be interested in such an opportunity and interested in following a career path which is different than the usual 4-year college route. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 :grouphug: its a lot. i am thinking that getting a few things under control will help it all feel more manageable. i'd start with laundry. decide when you are doing it, do it then, and see if it works. if it doesn't, try it differently. currently i do one load a day, every day. just about everything except jeans and linens go in the machine on cold all together. we hang dry things. i put a load in after breakfast, hang it up midmorning, put it away before dinner. think about why its only half done, and the things that need to change, and then change them. that's one thing down :driving: ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 next up: breakfast. think about it, decide how to manage it. tweak it. do it. then lunch. then dinner. there is one day a week where i use the crockpot, because i have morning time to start something, but no afternoon time to cook. there is one night a week where i set the breadmaker, so there is bagel dough ready to be boiled and baked when i get up in the morning. perhaps your dear son could take on cooking one night a week. you'd need to work with him initially, but that could help a lot. second thing down :driving: ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 now think carpools. can you share driving to tae kwon do, or awanas or both? there were two years in my life where i shared cooking with a neighbor, too. i cooked for both families three nights a week, and my neighbor did the other three. we did our own thing on sunday nights. so every other night dinner would magically appear. it took some coordinating, but it was so worth it. another time, for three years, i got together once a month with three friends and we spent a day cooking for the freezer. we would leave with 16 meals, half of what i needed for evening meals. it was fun, delicious and made everyday life much, much easier. and now, i cook for eight all the time rather than four, so that half the meal goes in the freezer for those days when we need that. that is the easiest thing of the three to do, but not quite so much fun. good luck! ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 First off, get thee to a pool! Water aerobics can help you get the excercise you need without putting stress on your knee. Water therapy is wonderful for knee injuries. I second above pp's suggestion of either finding someone to come in and help w/ chores, or help w/ the office work. Even if it's a teenager after school to help w/ laundry and basic cleaning. A teenager won't cost as much, and you get your laundry done, floors/bathrooms/dusting/whatever taken care of. Look into that carpooling idea, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 You're trying to do too much. If you won't cut back on some of your obligations and activities, I don't think you will be able to organize yourself too much better than you already are. Quite frankly, I am amazed and impressed at how much you are able to accomplish, and can't think of any way to do much simplification without eliminating some of the things you do. I would be totally burned out if I tried to live your life. You are really burning the candle from both ends. I hope other super-busy people will chime in with some ideas for you, because I'm at a complete loss. Clearly, I should be taking organization lessons from you! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMCassandra Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Wow, I could not do a fraction of that. If I were in your situation, I would do the following: a. Get a housekeeper who also does laundry b. Get an accountant c. Cut at least one of my son's activities outside the home d. Stop the renovating, at least for a while e. Get the knee seen and attended to f. Take a break from hosting playmates until e is completed g. Then evaluate what to pick back up, if anything Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 1. Have your knee looked at. If nothing is to be done, make getting into a pool to exercise a priority. This whole thing falls apart if YOU are out of commission. 2. Hire a housekeeper or secretary at the office. You really need one or the other because squeezing middle school into your life is a LOT easier than making a high school education happen under those conditions. 3. If you can't/won't lighten your load at home or work, you might want to think about how you're going to outsource high school. You're identity will recover. It has PLENTY to do. 4. Do SOMETHING for yourself. You deserve a life too. Find something that energizes/recharges you before you are depleted. I'm exhausted reading your post and I'm a decade younger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazyforlatin Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 No helpful advice, but wow, you are impressive. I like the idea of an accountant or an office assistant/secretary. The latter can make a world of difference, from what I've seen, when I worked at a small firm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanezomom Posted January 14, 2013 Author Share Posted January 14, 2013 Thanks, ladies! Your suggestions really helped me re-think things. I set up time with a Quickbooks accountant to get me caught up with my bookkeeping. I might continue to farm that part out if it goes well. I called a friend who cleans houses to start every other week. I will do some batch cooking to freeze some meals to keep us a little healthier. I made an appt. about my knee. And I'll think about the laudry more as a load-at-a-time endeavor instead of one huge block of time. Thank you, thank you!! This board rocks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reya Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 I'd get aggressive about finding employees for DH, too. Right now, there's no gradual retirement for him. With a few employees--if you promise NOT to do the swing shift stuff, etc. :)--he can gradually step back and do less of the actual work while still having income. Eventually, you could both be putting in maybe 10 hours a week each and still have a good income from the shop in addition to any retirement savings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 So you are working at least full-time, in two different fields. You are also taking your son to several activities, homeschooling him, and showing hospitality to his friends. Plus you are renovating an entire house and helping out an elderly aunt. Your are trying to do all this despite health problems and a painful injury. Better time management is not the answer. YOU ARE DOING TOO MUCH! You are going to get burned out and make your health problems worse if you don't cut back. If you didn't already own the extra house, would you buy it and renovate it now? If the answer is anything other than "Yes, definitely," then you should seriously consider selling it. Even if you are needed to do machining, you could still hire someone to do the taxes, books, and other office work. Actually, this sounds an awful lot like my life. Sigh..... Dh is a HVAC tech/plumber and we own our own business. We do have other techs in the field, but I have been known to grab a tool bag and go on a night call or two. I do all the books, taxes, appointments, invoicing, payroll, deal with banks, insurance companies etc, for our family and our business. I homeschool my kids and have had chronic health issues for years....probably caused by my many responsibilities and the stress involved. I see no way out.....other than a windfall inheritance ( not gonna happen) or death ( not an option). Quite frankly, it sucks....but we have to make a living and support our family, keep our household running, we like electricity and heat and running water....oh, and food too. If I had a crystal ball 25 years ago....I would have done things majorly differently....but I don't, and didn't, and can't......so...I plod on. I have no advice....Except hire whoever you can afford to cover other work you need to do. Oh, I did cut out most extra curriculars for my youngest kids. They don't miss them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 I'm so glad (and impressed!!!) to hear that you're already taking action! :hurray: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 That's quite a lot of activity. I agree to farming out as much of it as you can so that you don't get burnt out. Best of luck to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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