extendedforecast Posted January 6, 2013 Share Posted January 6, 2013 DH was invited by a potential client to have dinner at his home. DH told me a few days ago, but it never occurred to me that I was also invited. Eek! I dread things like this. I'm an introvert, and shy, and it takes me a little while to feel comfortable around others. A lot of people have told me that they initially thought I was a snob, but after getting to know me I'm the complete opposite. So how on earth am I supposed to get through tonight? DH barely knows the husband; they've met once. They are very wealthy too. I still have to figure out what to wear, what to bring (wine?), and be ready to go in a little more than an hour. I need some major encouragement right now. Anyone want to tell me to relax? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted January 6, 2013 Share Posted January 6, 2013 Try to smile and ask questions. That way you don't have to talk too much yourself. I have no idea if you should bring anything, especially at this late hour. Just keep reminding yourself that you'll get to go home and relax. Surely you wouldn't be expected to stay more than 2 hours. Does anyone know what the etiquette is for how long to stay at a dinner? You can do this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lara in Colo Posted January 6, 2013 Share Posted January 6, 2013 Speak carefully and think about what to say as you are saying it (I tend to blurt out stuff and really put my foot in it!!). Compliment the hostess on her home and her food. Wear something that makes you feel good inside. I would take a bottle of wine or some bath salts type thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted January 6, 2013 Share Posted January 6, 2013 Well, rather than tell you to relax (which usually isn't all that helpful, right? ;) ), I'd rather tell you to go in with a plan. Specifically, go with a plan to ask questions and listen significantly more than you talk. Asking other people about themselves (about their interests, passions, hobbies, etc.) is a great way to generate fodder for the conversation (the more you ask, the more there is to talk about = less dead air), and people usually love to talk about themselves. Since you mentioned you're an introvert and shy, being the one asking the questions might give you the time and space you need to "warm up" and feel more comfortable as the evening progresses. There have actually been studies on this - the more people talk about themselves, the more positively they feel about their conversation partner, and the more interesting they think the other person is!! :p At the end of the evening, they'll come away thinking "Cindy is the most interesting person", even though they were the ones talking the majority of the time. Try it - it totally works. Hope you're able to relax and have a wonderful time! :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in TX Posted January 6, 2013 Share Posted January 6, 2013 Well, rather than tell you to relax (which usually isn't all that helpful, right? ;) ), I'd rather tell you to go in with a plan. Specifically, go with a plan to ask questions and listen significantly more than you talk. Asking other people about themselves (about their interests, passions, hobbies, etc.) is a great way to generate fodder for the conversation (the more you ask, the more there is to talk about = less dead air), and people usually love to talk about themselves. Since you mentioned you're an introvert and shy, being the one asking the questions might give you the time and space you need to "warm up" and feel more comfortable as the evening progresses. There have actually been studies on this - the more people talk about themselves, the more positively they feel about their conversation partner, and the more interesting they think the other person is!! :p At the end of the evening, they'll come away thinking "Cindy is the most interesting person", even though they were the ones talking the majority of the time. Try it - it totally works. Hope you're able to relax and have a wonderful time! :001_smile: This. I'm an introvert, although not shy. I loathe chitchat and can never think of anything sensible to say. I find that asking people about what they do, where they're from, their children, etc., is really effective. You can do this! It won't be as bad as you're anticipating. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heatherwith4 Posted January 6, 2013 Share Posted January 6, 2013 I'm very introverted, too. It will be ok! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
extendedforecast Posted January 6, 2013 Author Share Posted January 6, 2013 Ask questions-got it. Thank you all. I am figuring out what to wear just now. I don't want to go overdressed, so maybe some slacks and a nice blouse. Good thing I curled my hair earlier. What type of wine would you suggest? We aren't wine drinkers, except for sparkling wine. I'm feeling more confident now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted January 6, 2013 Share Posted January 6, 2013 You are sweet and kind, it will be OK. Ask questions, listen intently. Pinot Noir is nice. Kind of a go with everything red. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted January 6, 2013 Share Posted January 6, 2013 Relax. You will be fine. Just listen to what people say and find a follow up question to ask. I think the most common mistake people make, whether they are attention hogs or seriously shy, is thinking they are supposed to say interesting things about themselves. Wrong. You are socially supposed to ask questions that allow other people to feel fascinating. Listen. Ask. Listen. Ask. I swear that will get you through any social situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lara in Colo Posted January 6, 2013 Share Posted January 6, 2013 A good Merlot--- really just ask the store guy. any wine is fine, just remember, she may have something else planned and may just shelve this one for later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted January 6, 2013 Share Posted January 6, 2013 Slacks and a nice blouse sound perfect. In terms of wine, for red wine I recommend a Malbec. It's something different - plus I've honestly never tried a Malbec I didn't like, so it seems hard to go wrong (whereas I've had many "duds" in other varietals). One of my favorites is the Trapiche Malbec, but any Malbec from Argentina is good. If you'd rather go with white wine, I'd go with a Pinot Grigio (from Italy or Oregon) or a white dessert wine such as a Spatlese (from Germany) or Moscato (there are some great ones from California). See if the store has one of those pretty wine gift bags - those are always a nice touch! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
extendedforecast Posted January 6, 2013 Author Share Posted January 6, 2013 We are on our way. We got a merlot but no gift bag. I ended up wearing a dress at the risk of going overdressed. I couldn't find a good match of the pants and tops i had hanging in my closet, and i didn't have time to iron. Oh well. DH looks amazing:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Personally, I'd rather be overdressed than underdressed. Have a good time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 wondering how it all went..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 me too Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heatherwith4 Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 :bigear: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 I'm waiting for an update, too -- I'm sure everything went well, but it's awful to be nervous, so I have been thinking about Cindy and hoping she had a great time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 :lurk5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Well let's hope she's having a grand time and made a dear friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Well let's hope she's having a grand time and made a dear friend. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
besroma Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Curious here about how it went! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
extendedforecast Posted January 7, 2013 Author Share Posted January 7, 2013 Thanks for all your help, really; you all gave me so much confidence last night. We arrived exactly on time to a beautiful house. It was immediately apparent that we were overdressed, but I was only self conscious for a few minutes. The interior of the house, while beautifully upgraded and decorated, was cozy and comforting with kid's artwork proudly displayed all over the kitchen and a ping pong table with a huge guinea pig cage set in the middle of the family room. We lined up to serve ourselves frito pie, a dish I haven't made in years. The chili was home made and delicious. We all took turns asking questions about each other until we found common ground. This didn't take long at all. After a lengthy discussion about football, the conversation turned to business. I let my husband take over and answer questions. Occasionally someone would ask my opinion on something, and I'd answer to the best of my ability. The rest of the conversation went back and forth between parenting and business. The hostess served blackberry pie and coffee for dessert. And then we left. On the way home DH and I decided we were still hungry, so we stopped at a Greek restaurant for a quick bite and talk. So thank you again. Your advice was spot on and, thankfully our hosts were very down to earth, unlike some of DH's other clients. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Glad to hear it went well! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AKshanmar Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Down to earth people just make the world a better place! Glad you had a nice evening! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 I'm glad to hear it went so well! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Glad you had a nice time! :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in TX Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 yay! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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