seeking wisdom from seasoned homeschoolers ( children at least high school age...) re: gentle early years

[pehp]

I am pondering first grade and have been thinking about nuts and bolts and what matters most in the early years. I want some seasoned homeschoolers to impart wisdom.

 

I have spent quite a lot of time this Christmas break wondering about what to do next year....thinking about Ambleside...Sonlight....WTM....all the whiles also thinking of David and Micki Colfax. Raymond and Dorothy Moore. And one mother of 5 wildly successful (academically and in finding their vocations in their teen years) children I know whose early schooling approach until 3rd grade was lots of Miquon math....some copywork....and reading aloud (child to parent once thry could read....but of course she read to them for fun too!) The rigor occurred later.

 

Fwiw ....for kindy we are doing the three Rs. I read aloud (Charlotte's web right now:)). We do easy elemental science 2 days per week and attend classical conversations. We love school. It is never the source of conflict....stress....or bad feelings. We engage the material and then spend lots of time doing chores or outside or whatever :)

 

If you took a similar approach in your early years (gentle/less formal)....are you pleased?

 

What are the best pieces of advice you can offer to someone starting out?

 

My goal now is to build a strong foundation for math and language and foster a great relationship. But I look at schedules that are more involved and I start to feel a little scared...like I am missing something! Yet.....so many have gone before me in this way and have seen their children thrive academically.

 

I like gleaning wisdom from people with more experience....so I would love to get some!

 

[pehp]

Oh I apologize for the typos!!! I am unused to typing on a kindle and I'm all thumbs! How annoying!

[Jean in Newcastle]

We started out gentle. We got more structured in 5th grade. I don't regret it. Advice: read a lot - it builds vocabulary, a sense of grammar and language that is invaluable. Do a lot of hands on math and science and history. Not every one would agree with me on that - some like doing reading in those areas but I found those things fun and rewarding for my kids.

[PentecostalMom]

We started out with complete Abeka when we pulled our two older dc in 1st and 2nd grades. Bleh. It works, but is too much "school"! We switched to Sonlight and loved every minute. I probably got more diligent and structured with textbook type work in about 7th grade. My ds took some outside classes so he was able to graduate with his older sister. I read the Colfax books and the Moores. Some things I agree with, others not, but is the same with WTM and LCC. I glean what I can and do what I think is best for our family.

[Karen in CO]

We started out gentle. We got more structured in 5th grade. I don't regret it. Advice: read a lot - it builds vocabulary, a sense of grammar and language that is invaluable. Do a lot of hands on math and science and history. Not every one would agree with me on that - some like doing reading in those areas but I found those things fun and rewarding for my kids.

 

 

I'll agree with you, Jean. Once my kids read well, I let them follow their interests in science and history.

 

My basic plan has been to focus on the 3R's with varying emphasis. First, I work hard on reading with some handwriting and copywork and hands-on math. Then I gradually transition to more independent reading and more writing. Finally, we start working more on math toward 3rd grade. We never really neglect any area; we just change focus as one part is mastered. I try to leave lots of free time for outside and imaginative play, art, music, crafts, handwork, poetry and stories. It hasn't been all tea and roses, but it has worked well for us so far. My kids all love learning, love books, music and poetry. They can all cook and all still play together. Again, we are far from perfect. I always question what I'm doing, and deep-down suspect I might be ruining their lives, but I am starting to get over that feeling finally.

[Parrothead]

If I had it to do over again I'd take a gentle approach. Lots of reading. Lots of gams instead of drills.

[pehp]

Thank you all. I welcome any additional insights!!!

 

After becoming entranced by bells and whistles of various programs and then stepping back to breathe my instincts are kicking in and here is what I am thinking of for first grade....

 

-continuing reading lessons (he is doing great with these!)

-Miquon and lots of math games

-copywork

 

My son enjoys science so we will do elemental science (bio) 2 days per week. (we do this in a very laid-back fashion)

 

Each day I will alternate some read alouds to him. Alternating history (hillyer) with the literature selections (just so stories, some grimms fairy tales, aesops fables, and so on)...only 10-20 minutes per day.

 

Classical conversations we will continue....we do the memory work via CD and enjoy looking at the beautiful timeline cards (all informal). I do it more for social aspects than academic, but appreciate the 'extra' time he gets there.

 

My focus will be on establishing the strong foundations in math and reading.....

 

And lots of time outside (we live on a farm), on walks, doing chores and so on!

[Lori D.]

First, welcome to homeschooling! May it be a wonderful adventure for your whole family! :)

 

Second, two things you said pop out to me:

 

#1

for kindy we are doing the three Rs. I read aloud (Charlotte's web right now:)). We do easy elemental science 2 days per week and attend classical conversations. We love school. It is never the source of conflict....stress....or bad feelings...My goal now is to build a strong foundation for math and language and foster a great relationship.

 

#2

But I look at schedules that are more involved and I start to feel a little scared...like I am missing something!

 

 

To summarize:

1. What you are doing works, is well-balanced with real life, and is enjoyed by all.

2. Looking at what *other* families do is triggering doubts.

 

I know that being new to homeschooling makes it easy to feel unsure, but you're doing great and it's all working great! My only advice would be: "Don't fall into the trap of comparing or looking at others or "the grass is greener..."

 

You've got a great balance between real life and academics, between relaxed and the more rigorous (Classical Conversations), and you're meeting your child at DC's ability and level. I can't think of a better way of succeeding and ending up with a great outcome! :) Enjoy your journey! Warmest regards, Lori D.

[Trilliums]

 

 

Fwiw ....for kindy we are doing the three Rs. I read aloud (Charlotte's web right now:)). We do easy elemental science 2 days per week and attend classical conversations. We love school. It is never the source of conflict....stress....or bad feelings. We engage the material and then spend lots of time doing chores or outside or whatever :)

 

If you took a similar approach in your early years (gentle/less formal)....are you pleased?

 

 

We took a very gentle approach in the early years. If education became a source of conflict of stress, I re-evaluated. My kids were asynchronous learners and most standard curriculum didn't schedule very well with the development of their learning. Conceptual understanding for them was beyond the more mechanical areas. It took me a couple of years of homeschooling to get to the point where I was able to embrace the less formal approach though. We engaged in a lot of active learning, but it did not look much like standard school work. I used different living math resources (mainly the library and tons of manipulatives), we read about science and history frequently, discussed just about every thing and cycled through trying a variety of LA programs. It was hit and miss. I definitely had times of worrying about them being behind state standards. When they reached the early teen years though, their abilities changed drastically and they started to catch up in areas. Handwriting, grammar, spelling, etc started to fall into place.

 

My kids are now in 9th and 10th grade. As they hit middle school age, we mutually decided on more structured learning for high school. After considering several options (outsourcing using various sources, using programs at home, using online programs, etc) they felt trying public school was the best route. My kids were surprisingly alert to the monetary costs of outsourcing classes. We openly discussed prices of outside classes and they felt they would rather take advantage of the classes offered at the ps and have extra money earmarked for their college funds. After 9 years of relaxed homeschooling, they have integrated very well into honors and AP classes at the ps (as in, all As, mostly A+s).

 

One regret is not taking the relaxed approach earlier. My other regret is worrying so much about all of it!

 

Every family is different. One of the many joys of homeschooling is the ability to do what works best for our particular situation.

[coffeegal]

I've noticed I start a little earlier than many, but like a gentler approach through 3rd or 4th grade. My plan for my 2 youngestbased on child #4

 

4yo - 100 Easy lessons then Phonics Pathways, Queen's Language Lessons for LIttle Ones Vol. 1, lots of stories & activites (fun stuff)

5yo - Phonics pathways, Queen's Vol 2, math games or Saxon K, stories & activities

1st grade - Phonics Pathways or Spelling Workout 1, Queen's vol. 3, Pentime Penmanship 1, Saxon Math 1, We'll begin TOG lightly and Elemental Science lightly (emphasis on fun)

2nd grade - Spelling Workout 2, Rod & Staff English 2, Pentime Penmanship 2, Saxon Math 2, TOG & ES lightly

3rd grade - similar

 

Formal school only takes from 15 minutes (4) to an hour or two in the 2nd grade. I think my 4th grader only has about 2 hours of school a day now that I think about it. As long as reading, handwriting, and math stay on level I'm happy. I like a gradual increase in writing or copywork. Phonics Pathways takes us years to complete because we do a lot of repeating. If the child begins to get frustrated, we go back and review. 3 steps forward, 2 steps back. My littles are usually thrilled to show off what they know, but hate to deal with too many challenges. So my goal is to have a child who can read well, comfortable with a pencil (able to physically write copious amounts), and on target with math.

[letsplaymath]

We took a very gentle approach to the elementary years and then gradually increased the rigor through middle school. Lots of reading aloud, making up math stories, etc. With four homeschool graduates and my youngest about ready for high school, I have no regrets!

[G5052]

No regrets. I took a gentle approach in K-2nd, and then ramped it up appropriately. My only goals for K-2nd were to get them reading, doing basic copywork, and mostly hands-on math (we used Rightstart). We used Sonlight for history and literature, and various things for science including local classes that I taught at the time. We were also in Classical Conversations for most of those year.

 

Biased as I am, they are becoming delightful young adults, and I have no concerns even now about college.

[pehp]

Thanks for these insights. When I think of doing a heavier course load I feel like drowning. I have no wish to do those things, and I have no real evidence that I need to do those things yet! My daughter turns 2 in a few days, and I don't want to be overburdening myself with trying to keep up with a busy toddler AND a fast-paced first grade year. It doesn't seem worth the stress it would impose upon me or my family at this juncture.

 

I do not have any desire to burn out or get overly stressed at things that are not ultimately important, at this age. So I appreciate these insights and the encouragement that the world will not stop spinning if I follow my instincts. It is sometimes tricky when I look at my contemporaries (age-wise) in homeschooling, who are piling on the work for their younger children, and I cannot see the fruit of that yet (nor can I see the fruit of my approach).....the future seems quite unknown! It is almost like swimming against the tide because all of my homeschooling friends are pretty ambitious with their courses in the early years.

 

I'm a strong swimmer, though....

[Barbara H]

Good to follow your instincts. I'd say we not only have no regrets - but a great deal of appreciation - for the early gentle years. Time and freedom are the greatest gifts of homeschooling so take advantage of them.

 

The one thing I'd add is that for some kids the lure of screens speaks more loudly than all of the good stuff (outdoor play, imaginative play, cooking, reading). So, I say gentle, but with little (or no) emphasis or availability of electronics.

[pehp]

Yes...good point! I am very strict about DVDs. We don't watch TV or own any video games.

[Laura Corin]

We started gently but ramped up. At age five we were probably doing about an hour a day (English and maths) plus read-alouds. By age 10 it was about 22 hours a week, so an average of about 4 1/2 hours a day plus PE and assigned reading. By that time we were studying English, maths, science, history, recorder, Latin and Chinese, plus a selection from RE, art, art history, music appreciation.....

 

Both boys had a lot of time for doing other things. Calvin spent hours every afternoon reading - his teachers talk about the depth of his appreciation for literature and the breadth of his general knowledge. Hobbes squashed his school time into four days so he could have Friday free for horse riding. He also gets comments about his wealth of background knowledge.

 

We didn't allow any screens from Monday to Friday, so they had lots of time to read and play.

 

Laura

[Ellie]

My younger dd wasn't reading at her age level until she was 9½. We never finished a math book, or an English book (except for younger dd, who completed Easy Grammar). We did lots of badge work for Camp Fire, and a weekly field trip, and lots of staying at home. Both dds began taking classes at the community college when they were 14, where they aced almost every course. I guess relaxed worked for them. :-)

[Kathy in Richmond]

The early years here were filled with imaginative play, Miquon math, read-alouds, reading (after age 7; no early readers here), board & card games, grandparent visits, playground, park, and museum trips, sidewalk chalk, chores, scout troops, play dates, dance & piano, etc,... and especially just going through everyday life together, talking and discussing everything. Not too much curriculum. Limits on TV and screen time, but not forbidden entirely.

 

We ramped up academic expectations as they grew older and developed interests. They owned the idea of working hard on schoolwork by the time high school came around. Both kids are both doing more than fine now, and we have no regrets. OK, maybe one; we probably would have pulled the oldest out of public schooling sooner if we'd known then how much we were going to like homeschooling.

[pehp]

The early years here were filled with imaginative play, Miquon math, read-alouds, reading (after age 7; no early readers here), board & card games, grandparent visits, playground, park, and museum trips, sidewalk chalk, chores, scout troops, play dates, dance & piano, etc,... and especially just going through everyday life together, talking and discussing everything. Not too much curriculum. Limits on TV and screen time, but not forbidden entirely.

 

We ramped up academic expectations as they grew older and developed interests. They owned the idea of working hard on schoolwork by the time high school came around. Both kids are both doing more than fine now, and we have no regrets. OK, maybe one; we probably would have pulled the oldest out of public schooling sooner if we'd known then how much we were going to like homeschooling.

 

Thank you so much for this!! Your list of activities (miquon, read alouds, games, grandparents, parks, etc) are basically what I strive to do and love doing. I am much assured, to be honest, by this post and the others. It is so nice to hear from the 'other side' of homeschooling--years down the line.

 

At what age did you ramp it up? Later elementary, as the children matured? I am assuming this actually happens in a somewhat organic fashion, as the child becomes more able to do certain things and more interested in certain topics. Did you follow a curriculum then, or create your own based on each child? (I ask this b/c I can already see the writing on the wall re: my eldest. He's a mathy, spatially-inclined engineer type like my husband. I don't know about my dd yet, she's not quite 2 :).....but it is clear that my son will be inclined to the maths/sciences. I want him to be well-rounded no matter what! I see in your sig that you have at least one child who was probably like this--your eldest--so I'm curious how homeschooling takes shape in that case.)

[laughing lioness]

I've read the authors you mentioned (and a few more here) and laugh. Have you read Colfax's Hard Times in Paradise? They were the original Hard Work U. Part of their life involved doing hard core problem solving to save the family farm, trig to build the family house and biz to run the family biz. Lot's of folks call them unschoolers, but only in the traditional sense of the word- not in the way the word is bandied about now.

I've always done phonics instruction around 5, we do a lot of memory work. We listen to a lot of CD's, books out loud and ed videos. There are lots of crafts, a lot of outside play- tramp/pool and acerage romping/walks and nature observation- along with and free time to play, color, think, read, write, toys, etc. We also do math, Miquon books, tons of mazes and dot- to -dots, and copywork. I think it can be/ and ideally will be a combo of rigor and relaxed. I call us neo-classical, classical unschoolers. We do some serious academic work, serious "house work" and serious interest directed work (in fact, we just re-vamped my Seniors last semester based on some interests) and serious whatever we want.

[daybreaking]

Thanks for these insights. When I think of doing a heavier course load I feel like drowning. I have no wish to do those things, and I have no real evidence that I need to do those things yet! My daughter turns 2 in a few days, and I don't want to be overburdening myself with trying to keep up with a busy toddler AND a fast-paced first grade year. It doesn't seem worth the stress it would impose upon me or my family at this juncture.

 

I do not have any desire to burn out or get overly stressed at things that are not ultimately important, at this age. So I appreciate these insights and the encouragement that the world will not stop spinning if I follow my instincts. It is sometimes tricky when I look at my contemporaries (age-wise) in homeschooling, who are piling on the work for their younger children, and I cannot see the fruit of that yet (nor can I see the fruit of my approach).....the future seems quite unknown! It is almost like swimming against the tide because all of my homeschooling friends are pretty ambitious with their courses in the early years.

 

I'm a strong swimmer, though....

 

I have a friend who starts early. All of her children were reading by Kindergarten. In 1st grade, she started Latin, as well as having them writing essays. The oldest still loves to learn, but the next three in line answer a resounding "No!" when asked by others if they like school. They've achieved, but to me, it's been at the cost of the joy of learning. I remember feeling the pressure like you, but I am so glad I retuned to my instincts. In K, we did hands on math, a few minutes of learning to read and some basic handwriting. We also did tons of read alouds. In 1st grade, my ds would have been considered behind in regards to reading. I'm so glad I didn't panic, especially when my friend would share her children's achievements. I am thankful I stayed at my ds's pace ... with no pressure or tears, by the end of second grade, he soared and his reading comprehension was at the post high school level and many other subjects were at high school level. He's now 10 and still loves to read, loves homeschooling and loves learning. He's constantly devouring history and science books and has learned more on his own than I ever could have forced on him in the early grades.

 

Other than copywork and dictation, we did very little writing until about halfway through third grade and they just a bit. Before then, writing would bring tears. I felt the pressure to push, but I am so very glad I recognized my ds just wasn't ready. We waited, while continuing with the copywork/dictation and this year something happened and he absolutely loves to write and will, on his own initiative, spend considerable time putting together reports, essays, journals, stories, etc. If I had pushed him earlier, I think he would probably hate writing now. Instead, he often expresses how he loves to write and often writes much more than I require!

 

I will admit we have a much fuller schedule now (sometimes I think too full!), but I have never regretted being more relaxed in the early years. I am also grateful at the relationship he and his sister, who was one when he started K, have developed. If I had done an intense K or 1 year with him, I would have lost precious time with her and they would have had much less time to build the solid friendship they now have. HTH

[Down_the_Rabbit_Hole]

My oldest 2 were my Guinea pigs. I was strict, we had schedules, and everything had to get done. There curriculum was mostly textbooks.They did get a great education but there was no love of learning, it was school plain and simple. However it burned me out. I started reading about other ways to homeschool and I lightened up.

 

My youngest has benefited from a relaxed homeschool environment. Lots of play time, lots of read alouds, lots of hands on exploration. We spend great quantities of time outside in all types of weather, nature study has more benefits then can be named. I have areas set up around the house with art supplies and science supplies for her to use at will. Weekly library trips has her choosing books about topics she wants to study We still have a schedule for school but it is more an order of the subjects not the time we spend. I make sure we have short lessons with lots of play time between sessions. From what I see it works just as well as the regimented days I use to do, in fact I feel we cover more in less time. Around 5th grade we will get more structured.

[Kathy in Richmond]

Thank you so much for this!! Your list of activities (miquon, read alouds, games, grandparents, parks, etc) are basically what I strive to do and love doing. I am much assured, to be honest, by this post and the others. It is so nice to hear from the 'other side' of homeschooling--years down the line.

 

At what age did you ramp it up? Later elementary, as the children matured? I am assuming this actually happens in a somewhat organic fashion, as the child becomes more able to do certain things and more interested in certain topics. Did you follow a curriculum then, or create your own based on each child? (I ask this b/c I can already see the writing on the wall re: my eldest. He's a mathy, spatially-inclined engineer type like my husband. I don't know about my dd yet, she's not quite 2 :).....but it is clear that my son will be inclined to the maths/sciences. I want him to be well-rounded no matter what! I see in your sig that you have at least one child who was probably like this--your eldest--so I'm curious how homeschooling takes shape in that case.)

 

 

I too drew a lot of my homeschool inspirations from the Moores and the Colfax family, but also from John Holt's writings, Marva Collins, and Rebecca Rupp's Home Learning Source book (I love, love Rebecca Ruff!! She made me want to homeschool my kids). My kids are advanced & capable learners, and they were generally willing to do what I assigned, but they were also the creative, playful type of children, and I didn't want them to ever lose that quality. And I absolutely believe that children learn more from imaginative play and games than from curriculum in the early years. Curriculum is limiting, but imagination and problem-solving are open-ended and limitless.

 

My primary goal was to keep the love of learning alive; my specific plans followed from that goal. So, we did a lot more enriching than accelerating at first. I tried very hard to set a good example by finding areas I wanted to study myself (fun for me, too :D). Establishing good personal habits and family dynamics in the elementary years was another biggie project/goal.

 

Yes, the ramping up in school work occurred gradually over the years. My son was in public school through grade 5, and while it was a terrific program academically, he was starting to burn out from the lengthy assignments and busy work. So we went through a fairly fun and relaxed 6th grade year to allow him time to recover a love of learning. I let him start algebra since he was on track to do so at the public school & was an eager math lover, and I let him study the foreign language of his choice. He'd been exposed to several languages in public school & picked Latin (of course, one I knew nothing about!). So we were serious textbook learners in those two subjects from the start of middle school. For history & literature, we followed the WTM book lists. I was confident in teaching math & science, but really appreciated Susan and Jessie's help in history, lit, and Latin! We did a lot of the reading aloud as a family; our discussions were fun, but writing was like pulling teeth. Eventually we fell into a system where he'd work on one piece of writing at a time across the curriculum (instead of lots of little writing assignments). Grammar was a subject we did for only part of the year during middle school since he picked up a lot through his Latin studies. Library trips occurred every Friday morning & we piled up a great assortment of books weekly. I took Jessie Wise's advice to get various types of nonfiction as well as the child's choice of fiction for free reading. He spent as much time as he wanted on Boy Scout activities, campouts, and badges & also chess team at the local middle school and youth activities at our church. We sampled a few contests (AMC math, CTY talent search, and MathCounts) in grade 7 and 8. Since they were hits with him, we incorporated those into our high school years as well, adding in computer olympiad stuff. As high school dawned, I got more serious about outsourcing a bit of his work. He was my homebody & perfectly content and willing to work at home for me. But I saw the need to gradually nudge him into the world of others, and we found AoPS math, Write @ Home writing classes, and PA Homeschooler AP classes during the last three years. He never did more than one of those at a time. Summer math camps were a huge hit, too, in high school, and worth it because he found many good, lasting friends there in addition to the fun learning.

 

I wrote more about the specifics of our science and math journeys, including curriculum choices when we moved in those directions, in the middle school years in this thread and in the high school years here. My approach to problem solving (in math/sci and in life) is described well by Richard Rusczyk of the Art of Problem Solving in this lecture he gave in 2009 at the Math Prize for Girls (i was lucky enough to be in the audience and chat with him afterwards) - I highly recommend it!~

[pehp]

I too drew a lot of my homeschool inspirations from the Moores and the Colfax family, but also from John Holt's writings, Marva Collins, and Rebecca Rupp's Home Learning Source book (I love, love Rebecca Ruff!! She made me want to homeschool my kids). My kids are advanced & capable learners, and they were generally willing to do what I assigned, but they were also the creative, playful type of children, and I didn't want them to ever lose that quality. And I absolutely believe that children learn more from imaginative play and games than from curriculum in the early years. Curriculum is limiting, but imagination and problem-solving is open-ended and limitless.

 

My primary goal was to keep the love of learning alive; my specific plans followed from that goal. So, we did a lot more enriching than accelerating at first. I tried very hard to set a good example by finding areas I wanted to study myself (fun for me, too :D). Establishing good personal habits and family dynamics in the elementary years was another biggie project/goal.

 

Yes, the ramping up in school work occurred gradually over the years. My son was in public school through grade 5, and while it was a terrific program academically, he was starting to burn out from the lengthy assignments and busy work. So we went through a fairly fun and relaxed 6th grade year to allow him time to recover a love of learning. I let him start algebra since he was on track to do so at the public school & was an eager math lover, and I let him study the foreign language of his choice. He'd been exposed to several languages in public school & picked Latin (of course, one I knew nothing about!). So we were serious textbook learners in those two subjects from the start of middle school. For history & literature, we followed the WTM book lists. I was confident in teaching math & science, but really appreciated Susan and Jessie's help in history, lit, and Latin! We did a lot of the reading aloud as a family; our discussions were fun, but writing was like pulling teeth. Eventually we fell into a system where he'd work on one piece of writing at a time across the curriculum (instead of lots of little writing assignments). Grammar was a subject we did for only part of the year during middle school since he picked up a lot through his Latin studies. Library trips occurred every Friday morning & we piled up a great assortment of books weekly. I took Jessie Wise's advice to get various types of nonfiction as well as the child's choice of fiction for free reading. He spent as much time as he wanted on Boy Scout activities, campouts, and badges & also chess team at the local middle school and youth activities at our church. We sampled a few contests (AMC math, CTY talent search, and MathCounts) in grade 7 and 8. Since they were hits with him, we incorporated those into our high school years as well, adding in computer olympiad stuff. As high school dawned, I got more serious about outsourcing a bit of his work. He was my homebody & perfectly content and willing to work at home for me. But I saw the need to gradually nudge him into the world of others, and we found AoPS math, Write @ Home writing classes, and PA Homeschooler AP classes during the last three years. He never did more than one of those at a time. Summer math camps were a huge hit, too, in high school, and worth it because he found many good, lasting friends there in addition to the fun learning.

 

I wrote more about the specifics of our science and math journeys, including curriculum choices when we moved in those directions, in the middle school years in this thread and in the high school years here. My approach to problem solving (in math/sci and in life) is described well by Richard Rusczyk of the Art of Problem Solving in this lecture he gave in 2009 at the Math Prize for Girls (i was lucky enough to be in the audience and chat with him afterwards) - I highly recommend it!~

 

I just watched/listened to Rusczyk's lecture while folding laundry. It was great--thank you so much for referring me to it. Two things stood out in my mind as I listened: 1) with younger students he recommends READ and PLAY (love that) and 2) near the end of the lecture he essentially tells parents to cast a wide net of activities/interests for their children. I think this is so true because you never know what will be The Spark......

 

I've got marva collins' book packed away somewhere (we're about to embark on home renovations right now)--I can't wait to unpack all my books and read that one. I've reserved Rebecca Rupp's book from the library.

 

This is so useful for me--lots of resonating with your thoughts (like the focus on establishing habits and family dynamics!! I have said from the get-go that we have to establish our relationships *first* before I try to tackle the nitty gritty of schooling. So far, so good.)

 

Thank you.

[pehp]

I have a friend who starts early. All of her children were reading by Kindergarten. In 1st grade, she started Latin, as well as having them writing essays. The oldest still loves to learn, but the next three in line answer a resounding "No!" when asked by others if they like school. They've achieved, but to me, it's been at the cost of the joy of learning. I remember feeling the pressure like you, but I am so glad I retuned to my instincts. In K, we did hands on math, a few minutes of learning to read and some basic handwriting. We also did tons of read alouds. In 1st grade, my ds would have been considered behind in regards to reading. I'm so glad I didn't panic, especially when my friend would share her children's achievements. I am thankful I stayed at my ds's pace ... with no pressure or tears, by the end of second grade, he soared and his reading comprehension was at the post high school level and many other subjects were at high school level. He's now 10 and still loves to read, loves homeschooling and loves learning. He's constantly devouring history an science books and has learned more on his own than I ever could have forced on him in the early grades.

 

Other than copywork and dictation, we did very little writing until about halfway through third grade and they just a bit. Before then, writing would bring tears. I felt the pressure to push, but I am so very glad I recognized my ds just wasn't ready. We waited, while continuing with the copywork/dictation and this year something happened and he absolutely loves to write and will, on his own initiative, spend considerable time putting together reports, essays, journals, stories, etc. If I had pushed him earlier, I think he would probably hate writing now. Instead, he often expresses how he loves to write and often writes much more than I require!

 

I will admit we have a much fuller schedule now (sometimes I think too full!), but I have never regretted being more relaxed in the early years. I am also grateful at the relationship he and his sister, who was one when he started K, have developed. If I had done an intense K or 1 year with him, I would have lost precious time with her and they would have had much less time to build the solid friendship they now have. HTH

 

I have observed the exact same thing in two different friends who definitely do way more formal work than I do at this stage. One child gave me a litany of the subjects he 'hates' in school. Granted, some children are just negative...but I sensed that school was more duty than anything else. There's a place in life for duty, but I don't want my 6 year old rolling his eyes at me because he is burdened by the 'duty' of learning!!!

[pehp]

I've read the authors you mentioned (and a few more here) and laugh. Have you read Colfax's Hard Times in Paradise? They were the original Hard Work U. Part of their life involved doing hard core problem solving to save the family farm, trig to build the family house and biz to run the family biz. Lot's of folks call them unschoolers, but only in the traditional sense of the word- not in the way the word is bandied about now.

I've always done phonics instruction around 5, we do a lot of memory work. We listen to a lot of CD's, books out loud and ed videos. There are lots of crafts, a lot of outside play- tramp/pool and acerage romping/walks and nature observation- along with and free time to play, color, think, read, write, toys, etc. We also do math, Miquon books, tons of mazes and dot- to -dots, and copywork. I think it can be/ and ideally will be a combo of rigor and relaxed. I call us neo-classical, classical unschoolers. We do some serious academic work, serious "house work" and serious interest directed work (in fact, we just re-vamped my Seniors last semester based on some interests) and serious whatever we want.

 

Yes!!! Makes me grateful not be homesteading (my husband would love that, but I'm not cut out for it).

 

On the other hand, my son and husband are building a CNC router from scratch, themselves (obviously my husband does most of the work--son is an apprentice but I'm amazed at what he's learning). Once it is done, our son will learn to make wooden items with the router to sell. And we do live on a farm(ette) & son has already asked for chickens....I'm not sure I'm 'there' yet mentally. Maybe when my daughter is 4.... !!!

[laughing lioness]

 

Yes!!! Makes me grateful not be homesteading (my husband would love that, but I'm not cut out for it).

 

On the other hand, my son and husband are building a CNC router from scratch, themselves (obviously my husband does most of the work--son is an apprentice but I'm amazed at what he's learning). Once it is done, our son will learn to make wooden items with the router to sell. And we do live on a farm(ette) & son has already asked for chickens....I'm not sure I'm 'there' yet mentally. Maybe when my daughter is 4.... !!!

 

 

We've been living the modified version of Hard Times since our house fire. It's been interesting and challenging. Our kids now have a lot of carpentry skills, but more important they know how to figure out some difficult challenges. Really, it's just so darn hard to figure it all out- what will work for some kids, others will resent, what inspires one to greater maturity, will push another into selfish naval gazing.....The longer I homeschool and the older my kids get, the less I have anything figured out.

[Woodland Mist Academy]

Really, it's just so darn hard to figure it all out- what will work for some kids, others will resent, what inspires one to greater maturity, will push another into selfish naval gazing.....

 

I think this is worth repeating. There is no single formula that works for every child.

[Runningmom80]

I'm so relieved to read this. I'm going to book mark it. I get concerned every once in a while that we aren't doing enough, but knowing my DS, what he needs is to love learning right now. Hopefully that will lead to rigor in the later grades.

 

Thank you everyone who has posted, and to the OP for starting the thread.