Telling my 6yo about the birds and the bees...

[blondeviolin]

I knew I should have paid attention to all of these discussions. My 6yo knows that Mommy gives a cell and Daddy gives a cell, but she recently asked me how that happens. I told her we'd talk about it when we weren't driving in the car. I don't want to wait too long to tell her. I also don't want to tell her more than she needs to know. I'm planning on sitting down with just her to talk. Are there any good books about this appropriate for a 6.5yo?

 

What do I do?!

[Farrar]

It's Not the Stork.

[Melissa in Australia]

When I was a child my mother had a book called where did I come from http://www.angusrobertson.com.au/book/where-did-i-come-from/4046839/ It was great, though I always found it funny that the picture of the spe**m had a top hat on.

 

for my own children, we live in a rural property, we have animals. We do things like take the house-cow to the bull and things like that, there has always been many opportunities to give tour children all the information they know at an age appropriate level.

[skeeterbug]

It's Not the Stork.

 

This looks great!

 

The usborne Flip-Flap Body Book has a section on babies, it is not very detailed so easy to use as a discussion starter.

 

If you are Christian, The Story of Me and Before I Was Born. Very detailed.

[jujsky]

I couldn't find a book I liked. DS was 5 when we had the talk (he'd been asking me since he was 3 and his questions became increasingly more pointed). He took it well -- very matter-of-factly. I explained that he was not to discuss this with his sister or any of his friends because a child has to show they're ready to know by asking their parents, and it's the parents' job to tell them. He never told DD.

 

DD was 7 when she started asking very specific, pointed questions. I explained it to her and she was HORRIFIED! "You mean....you....and Papa.....did THAT? Ewwwwwwwww! That's disgusting! Don't tell me any more about it ever again!" and she covered her ears and didn't want to hear anything else about it! :rofl:

[somo_chickenlady]

Where Did I Come From? by Peter Mayle

 

My mom gave me this book when I was about that age, and I gave it to DS around the same time. He also has a book called "What is Happening to Me?" which covers puberty, which is great. I think this book tells just enough for a child to understand, but doesn't go into too much gory details, if that makes sense.

[Joanne]

Just tell her. I'd encourage you to not think of "not telling her more than she needs to know." We tell kids stuff all the time they don't "need to know": politics, God, relationships, housekeeping, money.........

 

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"DD, nature (God, whatever) made grown up men and women to make babies. When you grow up, you'll feel it in your body that you want to be with your husband this way. Men make part of what makes a baby in their body. Women's bodies make the other part. The way the parts get together is that the man puts __________ in the woman's _________. The part from the man, called _________ comes out and enters the women's body. If there is an egg, the ________and egg meet, and begin to grow into a baby which grows until birth in the mommy's uterous. It looks like her belly, but it is a special female body part that is where babies grow."

 

It would also be an appropriate time to explain menstruation.

[Farrar]

Just tell her. I'd encourage you to not think of "not telling her more than she needs to know." We tell kids stuff all the time they don't "need to know": politics, God, relationships, housekeeping, money.........

 

{altered to reduce search engine issues}

 

"DD, nature (God, whatever) made grown up men and women to make babies. When you grow up, you'll feel it in your body that you want to be with your husband this way. Men make part of what makes a baby in their body. Women's bodies make the other part. The way the parts get together is that the man puts __________ in the woman's _________. The part from the man, called _________ comes out and enters the women's body. If there is an egg, the ________and egg meet, and begin to grow into a baby which grows until birth in the mommy's uterous. It looks like her belly, but it is a special female body part that is where babies grow."

 

It would also be an appropriate time to explain menstruation.

 

This is more or less how we've handled it. No nonsense. The one thing I would personally do differently is saying about how when she grows up she'll want to be with her husband that way. For two reasons, first we've always used neutral language with our kids about their s*xuality, so I usually say things like "someone else." Obviously, we're talking about making babies here, but it still implies something about s*xuality - so just not how we phrase things.

 

The other reason is that I did put it that way and it FREAKED out my ds. He thought it was kinda gross that that's how babies are made, but he was basically okay with it. What he wasn't okay with was the idea that he thought it was gross NOW but that one day his body would change and that would be totally out of his control, and he would actually want to do something along those lines with someone else. That was really scary. So if I could go back and do-over, I would have left that line out and not addressed it unless he specifically asked.

[celticmom]

I couldn't find a book I liked. DS was 5 when we had the talk (he'd been asking me since he was 3 and his questions became increasingly more pointed). He took it well -- very matter-of-factly. I explained that he was not to discuss this with his sister or any of his friends because a child has to show they're ready to know by asking their parents, and it's the parents' job to tell them. He never told DD.

 

DD was 7 when she started asking very specific, pointed questions. I explained it to her and she was HORRIFIED! "You mean....you....and Papa.....did THAT? Ewwwwwwwww! That's disgusting! Don't tell me any more about it ever again!" and she covered her ears and didn't want to hear anything else about it! :rofl:

 

I have not had this discussion yet with dd8 because I am almost certain that she will have this reaction. She told me that weddings are gross because the bride and groom kiss. I may try getting a book for her sometime soon so she can pick it up when she is curious and put it down when she becomes uncomfortable.

[Hypatia.]

We got "It's Not the Stork" for our kids and it has been a good resource so far. DS1 read through it and would bring it to me and ask questions about different parts. Then about 3 months ago he explained menstruation to his 6.5 year old sister when she mentioned it offhand one day, I was sitting right beside them and overall he gave a good explanation. They have a much better grasp of it than I did when I was several years older.

[Spryte]

 

This is more or less how we've handled it. No nonsense. The one thing I would personally do differently is saying about how when she grows up she'll want to be with her husband that way. For two reasons, first we've always used neutral language with our kids about their s*xuality, so I usually say things like "someone else." Obviously, we're talking about making babies here, but it still implies something about s*xuality - so just not how we phrase things.

 

The other reason is that I did put it that way and it FREAKED out my ds. He thought it was kinda gross that that's how babies are made, but he was basically okay with it. What he wasn't okay with was the idea that he thought it was gross NOW but that one day his body would change and that would be totally out of his control, and he would actually want to do something along those lines with someone else. That was really scary. So if I could go back and do-over, I would have left that line out and not addressed it unless he specifically asked.

 

We've gone with a similar approach, also coupled with the book It's Not the Stork. Great book!

 

My DS reacted similarly to the above story, and I do think I'd approach that differently, too. It is somewhat funny, now, to remember the silence as he thought for a moment, flipping through the book, and then said, "You mean I'll have to learn to do this?? How will I learn?"

 

Overall, though, we just keep all talks on this topic very neutral, matter of fact.

[Laura Corin]

I knew I should have paid attention to all of these discussions. My 6yo knows that Mommy gives a cell and Daddy gives a cell, but she recently asked me how that happens. I told her we'd talk about it when we weren't driving in the car. I don't want to wait too long to tell her. I also don't want to tell her more than she needs to know. I'm planning on sitting down with just her to talk. Are there any good books about this appropriate for a 6.5yo?

 

What do I do?!

 

I started off answering the questions very simply and stopped telling when they stopped asking. Something like this:

 

How do the cells meet up?

The daddy puts his cell inside the mummy and they meet up in her body

How does he put it inside?

He puts his willy in the mummy's v---- and the cell, called a sperm, swims up inside and meets the mummy's cell, which is called an egg.

Really?

Yes. Does that seem strange?

Yes.

It's a fun and loving thing to do. Mummies and daddies like doing it

 

As far as books: we used It's So Amazing, but I'd wait a year or two - there's probably too much information in it for now.

 

Laura

[6packofun]

Where Did I Come From? by Peter Mayle

 

My mom gave me this book when I was about that age, and I gave it to DS around the same time. He also has a book called "What is Happening to Me?" which covers puberty, which is great. I think this book tells just enough for a child to understand, but doesn't go into too much gory details, if that makes sense.

 

Unless a weird (and unnecessary, IMO) description of org*sm and thrusting and such is too much; then it might be too graphic for some. lol