mazakaal Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 8yo ds said his ear hurt yesterday at noon-ish, so I gave him some Tylenol, and he seemed fine the rest of the day. Before bed he asked for more Tylenol because his ear still hurt he said. He just woke up and said his ear still hurts. Dh wants to make him go to church on the premise that he acted fine yesterday. I want to keep him home. Wwyd? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pippen Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 As a survivor of many, many ear infections, I would give him Tylenol again and reevaluate in 30 minutes. If it's still hurting I would keep him home as loud noises can be very difficult when you have an ear infection. One contingent--no staying home to avoid noise/activity if he's going to be in the midst of noise/activity at the festivities at home. Can't have it both ways. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mazakaal Posted December 23, 2012 Author Share Posted December 23, 2012 Well, I didn't have 30 minutes spare. I've kept him home and dh is not happy. Dh is the pastor and had to leave the house at 9am to make sure that he gets there on time, especially since there is flooding on the roads. I'm not going to give it time and bring him separately because it's over 50 miles each way (an hour and a quarter driving) and we just can't afford to spend the money on petrol for 2 cars. Dh is upset because it's our church's Christmas service and thinks we should all be there. I'm upset because I think the kids' health comes first. Not that him going to church would make the illness any worse, but that if he's feeling ill, nearly 3 hours in the car and hanging around the church for 4 hours (set-up, church service, tear-down) is really just terribly unpleasant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 Whenever I get whatever sickness the kids had earlier in the week, I am reminded why it's important to give grace when the kids complain of being sick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lanny Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 IMHO you did the proper thing, by keeping him home. First, he may have pain. Second, he may have a contagious infection. Third, the stress of the long drive back and forth and the time away from home might make his problem worse. If it continues, take him to a doctor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JessReplanted Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 Well, I didn't have 30 minutes spare. I've kept him home and dh is not happy. Dh is the pastor and had to leave the house at 9am to make sure that he gets there on time, especially since there is flooding on the roads. I'm not going to give it time and bring him separately because it's over 50 miles each way (an hour and a quarter driving) and we just can't afford to spend the money on petrol for 2 cars. Dh is upset because it's our church's Christmas service and thinks we should all be there. I'm upset because I think the kids' health comes first. Not that him going to church would make the illness any worse, but that if he's feeling ill, nearly 3 hours in the car and hanging around the church for 4 hours (set-up, church service, tear-down) is really just terribly unpleasant. You did the right thing. My husband was the lead pastor of a church plant for 4 years, and we dealt with this issue many times. Your child's health is more important than church attendance. It's also important not to share your son's germs (if he's contagious). And, something else to consider is your's child's heart - you don't want him growing up resenting church because he had to go there even when he was sick. ((hugs)) I know it's hard to stay home when your husband disagrees. My husband eventually came around and realized that the expectations he had placed on me were just ridiculous. I hope your son is feeling better soon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momofeat Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 I think you did the right thing, too. Next time you're in a questionable illness vs. sick situation, do you think you could wake the potentially sick child earlier? That way, you have enough time to evaluate before making a decision. My dh is not a pastor, but we do volunteer on Sunday mornings, and we do live far enough away from our church that we cannot drive separately. We've had to make this call many, many times. Ds(6) gets overtired and has tummy troubles. We've finally accepted that when he feels bad, we've got to keep him home and let him rest--even if it happens to hit on a Sunday. Actually, it's happening today. He's had the flu and is definitely on the mend (it's been over 2 weeks since he first got sick), but we've decided not to expose him to everyone else.) Dh used to push harder for us to go anyway, but now he often encourages me to keep him home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 Just a note...I'd switch to Children's Advil. The pain from ear infections is usually due to swelling and Advil is an anti-inflamatory. Tylenol will offer some relief but Advil will work much better and for longer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 Did your husband believe your son had pain? Does your son have any history of wanting to "get out of going" to church? Perhaps your hubby was disappointed that not everyone in the fam could be there for the Christmas service. Disappointment can express itself as miff-ed-ness. (Look! a new word!) Hope you are all feeling better soon. (I think you did the right thing, btw.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mazakaal Posted December 23, 2012 Author Share Posted December 23, 2012 Did your husband believe your son had pain? Does your son have any history of wanting to "get out of going" to church? Perhaps your hubby was disappointed that not everyone in the fam could be there for the Christmas service. Disappointment can express itself as miff-ed-ness. (Look! a new word!) Hope you are all feeling better soon. (I think you did the right thing, btw.) Ds doesn't often try to get out of going to church, but he certainly doesn't relish the experience of going. Dh has been pastoring this church for over a year after the previous pastor just up and left, so the whole thing has been more of a chore than a calling for the rest of the family, if that makes sense. So, yeah, dh was already touchy about the issue, but he was this way at our last church too, which was one that we planted. He expects us all to be at church every week no matter what. I was teaching Sunday school days after giving birth. He got cranky when I wanted to stay in my bedroom instead of play hostess at the weekly church dinner at my house just days after a d&c for miscarriage. I thought I was being incredibly self-sacrificing by not cancelling the meal. He thought I should be downstairs with everyone. It's just his way. He really needs to get some perspective, but I can't force him to change. Thanks everyone for the encouragement. I'm glad to hear I'm wasn't off base. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mytwomonkeys Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 i would keep him home too. no qualms about it. hugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 Dh was like that too when we first got married. I had to practically smack him with his selfishness before he saw the error of his ways. It was not pretty. But he has changed. Good luck to you. For what it is worth I think you did the right thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 I would have kept him home too. Earaches are very painful. He would not be able to play or run around if he is home, but tree is no reason to make him suffer through anything with an earache. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 I would keep him home. Earaches are really miserable, and I don't want my kids at church feeling miserable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meggie Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 Well, my son does have an earache and we're staying home from church. My husband works on Sundays so it's just me and the kids going to church. And so when one of us is sick, we all have to stay home. So we're all missing the Christmas service. Health comes first. I'm fairly certain my son has an ear infection though. He was up all night crying, very unlike him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 Just a note...I'd switch to Children's Advil. The pain from ear infections is usually due to swelling and Advil is an anti-inflamatory. Tylenol will offer some relief but Advil will work much better and for longer. :iagree: :iagree: :iagree: :iagree: :iagree: And (((hugs))) The poor kid would have suffered with the trip and long day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Yell Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 Ds doesn't often try to get out of going to church, but he certainly doesn't relish the experience of going. Dh has been pastoring this church for over a year after the previous pastor just up and left, so the whole thing has been more of a chore than a calling for the rest of the family, if that makes sense. So, yeah, dh was already touchy about the issue, but he was this way at our last church too, which was one that we planted. He expects us all to be at church every week no matter what. I was teaching Sunday school days after giving birth. He got cranky when I wanted to stay in my bedroom instead of play hostess at the weekly church dinner at my house just days after a d&c for miscarriage. I thought I was being incredibly self-sacrificing by not cancelling the meal. He thought I should be downstairs with everyone. It's just his way. He really needs to get some perspective, but I can't force him to change. Thanks everyone for the encouragement. I'm glad to hear I'm wasn't off base. :grouphug: There was another post around here about keeping kids home- who were important members of the choir or something- they had stomach bugs. It was unanimous that the kids missing was a GOOD thing for everyone. If your church was 10 mins away and less than 1hr service, I might say to have the kid go. But your very log drive and extra time/responsibilites would be an absolute no for a sick child. I'm saying this very gently and with concern: I'm concerned about the example your DH is setting for the congregation. If he expects HIS family to be there no matter what, other families are likely to follow his lead. Of course church attendance is important- but rest is important to recovery. And keeping sick germs away from others is not only a great idea- it's in the Bible. Perhaps gently suggest DH review the OT verses regarding quarantine for sickness? I hope your young man feels better soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 IMHO you did the proper thing, by keeping him home. First, he may have pain. Second, he may have a contagious infection. Third, the stress of the long drive back and forth and the time away from home might make his problem worse. If it continues, take him to a doctor. I agree with all of the above! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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