Can you post

[dancer67]

anonymously? Or do you have to post under your screen name? Asking because I have a lot of nosy people who like to poke their nose in and follow me around.(IRL)

[PrincessMommy]

I'm sorry but I don't think you can. I know of a couple of other people who have been followed here. One changed her screenname to something very different and got rid of most of her siggy information. For me I'm shocked that people do this kind of thing. When I first heard about someone being stalked over to here it made me take a pause and consider my online presence.

[dancer67]

I'm sorry but I don't think you can. I know of a couple of other people who have been followed here. One changed her screenname to something very different and got rid of most of her siggy information. For me I'm shocked that people do this kind of thing. When I first heard about someone being stalked over to here it made me take a pause and consider my online presence.

 

Do you know if I change my screen name, that I will still have the same amount of posts? Unfortunately, yes there are people IRL who love to stalk you. Sounds to me they don't have a life, or a very unhappy one.

[Scarlett]

Do you know if I change my screen name, that I will still have the same amount of posts? Unfortunately, yes there are people IRL who love to stalk you. Sounds to me they don't have a life, or a very unhappy one.

 

If someone is stalking you, changing your screen name will not really help you. You will have to creat a new one and start over. That is a real pain....but I use this board for things I don't want to discuss on FB so remaining anonymous is important to me.

[Liz CA]

Do you know if I change my screen name, that I will still have the same amount of posts? Unfortunately, yes there are people IRL who love to stalk you. Sounds to me they don't have a life, or a very unhappy one.

 

Yes, people have just done it when the board changed over. Contact a moderator and request a change. I would leave off other identifiers such as children's names or location unless it's metropolitan area.

[Scarlett]

Yes, people have just done it when the board changed over. Contact a moderator and request a change. I would leave off other identifiers such as children's names or location unless it's metropolitan area.

 

I think if someone wants to they can tie the two together. ? I'd like to know if that is the case or not.

[VaKim]

Do you know if I change my screen name, that I will still have the same amount of posts? Unfortunately, yes there are people IRL who love to stalk you. Sounds to me they don't have a life, or a very unhappy one.

If you click on your name and go to "my settings," you can change your display name yourself. However, there will be a link on your profile page where people can see what your old name is. If the people who would be looking for you don't have any idea what your new name is, it would be quite the job to figure out without looking through all the members on here, I'd think.

[Liz CA]

I am now a little perplexed. I scrolled to the bottom of a thread and it showed several names following the thread and it said "7 anonymous users".

So we have people here anonymously? How come?

[goldberry]

I am now a little perplexed. I scrolled to the bottom of a thread and it showed several names following the thread and it said "7 anonymous users".

So we have people here anonymously? How come?

 

 

There is an option when you sign in to click (sign in anonymously) and then your name will not show up at the bottom where it lists everyone who is online or on a certain thread.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I am now a little perplexed. I scrolled to the bottom of a thread and it showed several names following the thread and it said "7 anonymous users".

So we have people here anonymously? How come?

 

 

I'm anonymous. It doesn't mean that you can't see that what I write is from me. It means that you can't scroll to the very bottom of the page to see if I'm online or looking at a particular thread. I did it because I had a stalker here who was following me around and commenting on everything I was doing here. Others do it simply for a bit more privacy while in lurking mode.

[dancer67]

(((sigh))..okay. Well, people I know will go to great lengths to find me, and see if I am talking about them. So even if there was a way of linking the two names together, I will still be found. Unfortunately, I think it is sad and pathetic to have IRL people stalk you and and see if you are talking about them. Guess that is going to have to be their problem and not mine.

[Parrothead]

There is an option when you sign in to click (sign in anonymously) and then your name will not show up at the bottom where it lists everyone who is online or on a certain thread.

 

I'm here anonymously.

[Parrothead]

(((sigh))..okay. Well, people I know will go to great lengths to find me, and see if I am talking about them. So even if there was a way of linking the two names together, I will still be found. Unfortunately, I think it is sad and pathetic to have IRL people stalk you and and see if you are talking about them. Guess that is going to have to be their problem and not mine.

 

Sweetie, you need to ditch these people, family or not. Get them the h-e-double-hockey-stick out. They so are not worth it.

[tabrizia]

Sweetie, you need to ditch these people, family or not. Get them the h-e-double-hockey-stick out. They so are not worth it.

 

 

:iagree: Or really just post what they are expecting you to be posting. Since really if they are paranoid to think you are trashing them on a homeschooling board, then they derserve it, and stop worrying about it.

[PrincessMommy]

(((sigh))..okay. Well, people I know will go to great lengths to find me, and see if I am talking about them. So even if there was a way of linking the two names together, I will still be found. Unfortunately, I think it is sad and pathetic to have IRL people stalk you and and see if you are talking about them. Guess that is going to have to be their problem and not mine.

 

 

I'm so sorry... that is just so pathetic (and petty and juvenile!!). I'm sorry their lives are so small that they feel the need to do this... and I'm sorry you are not the first person this has happened to. :grouphug:

[Liz CA]

I'm anonymous. It doesn't mean that you can't see that what I write is from me. It means that you can't scroll to the very bottom of the page to see if I'm online or looking at a particular thread. I did it because I had a stalker here who was following me around and commenting on everything I was doing here. Others do it simply for a bit more privacy while in lurking mode.

 

 

Ahhh. Geez, it's unbelievable how many people here have time to "stalk" someone. Thanks for clarifying this.

[dancer67]

Well the issue is my husband.First, he doesn't want me to post stuff on here because of what happened the last time. But I feel as if I have to vent somewehere. His mother trashed me something awful to him(Okay so if they are going to read, it is whatever because I am not speaking to any of his family anyways). She was planting "seeds" in his head so to speak. Her and I had a huge falling out in July and I let her have it. I told her to never call me again unless she had an apology for what she did(to long of a story). My DH went over to her home to try and speak with her and straighten things out, because he was pretty ticked off himself. But he is very calm about things, whereas I get really, really angry after a while and scream. This is what my MIL told him. She was not going to listen to me scream at her. And she was "concerned" for him, and is he really happy???She told him he deserves dinner every night, lunches made, and all of his laundry done when it should be. And that I need a job. And she said she loved him not matter what, and that she doesn't feel I am "ready" to make "amends" because that needs to be done on "fertile ground"....HUH??!!!???. (I am in no way looking to make amends after what was said about me)The problem lies now, where my husband knows she is wrong in what she did, but she still texts him(never used to do that before) to just say "Hi, just wanted to say I love you". And today is her birthday and my FIL calls yesterday for me to remind my husband it is her birthday, and it IS his mother and he should call her to wish her a Happy Birthday. After she trashed me to him, I feel as if he should just not even deal with her or any more BS from that side of the family. And this just doesn't involve me either. This also involved my kids. I know this sounds selfish, but I feel as if he textedher to wish her a Happy Birthday, he is condoning her behavior. I will not text her ANY happy birthday, even though DH says to be the "bigger" person. No, I am tired of that. After 30 years of being in the family, I finally find out exactly what she thinks about me. And when she ditched my kids, that was it for me. Okay, my rant is done.

[Scarlett]

Well the issue is my husband.First, he doesn't want me to post stuff on here because of what happened the last time. But I feel as if I have to vent somewehere. His mother trashed me something awful to him(Okay so if they are going to read, it is whatever because I am not speaking to any of his family anyways). She was planting "seeds" in his head so to speak. Her and I had a huge falling out in July and I let her have it. I told her to never call me again unless she had an apology for what she did(to long of a story). My DH went over to her home to try and speak with her and straighten things out, because he was pretty ticked off himself. But he is very calm about things, whereas I get really, really angry after a while and scream. This is what my MIL told him. She was not going to listen to me scream at her. And she was "concerned" for him, and is he really happy???She told him he deserves dinner every night, lunches made, and all of his laundry done when it should be. And that I need a job. And she said she loved him not matter what, and that she doesn't feel I am "ready" to make "amends" because that needs to be done on "fertile ground"....HUH??!!!???. (I am in no way looking to make amends after what was said about me)The problem lies now, where my husband knows she is wrong in what she did, but she still texts him(never used to do that before) to just say "Hi, just wanted to say I love you". And today is her birthday and my FIL calls yesterday for me to remind my husband it is her birthday, and it IS his mother and he should call her to wish her a Happy Birthday. After she trashed me to him, I feel as if he should just not even deal with her or any more BS from that side of the family. And this just doesn't involve me either. This also involved my kids. I know this sounds selfish, but I feel as if he textedher to wish her a Happy Birthday, he is condoning her behavior. I will not text her ANY happy birthday, even though DH says to be the "bigger" person. No, I am tired of that. After 30 years of being in the family, I finally find out exactly what she thinks about me. And when she ditched my kids, that was it for me. Okay, my rant is done.

 

 

:grouphug:

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

She told him he deserves dinner every night, lunches made, and all of his laundry done when it should be. And that I need a job.

 

:lol: I wonder if she realizes how hilariously bizarre these two assertions are. So does she expect him to hire a live-in housekeeper to accomplish this? Clearly she's nutso.

 

I remember your past posts about the big blowup. I keep hoping to see you post something about it all finally getting resolved, but I guess that's just not going happen, is it? I'm really sorry they're still giving you such a hard time.

 

:grouphug:

[Liz CA]

Well the issue is my husband.First, he doesn't want me to post stuff on here because of what happened the last time. But I feel as if I have to vent somewehere. His mother trashed me something awful to him(Okay so if they are going to read, it is whatever because I am not speaking to any of his family anyways). She was planting "seeds" in his head so to speak. Her and I had a huge falling out in July and I let her have it. I told her to never call me again unless she had an apology for what she did(to long of a story). My DH went over to her home to try and speak with her and straighten things out, because he was pretty ticked off himself. But he is very calm about things, whereas I get really, really angry after a while and scream. This is what my MIL told him. She was not going to listen to me scream at her. And she was "concerned" for him, and is he really happy???She told him he deserves dinner every night, lunches made, and all of his laundry done when it should be. And that I need a job. And she said she loved him not matter what, and that she doesn't feel I am "ready" to make "amends" because that needs to be done on "fertile ground"....HUH??!!!???. (I am in no way looking to make amends after what was said about me)The problem lies now, where my husband knows she is wrong in what she did, but she still texts him(never used to do that before) to just say "Hi, just wanted to say I love you". And today is her birthday and my FIL calls yesterday for me to remind my husband it is her birthday, and it IS his mother and he should call her to wish her a Happy Birthday. After she trashed me to him, I feel as if he should just not even deal with her or any more BS from that side of the family. And this just doesn't involve me either. This also involved my kids. I know this sounds selfish, but I feel as if he textedher to wish her a Happy Birthday, he is condoning her behavior. I will not text her ANY happy birthday, even though DH says to be the "bigger" person. No, I am tired of that. After 30 years of being in the family, I finally find out exactly what she thinks about me. And when she ditched my kids, that was it for me. Okay, my rant is done.

 

 

Yikes. It does feel like betrayal does it not? He can probably not quite understand it and it is his mother. So he is trying to pretend and mend fences. It's so hard for men to understand that they need to stand with their wives EVEN if it is mom.

So sorry you have to go through it. I hope it does not turn into bitterness on either side. Can you talk to your dh instead of him stalking you here on the board? That would seem more productive to me. But this is just MHO.

[Catwoman]

(((sigh))..okay. Well, people I know will go to great lengths to find me, and see if I am talking about them. So even if there was a way of linking the two names together, I will still be found. Unfortunately, I think it is sad and pathetic to have IRL people stalk you and and see if you are talking about them. Guess that is going to have to be their problem and not mine.

 

How do they even know that you're here? :confused:

 

If you value your privacy, you can't tell people about the forums you frequent... even your dh, if that's a concern for you.

[PrincessMommy]

Well the issue is my husband.First, he doesn't want me to post stuff on here because of what happened the last time. But I feel as if I have to vent somewehere. His mother trashed me something awful to him(Okay so if they are going to read, it is whatever because I am not speaking to any of his family anyways). She was planting "seeds" in his head so to speak. Her and I had a huge falling out in July and I let her have it. I told her to never call me again unless she had an apology for what she did(to long of a story). My DH went over to her home to try and speak with her and straighten things out, because he was pretty ticked off himself. But he is very calm about things, whereas I get really, really angry after a while and scream. This is what my MIL told him. She was not going to listen to me scream at her. And she was "concerned" for him, and is he really happy???She told him he deserves dinner every night, lunches made, and all of his laundry done when it should be. And that I need a job. And she said she loved him not matter what, and that she doesn't feel I am "ready" to make "amends" because that needs to be done on "fertile ground"....HUH??!!!???. (I am in no way looking to make amends after what was said about me)The problem lies now, where my husband knows she is wrong in what she did, but she still texts him(never used to do that before) to just say "Hi, just wanted to say I love you". And today is her birthday and my FIL calls yesterday for me to remind my husband it is her birthday, and it IS his mother and he should call her to wish her a Happy Birthday. After she trashed me to him, I feel as if he should just not even deal with her or any more BS from that side of the family. And this just doesn't involve me either. This also involved my kids. I know this sounds selfish, but I feel as if he textedher to wish her a Happy Birthday, he is condoning her behavior. I will not text her ANY happy birthday, even though DH says to be the "bigger" person. No, I am tired of that. After 30 years of being in the family, I finally find out exactly what she thinks about me. And when she ditched my kids, that was it for me. Okay, my rant is done.

 

I'm sorry she's like that. But, I do think it should be okay if he wishes her a happy birthday. Not saying he should go above and beyond that though.

 

And I'm also wondering how you're supposed to get a job AND do all the cooking (lunch and dinner) and laundry, etc. etc. :confused1: :confused1:

[dancer67]

First, let me clarify that my husband does not stalk me here on the boards. He knew I was ranting here because my BIL's girlfriend sent me a text message telling me she read all my posts, and that the internet isn't a "private place" .I am sure she even printed them out. It was my mistake to mention this board to my SIL a long time ago. The only way my BIL girlfriend would know about this board is through my SIL. So my husband told me to STOP posting about family issues here on the board because it just gives the in-laws more of a reason to justify that I am the troublemaker.

Because of the above, my DH's brother has firmly told my husband when he had to text him to tell him something, "You must have reached the wrong number because my brother is dead to me." How horrible!!!! I used to babysit his brother. He is several years younger then my husband and they were very close. Until his girlfriend came into the picture.

My DH decided NOT to text his mother and wish her a Happy Birthday. He said that he wants to just distance himself from the family as he has more important issues to deal with at this time.

Yes, I am sure some people know the background of what happened starting back 4 years ago with a big blow out on a family vacation. Things never really got resolved, and it just got worse and worse. I believe my MIL felt that I should have just let it go. And when I didn't, she would not admit she was wrong and now whe has herself backed in a corner. If she admits she was wrong, or apologizes to me, she runs the risk of losing her other two daughters. Her other two daughters just let it all go and didn't question things like I did. I wasn't about to shove all of this under the rug. Especially when my kids were not even asked to join them on their little family vacation this year. I was very angry, and I told my MIL that. it is one thing to exclude me and my DH. We would never, ever go on another family vacation with them again. But to me, it is wrong for my kids to see all of their cousins together for a whole week, as my BIL girlfriend was posting pictures of all the cousins on FB. My youngest daughter was hurt the most as she had always been close to two of her cousins that are close to her age. Whether my MIL chooses to believe it or not, she chose sides. She will never admit that. She took the whole family and their kids down to visit her daughter, and excluded my kids. I bluntly asked her what made her other kids children any better then her own sons kids???? She couldn't answer me. That is when I told her until she had an apology or a reason why she excluded our children when they all went on vacation, don't call me. She can talk all she wants about me. It makes me angry to think that is what she has thought about me for 30 years. But don't take it out on my kids.

And, I DO have a job. I help with my husbands business, homeschool and take care of the house. WHEN I GET TO IT. My husband does not have a problem with me not making his lunches. He understands I am busy with my youngest and I do the best I can. I have suffered from severe anxiety for years so sometimes doing things are a huge effort for me. And being that she is a nurse, you would think she would understand this. Apparently not.

Some things just cannot be fixed. Sometimes the damage is so severe you cannot go back. Since those words came out of her mouth to my husband, and she diitched our kids, I have no use for that kind of BS. Just because someone is blood, doesn't give them the right to treat you that way.

Thanks for letting me vent. At this point, I don't care who sees what or reads what. I have nothing to hide, and no agendas.

[Catwoman]

OH!!! NOW I REMEMBER!!!

 

I had completely forgotten what had happened to you until you just posted the recap. I remember that I thought your BIL's girlfriend was a meddling nutcase. (I'm not sure if I used those exact words, but I remember thinking she was a real idiot!!!)

 

Thanks for the reminder. And I'm glad you're not going to worry about who reads what you post. Honestly, if it was me, I'd probably intentionally make stuff up about them, just because I knew they might be reading what I posted.

 

But I'm kinda mean that way.

[Elinor Everywhere]

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

 

People who do not have (or respect) boundaries have no place in your life, and I don't blame you or your dh for cutting them out. I just hate that your kids are in the middle. Why do people like your mil not get this? Grrrrr.

[Elinor Everywhere]

OH!!! NOW I REMEMBER!!!

 

I had completely forgotten what had happened to you until you just posted the recap. I remember that I thought your BIL's girlfriend was a meddling nutcase. (I'm not sure if I used those exact words, but I remember thinking she was a real idiot!!!)

 

Thanks for the reminder. And I'm glad you're not going to worry about who reads what you post. Honestly, if it was me, I'd probably intentionally make stuff up about them, just because I knew they might be reading what I posted.

 

But I'm kinda mean that way.

 

 

You kill me. :lol: :lol: :lol:

[PrincessMommy]

First, let me clarify that my husband does not stalk me here on the boards. He knew I was ranting here because my BIL's girlfriend sent me a text message telling me she read all my posts, and that the internet isn't a "private place" .I am sure she even printed them out. It was my mistake to mention this board to my SIL a long time ago. The only way my BIL girlfriend would know about this board is through my SIL. So my husband told me to STOP posting about family issues here on the board because it just gives the in-laws more of a reason to justify that I am the troublemaker.

Because of the above, my DH's brother has firmly told my husband when he had to text him to tell him something, "You must have reached the wrong number because my brother is dead to me." How horrible!!!! I used to babysit his brother. He is several years younger then my husband and they were very close. Until his girlfriend came into the picture.

My DH decided NOT to text his mother and wish her a Happy Birthday. He said that he wants to just distance himself from the family as he has more important issues to deal with at this time.

Yes, I am sure some people know the background of what happened starting back 4 years ago with a big blow out on a family vacation. Things never really got resolved, and it just got worse and worse. I believe my MIL felt that I should have just let it go. And when I didn't, she would not admit she was wrong and now whe has herself backed in a corner. If she admits she was wrong, or apologizes to me, she runs the risk of losing her other two daughters. Her other two daughters just let it all go and didn't question things like I did. I wasn't about to shove all of this under the rug. Especially when my kids were not even asked to join them on their little family vacation this year. I was very angry, and I told my MIL that. it is one thing to exclude me and my DH. We would never, ever go on another family vacation with them again. But to me, it is wrong for my kids to see all of their cousins together for a whole week, as my BIL girlfriend was posting pictures of all the cousins on FB. My youngest daughter was hurt the most as she had always been close to two of her cousins that are close to her age. Whether my MIL chooses to believe it or not, she chose sides. She will never admit that. She took the whole family and their kids down to visit her daughter, and excluded my kids. I bluntly asked her what made her other kids children any better then her own sons kids???? She couldn't answer me. That is when I told her until she had an apology or a reason why she excluded our children when they all went on vacation, don't call me. She can talk all she wants about me. It makes me angry to think that is what she has thought about me for 30 years. But don't take it out on my kids.

And, I DO have a job. I help with my husbands business, homeschool and take care of the house. WHEN I GET TO IT. My husband does not have a problem with me not making his lunches. He understands I am busy with my youngest and I do the best I can. I have suffered from severe anxiety for years so sometimes doing things are a huge effort for me. And being that she is a nurse, you would think she would understand this. Apparently not.

Some things just cannot be fixed. Sometimes the damage is so severe you cannot go back. Since those words came out of her mouth to my husband, and she diitched our kids, I have no use for that kind of BS. Just because someone is blood, doesn't give them the right to treat you that way.

Thanks for letting me vent. At this point, I don't care who sees what or reads what. I have nothing to hide, and no agendas.

 

 

Totally agree with the bolded part. I remember your story about your SIL following you and printing out your posts.

[dancer67]

OH!!! NOW I REMEMBER!!!

 

I had completely forgotten what had happened to you until you just posted the recap. I remember that I thought your BIL's girlfriend was a meddling nutcase. (I'm not sure if I used those exact words, but I remember thinking she was a real idiot!!!)

 

Thanks for the reminder. And I'm glad you're not going to worry about who reads what you post. Honestly, if it was me, I'd probably intentionally make stuff up about them, just because I knew they might be reading what I posted.

 

But I'm kinda mean that way.

 

 

Catwoman,

I am pretty sure those were the words you used to describe her..... :laugh: And no, since I do not speak to any of them, I could care less what they read. The only thing they would say is "SEE???? She just can't keep her mouth shut. She really is a crazy person". Well, if I am crazy, then the rest of my DH's family is completely and utterly INSANE.

 

Making up intentional things??? Hmmmmmmmmmm...........................that could be fun. But based on what has happened so far with that family, it is just so ridiculous that I don't even HAVE to make anything up. They took care of that all on their own.

 

I have no use for people who use the Bible as a weapon, try to plant seeds in my husbands head to make him second guess his marriage, and ditch my kids. I wouldn't put up with that with any of my friends. Why should I put up with it because it is family. Wrong is wrong. Blood or not.

 

She says she will not call me because she will not be "screamed" at. That she would never allow any of her kids to do that to her. Really??? Another lie because I seem to recall her oldest daughter coming to live with me because they fought and my SIL yelled at her mother. And the youngest daughter screaming at her mother, and then running off to get married to some loser who physically abused her. She seems to forget things like that. I don't.

 

And don't tell me that I am your biological daughter for all these years, even though "I didn't physically give birth to you, but you are one of my children just like my other kids. You are ALL equal."

 

Really????????????????????????

 

I put my heart out there to her, and she stomped all over it. Good job MIL. it is bad enough to be ditched by your own mother. But to be in this family for 30 years, and her trying to convince me that she loves me equally as if I am her own child, and then talk like that about me? She is nuts if she thinks there will be ANY sort of amends made.

 

And she wonders why I screamed at her. She didn't listen the numerous times I tried telling her politely how I felt. I was at my breaking point.

 

It sure feels good to get this off my chest. :hurray:

[Catwoman]

I think you have a very healthy perspective on the whole situation.

 

You know they're nuts. They've hurt you in the past and you're not going to allow them to do it again.

 

GOOD FOR YOU!!! :thumbup:

[dancer67]

I think you have a very healthy perspective on the whole situation.

 

You know they're nuts. They've hurt you in the past and you're not going to allow them to do it again.

 

GOOD FOR YOU!!! :thumbup:

 

 

 

No I won't.

 

And hey, thanks for letting me vent AGAIN. You and all the ladies here have been a wonderful support system. It just feels so good to finally get that all off my chest, you have no idea.

 

And Catwoman, I like the way you think :coolgleamA:

[Impish]

:grouphug: