Using utensils to eat

[ballardlm]

My son is 21 months and today when my dad kept him he said I needed to teach him to use a spoon/fork. He seemed shocked that my son still eats with his hands. We introduced utensils as soon as he started solid foods and he knows how to use them, but most of the time he just uses his hands or fingers because it is faster. I thought this was normal and that he would just gradually start using utensils more and his hands less. Should I be doing something different?

[Chris in VA]

It's up to you, but I figured the more practice they got, the quicker they'd be able to eat like non-Cave People.

I allowed them to move at their own pace when itty-bitty, but, iirc, I began encouraging more utensil use around 18 months or so.

[regentrude]

My DD learned first to eat with a fork and then with a spoon. At 18 months, it was expected that the kids in daycare eat their warm meal using a spoon.

There were still finger foods that are eaten with the fingers - but generally, at that age I would expect the kid to eat with utensils if it is a food meant to be eaten like this.

[Whereneverever]

I expect by 18 months or so them to use silverware with decent success.

[GSOchristie]

None of my kids can stand to have food on their hands, so they were utensil proficient by 15 months. My dd is 19 months, I don't think I would care if she still ate with her hands.

[Susan in KY]

DD is nearly 12 and still eats with her hands. :) If it's important to you, you should start encouraging using the spoon and fork.

 

In dd's defense, her father *is* Indian and hands are a perfectly acceptable utensil here. She eats graciously with standard utensils outside the house.

[SKL]

DD is nearly 12 and still eats with her hands. :) If it's important to you, you should start encouraging using the spoon and fork.

 

In dd's defense, her father *is* Indian and hands are a perfectly acceptable utensil here. She eats graciously with standard utensils outside the house.

 

:iagree: My kids are not Indian, but Indian food is one of our staples, so the concept of food on the hands at the table is not a horrid thought.

 

My kids are 5 & 6. They began using utensils well before 18mos. The habit never caught on at home, though. Today they still prefer to use their hands with anything that's easy to pick up. Outside or when pressed, they know how to use utensils just fine. :001_smile:

 

In their defense, there isn't much logic to how we decide what needs utensils. Between fries and lettuce, which one is messier? The one we are supposed to eat with our hands. Whatever! Grown-ups are silly. ;)

[mskelly]

My kids eat with their hands quite a bit also. Yes, they CAN use utensils, but prefer hands. It doesn't usually bother me until the night we are having spaghetti, then I go a little crazy on them about using their fingers.

[happypamama]

Eh, all kids are different. One of mine insisted upon having a fork at a bit over a year and used it well. Others of mine preferred their hands for longer. My current 15mo loves having a fork but only sometimes uses it. I tend to give them forks and spoons pretty young, and they use them or don't. Probably by about age 2ish, I'd encourage them to use the utensils if they really weren't even trying, but I'd still expect that until 4 or so, they might also revert to using hands in some instances. (I do remember someone, DS2, I think, picking stuff up with his fingers to put on his fork, and then he'd use the fork to get the food to his mouth. That was probably around age 2. It was funny to watch.)

[Ellie]

I would encourage him to use his utensils. I wouldn't *correct* him, at this age, for eating with his hands, but I'd *encourage* him. Children will NOT learn good table manners on their own. You do NOT want him to be the example of How Not to Eat when he's 10yo, KWIM?

 

Furthermore, I would always put the spoon/fork in his hand so that he holds it properly. It will, of course, take time for him to be able to hold it properly on his own, and to use it properly, but that's ok. A 5yo can hold a fork/spoon properly if he is taught to do so, and you do that by starting now.

[Catwoman]

My ds never ate with his hands. I fed him until he was able to use utensils correctly. I can't stand to see a kid with messy food all over his hands! :ack2:

[Tidbits of Learning]

My ds never ate with his hands. I fed him until he was able to use utensils correctly. I can't stand to see a kid with messy food all over his hands! :ack2:

 

This was us as well. Unless it was distinctly a finger good (cheerios, fries, nuggets...), then I fed with a utensil until old enough to manage a spoon/fork. I had 3 kids in 3 years and I definitely could not have stood the mess of eating foods with hands.

Mine were eating with utensils by 15 months probably on their own. I definitely introduced it by a year and helped with it until they got it down. So I guess, yes, I would feel a 21 month old could be successfully taught to feed themselves with a proper sized spoon/fork. I probably did expect it a few months into them being introduced and would correct them if they picked up non-finger foods with hands.

Edited October 29, 2012 by OpenMinded

[KrissiK]

My 9 year old DS still eats with his hands.:001_huh: And it's not that we don't remind and remind and remind. We just keep saying, "As soon as he gets a girlfriend....." hopefully some of these behaviours will go away!

[ballardlm]

This was us as well. Unless it was distinctly a finger good (cheerios, fries, nuggets...), then I fed with a utensil until old enough to manage a spoon/fork. I had 3 kids in 3 years and I definitely could not have stood the mess of eating foods with hands.

Mine were eating with utensils by 15 months probably on their own. I definitely introduced it by a year and helped with it until they got it down. So I guess, yes, I would feel a 21 month old could be successfully taught to feed themselves with a proper sized spoon/fork. I probably did expect it a few months into them being introduced and would correct them if they picked up non-finger foods with hands.

 

 

How did you do this? I'm not judging at all, in fact this sounds fantastic and I would like to try it with my next child, but I don't understand how it works. How do they learn if you don't let them practice and make a mess? How do you correct them? How do you deal with the "me do" stage if they are still getting food everywhere? When my son eats he makes a huge mess. Food is everywhere. I just thought that was normal. Now I think maybe I made a new mom mistake :001_huh: