Who has twins?

[hollyh]

I am seeking the advise of BTDT people with twins! Mine just turned 3 and I am already seeing them differ in skill levels and I don't know what to do about it. It doesn't bother me that they are at different levels- but because I intend to homeschool them, it kind of complicates them more.

 

My dd knows all sounds and has started blending. She can color well and easily grasps things.

 

My ds only knows a few letters/sounds and will need direct instruction to attain them. He doesn't even know how to hold a crayon and has no interest in it. He is finally showing interest in books.

 

I don't want to push a child when he is not ready (my ds), but also don't want to hold a child back when she is ready (my dd). That being said, I would much prefer to have the kids on the same level when they start formal school! Ya know! I would much rather teach one reading lesson than 2 for them! Not to mention how I don't want my son feeling behind later when the truth is just that his sister is ahead... On the other hand, that is the joy of homeschooling- that I can differentiate according to their skill levels... I just had hoped they would be similar...

 

So, what have you all done?

[Juniper]

I hate to say...but it probably is not going to happen. They are twins, but completely different kids and genders.

 

I have identical twin boys, and even they are at very different levels for reading.

 

:grouphug:

[dhudson]

I have taught math and reading separate and then just had them together for everything else.

[Um_2_4]

My twins are also 3 and I will say I dreamed of having a cute little "class" of 2, but reality is they each have different strengths..

DD3 is the verbal child and repeats EVERYTHING...obviously auditory

DS3 is the spatial/visual kid

I just involve them both in both things, like read 1 book to both, but DS is more interested in the picture, and DD in listening and repeating the story back.

DS can do 24pc puzzles in seconds flat, DD still struggles some with puzzles.

DS and DD both know shapes, colors, letters, but DS is not talking yet, so he can only point, circle, etc.

Pretty sure DD will read first. DS can "count" higher than her though (on games on the computer is how I know, exercises like put 5 stars on the picture and he gets is right almost every time).

I hope to do 1 program, but appeal to each child's strengths.

[VeteranMom]

I have 10 yo b/g twins. They don't progress at the same rate in math. My son is a full year ahead of my dd in math. Also, my dd likes to read, but ds doesn't enjoy it and is a slower reader. Most subjects are combined. As they get older, I find that they like to compare each other's progress. I have to remind them that they will each have strengths and weaknesses. It's not a big deal and as they get older I am not comparing them as much. They will each have their own gifts and struggles- same as any other siblings.

[lea1]

I have two adopted, not biological related, same-age sons. I probably could have started teaching one of them to read when he was 3 but I waited until they were both ready at 4. The one who was ready at 4 ended up being a better reader than the one who was ready at 3 and he also enjoys reading more now.

 

The one who was ready to read at 3 was also always ahead with fine motor skills and has always been a bit ahead in his ability to write. I have just let him move ahead a bit and have been giving him a little extra writing to do. He is a lot faster than his brother.

 

We do everything together though and I know it is a lot easier to teach them this way. I think they are close enough in skills that neither of them are being held back too much in any area.

 

I think it is hard to tell at the age of 3 who will really be ahead in some areas later. They may take turns taking the lead in different areas. For me personally, I was glad I waited a year to start teaching them to read. I was able to teach them together, which they enjoyed and was easier for me. Neither of them suffered for it.

[SunkistJoy]

I have almost 9yo fraternal girls. They are at completely different places in all skill subjects. We do content subjects together, but that is all. It really hasn't been a problem for them, even though I worried that it would be. Luckily, the one who is not as far in her schoolwork is my completely over confident kid. ;) Honestly, for my girls, I suspect that having their own work may ease the competitiveness. If they were doing the exact same assignment at the exact same time I think they would be comparing who got more right. This way they are only competing against themselves.

 

Good luck!

[sbgrace]

My boys are 8 and have always been at vastly different points developmentally. Their strengths and weaknesses just don't over-lap at all. I don't see this changing here because mine are just so different.

 

I delayed academics quite a bit past when twin A was ready and started them a bit earlier than would have been ideal for twin B. It didn't hurt anything and I don't regret it per se though I can see why that might not be the right thing for another twin family.

 

Basically, if you can't get away with doing something with your daughter and not your son without him feeling left out or seeing himself as less potentially I personally would delay. I would not try to do academics with him as he's not ready. I think it's infinitely more damaging to start too early with the child than to start too late. Obviously I chose to delay both but I'm more of a delayed academics philosophy anyway.

 

As far as the future. In my experience there is a good chance fraternal twins won't ever be ideal to teach together like you might be envisioning. For my own ease, though, I do keep my kids in the same curriculum at the same points. But I can't teach the lessons together. I work with one at a time on math and language arts. We only do science and history together.

 

Twin A could be much further in math than we are and twin B could undoubtedly be further in language arts. That doesn't bother me but some parents may really want to take full advantage of the ability to tailor to each child's pacing. Personally, for us, if I were to do that I would have to have different curriculum choices for each to avoid direct comparison. I tried that for a while in math and it just wasn't good for me so we went back to same pacing, same curriculum, but individual lessons. I just spend a lot more time on the math lesson with my non-math inclined child. He doesn't always do the same number of problems as his twin though they don't know it. Sometimes I have to stall with the non-math and add some additional things for the mathy kid while he waits. That seems to work best here. My sons are aware that things come easier in certain areas for the other. One is particularly aware of that. I wish it weren't so but I think it's natural for some, maybe most, kids to compare. I just keep emphasizing that we're all different and having to work harder doesn't mean we won't be just as great at something at the end of all that hard work. I actually believe that. Since you have boy/girl the comparison thing may be less of an issue than with same sex twins.

Edited October 24, 2012 by sbgrace

[Lolly]

Mine are 18 now! :svengo: One has learning disabilities that really complicate matters. I kept them (and the older and younger sibling) together for everything possible. That does not include reading and math. Those two subjects had to be separated. I adjust my expectations on assignments based on individual abilities. The kids have no need to know what those are. ;)

 

That said, the girls DO realize that one is academically stronger than the other. It is very, very hard and does cause some self pity. It has not, however, hurt their relationship.

[JFSinIL]

My twins are fraternal boys, and about as different as twins can be, now that they are 21. One has autism, is still at a first grade reading level, the other is an Honors Chem. major in college.

 

Way back in the old days, when I had little kids, (I have two girls, too) I did some subjects together. Others - individual. For your little kids, go ahead and do whatever simple, basic, FUN reading or pre-reading activities the kids would like. Same for messing with counting/numbers. When they are older, go ahead with simple, fun history and science. Art is a must at that age - so much fun!

 

Since a lot will be YOU reading to them for a while, they will do those lessons together (history, etc.)

 

For reading - you will need to teach each kid 1:1 anyway, so doesn't matter if they are different levels. Even in a classroom the teacher has to break the kids down into leveled reading groups. Don't worry about it.

[JFSinIL]

My twins are fraternal boys, and about as different as twins can be, now that they are 21. One has autism, is a a first grade reading level, the other is an Honors Chem. major in college.

 

Way back in the old days, when I had little kids, (I have two girls, too) I did some subjects together. Others - individual. For your little kids, go ahead and do whatever simple, basic, FUN reading or pre-reading activities the kids would like. Same for messing with counting/numbers. When they are older, go ahead with simple, fun history and science. Art is a must at that age - so much fun!

 

Since a lot will be YOU reading to them for a while, they will do those lessons together (history, etc.)

 

For reading - you will need to teach each kid 1:1 anyway, so doesn't matter if they are different levels. Even in a classroom the teacher has to break the kids down into leveled reading groups. Don't worry about it.

 

 

If, down the road, the kids become aware that they are not on the same page, so to speak, in all subjects - so what? I am sure Twin A will have his own strengths in areas Twin B does not. Find things each kid is good at or interested in to compliment them on (Like - A knows all about frogs, and B is the expert on Lego-architecture. )

[SKL]

Now you know what the PS teachers have to go through! Kids of any age are all over the place ability-wise.

 

My kids are 3 months apart and the youngest is miles ahead of the oldest academically. They are in b&m school, so it's not exactly your situation, but it's hard because they both know there is a huge gap. I'm afterschooling and the advanced one definitely gets the short shrift because her sister needs so much more help. And the oldest gets kudos for getting a B while her sister got an A+ on the same assignment. It's an interesting dance.

 

My youngest showed signs of academic aptitude very early, but I didn't do much about it because her older sister was nowhere near ready. When oldest was 3, I came to understand that she had vision-related learning problems, so I started to meet each child where she was. Youngest soon began reading as oldest participated in vision therapy. Do I wish I had differentiated earlier? I'm not sure it would have made much difference earlier than age 3.5. But if I had waited much longer, that would have been a mistake.

 

I recommend that your school time incorporate things that build on the strengths of each child. In our case, Oldest was best at physical things while Youngest was best at the academic basics. So I struck a balance to make sure that each girl had her moments to shine.

 

Good luck!

[Chava_Raizel]

My twin boys are at different reading levels, different spelling levels, but they are close in the rest of their subjects. This is probably true of most children that are the same age though.

 

You can't force two different people into the same grade level, no matter how much easier it would make your life. (Ask me how I know :tongue_smilie:)

 

However, your twins are only 3. A lot can change over the next few years. They might level out.

[Unicorn.]

Mine went back and forth when they were little on abilities. One read The Harry Potter Books on her own in 2nd grade, the other was reading The Magic Treehouse Books. Don't fret about it, they are only 3. My non reader tested at a higher comprehension level last year, but her sister tested higher in vocab. Their spelling scores were identical. It will all work itself out in the end. You can treat them as individuals, and still do lessons together, and some apart if necessary. Just breathe, momma. They're only 3!

[Farrar]

8 yo twins here. Probably identical.

 

Like everyone else's, mine are really different in many ways. One of them reads a bit better, spells vastly better, dances, likes just plodding through things, has a very happy-go-lucky attitude.

 

The other one is a bit better at soccer and swimming, plays the piano a bit better, is a bit more of a creative thinker at math, makes such better connections in history and when we read aloud complex stories, has a dark attitude and can be very anxious.

 

Different curricula helps so they can't compare themselves quite so much. It's not always easy though.

[suppleasthewind]

My twins are 9. It would be so much easier to do homeschooling quarterly reports if they would just do the same stuff. But they have different interests and I like to encourage them to follow them. They have same material for most subjects, but then one will do extra work or reading and I have to note that for the reports.

[mermo]

I have 5 year old b/g twins. My DD sounds similar to yours and my DS wanted no part of anything schoolish (never wanted to color, write, play educational ipad games, etc).

 

Now my DS has better handwriting, can color quite well (still does not ever chose this activity for fun) and is picking up math very easily. His reading/phonics skills are not as strong as his sister's. He continues to be quite the wiggle worm but is definitely absorbing information.

 

I do math and phonics separately and will likely continue with this plan. I really think the extra time is well worth it to meet each child's needs and avoid any additional competition and comparison.

[MariannNOVA]

My b/g twins had their twelfth birthday yesterday.

 

I teach math separately.....I can do language arts and humanities with them at the same time...but I will go back and do more with dd later b/c she enjoys it more.

 

It's just the way it is.