I.Dup. Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 I just recently met 2 widows in our neighborhood. One has been a widow for 30+ years the other was recently widowed. They are both in their 70's and 80's. I am wondering what I can do to help them in some way? We don't bake because of food allergies so baking them cookies and pies isn't really an option. I get nervous about starting things like this because I always feel obligated to continue and with all of my children I'm not sure all of what I can commit to. But I would like to brighten their lives in some way. WDYT? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 Lots of elderly folks are lonely and just like company. You could just go introduce yourself and say "hello I'm ....." and leave your number in case of emergency or they'd like a little chat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 rake their leaves after most of the leaves have fallen. One day activity that you can do as a family group. If you have snow, shovel their snow. If you have a lot of snow, they may come to expect it. But if you only get snow once or twice a winter that might be nice too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth S Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 Do they know each other? Maybe you could have them both over to your house for an easy lunch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 My widowed Grandma would just like company. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lara in Colo Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 You could do a project day once every now and then--- I know my mother's biggest need is husband projects---- hanging pictures, winterizing the house, installing a window AC unit. Raking leaves, mowing every now and then. So make a project day, announce it to her so she knows the day and can have a list and purchase supplies then have your whole family involved. One day-- done til spring. My next door neighbor (she is 76) and I have a grocery store arrangement, I call and ask what she needs when I go-- she does the same--We do this every week and it is no effort at all to pickup some milk but it is AWESOME to have her save me a trip for one item. I also have coffee and something at her house every now and then to just talk. We invite her to dinner frequently (and vice versa) Just some ideas Lara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PuddleJumper1 Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 My grandmother is 89 and has been widowed for 17 years. She currently lives in an apartment attached to my house but when she was on her own (and even with us here) the things she really appreciated/appreciates are: Company - it's hard when several days go by with no human contact. Even just the kids running in to say hello makes her day. Grass mowed, leaves raked Checking to see if she needs a ride to church, the doctor etc. Checking with her if I'm headed to the store to see if she needs anything Repairs - if an outside light is out, replace the bulb - that sort of thing. Talking about her past - asking what life was like in her childhood. If you are so inclined - have them over for a meal occasionally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 Whatever else you do, I would make it clear to them that they can call on you for help. I also think plenty of single people wouldn't mind food, if you are inclined, in other words, they don't only want pies. An interesting book about neighbors is In the Neighborhood by Peter Lovenheim. A woman on his street was murdered by her husband, and he felt it could maybe have been avoided if she had felt she had a neighbor to call on to help right before it happened. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 Yes. I caretake in the mornings for an 87 yr old. I used to help both her and her husband, but he passed last July. The thing she always says is that she wishes people would just come over and spend time with her. People ask ME how she is doing because they know I work for her. I am forever telling them to go over and see her, but no one ever does. They are afraid of it being uncomfortable, or they are afraid to bring up her dh in fear of upsetting her. What she loves more than anything is kids. She has a pool and is always telling me that my kids can invite their friends over to swim. She likes the noise around, instead of the silence. The silence is what reminds her her husband is gone. :( I agree with the pp who mentioned inviting them both over for lunch. You may start a nice friendship between them. :) That's sucks no one would visit. I did the meals on wheels thing in college on Fridays because I only had one am class. It took me FOREVER, because I was so young and spunky and they just wanted to remember what that was like, and I just couldn't get out the door. I loved some of those people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrganicAnn Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 I know my mom loves just watching little kids play. Also you might ask if there are small things you can do. My mom has a hard time going out and picking up her paper, especially if it is thrown to an awkward place. Usually a neighbor will see it and put it up against her door and that really helps her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.Dup. Posted October 23, 2012 Author Share Posted October 23, 2012 Thank you all for the ideas! Yes. I caretake in the mornings for an 87 yr old. I used to help both her and her husband, but he passed last July. The thing she always says is that she wishes people would just come over and spend time with her. People ask ME how she is doing because they know I work for her. I am forever telling them to go over and see her, but no one ever does. They are afraid of it being uncomfortable, or they are afraid to bring up her dh in fear of upsetting her. What she loves more than anything is kids. She has a pool and is always telling me that my kids can invite their friends over to swim. She likes the noise around, instead of the silence. The silence is what reminds her her husband is gone. :( I agree with the pp who mentioned inviting them both over for lunch. You may start a nice friendship between them. :) How sad!!! :crying: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 We lived next door to a couple of 90 year olds for a few years when we first moved up here. One year, we all went over and raked their leaves into one of those GIANT pumpkin bags and sat it on their deck. They loved that because they didn't do much decorating anymore. If you can't back cookies, take over cheese and crackers and chat with them. You all must eat some sort of snack! :) Have your kids make turkey handprint drawings or something cute/crafty they can look at when they are lonely. And check in on them and help your older kids get comfortable with them. Maybe in time, your older kids could go over and sit with them too. What about holidays? Are they alone on Thanksgiving or Xmas? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.Dup. Posted October 23, 2012 Author Share Posted October 23, 2012 We lived next door to a couple of 90 year olds for a few years when we first moved up here. One year, we all went over and raked their leaves into one of those GIANT pumpkin bags and sat it on their deck. They loved that because they didn't do much decorating anymore. If you can't back cookies, take over cheese and crackers and chat with them. You all must eat some sort of snack! :) Have your kids make turkey handprint drawings or something cute/crafty they can look at when they are lonely. And check in on them and help your older kids get comfortable with them. Maybe in time, your older kids could go over and sit with them too. What about holidays? Are they alone on Thanksgiving or Xmas? Great ideas to have the kids make them something!!! And bring over an easy snack- these are great, thank you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 Great ideas to have the kids make them something!!! And bring over an easy snack- these are great, thank you! You are very, very welcome. And I was surprised by how fond my children grew of our neighbors and how tender they all were with each other. It was one of the best things I've ever exposed my kids to. And you're right. We need to go visit Mrs. Bohn. Her husband has since died. The kids and I will do that next week when DH is out of town. They will be thrilled. And we can take her some gorgeous fall mums! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momto3innc Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 My grandmother is 89 and has been widowed for 17 years. She currently lives in an apartment attached to my house but when she was on her own (and even with us here) the things she really appreciated/appreciates are: Company - it's hard when several days go by with no human contact. Even just the kids running in to say hello makes her day. Grass mowed, leaves raked Checking to see if she needs a ride to church, the doctor etc. Checking with her if I'm headed to the store to see if she needs anything Repairs - if an outside light is out, replace the bulb - that sort of thing. Talking about her past - asking what life was like in her childhood. If you are so inclined - have them over for a meal occasionally. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 My grandmother used to like it when I polished her brass. She said she couldn't really see it any more so not to bother, but I never believed her. It make her all happy. ;) Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 I just recently met 2 widows in our neighborhood. One has been a widow for 30+ years the other was recently widowed. They are both in their 70's and 80's. I am wondering what I can do to help them in some way? We don't bake because of food allergies so baking them cookies and pies isn't really an option. I get nervous about starting things like this because I always feel obligated to continue and with all of my children I'm not sure all of what I can commit to. But I would like to brighten their lives in some way. WDYT? I clean houses for elderly people. I bring them magazines. Actually, I'm kind of a hub for used magazines. I take them with me and distribute them to other clients. Other small things I do that aren't time consuming: Pick up library books for them if there's one they want to read. Change light bulbs and air filters. Take out their trash to the curb. Set up seasonal decorations. Take down seasonal decorations. I am really good at telling them that it's too much or I can't help right now. I do think that they just need someone to listen sometimes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 Also things like cleaning their yard or dealing with snow, if applicable, helps a lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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