I do not like bridal parties. Signed, Mother of the Bride.

[FaithManor]

:confused:What is it about being asked to be in a wedding that makes perfectly normal people become Attila the Hun wannabe's?

 

If you are adamantly opposed to ever being seen in public because of your "cool dude" reputation, then when the groom asks you say, "NO, but thanks for asking and congratulations!" This is preferable to now whining your immature behind off in a flurry of emails because you have to dress up.

 

If you are your dear niece's recently divorced aunt who has been EXCEEDINLY close to niece - like a second mother - but have recently decided to "sow your wild oats" and your new style of dress can only be described as "opening scene - costumes from the PRETTY WOMAN movie before Richard Gere bought her the nice clothes from Rodeo Dr." and the niece that loves you very, very much asks you to be a bridesmaid, DO NOT CALL THE BRIDE TO COMPLAIN LOUD AND LONG THAT THE DRESS SHE'D LIKE YOU TO WEAR ISN'T TRAMPY ENOUGH FOR YOU! :glare: (oh, yess...my sister wants to wear a cocktail dress two sizes too small, with a hemline only three inches below her thong, and a plunge neckline where the V point, at best, is two inches above her belly button and black. Colors are ivory and peach with gold accents and everything very vintage looking.) My daughter is in tears and for the first time in my entire life, I had a fight with my sister. I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not happy right now.

 

So, she's agreed to something more appropriate, in exchange we are not supposed to expect her to stick around the reception long so she can change and go to a night club. I don't know who to be angrier with...the nut job she married who so deeply wounded her that she's kind of lost herself completely, or her for being 34 years old and acting like she's 15! She's a psychologist/family counselor toooooooooooo. :confused:

 

Lastly, if you are the bride's dear cousin and she asks you to be in her bridal party and she chooses dresses (not all matching, she's trying to give the girls choices so they can match their own body types and preferences within reason and none of them are floor length so possibly they could be used again or easier to sell) that are all less than $120.00 and offers to pay for your dress to help you financially - out of her own, pathetic paramedic wages - don't go out and find one for $350.00 that you like better and then demand she pay for that!

 

Honestly, I don't know the boy...he's a friend of groom so thankfully, someone else, presumably the groom and his parents, will deal with it. But, these two women...my dear relatives....people I've never had a quarrel with in my entire life, I'd like to shake. They have really hurt her feelings and don't seem to care.

 

I feel like saying, "DD, run. Run for your life. We'll still pay for the dress, we'll give you the rest of the money, and we'll meet you in Jamaica or somewhere else and you can tie the knot without the mental people!"

 

Of course, this would offend his parents, and my folks would be soooooo disappointed because they wouldn't be able to afford to go and we wouldn't be able to afford to bring them along.

 

Sigh....I know why people elope. I do not blame my nephew for keeping his impending marriage under wraps and meeting her at the courthouse, having it all done in about 10 minutes. I get it. I soooooo get it.

 

Faith

[justLisa]

I'm deleting my comment because I said something personal about something I don't ever getting in to the wrong ears.

 

But totally commiserating

Edited October 11, 2012 by 425lisamarie

[fairfarmhand]

my dad got remarried last spring to a nice lady who's been single for over 20 years. Everyone wanted to be in the wedding. Finally, she just decided to have a maid of honor and no others in the party.

 

I told my dad that they could do what they wanted in the wedding. They could include me and my kids or not. I didn't care. I was happy for them and that was that.

 

It was their wedding, not mine.

[AK_Mom4]

:grouphug:

 

This is why I had only one bridesmaid - my very sensible and tasteful sister who picked her own very nice and reasonably priced dress that could be worn again.

 

BTW - your DD could always change her plans - scale back the extra bridesmaids and just say that they needed to "trim costs".

[Farrar]

Weddings just bring out the crazy in everyone. Rarely have I heard a story of a wedding that didn't have some type of drama accompanying it. But that includes weddings that come off beautifully, are enjoyed by all, and lead to happy memories to start a wonderful marriage. So, at least there's hope.

[nukeswife]

Oy! It's things like this I hear that make me so grateful dh and I did things the way we did.

 

I lived in WI and he in RI at the time. He bought me some flowers, hired a JOP, asked his best friend and best friends wife if they would be our best man/matron of honor (her and I had hit it off really well when we met just once while I was visiting) We told both of our parents, here's the date and time, show up, don't show up, but we're getting married that day at that time.

 

I feel for you having to deal with your sister who seems to be in the middle of some sort of mid-life crisis, as well as the cousin and the groom's friend, but they all need to suck it up and realize it's not about them.

 

I just hope that when my dd gets married (if she ever does, we have time as she's not even 11 yet) that she keeps her blunt, no-nonsense attitude, that way I know we'll be good in this area, because she won't have any problem telling people to not let the door hit them on the backside on their way out.

[Kathryn]

:grouphug: weddings make people crazy. I don't get it.

[happi duck]

:grouphug:

 

This is why I had only one bridesmaid - my very sensible and tasteful sister who picked her own very nice and reasonably priced dress that could be worn again.

 

BTW - your DD could always change her plans - scale back the extra bridesmaids and just say that they needed to "trim costs".

 

:iagree:

[Miss Marple]

Oh, I feel your pain! We went through this just this past spring. Sigh - yes normal, intelligent folks can become total idiots over being in the wedding party. And to think one woman could do this to another, esp. since one has already experienced the wedding drama issues!?!

 

Hang in there. It will pass. They are idiots and you can't do anything about it. They will regain their brains - sometime.

Edited October 12, 2012 by CynthiaOK

[FaithManor]

:grouphug:

 

This is why I had only one bridesmaid - my very sensible and tasteful sister who picked her own very nice and reasonably priced dress that could be worn again.

 

BTW - your DD could always change her plans - scale back the extra bridesmaids and just say that they needed to "trim costs".

 

 

This is where I'm at. I'd cut them out.

 

However, dd needs to make that decision. Other than that, no worries. We are getting along great with the groom's parents in terms of planning and I've got other things humming along. I just feel so bad for her and for him. He's crushed that his best friend is being such a jerk, and she's hurt...really hurt. She has always been so close to these women. However, I'm willing to admit that my sister lives out of state and we haven't been together in a while. Something is seriously going on with her and she's going to have to work it out of her system, but I may have to say, "Do that on your own time and leave dd out of it." As for the cousin, this is also out of no where, but dd has said, "I'm not paying for that". Said person will live with it or bow out and while that would be a shame and I know dd would feel badly, she's decided not to play that game.

 

She may just go with her "honorary" sister whom we temporarily raised and the two of them are two peas in a pod, and groom's sister. The groom's sis is just the sweetest, nicest, easiest going gal and I'm grateful she's just happy to be asked and thrilled for her brother.

 

Grrr....this too shall pass, right?

 

Faith

[Guest]

I'm sorry. Gotta hate wedding insanity. Right at the moment, I having a lot of complaining to myself along the lines of, "Do any of these people actually care about me, as a person, or do they only care about how well I meet all their needs, wishes, and desires?" Blah. Sorry your people cannot just be happy and generous.

[Georgiana Daniels]

:confused:What is it about being asked to be in a wedding that makes perfectly normal people become Attila the Hun wannabe's?

 

If you are adamantly opposed to ever being seen in public because of your "cool dude" reputation, then when the groom asks you say, "NO, but thanks for asking and congratulations!" This is preferable to now whining your immature behind off in a flurry of emails because you have to dress up.

 

If you are your dear niece's recently divorced aunt who has been EXCEEDINLY close to niece - like a second mother - but have recently decided to "sow your wild oats" and your new style of dress can only be described as "opening scene - costumes from the PRETTY WOMAN movie before Richard Gere bought her the nice clothes from Rodeo Dr." and the niece that loves you very, very much asks you to be a bridesmaid, DO NOT CALL THE BRIDE TO COMPLAIN LOUD AND LONG THAT THE DRESS SHE'D LIKE YOU TO WEAR ISN'T TRAMPY ENOUGH FOR YOU! :glare: (oh, yess...my sister wants to wear a cocktail dress two sizes too small, with a hemline only three inches below her thong, and a plunge neckline where the V point, at best, is two inches above her belly button and black. Colors are ivory and peach with gold accents and everything very vintage looking.) My daughter is in tears and for the first time in my entire life, I had a fight with my sister. I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not happy right now.

 

So, she's agreed to something more appropriate, in exchange we are not supposed to expect her to stick around the reception long so she can change and go to a night club. I don't know who to be angrier with...the nut job she married who so deeply wounded her that she's kind of lost herself completely, or her for being 34 years old and acting like she's 15! She's a psychologist/family counselor toooooooooooo. :confused:

 

Lastly, if you are the bride's dear cousin and she asks you to be in her bridal party and she chooses dresses (not all matching, she's trying to give the girls choices so they can match their own body types and preferences within reason and none of them are floor length so possibly they could be used again or easier to sell) that are all less than $120.00 and offers to pay for your dress to help you financially - out of her own, pathetic paramedic wages - don't go out and find one for $350.00 that you like better and then demand she pay for that!

 

Honestly, I don't know the boy...he's a friend of groom so thankfully, someone else, presumably the groom and his parents, will deal with it. But, these two women...my dear relatives....people I've never had a quarrel with in my entire life, I'd like to shake. They have really hurt her feelings and don't seem to care.

 

I feel like saying, "DD, run. Run for your life. We'll still pay for the dress, we'll give you the rest of the money, and we'll meet you in Jamaica or somewhere else and you can tie the knot without the mental people!"

 

Of course, this would offend his parents, and my folks would be soooooo disappointed because they wouldn't be able to afford to go and we wouldn't be able to afford to bring them along.

 

Sigh....I know why people elope. I do not blame my nephew for keeping his impending marriage under wraps and meeting her at the courthouse, having it all done in about 10 minutes. I get it. I soooooo get it.

 

Faith

 

That stinks! Some people have no idea how to be gracious.

 

So glad my daughter didn't have a bridal party because that would've made me nuts. (Though, to be fair, I really like all her close friends and female relatives.)

 

Let's just say.....you'll be ever so relieved when the whole thing is over!

[Tammyla]

I'm hoping my dd (when the day comes) will opt for a destination wedding and I'll gladly pick up the bill.

 

:grouphug:My sympathies, I hope the wedding party pulls it together and acts like the supporting adults they are supposed to be.

[Mommyof4ks]

:grouphug: People are crazy, and if dh and I had had the money to elope we would have. :) I wanted a pretty wedding, not a courthouse thing, and we made that happen on our tiny budget, but a beach wedding in the Florida Keys would have been nicer away from the crazy.

 

As for the tramp dress, :001_huh:. Wow.

[hillfarm]

I recall at one point having so many unreasonable requests and complaints being made when I was planning my wedding, I sent out an email saying the following;

 

"A number of people have expressed concerns and desires regarding my wedding that I am unable to fulfill. If I hear one more gripe, the wedding will be held in the middle of a muddy field on a rainy day. I will be able to tell who loves me by who is willing to inconvenience themselves for me, instead of asking me to alter my dream day to suit them. Thank you."

 

I was at the end of my rope! They all settled down and the wedding proceeded smoothly. And 29 years later, the marriage is still thriving.:grouphug:

[KatieJ]

I recall at one point having so many unreasonable requests and complaints being made when I was planning my wedding, I sent out an email saying the following;

 

"A number of people have expressed concerns and desires regarding my wedding that I am unable to fulfill. If I hear one more gripe, the wedding will be held in the middle of a muddy field on a rainy day. I will be able to tell who loves me by who is willing to inconvenience themselves for me, instead of asking me to alter my dream day to suit them. Thank you."

 

I was at the end of my rope! They all settled down and the wedding proceeded smoothly. And 29 years later, the marriage is still thriving.:grouphug:

 

Wow, you had email 29 years ago?

 

I do understand the sentiment.

[tex-mex]

Weddings just bring out the crazy in everyone. Rarely have I heard a story of a wedding that didn't have some type of drama accompanying it. But that includes weddings that come off beautifully, are enjoyed by all, and lead to happy memories to start a wonderful marriage. So, at least there's hope.

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[besroma]

:grouphug:

 

This is why I had only one bridesmaid - my very sensible and tasteful sister who picked her own very nice and reasonably priced dress that could be worn again.

 

BTW - your DD could always change her plans - scale back the extra bridesmaids and just say that they needed to "trim costs".

 

:iagree:

[justamouse]

Boo on bad behavior!

Sob on sad behavior!

 

Seriously. These people have no idea how to give of themselves. It is truly their wreck of their lives, but the pieces/parts that come flying off hurt the innocent bystanders.

 

:0(

 

:iagree::iagree:

 

I would ask to use hillfarm's meme and e-mail that to all. :D

 

 

:grouphug:

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

I will never understand people who argue with/dictate to/cause trouble for the bride and groom at weddings. :glare: I stood my ground on my wedding choices (despite pressure and arguing from people who will remain nameless,) and I have no regrets. My sister got married in May, changed more things for other people than she kept of her original plan, and is still sighing with regrets over giving in. Tell your daughter that this is HER (and the groom's) wedding and it's what THEY want. Period.

[KungFuPanda]

This is where I'm at. I'd cut them out.

 

However, dd needs to make that decision. Other than that, no worries. We are getting along great with the groom's parents in terms of planning and I've got other things humming along. I just feel so bad for her and for him. He's crushed that his best friend is being such a jerk, and she's hurt...really hurt. She has always been so close to these women. However, I'm willing to admit that my sister lives out of state and we haven't been together in a while. Something is seriously going on with her and she's going to have to work it out of her system, but I may have to say, "Do that on your own time and leave dd out of it." As for the cousin, this is also out of no where, but dd has said, "I'm not paying for that". Said person will live with it or bow out and while that would be a shame and I know dd would feel badly, she's decided not to play that game.

 

She may just go with her "honorary" sister whom we temporarily raised and the two of them are two peas in a pod, and groom's sister. The groom's sis is just the sweetest, nicest, easiest going gal and I'm grateful she's just happy to be asked and thrilled for her brother.

 

Grrr....this too shall pass, right?

 

Faith

 

From your description, I have a good feeling about this wedding. It sounds like the bride, groom, and their parents are lovely. That counts for a LOT. It'll be beautiful.