mama2cntrykids Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 Ok, my ex has been paying child support for the most of 8 years. Recently, he's been job hoping and hasn't paid since May. Well, I spoke to him recently and he's had a job for about three weeks (his mother verified this). He said that he was paid today and they didn't take anything out for child support. He said it's b/c he is working with the county, trying to get it lowered. He also told me that he would be sending me a cashiers check and he was wondering how much I usually get for support. I said, you don't know? No, he said. So I told him. He then asked if it was monthly or bi-weekly. You don't know? He said that they just would take out one lump sum (he also pays support for another kid he had after he left me) and that it doesn't distinguish between our boys and the other boys payments. I asked him why the state just wasn't taking out X amount from his check and he told me b/c he's trying to work with them on lowering it. He said they told him to just send me a cashiers check and mail them the receipt so they can keep track of what he's paying me:001_huh:. Am I the only one who this makes **no** sense to? Since when does the child support agency do this? What the heck is going on? Any ideas? I'd love to hear from someone who has worked in the child support sector. Thanks so much. I'm not really sure where to go with this. I mean, I have a worker, but I'm not sure that I should call her yet. I don't even know where ex is working (he won't say). During our convo, he also said other things that don't add up. I'm not sure what to think... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rjmakmom Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 Sounds fishy...but what do I know? My ex stopped paying me 3 years and 3 months ago :'( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 It takes a few paychecks, sometimes, for them to start garnishing wages. It can work out to at least 2 months. I've had that happen before... And yes, I think he could be in the dark about how much he pays for each child. Especially if he's stressed and just accepts it as taken.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 Sounds fishy...but what do I know? My ex stopped paying me 3 years and 3 months ago :'( But if it's court ordered... someday you'll most likely get it... especially if he ever tries to sell his house or files tax returns... right? At least that's how it's worked for me :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 It takes a few paychecks, sometimes, for them to start garnishing wages. It can work out to at least 2 months. I've had that happen before... And yes, I think he could be in the dark about how much he pays for each child. Especially if he's stressed and just accepts it as taken.... I agree.....but weird that he won't tell you where he works. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkInTheBlue Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 I would say "no, don't take it until you verify this with your local child support office". For us if you take payment outside of the system toy lose their help in maintaining the records of how late he is. Our offices say that if you have Chios support arranged to go through the court and then paid out to you do not ever let them talk you out of that. It becomes his word against yours about what he's done. Just my opinion and experience :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mama2cntrykids Posted September 1, 2012 Author Share Posted September 1, 2012 But if it's court ordered... someday you'll most likely get it... especially if he ever tries to sell his house or files tax returns... right? At least that's how it's worked for me :) Idk about the selling the house part, but I know if my ex actually filed taxes (he hasn't for years), I would receive anything he has coming back to him. He owns upwards of $20,000. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 Oh... here they just lose credit for what they give outside of the system.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hen Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 could he have arrangements with his new job to be paid "under the table" or to be given something for work instead of wages, to get out of paying child support? This might be why he won't tell you where he is working and why he is being fishy with details. I'd call someone from child support enforcement or your lawyer - and ask about any problems for you later if you accept a cashier's check from him, like another poster suggested. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 Idk about the selling the house part, but I know if my ex actually filed taxes (he hasn't for years), I would receive anything he has coming back to him. He owns upwards of $20,000. You have to file a lien for this to work :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 could he have arrangements with his new job to be paid "under the table" or to be given something for work instead of wages, to get out of paying child support? This might be why he won't tell you where he is working and why he is being fishy with details. I'd call someone from child support enforcement or your lawyer - and ask about any problems for you later if you accept a cashier's check from him, like another poster suggested. This was my first thought too - sounds like he is getting paid under the table. I would call your worker and ask about accepting the cashier's check. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 I bet he is being paid under the table or is an 'independent contractor' who is expected to self pay. I would call your worker and discuss any potential ramifications you could face by accepting a payment out of the system. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reflections Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 Don't accept payment out of the system. Tell him to mail it directly to the people who process his payments to you. Otherwise, tell him, it could be bad for him as you *could* lie or forget that he has paid you this amount and they won't know what to credit. I have no idea if it is bad for you to accept payment, but because I smell somthin' is enough for me to be obstinate and stubborn and start insisting that he pay through regular channels like a good boy. I second anyone and everyone's opinion that this right here is enough to call a contact person about this issue. Somewhere he has documentation about what he is supposed to paying. Boy it stinks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mama2cntrykids Posted September 1, 2012 Author Share Posted September 1, 2012 I really just want to accept the payment since dh is laid-up b/c of surgery. The kids really need shoes! I think I will call Tues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 In NJ, we are not allowed to make or accept any direct payments once an order is filed. It opens the door for way too many disputes, tying up the courtroom. And I do suspect he's working under the table. It is illegal for an employer to refuse to send a payment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXBeth Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 In NJ, we are not allowed to make or accept any direct payments once an order is filed. It opens the door for way too many disputes, tying up the courtroom. And I do suspect he's working under the table. It is illegal for an employer to refuse to send a payment. I would suspect he is working under the table and using his "lack of income" to get the payments lowered. He is hoping you will be desperate enough for money to just accept the cashier's check and not investigate further. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 Thinking this over again, why can't he mail the check to the cs office himself?! That's what *I* do for ds, because I don't have an employer, lol! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 I am very sympathetic to your needs right now. I don't see what could go wrong if you take the money directly from him unless the state you live in has a problem with this. In Oregon most child support is garnished now, that is the law in this state. Support Enforcement in Oregon used to be a mafia like organization, although I have not heard the usual complaints about them so maybe they have changed, but maybe I don't know so many people who pay anymore, I don't know. I bring that up because you may need to know that who ever you deal with in the government may not have your best interest at heart. Don't ask how I know:glare: I would be very careful about keeping very close track of what ever you do because I agree that his whole scenario is really fishy. Something is not square here, and like other posters I believe that he is working under the table for a company that is not paying worker's comp or other such things for him and could not handle a garnishment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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