Bluegoat Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 The follow up to this all happened today. My advice, always take the advice of The Hive. The other mother has cut all contact with us. We have been officially uninvited to a house warming party. She has said that her children are not allowed to play with my dd. I'm not even sure how to tell my dd because these were her best friends and she saw them weekly. Wow. That seems totally insane to me. Her poor son. This is really not a huge deal. And I agree with Tibbi - it is likely to contribute to way more problems than it solves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 The follow up to this all happened today. My advice, always take the advice of The Hive. The other mother has cut all contact with us. We have been officially uninvited to a house warming party. She has said that her children are not allowed to play with my dd. I'm not even sure how to tell my dd because these were her best friends and she saw them weekly. Seriously? I say good riddance, it is obvious your families are not a good match. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hen Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 wow, I am sitting here with my mouth open too, after that update! in this situation, I would try to talk to the mom and present a rational view of it and assure her that I would supervise more, but present the idea that over-reacting could hurt her relationship and willingness to be open- with her kids. Maybe suggest a cooling off of hanging out time but not to punish the kids by ending friendship. if she still wants to end friendship over this, I would be tempted to white-lie to my kids and tell them that you and dh decided to cool the friendship because of how she over-reacted. -this, to try to counter feelings of shame you dd might have...though I guess both outcomes are going to make her feel like it is her fault. I am so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 wow, I am sitting here with my mouth open too, after that update! in this situation, I would try to talk to the mom and present a rational view of it and assure her that I would supervise more, but present the idea that over-reacting could hurt her relationship and willingness to be open- with her kids. Maybe suggest a cooling off of hanging out time but not to punish the kids by ending friendship. if she still wants to end friendship over this, I would be tempted to white-lie to my kids and tell them that you and dh decided to cool the friendship because of how she over-reacted. -this, to try to counter feelings of shame you dd might have...though I guess both outcomes are going to make her feel like it is her fault. I am so sorry. Yikes, me too!!!! What the heck?? That lady is in for some great shock when that boy hits puberty and is having a little happy time by himself (also normal....not encouraged, but totally normal.) Don't let her craziness effect your dd's self worth. I would white lie too....exactly the same way. That lady over-reacted and is making her son feel guilt where none is necessary. What happens when he really needs her. and can't trust her to react calmly..... poor kid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggieamy Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 :grouphug: I'm sorry she's such a douchebag. Well said. You don't want anything to do with a woman like that. Can you imagine what it would be like if the kids had been 16 and they had actually been kissing? She'd probably be trying to force them to get married. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 if she still wants to end friendship over this, I would be tempted to white-lie to my kids and tell them that you and dh decided to cool the friendship because of how she over-reacted. -this, to try to counter feelings of shame you dd might have...though I guess both outcomes are going to make her feel like it is her fault. I am so sorry. :iagree: I'm sorry for the hurt your dd will go through in losing her best friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sun Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 Wow. Just wow. Few things leave me with my mouth hanging open, but your update sure did. That is a crazy over-reaction, as you know! I feel really bad for her poor son. I'd focus on telling your daughter that the other family's reaction is way out of line. They're acting as if she should have a scarlet A painted on her, and it's utterly ridiculous. In that situation, I'd want to be sure that my child would realize that three innocent kisses do not make her a harlot! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 Not a big deal. So long as you are keeping an eye on them, I wouldn't be concerned. Sorry to hear about the other family's reaction Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elizabeth in MN Posted August 31, 2012 Author Share Posted August 31, 2012 We sat down today and I told my dd that I didn't want her to talk to them anymore. There were new allegations, which my dd hotly denies. I believe her as she is a very rare liar. She cried over it all and I said over and over that she did nothing wrong, that really no one did anything wrong and that the other mother is over reacting. Then we went out and ran some errands and got some ice cream. Things are better now. It's so hard for us to make friends. We're outsiders in a small and rural community, we go to an unusual church and we homeschool in a way different than everyone else here. So we are back to picking ourselves up, dusting off, and moving on with our lives. Thank you everyone for the support. I really needed it! My therapist is gonna have a field day when she comes back from vacation! LOL :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazyfordlr Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 Big hugs, mama!!! This parenting gig is NOT for the faint of heart! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 Urgh. Tell your little girl to go and pray for the sanity of her future mother in law, and to thank God heartily that Mme Freakout isn't her! :grouphug: Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 The follow up to this all happened today. My advice, always take the advice of The Hive. The other mother has cut all contact with us. We have been officially uninvited to a house warming party. She has said that her children are not allowed to play with my dd. I'm not even sure how to tell my dd because these were her best friends and she saw them weekly. :grouphug::grouphug: They are Captains Overreact. I'm so sorry your family has to go through this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 Mme Freakout:D, Captains Overreact....:lol::lol::lol: You guys kill me..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 We sat down today and I told my dd that I didn't want her to talk to them anymore. There were new allegations, which my dd hotly denies. I believe her as she is a very rare liar. She cried over it all and I said over and over that she did nothing wrong, that really no one did anything wrong and that the other mother is over reacting. Then we went out and ran some errands and got some ice cream. Things are better now. It's so hard for us to make friends. We're outsiders in a small and rural community, we go to an unusual church and we homeschool in a way different than everyone else here. So we are back to picking ourselves up, dusting off, and moving on with our lives. Thank you everyone for the support. I really needed it! My therapist is gonna have a field day when she comes back from vacation! LOL :001_smile: I'm sorry for you and your dd. :grouphug: I've BTDT with the bold. It is tough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MooCow Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 Take the other mom out to a bar. Order the largest margaritas available. Cry over the fact that, despite your best efforts, your children are human. Resolve to talk to your kids about appropriate behavior. Laugh about it when these kids don't even remember each other in 3 years. I am solidly in the "Kids do not need to grow up too fast" camp, but I see this type of behavior as totally normal. Just talk to your daughter about her feelings. There should be no shame attached to finding a boy attractive or being slightly curious. Though my oldest turned 12 yesterday, I am pretty sure this behavior is completely normal. I would just talk to my dd about boundaries, respecting herself, and age-appropriate behavior. No loss of sleep necessary. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MooCow Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: They are Captains Overreact. I'm so sorry your family has to go through this. :iagree: and rude, rude, rude. I've dealt with similar people like that as we are "outsiders", (inserteyerollhere) and quite honestly, our life is much better without them. It hurt at first, and made my blood just BOIL, especially since they are neighbors, but I've come to realize what goes around, comes around. And karma is a B**** Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpyTheFrog Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 I know it hurts, but your family doesn't need "friends" like these. Give yourself time to mourn the loss of friendship. Eventually, in a year or two, you'll be able to look back more objectively and realize you aren't missing anything. (I've been there, done that with a few relationships.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elizabeth in MN Posted September 1, 2012 Author Share Posted September 1, 2012 Urgh. Tell your little girl to go and pray for the sanity of her future mother in law, and to thank God heartily that Mme Freakout isn't her! :grouphug: Rosie *snort* Love the nickname for my former friend. That's a keeper : D I should start praying for my future SIL because he's gonna have to REALLY win me over. Overprotective single mama bear is overprotective :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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